Inside ACROSS-HQ, Koushi Rikudo stands to the side with a whistle and in sweatpants.

"ALRIGHT! ICH NI SAN GO! Give me an O!"

Kasumi cartwheels out of nowhere in a cheerleader uniform. "O!"

"Give me an M!"

Nabiki jumps onto the scene counting money. "M!"

"Give me an A!"

Akane appears swinging Mallet-sama. "A!"

"Give me a K!"

Lina appears in the idol uniform from NEXT "K! And why the hell am I wearing this uniform again?"

"Give me an E!"

Hyat appears vomiting blood. "e!" then passes out.

"What does that SPELL?"

Excel shouts at the top of her lungs while doing a split. "OH-EM-AY-KAY-EE!"

Rikudo-sensei turns towards Ilpalazzo and nods. Ilpalazzo yanks on the rope that says "If Excel says something stupid." and she falls down the mine shaft yet again.

"Ahem! What does that SPELL?"

All four girls scream at once. "OMAKE!" as Hyatt goes "ke..."

The title screen appears

KOUSHI RIKUDO PROUDLY PRESENTS:

OOKIINA ISHI WO OBIRU

(WITH GREAT WILL...)

AN EXCEL SAGA/RANMA 1/2/SLAYERS CROSS-OVER!

"That is correct!" Rikudo-sensei compliments them on a good job as he turns to stamp over the screen.

OMAKE!

1. What REALLY Happened to Menchi.

Excel and Hyatt were returning to the city of F after yet another failed mission. Objective: Discover the famed Sailor Senshi of Juuban identities. Mission Status: Not Good. They were able to track the senshi down, however, they did not realize that if spotted they would have to pay the penalty. They spent the next 3 days in the Juuban General Hospital burn unit recovering from 1st and 2nd degree burns, electrical burns, and... Hypothermia. Now, in treatment of burns, they get all their fluids IV so nothing P.O. which meant, they were starting to get a bit hungry.

"Excel feels as if there is a knot in her stomach and it is growing, trying to consume what organs are in her body to satisfy it's hunger!" Excel cried out in pain clutching her stomach. "We need to find food soon Hy-chan! It has been over four days since we've eaten last! Not to mention that we are in need of proper nutrition to help heal the burns that we obtained from discovering who Sailor Mars really is."

"But senpai, we don't have any more money that Ilpalazzo-sama had left with us for the trip. Most of it went into our medical expenses."

"IIYADAA!" Excel screamed with tears falling like waterfalls from her emerald eyes. "Excel doesn't want to die like this from a natural urge to consume food when all the body's resources have been utilized! There is still so much I have yet do to for Ilpalazzo-sama in his conquest of the city of F! And you Hy-chan and looking paler than usual. Have the rumblings of your sickly stomach finally broken down your will to perservere?"

"Hai senpai."

Menchi just walked past them both barking... meowing... barkowing lightly

Excel's head perked up at the sight and sound of her 'Emergency Food Supply'.

"Meeeennnchiiiii" She called out with a demented face. Food dishes appeared in her mind. All prepared from Menchi. Excel crawled over to the white dog with drool hanging out of her mouth. Menchi began to shake in fear as she could sense that her end was finally near.

"Excelu! Don't eat dear Menchi!" A voice cried out.

"Huh?" Excel turned around to see Good Excel standing behind her."I thought you were in jail after killing Bad Excel?"

"My lawyer Cocchran Excel got me off the hook. But Et-chan! Don't consume poor Menchi. She has been by your side everyday since you found her wasting away at that construction site. You've nurtured her for months and have resisted eating her many times before."

"You're right... I can never eat Menchi! She's too precious to me." Excel cried.

"Now Et-chan, go and find..." Good Excel was interrupted by a tap on the back. She turned around to see the last person she ever wanted to see. "Bbbbbbad Excel, h..H.. How are ya doing?" Behind her stood her archnemesis Bad Excel whom she shot with a pistol and believed to be dead.

"Doin' good. You however, aren't goin' to be!" The devilish Excel pulled out a humongous, flaming pitchfork from behind her back.

"Eeep. Now jest wait a minute! Can't ya take a joke! I was just kiddin' when I shot ya!" The angelic Excel replied shaking in fear and backing away at a rapid rate.

"Nah. Now.. DIE!" Bad Excel lunged at Good Excel and the both started fighting in a large dust cloud of debris. They moved throughout the area knocking over trees and such. They both disappeared over the horizon.

Excel and Hyatt were stunned at the sudden turn of events and just stared. They were brought back to reality when both of their stomachs growled craving sustenance.

"AHH! That's it. Excel can't take it no more! MENNNNCHII!" The blonde jumped at the innocent dog that was just standing there still as a board and proceeded to prepare Menchi Cutlets with Apple Sauce.

Excel and Hyatt then proceeded to eat their meal.

"Yum Yum Yum! Excel is now ready to get back to Ilpalazzo-sama and report her findings on her mission!"

"Who would have thought that Menchi tasted a lot like Spam? Did you senpai?"

Juuban, Minatou-ku, Tokyo, Japan

Menchi walked down the streets of Juuban with her cherubs above her playing Ludwig van Beethoven's "Ode to Joy". Finally! She had escaped Excel's clutches and repeated attempts to eat her! She was free! She was alive! She was... Hungry. Menchi, like her previous owner, had only eaten enough to survive during her stay. The effects of malnutrition were finally starting to affect her frail body. She collapsed in the middle of the street.

"Oh come on back! I swear I won't use the thermometer again!" A girl's voice cried out for her cat who was running ahead of her in fear.

A pure white cat with a golden crescent moon on his forehead ran down the street and found Menchi laying there shivering in hunger. "Eep. Dog! But this one is near dead! Hey! Over here!"

A 5' 6", golden-blonde haired girl with a red bow in her hair, with blue eyes stood there in a white nurse's uniform complete with hat.

"Artemis! There you are! Now come back here and... That poor dog it looks like it's going to die! I bet it's starving! C'mon Artemis lets go home and give this poor dog some food and water." She knelt down and picked up Menchi and threw her over her shoulders.

"Now wait a minute Mina! I never agreed to live with a dog! I hate dogs and dogs hate me!"

Menchi just laid there on Mina's shoulder relaxing on her soft blonde hair.

"We need to take this dog back and give it a thorough check-up also! Nurse Minako Aino is on the case!" Mina chirped cheerfully as she skipped away holding Menchi.

Suddenly, Menchi had that sense of impending doom she felt when she was around Excel.

Well, better the dog than me. Thought Artemis as he followed Mina back home.

AN: OO;; Poor Menchi... She's been found by Nurse Mina! THE HORROR! XD Oh, and the reason for the redneck dialect with Good and Bad Excel. When Good Excel appears, she uses formal speech. Bad Excel however uses Kansai dialect which is similar to redneck. After she appears, Good Excel switches over to it also. It's all in the first episode.

Ja, ne

-Rai