Chapter 4: Revelations
12:30 PM JST
ACROSS-HQ
In the quiet halls of the secret ACROSS-HQ, it's faithful and determined leader Ilpalazzo was sitting back and relaxing. One of his many favorite pastimes is to sit down and play his ren'ai games, otherwise known as love simulation games. The latest game from Nabesoft had just come out for the Game Boy Advance, Love Hena Again. Ilpalazzo was at a critical point in the game. The entire game rested on the decision he was about to make. To make the wrong choice resulted in the dreaded Bad End.
"Okay. This is it. This selection determines it all. Do I talk to her, ignore her, or kiss her?"
He sweated pools of sweat in nervousness. He was shaking worse than an earthquake. His delicate fingers went to select the option when...
"HAIL! ILPALAZZO! Excel as returned from her treacherous journey to the mystic land of China!"
His most loyal agent Excel busted through the door and startled him. He accidentally selected kiss her.
"PIG! SLAP! How dare you kiss me! I... I'm not ready yet! runs away crying" Went the girl in the game.
BAD END
The leader's eye twitched as he stared at Excel in anger. "This better be good Excel-kun..."
"Oh but it is Ilpalazzo-sama! The trip to China was a mystical ride indeed complete with mind boggling loop-de-loops and rocketing out of tree stumps. After arriving near the springs that we were assigned by you, our dear leader and lord, to investigate the cursed springs in the middle of the mountains of ChinaaaaahhHHHHH!"
Excel's rant was cut short by the appearance of a sudden drop beneath her feet. Evidently, Ilpalazzo thought that she's talked enough and so turned to his calmer agent for the rest of the story.
"Hyatt-kun, what happened on your mission to China?" Ilpalazzo asked while a splash could be heard in the background.
"Well, we found the cursed springs like you said and... senpai fell into one of the springs."
"Interesting, so what did she transform into?"
"RAY WING!" cried a voice from the pit as X/Lina came flying out and landed on her face. "WOW! How did I do that!" She exclaimed.
Hehehehe... I can do much more than just that. Just wait. Lina chuckled.
"Huh? There's that voice again. Ilpalazzo-sama! The curses at the springs are hideous! Look! Excel has been changed into a short, red-haired kid who is not
exquisitely developed as Excel's normal body for you Ilpalazzo-sama! I can't live like this! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!" X/Lina cried.
Get over it! I had to live like this my ENTIRE life! Lina chided Excel.
"NOOOOOO!"
"The guide of the springs said that senpai has been cursed with the form of a famous sorceress called Lina Inverse. From the title of the spring 'Spring of the Drowned Red-Headed, Hot Tempered Sorceress.' I'm guessing that she is a force. COUGH to be... COUGH! GASP!" The blueberry-haired girl collapsed on the floor.
Is she going to be alright?
"Hmmm... Hyatt has fallen ill again. Excel-kun... Excel-kun!"
X/Lina stood up at attention at Ilpalazzo's voice. "Yes Ilpalazzo-sama!"
"Please, finish your report for me."
"Hai! Well, after falling in and transforming into the short, underdeveloped body that you see here. I tried to call on I'z-chan to come and fix everything as I do believe that this is a serious tangent from where the storyline of our great adventure is suppose to be. We waited for 2 minutes and she didn't show! Either something has happened to her or she is busy with Pedro again. Poor Pedro. Also, the guide of the ignorant masses poured hot, boiling water on me while cursed and the curse became reversed! Excel was so ecstatic that she ran through the forest as fast as she could so as to make it back to give her report to you Ilpalazzo-sama!" X/Lina finished the report in breaths.
"I see. Lets have a little experiment shall we?" Ilpalazzo proposed as he walked over to the whistling hot water kettle. "I was going to use this for my ramen but, I think this will prove more interesting." He said as he poured its contents over the red-head.
"ATSUI! AHAHA! Excel is back to normal thanks to the resourcefulness of Ilpalazzo-sama!" She exclaimed as she began to dance around the room.
