Chapter 2: An Omnipotent Gift

8:30 AM JST

Nerima, Tokyo, Japan

Nerima Park

It was turning out to be another lousy, action-filled day for one of the unluckiest people in the universe, Ranma Saotome. Akane had woken him up from his deep, peaceful slumber with a 5-gallon bucket of ice water and then force fed him a nice homecooked meal. Ranma has just returned from his weekly visit to Dr. Tofu's office, this time to pump the nice, hearty meal from his stomach. Looks like Akane forgot that castor beans are purely for household decoration and NOT to be ingested.

"BLECH! I HATE the taste of that charcoal stuff Tofu has to give me everytime Akane poisons me within an inch of my life! It tastes just as bad as her cooking which basically IS charcoal!" The young martial artist complained. "Nothing... I mean NOTHING worse can happen to me today!"

Ranma should know better than to say the n-word with the w-word. Just then, a lightning bolt struck within two feet of where he was standing knocking him down onto the ground faster than you can say ouch.

"AAAHH! I swear, some god must have it out for me!"

The bolt started to change into a human-like figure... Well it would be human if it wasn't nine feet tall, with enormous wings, bright white toga, a long flowing beard, and had a bright white glow around it's entire body. To put it simply, it looked like your ordinary, run-of-the mill archangel.

"RANMA SAOTOME, YOUR NUMBER HAS COME UP!" The being proclaimed with it's voice like thunder.

"You mean... I'm.. I'm dead! I KNEW IT! I KNEW I'D DIE ONE DAY FROM AKANE'S COOKING!"

"Eh? No, you look pretty lively to me. Oh, you uhh.. Have something black there on your chin." The being pointed to the charcoal on Ranma's chin. Ranma proceeded to wipe his chin.

"But, you said my number was up?"

"Oh! No, no, no. The Annual Pan-Dimensional Bearer of the Great Will of the Macrocosm contest! You're this year's lucky winner. You will be able to control anything and everything in the entire universe for the next week!" The being explained the to extremely confused Ranma.

"Yeah right, like something that good would ever happen to me. My life has been riddled with trouble and danger from the first minute I was born."

The being took out a bright blue orb of energy from within his toga. It shone like the sun and sparkled like a star from the heavens. There was also a tell-tell spinning and what sounded like a muffled scream coming from within the blue ball.

"Touch, and receive your gift of power beyond your greatest expectations."

As Ranma cautiously approached the blue plasma, he stretched out his hand.

"Why not?" He shrugged and proceeded to touch the plasma.

Suddenly, Ranma was paralyzed as the energy rushed into his body like water from a dam. The pain spread from his right arm over his entire body. He felt as if he was being electrocuted. All of his nerve endings were alive and well. The worst part wasn't the pain but the screaming, feminine sounding voice coming from within his head. The blue energy started to take the shape of a electric bolt on the outside aspect of his right forearm with a big, round circle appearing on his palm. The experience was enough to send the martial artist into shock as the recoil sent him through a nearby tree where he promptly left reality and had a one-way ticket to LaLa-land.

"Transfer. Complete" The being said as it's body started to shift yet again. Standing where the being was a tall man with trimmed blonde hair, a trimmed goatee, a pure white business suit that was the complete opposite of his pitch black soul. He was evil incarnate. A man who's soul has been corrupted by the passion of attaining absolute power. No one knows his true name, but every who does know him addresses him as... That Man.

"Hmmmmhmmmmhmmm. You're not going to escape me this time I'z-chan. Now that you're in a male body, your power is extremely limited. Soon, your power will be mine! Muwahahahahahahahaha COUGH, COUGH, COUGH CURSED COUGH GNATS! COUGH COUGH COUGH"

A figure creeped out of the shadows.

"Don't you forget who brought you back from the other side. Remember our plan." The figure chastised That Man.

"Of course, I remember it well. Let us retreat for now so someone doesn't see us."

The unknown person and That Man disappeared into the woods surrounding the park.

8:35 AM JST

ACROSS-HQ

Excel emerged from the tiger trap sporting a brand new Burmese Tiger skin rug, and enough clothes to keep her legal.

"YES! Excel has conquered the beast! The roaring, ferocious, lethal entity that is known as the Burmese Tiger has been put to rest! Using only bare hands and muscle, I beat the king of the cats at it's own game and have succeeed in gaining a brand new room accessory to help bring some life into our small, quaint apartment! Yes and our friends will come over and ask "So, how did you manage to bag such a nice looking specimen" and Excel shall laugh and chortle at the remark and explain to them..."

"Excel-kun, that will be quite enough. It seems that Hyatt-kun has finally come back to life," Hyatt wiped her lips with her handkerchief. "And now you two shall depart to the mystical regions of the Bayankala Mountains in southern China. An anonymous caller has given us a tip on what could be a very effective weapon in the domination of the city. They spoke of cursed springs in which if anyone or thing falls into them, they will turn into the person/animal that had drowned there."

Upon hearing this, Porkchop was squeeling in a frenzy.

"BWEEEEE! BWWEEE BWEE BWE BWEEEE!" (YES! Finally I'm going back to.. Wait. NO! Knowing my luck I'll end up in something like "Spring of the Drowned Girl" and end up being a female pig!)

"Hai! We shall depart for the land of 1 million people and climbing right at once for you Ilpalazzo-sama! C'mon Porkchop!" Excel howled in excitement.

"BWEEEEE!" (NOOOOOOOOO!) Porkchop was grabbed by the hyper blonde and then promptly kicked her in the face and ran away.

"Porkchop! Come baaaaaack! You're my emergency food supply! I need you for dire emergencies!"

