Chapter Three

Author's Note: eep! So terribly sorry about the delay and the lack of acknowledgements, but I really am posting this on the run. Likewise, the next chapter will be a few days, so, well, sorry, again. (And go see Serenity at the movies, it comes out today)

'House!'

He shook himself, and firmly lowered his gaze. 'Other symptoms. Right.' He thought for a moment, then frowned, as though listening to silent voices. Putting the pen down, he picked up his cane from where leaned against the wall, and slowly hobbled back over to the bench. Casting around for a moment, through the miscellaneous junk that tended to gather there, he picked up a syringe.

Before either Chase or Cameron could stop him, or even say anything, he stabbed himself through the palm. Cameron let out a short scream in spite of herself, and Chase went pale with shock. House just studied his hand thoughtfully, turning it from side to side; the needle, having gone all the way through, was now embedded firmly. A small trickle of blood ran down his palm.

'Jeez House!' Yelled Chase, regaining his voice, looking slightly sick.

'No pain,' commented House, turning serenely to look at his very shocked prodigies. He rapped gently on his thigh with the knuckles of his other hand in demonstration. 'I skipped my morning dose of Vicodin, but it doesn't hurt.'

Cameron ignored his calm, slightly vague tone and had already dashed out, heading for one of the wards to pick up some dressings. She returned a moment later, approaching him warily like he was a rabid dog. He noticed she'd also grown a halo.

'Shiny,' he commented as she carefully took him by the wrist and led him to the table to sit him down. House sat quietly as she slid the needle out and pressed a pad over the top of the wound until it stopped bleeding. The bandages had tiger stripes on them.

Chase had stood and written the words "no pain" on the whiteboard underneath "hallucinations."

'Anything else?' He asked carefully, standing there. House looked up at him and the whiteboard, contemplating. 'Not really. If it helps, the hallucinations seem to be mostly relating to the Christian religion.'

'Kangaroo ears are Christian?'

'Cameron's got angel wings. Cuddy was the devil. Wilson… well, fake Wilson anyway, was a burning bush, or possibly a phoenix.'

'Angel wings?' Muttered Cameron.

'And a halo,' House told her with a snigger as she finished wrapping up his hand.

'Well, we can do a PET or an MRI; see if that shows anything. It could be a brain tumour.'

'Pretty sudden and specific for a brain tumour. Unless… how long have you been seeing things?' Cameron asked House carefully. He found himself amused by her sudden assumption of a bedside manner now he was one of the sickly.

'All my life,' he grinned. Thinking about it, Chase wrote something else on the whiteboard. House read it, raising an eyebrow.

'Aw, come on now. I'm always in a good mood Bob. What's so "unusual" about it?'

'You're normally a miserable, misanthropic old arsehole. Good moods of yours extend to more humour in your insults. This is definitely unusual.'

Cameron nodded in agreement. House attempted to look offended, but didn't quite manage it.

'Not sure I want this to stop then. I mean, perfect pain control, general endorphin high, not to mention the entertainment value of all the…birdies…' He was staring at the ceiling again.

'I'm sure it's wonderful, but we have no idea what it is, and it's most likely doing you damage. House! Are you even listening?'

'Do I normally?' Replied House, still staring at the swirl of fluttering wings that occupied the upper half of the room in the place of the stars.

'No, but that's not the point.'

'Well run the scans or whatever then. Take some blood; check me for anything you think is relevant. And then…' He trailed off again, hopelessly distracted. Cameron sighed and shared yet another look with Chase.

'House. House, listen to me.'

'Yeah, yeah, I am.' He finally tore his gaze back down to the two other doctors in the room. They were looking at him strangely. 'What is it now?' He sighed with mock annoyance.

'House, wake up.'

Neither of them had spoken, but there was overwhelming concern in their eyes. House stood, picking up his cane with his unbandaged right hand and moving back over to the bench, feeling slightly vulnerable sitting.

'Interesting. Here's a philosophical question for you. Which reality is the real reality?'

'Great. Now's just the time for Plato,' commented Chase dryly, moving towards the phone.

'I may be hallucinating, but that doesn't actually lobotomise me. Step away from the phone. I'm more trouble than I'm worth for the psych department.' House gave Chase a pointed look, which quickly dulled any protest. Its effect was slightly negated when he suddenly sliced the cane through the air, shaking his head violently. 'Nonono. Shut up. Yes I hear you, now shut up.'

'Whoa, House, you're all right, just calm down.' Cameron spoke as though soothing a frightened animal, edging towards House with a calming manner. He paused his actions, opening eyes that were now slightly haunted to look at her. There was suddenly something frightened in his gaze, something begging for help.

'Come on House, wake up.'

'I've got this all backwards, I think perhaps,' he said, slight mania to his tone.

'What's backwards?' Asked Cameron, just keeping him talking in an attempt to keep him grounded. Chase was looking on uselessly, unable to do anything but appreciate Cameron's seemingly magic touch.

'I was thinking you were the only real thing…'

'I am real House. Chase is real. We're going to call the psych ward OK, and get you into a bed so you can lie down.'

House laughed, loudly and with an edge of insanity. Then his posture snapped back straight, and he looked at her with that sideways tilt to his head. He spoke in a tone that was abruptly in control, back to the House that was always three jumps and another universe ahead.

'Nice. Now would be the time where I crack it and pull out a firearm, no? I'm fine, Dr. Cameron. Better than fine. I've just worked out why wings exactly. Nice having you here. I must get going though. Cuddy's calling.'

'House, no-' but she was cut off as House opened his eyes, the ceiling rolling into view, with a concerned face hovering between it and him.

'That was interesting,' he said. 'Please tell me you're not an angel though. I thought they were meant to be pure and plastic surgery free.' Cuddy regarded him with a bemused look, which he returned innocently.

To be continued…