A Painful Truth
"Seth! Is your father in?"
"Dr Kim…." Seth blinked the sleep out of his eyes and ruminated briefly over the fact that he had just greeted his high school principal in his pajamas.
"Your father, Seth? Is he at home?" Dr Kim spoke more urgently this time, edging past her student. Her other student, the one she didn't spend hours in her office defending.
Seth took a deep breath as Dr Kim's words permeated his sleep-fogged mind. This could not be good. Not good for Ryan anyhow.
"Um, yes. He's in the kitchen. If you'd like to just wait here, I'll go call him." Seth waved Dr Kim towards a chair in the hallway and then raced towards the kitchen.
He found his father in mid schmear, hair dishevelled, unshaven and also still in his pajamas
"Dad?" Sandy glanced up from his bagel, noting the sound of anxiety in his son's voice.
"What is it?" His eyebrows furrowed as he took in Seth's troubled face.
"Uh, Dr Kim's in the hall, she'd like to see you."
"Dr Kim's here? In the house?"
"Yes." Seth spoke patiently, as if addressing a very young child.
Sandy looked confused and then glanced down at his robe blankly.
"But I'm not dressed. Did she say why she was here?"
Seth waved his hands in the air with a gesture of "I'll tell you but I'd really rather not". Where the hell was Ryan? This was his mess. He should be here to face the Wrath of the Sandy, not him.
"I'm guessing it has something to do with last night…"
"Last night? What happened last night? You guys were asleep when I got back from Lake Arrowhead."
"Uh, well, Ryan slugged the Dean…" There was no pretty way to put it.
Sandy was incredulous.
"Ryan punched Dr Kim?"
Seth rolled his eyes, irritated.
"No Dad, the other Dean. The new guy, Dean Hess. You know, tall, blond, mean looking? Hates Ryan and Marissa with a passion?"
Sandy ran his hand through his hair wearily, his face bemused. It suddenly struck Seth that his father looked really old. Was that graying hair at his temples? This summer had been hard on them all but it was the first time Seth had really noticed the toll it had obviously taken on his father. It left him uneasy.
"Go tell Ryan to get his ass in here right away."
Seth nodded wordlessly and turned towards the pool house.
"Sandy!"
"Dr Kim, I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting you, obviously!" Sandy indicated his state of dress as he shook the Principal's hand.
"No, of course. I apologize for calling unannounced, but I felt this couldn't wait."
"No, absolutely. I understand. I hadn't seen either of the boys until just now, when Seth came in to the kitchen. I'm afraid I only know what he's just told me. Ryan will be here as soon as he's dressed."
Dr Kim nodded and followed Sandy into the family room.
Once both adults were seated, Sandy gave Dr Kim a levelled look.
"So. What exactly happened last night?"
Dr Kim sighed, her hands held tightly in her lap.
"That's what I'd like to know, Sandy. All I do know is that a furious Jack Hess called me at home late last night to insist that Ryan not be allowed back into school. I had an early meeting with him this morning. I have to tell you Sandy, he's already spoken to several of the heavyweights on the School Board. They're backing him all the way in his demand for Ryan to be expelled."
"So, I'm definitely getting kicked out?"
Sandy and Dr Kim turned to see Ryan leaning against the doorframe, hands thrust in his jeans pocket, his face pale and drawn, his eyes clouded. Sandy paused to scan his foster son's face. Ryan shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. Sandy always had a way of conjuring up all his disappointment and sense of betrayal in just a look. Ryan had seen it before. With Oliver. With Theresa. With Trey. With all of Ryan's monumental screw-ups. And yet he always moved on. Forgave. Looked to the future. Maybe he wouldn't do that anymore. Maybe this was the point where Sandy said enough was enough. Where he finally gave up on him.
"Get yourself over here and sit down."
Ryan swallowed and moved to sit down, positioning himself opposite Dr Kim and avoiding eye contact with both adults.
"So, are you going to tell us what the hell happened last night?"
Ryan hung his head, his voice almost inaudible as he answered.
"He had his hands on Marissa…"
Dr Kim shot a worried glance at Sandy.
"Dean Hess admitted that he had touched Marissa, but Ryan, he wasn't hurting her surely?"
Ryan shrugged, muttering under his breath. "Sounded like it to me…"
"Ryan," Dr Kim spoke sharply, "this is important. Did you really think that he was hurting her?"
Ryan lifted his head and glowered at the woman in front of him, the battle with his temper already lost.
"Of course I thought he was hurting her. Why the hell would I have hit him otherwise? I'm not completely stupid, you know. I don't just go around punching people for no reason, even though you all seem to think that I do."
"Ryan, don't speak to Dr Kim like that. And whatever the reason, using your fists is not the answer. I would have thought you above all people would have learnt that lesson by now." Sandy's voice rose in irritation.
Ryan glanced nervously at him, biting his lip in an effort to keep it from trembling.
"Look, I hit him, I'm not proud of it. I should have….I don't know…done something else,"
He was floundering; searching for a clue as to what he could have done differently that would sound acceptable to these people. He stared hopelessly at them, defeated, and shrugged his shoulders.
"But… what the hell was I supposed to do? Let him continue hurting her?"
Dr Kim leant forward in her seat to make better eye contact with her student. Ryan glared at her defiantly before shifting his eyes away. She spoke gently.