"It would seem that the cursed springs are true as to what they say. I remember hearing of a group in the Nerima ward who have been affected by it's waters. What worries me more though is the thought that I'z-chan did not appear when you called. Hmmm..." Ilpalazzo said as he watched Excel dance around without listening to an entire word. He took the most appropriate means of grabbing her attention.
"YEEEEEeeeeaaaaahhhhh... SPLASH!" The hyper blonde fell down the shaft yet again.
"When will you ever learn Excel-kun?"
Lina had fallen asleep after listening to Excel drone on. Dropping her down the shaft again gave her a rude awakening.
OKAY! That's it! Enough of watching from the sidelines. I'm taking over now!
She forced herself into control of Excel's body shoving Excel's spirit into the darkness from where she came.
"RAY WING!" A ticked off red-head flew up the shaft and landed gracefully. "What in the HELL was that for!"
"You wasn't paying attention to what I was saying."
"DID THAT MEAN DROPPING ME DOWN INTO THAT PIT? DIEM WING!" X/Lina screamed as she blasted a hurricane force wind from her palms.
The wind blast knocked over Ilpalazzo's throne and blew both him and it clear to the back of the room.
A second later after Lina recessed back into the darkness of Excel's mind, Excel was back in control and wondering what had happened.
"Huh? Wha happened? Excel felt like she blanked out and was in a different dimension or some different place than where her body was at." She said as she was looking around and spotted Ilpalazzo standing up less than happy, glaring at her.
"EXCEL-KUN!" He screamed as he unveiled a heavy-duty army machine gun from under his cloak. "For that attack, you have till the count of 10 to get out of here and don't come back for the rest of the day! 1.. 2.."
"But Ilpalazzo-sama! I don't know what happened! One minute I was dancing around the room about your greatness and for punishment you dropped me down the pit again and then the next minute..."
"10!" The dictator began firing on X/Lina.
"KYAAA! C'mon Hy-chan! Let's get out of here!" She screamed as she grabbed her not yet resuscitated partner and fled from the shower of bullets.
"Sigh, sometimes I wonder what I could accomplish without having Excel around." Ilpalazzo thought out loud as he moved his throne back into position and sat down to play his game again. "Wait a minute... Did she say she didn't know what happened?"
1:15 PM JST
Excel and Hyatt's Apt. Complex
Anyone in the surrounding area could tell you how normal it was to see a certain hyper blonde dragging a blue-haired, pale looking girl in the air through the streets of F City. Never before had they seen a petite red-head dragging the same girl and by the looks of it, she shouldn't be able to in the first place. X/Lina dragged Hyatt towards their apartment in hopes of getting a nice hot shower to reverse the curse.
"Target objective is just over the horizon! We shall be home in just a few minutes Hy-chan so we can relax after a very eventful trip over the ocean and also wait till Ilpalazzo-sama cools down a bit after the little escapade that happened back at HQ after dropping me into the pit and me losing control of my body. OH! I'm really beginning to hate this curse! Not just the lack of Excel's perfect sexy figure but the temper tantrums and... And.. GROWL! Excel can't control her hunger anymore!"
After a long night of putting up with his inept roommates and Kabapu's inane ramblings of justice and protection, Tooru Watanabe wanted nothing more than to just sleep for the rest of the day. He was getting ready to lay his head down on his nice, comfy futon when he heard the shrill screaming of a kid rambling on about nonsense. Think it was Ropponomatsu II again, he threw open his door to scream and saw X/Lina dragging Hyatt.
"Ayasugi-san! Hey kid! Stop that! Don't drag Ayasugi-san like that!" Watanabe screamed as he jumped over the railing and grabbed Hyatt away from X/Lina. "She's not breathing!" Hey kid, why haven't you taken her to the hospital!"
"Number one, I'm not a kid." X/Lina was starting to get a little frustrated. "Two, she'll be fine here in just a few minutes, this happens to her normally. And three, I'm starving!"
