Dear Diary

Woke up today with a massive smile on my face. Dreamt about Hermione being bombarded with Ron shaped plates. Wasn't quite the dream I anticipated but what the hey, it was good enough. I swear you get all those people who say they can interpret dreams. Well they should take a good look at mine! I can just see the looks on their faces, like this massive know-it-all smiles just DRIPS off their faces as soon as I mention the Ron Shaped plates bit. Actually they sound quite cool. (the plates, not dream interpreters) I wonder where I can get some.

At the mo I am sitting with the curtains drawn round my bed while my other room mates are having some kind of sleepover, ya know, lots of chocolate, giggling, swapping stories blah blah blah. And me and Jassi weren't invited! I suppose we aren't 'cool' enough for them. Well they should be careful with how loudly they tell their secrets is all I'm saying. Did you know Jessica has a crush on Seamus Finnigan? He shares a room with Ron, coincidentally. Not that I'm into blackmail or anything.

Bleugh! How can someone like Jessica fancy someone like SEAMUS FINNIGAN when there are fit people like Harry there instead?! Merlin that girl is blind. I mean it. I mean, no offence to Seamus or anything, but he is UGLY. I mean REALLY ugly. He can't help it, I suppose he is a very nice person under all that- er- ugliness, but really, MUST his smile always be so goofy? And his ears kind of resemble cabbage leaves, to my mind anyhoo, all sort of wrinkled and floppy. Have I mentioned that Harry has perfect ears?

Hermione would know.

Grrr. I promised myself (when I say myself I mean Jassi) that I would not stress out about her too much BUT I CAN'T HELP IT! I saw Harry put his arm round her waist today when he thought no-one was looking. They both looked so daft together I would of cracked up laughing if I didn't happen to have a crush on Harry the size of the universe. If mean, black hair and brown soooo does not go. But black and red does! Most definitely! She kind of snuggled into his armpit, looking like the kneazle that got the cream, and I had to turn away before I threw up (When I say that I mean Jassi forcibly hauled me away round the corner before I went and slapped the fish. I mean Hermione.)

That's something I have noticed about Hermione, is that she does kind of resemble a fish. I never realised this before but she has huge lips. I mean, positively HUGE, GIGANTIC lips. How can Harry even look at someone with lips that size? I mean they're like a walking pair of lips with a human attached. When I pointed this out to Jassi, however, she just gave me an exasperated look and snapped at me to get back to my work before she threw it at my head. Grumpy moo. Must be PMS.

I really wish they would shut Jessica up. I think she's kind of drunk, you know, she sounds all giggly and laughed hysterically when Paddy smashed a bottle against the wall. Paddy is a total psychopath, she's really scary to live with. She's, like reeeeally skinny, even skinnier than Jassi, and drinks nothing but vodka on the rocks all weekend. (Muggle family, she smuggles it in from her home) She always goes round wearing teeny- tiny tops under her robes to show off her navel ring, and all the boys want to be with her, mostly cos she puts out more than any other girl at Hogwarts. She hardly ever sleeps here. I heard tell she was with HARRY once, which is absolute bull because I heard Harry tell Ron he thought she was a total slut and he wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot broomstick. So ha ha ha. Harry is not one to eat his words. I should know, I watch him constantly.

Oh good. I think they're calling it a night. I shall attempt sleep. Ni'night.

The Next Day- at Breakfast

I think the House Elves have had a brain storm.

Seriously. Normally they serve really YUM stuff like, oooh bacon and eggs, French toast, crunchy cereal, sizzling sausages and beans... ahhh my mouths watering at the thought. But no. Not today. TODAY they take it into their TINY LITTLE BRAINS to serve tasteless sludge.

"Really! Its called porridge, and its quite nice with a spoonful of sugar and jam!" huffed Jassi when I dared ask her what the gloopy sludge was called. Her mums muggle so she knows about These Things.

"Hmmm," I mumble, spooning up the slu- ack- porridge and letting it plop back in the bowl, "Looks tasty." About as tasty as a flobberworms arse. Jassi gave me one of her 'looks.' "There's toast if you don't want it you know!" she barked, though she was hardly wolfing it down either, "Quit whining!"

Well, sor-ee! Didn't realise the porridge was so important in your life!

What I actually said was, "Er. Yeah. Maybe I'll try some anyway." Trust me an angry Jassi is a SCARY Jassi. She never really hits you but she goes totally narrow eyed and gives you a such a cold look your blood freezes. Kind of. Anyway, I'm never one for being scared to try new things, especially if its food.