"Ryan, what Dean Hess did was.." She searched for suitable words, aware that she was in the presence of a Harbor parent as well as a lawyer. Furious though she was with Jack Hess for his own part in this fiasco, she needed to remain professional and not undermine his position in front of a student.
"His behavior was ill advised. I'm sure it was only his intention to remove Marissa from the carnival and not to hurt her. You must admit that taking her there was inflammatory to say the least."
"I didn't really think about it, it's not like it was on school property! Besides, she was leaving anyway. He didn't need to touch her." Ryan scowled and folded his arms mutinously.
"And touching her was wrong Ryan, and trust me," interrupted Sandy, "once Julie hears about this, Dean Hess will need a very good lawyer if he's to keep his teaching position."
Dr Kim flushed at Sandy's words. After all the trouble with the parents over the summer, this was one thing the school, and she, didn't need.
Sandy continued. "But Ryan, what you did was still incredibly stupid. I get why you did it. You care about Marissa, she's had a tough time, you want to look out for her. I get it. But you need to think about yourself. And right now, your chance of graduating from Harbor looks pretty damn slim."
Ryan refused to look Sandy in the eye but stayed silent. Sandy threw his body back against the couch in frustration.
"You'd better leave us and go do some studying. Try and keep from falling behind while we see what, if anything, can be done to keep you in school."
"So," he began slowly once Ryan was safely out of earshot, " what are his chances of getting back into Harbor?"
The Principal shrugged her shoulders resignedly.
"Sandy, there are some very powerful people on the Board, you know that. They just don't want what they perceive as a street thug in their school…"
Dr Kim waved her hand as Sandy started to object.
"Now, now, Sandy I'm not saying Ryan's a street thug, but you must see it from their point of view. First there was Oliver, and you don't know how hard I had to fight that one, and then him dropping out of school for a pregnant girlfriend, not to mention all the trouble this summer. Punching Hess is just the final straw as far as they are concerned."
She looked apologetic as Sandy shook his head wearily.
"Look Sandy, I'm very fond of Ryan. He's a good student most of the time. He's worked hard and he's not wasted the opportunity you've given him. I'll do my best, I promise. But I'm very much afraid that my best may not be good enough this time."
Sandy's face fell. Ryan out of school was not good at all. He hadn't forgotten the last time when Ryan had been suspended. Broody didn't even begin to describe it. He thought for a moment and tried a different approach. Attack instead of defense sometimes worked.
"You know, I meant what I said before, Dr Kim. I fully intend to inform Julie Cooper of everything that went on last night. I know Ryan was in the wrong, but if I can find any justification for his actions then I will."
Dr Kim nodded. "I know,Sandy. And off the record, I don't know what Jack Hess was thinking. If Julie chooses to make an issue of it, this could ruin his career. But I'm still not sure that will help Ryan."
"Julie Cooper NOT make an issue of it? If you think she'll take this lying down, Dr. Kim, then you don't know her very well. Marissa may not be at Harbor any longer but Julie will not sit by and let her daughter be abused by one of its teachers."
"Sandy, come on. Dean Hess can hardly be accused of abuse…"
Sandy looked at the woman sitting indignantly in front of him. His face grew cold.
"I know Ryan isn't perfect. I know he has this reputation for acting first, thinking later. But he was right when he said he does NOT go around attacking people for no reason."
Dr Kim hesitated. She knew Sandy would do anything to protect his foster son. She knew the Cohens loved him as if he was one of their own. She knew that they wanted him to be able to put his old life behind him and focus on the new. But she also saw that in their desire to protect him and stand up for him and make everything all right, that they were avoiding confronting the real issue. An issue that needed to be addressed in her opinion. And she'd been wondering for a long time how she could broach this subject with Sandy, without appearing to be criticising.
"Sandy, look. Do you not think that Ryan's reaction to Dean Hess could somehow have been triggered by what happened to Marissa with his brother? You know as well as I do, that his attachment to Marissa is a complicated one. I just feel that maybe Ryan isn't handling things well because he hasn't had an opportunity to resolve his feelings about what happened when he WASN'T there to help her." Dr Kim watched as Sandy tossed over her words in his head. Sensing she may have got through to him, she pressed on.
"And you know, that's just part of it, Sandy. If you don't get Ryan some help soon, what's going to happen to him when he's left home, when he's out on his own? When you're all not around to sort out whatever messes he gets himself into?"
Sandy's head shot up. "We'll always be there for him, wherever he is!"
Dr Kim shook her head.
"I know that, Sandy, but that's not what I mean. How long are you going to let him get away with behavior like this?" Dr Kim stopped and drew a breath before she spoke the harshest of words.
"Telling him over and over again not to sort things out with his fists clearly isn't working. He even told you himself! He doesn't know what he should have done differently. He needs to learn how to deal appropriately with his anger. And if you don't get him some help soon, then you're failing in your duty as his guardian."
Sandy sat stunned for a moment. He lifted his hands to his face and rubbed his fingers over his eyes in exhaustion. The last two years raced through his head in fractured glimpses. Ryan and Luke. Ryan and the kid in Juvie. Ryan and Oliver. Ryan and Eddie. Ryan and anyone who messed with people he cared about. Ryan and Trey. Ryan and Trey and Marissa. An explosive combination if ever there was one. And he knew she was right. Sandy would be failing him. He had failed him.
He sat up straight and faced Dr Kim with resolve and gratitude. He wouldn't fail him again.
The End