"Number one, you look like a kid, you sound like a kid, you are a kid. Two, people don't just jump up and walk away fine after their heart's stopped beating. Three, food can wait! Ayasugi-san is dying! I need to start CPR!" Watanabe stated while scenes of CPR on Hyatt ran through his mind causing him to drool. He leaned over Hyatt's supine body ready to begin opening her airway and mouth-to-mouth when...
"UPPERCUT! That's for calling me a kid! aaaand KICK for trying to rape Hy-chan!" X/Lina's punch landed with precise accuracy on Watanabe's jaw, thrusting him into the air. She jumped up into the air and finished with a roundhouse kick sending him back into his apartment. Hyatt woke up to see X/Lina suspended in the air after the kick.
"How long was I out this time?" She asked while wiping away a trickle of blood from her mouth.
"I'd say 30 minutes or so?"
"Oh, okay senpai." She replied after writing down the time in her death journal.
Once they were inside, X/Lina headed immediately towards the kitchen to find sustenance. She threw open the cupboards faster than you can say starving only to find them barer than Ol Mother Hubbard's.
GAH! No food and I'm starving!
"Ahhhh! Not good! The cupboards are barer than Excel's stomach and the pains are getting worse! I know what to do! Porkchop! Porkchop!"
No response...
"No reaction..." X/Lina pondered about what to do next when Hyatt came by and poured a kettle of hot water over her head. "Ah! As always! You have the right idea Hy-chan! What would I be able to do without you around?" Excel screamed at the top of her lungs.
"I don't know senpai."
"And now, after a long hard day of travel to foreign far away lands under the guidance of Ilpalazzo-sama, it's time for a nice, hot, long, soaking, wrinkling, pruning, boiling, hot, bubble-overflowing bath! Iku yo!" Excel exclaimed as she bolted throwing her clothes off towards the bathroom. The bathroom door closed automatically from the draft of Excel's sprint.
2:00 PM JST
Tendo Dojo
Nerima, Tokyo, Japan
It was only earlier that morning that Ranma had been given control of the Great Will of the Macrocosm. He has already made his greatest wish come true, the removal of his dreaded Jusenkyo curse. As he laid down in slumber, restoring energy he expended earlier from channeling his ki into I'z-chan, he began to think of other wishes he would like to grant to make life more livable. But for now, all he wanted to do was enjoy this time of peace.
"WHAT? DID YOU SAY THAT RANMA HAS CONTROL OVER THE GREAT WILL!"
Peace... In Nerima... Yeah RIGHT!
Ranma cringed as he heard the stampede of footsteps running towards his room. Not to mention the screaming and hollering of the different residents of the Tendo household. The first to bust through the door were the fathers Genma and Soun. The youngest daughters soon followed scolding them about what they were about to do.
"Son! Our biggest dreams can come true now! We can be rich beyond out wildest dreams! We can be masters over every martial art in history! We can both be rid of our curses!" Genma proclaimed.
"The families can finally be united! I'm.. sobbing so... So... Happy! Wahahahaha." Soun cried while chewing on a handkerchief.
"And best of all... The evil master can be banished forever!" Genma and Soun shouted in sync.
"Who said they were going to banish me away forever?" Happosai inquired as he hopped onto the scene. "Ranma my boy, you need to wish that all the young, beautiful girls in the entire world were automatically attracted to me!"
"Will everyone quit making suggestions for him! It's his power, he can do whatever he wants with it!" Akane screamed.
Nabiki looked over at Akane with a quizzical eye. "That's quite a change in your attitude. Do I sense some fear in your voice?"
"Uh... No, it's just that..."
"It's fear. You're afraid he's going to do something to you aren't ya?" Nabiki grinned.
The cacophony of sounds became louder and louder as everyone was yelling at each other until..
"SHUT... UP!"
Amazingly, that didn't come from Ranma or Akane. Everyone turned towards the person in the room who screamed for everyone to be quiet. Their eyes landed on dear, sweet Kasumi. Everyone's jaw automatically went limp at the thought of Kasumi being mad.