So I add sugar and jam, like the All Knowing One suggested, and was about to shove a big spoonful in my gob, (resisting the urge to pinch my nose and close my eyes) when ALL OF A SUDDEN something grabs my shoulder. So being pretty startled I SNORTED, yes, you heard, snorted into my sludge which kind of blew up in my face, splattering me and the table cloth. So there was me, a nicely pebble dashed face to match the table, and in disgust I threw my spoon into my bowl (which plopped!) and looked round.

"Oh! Hi... Professor!" I garble, looking up at the wrinkly but stern outline of McGonagall, and immediately blushing profusely. Why do people always have to disturb me when I'm eating??? WHY???

"Miss Weasley. You have something on your face. Did you know?"

Yes of course I knew. It's a fashion statement, all the rage don'tcha know? WHAT IS THAT WOMAN ON?

"Yeah. Erm, yeah," I mutter, wiping my face but only succeeding wiping the gunk into my hair, "Did you want something Professor?"

"Why yes I did. I needed a word with you about your progress in Transfiguration..." Her specs flashed in the light. Or lack of I bet she was adding silently.

"You have fallen behind Miss Weasley. Is there anything the matter? Anything troubling you at all?"

Why yes now you come to mention it. The boy I love is going out with the girl I have come to hate, my best friend is biting my head off over gloopy tasteless gloop, and worst of all I have you staring at me like some over grown meercat with glasses.

"No Professor. There's nothing. I'm just not very good at Transfiguration, that's all. Really!" I heard a voice twitter lamely. How shamed am I to confess it was mine.

"Hmmm." She studied me intently. "Well, be sure to study extra hard now. I expect you to show some sign of improvement over the next week." Wow, lets not get too demanding now, I thought as she dramatically swept away. Jassi handed me a napkin, then added a brush as an afterthought.

"Haven't I got enough to stress over without her on my case?" I mutter quietly as I have a good old wipe (and brush) Jassi sighs sympathetically. At least I hope it was sympathetic. It could have been a sigh at my selfishness or something.

The bells just rung. Must dash to the oh so exciting lesson of Divination. Jassi (weirdly) actually LIKES this hour of crap. Professor Trelawney doesn't like her, because they disagree with what they see in the crystal ball, but I bet its cos Jass is a better Seer than she will ever be. Pip pip xx

9:47am

Sleepy. Soooo sleeeepy. I have only just woken up cos the moment I got in here the perfume-y stuff she lobs on her fire literally knocked me out, and I collapsed on my armchair. I tried to stay awake. Really! Why are you looking at me like that! I did! Er yeah, well anyhoo it looked like it was all set to be an interesting lesson, cos Trelawney wanted us to try this 'visualisation' thingy, which makes a change from a lump of tea leaves and such. She told us all to sit back, relax and close our eyes. She started telling us that we were comfortable, happy, content, our limbs were feeling heavy and to concentrate on the breathing of our chests, up and down, up and down...

I was asleep in seconds. Hey, I can't pass up the chance for another Harry dream in the middle of a lesson! I did have a dream. Though it wasn't a Harry one.

I dreamt Hermione was following me. We were in this weird kind of maze, which kept twisting and turning, getting darker with every corner. She kept calling out, "Stop, Ginny! I need to talk to you! Please stop, just for a minute!" I kept running, my feet flying out literally underneath me, but I couldn't lose her. Her voice grew nearer and nearer, until I screamed out, "Just leave me alone!"

Silence came back to me. I kept running, though something told me she wasn't there. Wheeling round I called out, "Hermione?" My voice echoed back to me. I was no longer in the maze. I was in a field. The sky was iron grey and swam before my eyes, and a chilling wind whispered through my bones. The grass was black and white, blurred as though it were seeping away at the edges. I shivered, not knowing where I was, or what to do.

I saw someone appear at the end of the field. They were so far away they were only a dot, but I made out black hair, tall handsome figure. Harry!

The person turned and faced me. Then somehow, horribly I was standing right in front of him, and to my horror it wasn't Harry at all. I felt my stomach lurch sickeningly as pitiless green eyes regarded me, then thin lips were twisted into a snake like smile.

"Hello Ginny," whispered Tom, "Miss me?"

I woke up with a start, bolt upright. Trelawney was still whittering away, "And now, you see something before you. What is it? Strain your eyes and look..." I sank back down into my seat, staring at the fumy fire. I shuddered involuntarily as Tom's voice whispered to me from my memory. It had seemed so real.

I can't believe he still haunts my dreams, even after all these years. It was one of the worst experiences of my life, thinking I had murdered everyone, not remembering, and the friendly, yet horribly sinister voice of Tom comforting me. Oh god, getting teary eyed. Quick, something else, look at something else!