"Goodbye Excel-kun." Ilpalazzo grabbed the nearest rope and Excel fell through the pit once again. Except this time, she traveled through the Earth to America, then diagonally to Antarctica, and then backwards in 10 loop-de-loops to the North-Northeast to her destination.

8:38 JST

Bayankala Mountain Region, Southwestern China

In the quiet, peaceful Bayankala Mountains safe inside China lies the Cursed Springs of Jusenkyo. In the forests that outline it's perimeter, animals were happily nibbling away at their food. Until a high-pitched sound pierced their sensitive ears.

"yyyyyYEEEEEAAAAA..."

An open tree stump began to shake violently. The ground started to tremor also. All the animals in the vicinity ran away as fast as they could as Excel rocketed out of the stump screaming into the air. She then did a backflip with a triple salcow in the air and made a perfect landing on top of the stump.

"YOSHA! 10 points! Excel has landed!" She exclaimed for all to hear. "I wonder where Hy-chan is?"

"Right here behind you senpai" The Martian princess appeared out of thin air as always. "Where is here?"

"I don't know Hy-chan. The loop right after India kinda through off my internal GPS guidance system. Maybe getting up on one of those high, unsturdy looking bamboo poles there in the distance will help us locate this wooded area from which we are lost in."

Excel and Hyatt began their long and treacherous hike towards Jusenkyo.

9:30 AM JST

Nerima Park

When Ranma awoke from his deep sleep, all three of the Tendo sisters were standing around him displaying varying degrees of emotions. Kasumi was shocked, Nabiki was commanding and Akane, of course, was angrier than a yellow jacket during a rainstorm with a lawnmower running over it's nest.

"So, what happened this time? A new suitor? A new challenger? Both?" Nabiki questioned as she began to interrogate Ranma. Nabiki has made quite a fortune over his misery in the past and she was not about to pass up another sweet deal.

"Ranma... Speak now or forever hold your peace as you will be dead if YOU DON'T ANSWER MY SISTER'S QUESTION!" The youngest Tendo threatened.

"Eeep. No No No! It's.. It's neither of them!" Ranma began to plead. "I.. I.. I was just walking back to the dojo across the park cause I was still woozy after getting my stomach pumped yet again and... And... and..."

"AND..." All three of the sisters said in unison.

"And... An angel said that I won the lottery for being the Great Will of the Macrocosm and then he pulled out this weird blue ball of energy and I touched it and I got knocked out afterwards! Yeah.. Yeah that's what happened!" Ranma finished his plea while sweating like a pig.

Nabiki and Akane both busted out laughing while Kasumi just stood there saying "Oh dear."

"So, let me get this straight. Some wandering cosmic being bestowed upon you the Great Will of the Macrocosm?" Nabiki asked while still laughing.

"Yeah right! Like anything good ever happens to you!" Akane interjected.

"You're probably right. My life is cursed isn't it. Everything that I do or happens to me always goes wrong!"

"You could always give it a try." Kasumi suggested nonchalantly. "What harm could come from it?"

"Yer right! But, I didn't pay attention to how it's suppose to work." Ranma laughed.

"Ranma no BAKA!" Screamed Akane. The force of the scream was enough to blow Ranma's hair around in a mess.

Kasumi pointed to his right arm. "What about this blue tattoo on your arm?"

"Tattoo? What tattoo?" Ranma questioned Kasumi.

They all stopped and looked at Ranma's right arm.

"This one." She traced it with her index finger. "See, it goes down your arm in into this circle on your palm. Try channeling some of your ki through it and see what happens."

All three of them stared slackjawed at what Kasumi just said.

"Fine, but what do I wish... For.. ! Never gonna be a girl again! Never gonna be a girl again! NEVER GONNA BE A GIRL AGAIN!" Ranma began to dance a most unusual dance. It resembled that of... Having a mad crab and/or lobster in your pants.

"That's it." Akane said. "He's finally gone and lost it."

With eager anticipation, Ranma began to redirect his ki through the blue chakara and focused on his wish. The tattoo began to glow the most brilliant blue that you have ever seen. The light began to engulf his entire body. The light shone as is the sun was down on the Earth. The three sisters had to shield their eyes so that the could just see the outline of the male aquatransexual. When the light began to fade, everything about Ranma looked just the same.

"I, I still feel the same. What gives!"

"Why don't we test it out!" Akane suggested as she grabbed a kid's bucket of water and threw it onto Ranma.

"BLEAH! What gives Akane? Wait a minute. I'm.. I'm still a guy! YES! Never gonna be a girl again! Never gonna be a girl again!" He resumed his weird dancing ritual.

"I... I can't believe this! Who.. Who in their right minds would give Ranma the Great Will of the Macrocosm? And... How.. How did you know about invoking it Kasumi?" Akane inquired.

Kasumi shrugged. "Just a wild guess I guess."

AN: Well, that wraps up Chapter 2 of Ookiina ishi wo obiru! How did Kasumi know about taping into I'z-chan's power? Is there something that she's not telling us about herself? Has she been fooling us the entire time into thinking that she was just a housemaid? What will Ranma wish for next? What is Excel and Hyatt going to find a Jusenkyo? Find out next time!

Oh and of course, thanks goes out to Greyman again as well as Red Priest of the 17th Order on the ADDventure. The following episodes were used in the construction of this chapter: "Winning the Prize" (Episode 18), "Pft. Yeah Right" (Episode 701), "I'mah nevah gonnah beah girl-ah-gain!" (Episode 707) and "Ahem... I repeat... I'mah nevah gonnah beah girl-ah-gain!" (Episode 710)

Until next time.

Ja, ne

-Rai