"Now, why don't we let him wish for what he wants to wish for."
"Okay, who are you and what have you done with my daughter!" Soun shouted a la demon head.
Kasumi just smiled sweetly. "Sorry, I lost my temper there for a minute. It's still me father."
"Actually, no you're not. Are you Bell-chan?" Ranma awoke to hearing Kasumi screaming and finally put two and two together.
Everyone turned back to Kasumi who was blushing at Ranma's question. They watched as Ranma walked over and tapped her lightly on the nose. In a great flash of brilliant white light, the onlookers watched as Kasumi's body began to transform. Her hair fell out of her ponytail and grew out in long strands of medium-light brown, framing her face. Her eyes changed to the purest blue. A blue diamond appeared on her forehead along with blue triangles on her cheeks under her eyes. Her sundress collapsed and then billowed out into a radiant blue robe with gold trim. Where the person they thought was Kasumi stood was now Belldandy, Norn of the Present.
She opened up her eyes. "How did you figure it out Ranma-kun?" She asked with the softest of voices.
"I think the Will is giving me a sixth sense in being able to sense deities. So, why are you here anyways?"
Nabiki looked at Belldandy with rapt attention. I knew there was something different about Kasumi by the way she was acting.
"Well, you see. With having the powers of the Great Will ingrained in your soul, you will be having various people chasing after you to harness it's powers. And I don't just mean residents of Nerima." Belldandy explained. "More specifically is a girl by the name of Excel Excel from the city of F. She and her partner Hyatt, a Martian princess, are constantly getting maimed, slaughtered, killed out of story context. They require that the Great Will of the Macrocosm be able to revive them should such an event occur."
"So they're just unlucky. So what?" Ranma huffed.
"They will be seeking you soon to recapture the Will and will bring untold chaos to Nerima."
"Nothing new there." Nabiki interjected.
"Uh huh.. Well I'll just deal with it when it comes! As for right now..." Ranma looked into the mass of dojo residents in front of him. "I have other things I want to take care of!" He grinned.
Oh crap. Thought Nabiki and Akane.
"First off you Akane!" He pointed an accusing finger at the youngest Tendo. The crowd split in two leaving her in the middle. "I wish..."
Akane stood there in utter fear. She had never felt anything like this in her entire life except when her Mother died. She was shaking from head to toe. The bright blue aura was starting to surround her body.
"I wish..."
Everyone sweated buckets in anticipation. What was Ranma going to do to Akane? She was the most violent one towards him which meant he could have pent up anger against her. Was he going to show mercy or had the power made him drunk in the head, clouding reasonable thought. They braced themselves for the worst.
"I WISH YOU HAD BETTER COOKING SKILLS!"
Everyone else except Belldandy who had her fingers up to her mouth giggling facefaulted.
"IS THAT ALL? YOU HAD ME SO WORRIED I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO KILL ME OR WORSE!" Akane screamed in anger as she ran towards him full speed.
"Nnnow wait a minute Akane! I did that so that everyone could CLANG!"
Ranma was out cold from Akane's attack.
"Well, that's different." Nabiki said.
"What do you mean? He was just being a jerk as always!" Akane retorted.
"No, the frying pan technique there." She replied while pointing to Akane's T-FAL skillet which now had a Ranma-shaped dent in the bottom of it. "Figures Saotome would choose something based on martial arts."
"YAY! AKANE CAN FINALLY COOK!" Soun, Genma and Happosai both rejoiced in jubilee. They stopped celebrating when Akane turned towards them.
"Oh... CAN IT!"
AN: Yay! The fourth installment! I'm soooooo sorry about the long delay! A serious case of writer's block stopped me dead in my tracks as school was starting and getting in gear. To make up for it. The next chapter will be a fun omake chapter... or two... depends! XD.
Thanks goes out to Greyman and Red Priest of the 17th Order for writing "Akane Can Cook?" (Episode 722) and "Kasumi is a Norn?" (Episode 816) on the Anime ADDventure )
Until later... ja, ne
-Rai