Hee hee. Jassi must be having a good vision. She's mumbling and making little kissing noises with her tongue. I wonder who she's snogging in her sleep? It'd better bloody well not be Harry. I want Harry dream! Oooh, hang on, Jass is muttering something... going to lean closer to hear better...

Ron? RON???? No way! She must be having a nightmare! No, I heard her wrongly. She said bong, not Ron, yeah, must be into drugs nowdays...

Jassi into DRUGS??? That's about as stupid as... well, Jassi dreaming about Ron. She's gone quiet again, but theres still this little smirk on her face. There is no way she said Ron. It was me in my aftermath dream state hearing unnatural things that would never happen. Yeah.

Oo, looks like Trelawney is 'wakening' everyone. Shes clapping her hands. Come on, they're asleep! Whats that supposed to do??? They are in what is called a Deep Sleep. Why are you looking so confused? DID YOU REALLY THINK WE WERE HAVING A VISUALISATION? Oh, she's gone onto another tactic now, shaking random students on the shoulder. Oh come on, you're a witch for Merlins sake! I'd better help her out...

1:30 pm

Currantly, I am sitting up in bed with a giant mug of cocoa and a sleeping Harry by my side. We made love 10 minutes ago.

Maybe not.

That is where I would truly LOVE to be right now, and the fact that I am in a stone cold room with my knees aching and my muscles seized up, well it just makes me want it all the more. Merlin, I am SO SICK of the smell of polish! I want food! Any food! Even tasteless gloop, I don't care, I'm STARVING.

Want to know why I'm in this sorry state?

Well, when I figured out I'd help out old Trelawney I got a bit, ahem, carried away. But it did the job! Even Colin Creevy jumped about 10 feet in the air when I woke him up, along with everyone else. And he sleeps like the dead (not that I would know from personal experience) so I was quite proud! And how was I to know Trelawney wears 9 inch stilettos under her robes? How was I to know she had such a terrible sense of balance?

Well, this is what happened. All I did was take out my wand very calmly, and waved it about a bit, like you do when uttering an incantation. I was trying to remember a spell Fred taught me y'see, and it was supposed to make a noise like a muggle car horn.

(Note to self: never trust anything Fred tells you again. Even if it was years ago.)

Only it went a tad wrong. Instead of making a car horn noise, it came out as more of an EXPLOSION. Even I was a bit shocked, and this cosmic SHOCKWAVE rolled over everyone, making them all scream and panic and such. Jassi started yelping the castle was falling down, and made to jump out the window (caught her just in the nick of time) whereas Colin took the opposite approach and started howling like a baby, banging his fist on the floor. And I just sat in the middle of it all, frozen, with my arm still dumbly upright with my wand clenched in it.

As for Trelawney, she was the most spectacular of all. First, she uttered this ear splitting SHRIEK like a banshee, and tottered backwards, eyes widening, arms doing some nice windmill action round the head there, and then...

Oh dear. And then...

She fell down her trapdoor.

About 10 sickening bangs and crunches later, everyone fell silent, trembling and hearts racing, at where Trelawney Was. As for me, Merlin, I was totally freaking out. I had killed a teacher! I would be expelled! I would be sent to Azkaban, I would be...

And right in the middle of my panicking, her head pops up out of nowhere, looking like a very startled meercat with her glasses askew and lipstick smudged all over her face, taut, crusty neck stretched right up, this totally shocked look on her face.

And that was when I cracked up.

I couldn't help it! I tried to control myself, but these great, racking giggles kept honking their way out my mouth, making me sound like a constipated ostrich. Then that was it, we were gone, all of us in pieces on the floor, absolutely crying with laughter, tears streaming down my face. Even Jassi's lips were twitching but she kept her cool and went to our very shell shocked Professor, offering her hand. Trust her to be Miss Calm-and-Polite.

HOW, in Merlins name HOW did she survive that drop? Ok, its not THAT far but she surely broke her leg at least! But no, she hobbles up, right as acid rain, looking at us all in hysterics, mouth trembling and eyes brimming with water.

And just to top it all off, she found out it was me. How? It turns out Jessica was awake when I did it and saw me.

And guess what. She blabbed.

Wow, Seamus Finnigan is SO finding out who has a man size crush on him. The second I get out of this DAMNED TROPHY ROOM I am going STRAIGHT to him.

That will show her.

Uh oh. Footsteps outside, gotta go...

Ginny xxx

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I'm back! Miss me? Heh heh. Had a good holiday, in case you was interested. Want to find out how Trelawney escaped the trapdoor attack unscathed? Then please REVIEW!!!