Alex:
Alex felt light headed as she passed the sign. She was back in Newport. She was closer to Marissa than she had been since the night they broke up, but she still felt like she was so far away from her. She still didn't know what she was going to say, and she found herself wishing she'd thought this plan through more carefully. What if the words came out wrong, or not at all? She couldn't just stand there looking like an idiot.
She'd got her old place back. The landlord wasn't too pleased about being woken up at this hour, but it meant money for him. No one had lived there since, which Alex thought was a little strange, but she wasn't complaining. She walked up the steps, fumbling with the keys in the dark. Walking inside, she was surprised by how bare the place looked. She hadn't really paid attention to it when she had left; she'd been too upset to even think about anything other than Marissa.
She brought her stuff inside, setting in down hurriedly. She couldn't waste any more time, she'd been putting off visiting Marissa for long enough. Maybe she should call her first, she thought, but at the same time there was a part of her that wanted to surprise Marissa. She couldn't help wondering, though, if Marissa would want to see her. She might have just wanted to talk to her, and Alex wasn't sure of what to do. This girl had always made her unsure of herself, uncertain about which actions to take.
Her breathing was shallow, her nervousness having become intense as she thought more about the possible outcomes of what she was about to do. Gritting her teeth together, trying to ignore the clenching feeling in her stomach, she walked back outside. She left her car where it was, walking would give her more time to think about what to say. The streets were dark, and Alex finally felt like she didn't need that darkness to comfort her. She was finally trying to fix everything that had gone wrong. She was a little more optimistic now, reminding herself of Marissa's words to her. They made her feel better.
Marissa:
Marissa felt like she was drowning, her thoughts suffocating her. She thought about how dramatic that sounded, and laughed at herself a little. Her expression quickly dropped, though, as she remembered why she'd been having those thoughts in the first place. Alex. She'd still heard nothing from her, and she was beginning to lose hope that she ever would. She couldn't believe she was still holding on to this, to them, after this time. The time they'd spent apart, though, had only served to make her realise that she never wanted them to be apart ever again.
She couldn't have what she wanted without Alex's consent though, and she wasn't sure she would get it. Not after she let Alex walk away like that. She didn't deserve her back. She knew that if she were to speak to someone about this, they'd tell her she should move on, that there would be other people, that maybe it wasn't meant to be. She knew they'd be wasting their time though, because she would never move on from this girl. She knew, she'd tried, and she'd failed. She was still thinking about her now, still desperately clinging to the hope that she'd be able to at least talk to her. Maybe she should call again. She already felt as if she had been rejected, though, and this put her off trying again to reach Alex.
Marissa was startled from her thoughts by a knock on the door. She got up to answer it, wondering who the hell would be knocking on her door at this time of night. She opened the door, to find Alex stood on her doorstep, looking at the floor. All the thoughts she'd been having about what to say had escaped her completely the second she set eyes on Marissa. She looked up at her shyly, and the only reaction Marissa had was to pull her into her arms.
The contact between them made Marissa break down. She'd been bottling her emotion up for too long, and now it just came pouring out. Alex pulled back from her, lifting a hand to gently wipe the tears from Marissa's cheeks. Marissa bit her lip, trying to get her feelings back under control so that she could say everything that she wanted to say. She breathed in deeply.
"I missed you," she said.
"I know the feeling," replied Alex, laughing softly. "I got your message, and I had to see you."
Marissa wrapped her arms around Alex tightly, and whispered in her ear. "I'm glad you came back."
" Really?" asked Alex, biting her lip nervously.
Marissa nodded, sure of herself for the first time since Alex had left.
"I should have made you stay," she said, looking down at the floor. "I never meant to hurt you, Alex."
"That doesn't matter now," said Alex softly.
Marissa looked up, into Alex's eyes.
"Yes, it does," she said. "I was wrong to do that. I just got scared."
"I know."
"And when I tried to talk to you, everything came out wrong. Then you said you were leaving, and I've never been so terrified in my life, but I still couldn't stop you."
"All you had to do was ask, and I wouldn't have gone anywhere."
"I know that now. And I'm so sorry I couldn't see it before."
Alex looked at her, holding the gaze for a long time.
"It really doesn't matter now."
"Are you staying?" asked Marissa, scared to hear the answer. What if she was just visiting?
"I couldn't leave, even if I wanted to," said Alex, smiling at Marissa to let her know that she was the reason that she couldn't leave.
Marissa buried her face in Alex's shoulder, the happiest she'd been in a long time. She said something that Alex couldn't hear, and realising that it was muffled by her position, moved back to look at her. Alex looked at her curiously, as she didn't repeat it, but stood there, looking at Alex for a long time. Marissa took a deep breath, she was finally going to say what she had wanted to say, and nothing would stop her now.
"Alex, I love you," she said, looking deeply into her eyes, and then pulling her gaze away as she finished her words, terrified that she would be rejected now. Alex placed a hand under her chin, tilting her head up so she was looking into her eyes once more. She smiled at her, her happiness apparent in every line of her face.
"I love you too," she said, glad that Marissa had said it first, because she didn't know if she would have been able to. It was Marissa's turn to smile, as Alex's words sank in. She took Alex face between her hands, and said,
"I promise I'll never hurt you again." She meant it, and this time, Alex truly believed what she was hearing.
Marissa moved her hands from Alex' face to place them back around her, tracing patterns across her back. "Can I kiss you?" she whispered, leaning close to Alex.
"You didn't even have to ask," said Alex, before letting their lips meet softly. Marissa pulled Alex closer, until it was hard to tell where one needed and the other began, and they both finally felt like their mistakes were being fixed.