More Things You'll Never Hear/See in One Piece.
Yes, there's a sequel now. The first one wasn't actually a dub bash, except for the Zolo part, but this one will have a bit more dub-bashing humor.
Disclaimer: I don't watch the news much, so here's the deal: Just in case someone murdered Eiichiro Oda and took over the One Piece business, that was not me. Please review.
The sun was rising, and a rooster crowed. As Zoro(Zolo) was walking out of the cabin, he yawned and thought Wait a minute, where did that rooster come from? He shrugged and walked over to the kitchen. Opening the refridgerator door, he pulled out a bottle of soymilk and drank some of it(ACK! soymilk!). As he then walked back out onto the deck, he looked out towards the ocean and said, "You know what, I'm going to stop being such a selfish punk and go visit Kuina, who did not fall down the stairs of the dojo and die, but was actually beaten up by several adult students and became permanently hospitalized. It was a shameful thing for those adults to do as well, disobeying the student creed that sensei taught.
Luffy walked out of the cabin wearing glasses, with Chopper and Usopp behind him. "So, are we ready?" asked Zoro.
"Yup," said Luffy. "Robin has Nami trapped with her Devil Fruit powers."
"All right," said Chopper. "Everyone man your station."
Zoro pressed and held a button next to the kitchen door, while Luffy stretched out his arm towards the top of the mast and pressed the button there, Usopp lifted a plank and pressed the button under it, and Chopper pressed the button next to a closet. Then there was a clicking sound, and they all released their button while Chopper opened the closet door.
"Good morning, Sanji!"
This was a special hi-tech security method developed by Luffy so Nami couldn't creep up on Sanji during the night. At first, Luffy just thought of having Sanji drift in an empty lifeboat tied to the Going Choppy (Yes, that's what they renamed their ship), until Sanji brought up the possibility of Nami swimming to the boat in a... disturbing attire (Or lack of attire, whatever you want to call it). So, their glorious captain Chopper made the button idea, and the tech-expert Luffy wired the ship.
As Sanji walked out of the closet, he said, "Geez, it gets stuffy in that closet. There needs to be a fan in there."
"You want Nami in there?" asked Usopp.
"No, not that kind of fan." replied Sanji.
"Oh," said Usopp, then he started crying and dropped down to his knees. "I'm so sorry for misunderstanding! I have eternally ashamed myself! I am not worthy of being in this crew!"
Chopper laid the palm of his hoof on Usopp's head. "You are forgiven."
Slowly, Usopp stood back up as his tears vanished. His eyes were wide and his jaw hang open. He was silent.
"Well, that's over now." said Sanji, as he took out a box of small cigar-shaped granola sticks (Cooked by Luffy) and stuck one in his mouth, then lit it with a match (It was a hi-tech Listerene granola stick, and lighting it sped up the chemical reactions that clean the mouth)
Then Robin walked out of the cabin.
"Ahh! A woman!" yelled Sanji. He hid behind Luffy.
"Okay, I stuck with my part of the button-plan. I get 300 belli out of the treasury, right?" spoke Robin.
"Sure," replied Chopper.
"Thank you." answered Robin, and Nami suddenly ran out from the cabin. "SANJI-KUN!"
"AAAAHHHHHHH!" yelled Sanji. Then he ran and added, "Rapist!"
"Robin! You're EVIL!" Luffy spoke angrily. "I never trusted you in the first place!"
"Robin! How could you!" Zoro spoke soberly. "I've always trusted you, ever since you joined this crew!"
"Hey!" shouted Usopp, after finally snapping out of his awed expression. "There's another pirate ship headed in this direction!"
"OH NO!" Luffy, Zoro, and Robin all shouted at once, then they all started screaming and running around.
Chopper, however, held his stance.
"Don't worry, everyone!" he said. "I'll destroy it!"
Instantly, the crew stopped screaming and running (Well actually, Nami was still chasing Sanji) and started cheering. "YAYYYYY! Chopper!" they yelled.
"Wing point!" Suddenly, Choppers antlers grew and softened into brown wings, while the rest of his body stayed the same. He flew up into the air towards the other ship and stopped right in front of it. "Scope!" He then put his hooves together into the shape of a diamond.
Seeing this, Zoro started shouting, "A beam! He's going to shoot a beam!"
"What do you mean he's going to shoot a beam?" said Luffy. "That's utter nonsense."
"He's going to shoot a beam! A BEAM! A BEAM! A BEAM!"
"I must say, Zoro, you are being totally ridiculous."
"A BEAM! A BEAM! A BEAM! A BEAM!"
The pirate ship hadn't started to attack yet, but Chopper had found its weakness and prepared a special attack...
"Kokutei... STELLA!"
Afterwards...
Luffy: You see? Chopper shot a giant star-shaped disc of light that teleported all the ship's treasure onto ours, while the rest of the ship was burnt to ashes. Seriously, I have no clue where you got this stupid "beam" idea.
Zoro: I was wrong not to believe you.
Usopp: What does "stella" mean?
Chopper: It is the Italian word for "star"
Usopp: I am sorry that I did not already know that! I have eternally ashamed myself!
Chopper: You are forgiven.
Robin: Ah, I have all this treasure...
Sanji: Rapist!
Nami: Oh, Sanji, I love your dub voice...
Kanthia: Dubbies are cool!
Straw Hat Crew: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!
And that, my friends, is another story you'll never hear in One Piece. I don't know if I can think of another chapter though, and I hope Kanthia doesn't mind me using her, heh heh(That was someone else's idea, too).