10

There's a single clap from behind jarring both Ronon and Jax out of their stare down. "Hey, what are you kids still doing up?" Colonel Sheppard's boisterous voice is full of humor.

Jax's breath catches as her eyes dart to Sheppard then drop to the floor. Her face softens instantly. "Nothing, Colonel," she says quietly, turning away. "Mr. Dex was just leaving."

Ronon glances at Sheppard, who raises his brows in question. Ronon looks back at Jax once more. She's already started cleaning up the area, keeping herself busy as to not have to look at either of them. Ronon stomps passed Sheppard out into the empty, dark mess hall and the Colonel quickly follows.

"What the hell did I walk in on? She looked ready to kill you."

Ronon heads for the exit, forcing Sheppard to keep his pace. "Perhaps."

"Why?"

"Misunderstanding. Doesn't matter. You're correct…she's not who she claims. Mission a success."

"Hey," Sheppard jogs to keep up. "That's not the only reason you did this…is it?"

"No," Ronon grumbles, feeling a different kind of anger well within. "My hair feels great." He shouldn't care about her in the least. It's perfectly clear she's not interested in him and he's fine with that. She's Jax. A pain in his ass, one he can live without. And yet…

He wants to see that rage gone. See that other soul emerge full force to float on more music. He wants to see her smile.

Like Nally.

Out in the corridor near the transporter, Sheppard says, "Stop." Ronon does and slowly turns to face him. The Colonel does not look happy. "I thought you liked this girl. If there's gonna be a problem…I want it over, now."

Ronon smirks, baring his teeth. "You're not very observant for a military man, Sheppard."

His eyes widen and his brows shoot up. "What?"

"There is nothing to be over. It doesn't matter if I like her…if McKay likes her…if every man on every planet everywhere likes her. She's taken." He grimaces. "By someone who doesn't even see her."

Sheppard's confusion is evident. "Who?"

Ronon crosses his arms. "Doesn't matter. I think she likes it that way."

Sheppard's brows crease and he raises a finger. "She likes some guy who doesn't like her and she likes that?"

"Yes."

Sheppard makes many faces in succession, he looks like he wants to say something but words die on his moving lips.

A loud crash from the mess hall jars both of them. Sheppard glances at Ronon then both rush back to the mess. The lights come on as soon as the Colonel enters and they see Jax lying face down on the floor among several chairs that have fallen from a table. Sheppard kneels by her side with Ronon on the other a moment later. The Colonel rolls her over. She's unconscious; her face glistening with sweat.

Sheppard touches her face and neck with the back of his hand. "She's burning up." He clicks his headset. "Beckett, this is Sheppard. Beckett! Medical emergency in the mess hall."

Dr. Beckett arrives before his team, obviously just roused out of bed. Ronon moves aside so the doctor can check his patient. He lifts one eyelid and flashes a light then does the same to the other.

"She's got a fever," Sheppard says.

The doctor touches her face the same way Sheppard did. "Aye," Dr. Beckett unzips the front of her uniform, exposing the same top Ronon saw earlier, drenched in sweat. "That she does."

Ronon leans in. "What's wrong with her?"

"Could be anything," Beckett says, pressing an instrument to her chest. After a moment, he says, "Tachycardia."

"That's bad," Sheppard says catching Beckett's gaze.

"It's not good." Beckett listens again. "Shallow breathing."

Two nurses rush in maneuvering a gurney. Sheppard lifts Jax onto the bed and to everyone's surprise, she opens her eyes. "Jax," Sheppard starts. "You okay?"

One nurse presses something into her ear and it beeps. "Hundred–two point six."

"Start a saline drip," Beckett says. One of the nurses carefully extracts Jax's left arm from the uniform and swabs the inside.

Jax wearily looks around, trying to sit up, but she can't even seem to lift her head. Her eyes roll until they lock onto Sheppard's as he hovers above. "Ryan?" A soft smile curves her mouth as her right hand comes up, fingertips grazing Sheppard's cheek. She blinks heavily. "No," she sighs. Her eyes narrow on him. "You have his eyes," she whispers then her hand falls away and her eyes close. The other nurse pulls her right arm free of the uniform and wraps something black around it then squeezes a bubble. The black wrap grows around Jax's arm.

Sheppard gently shakes her. "Jax? Jax, wake up."

"Blood pressure's 70 over 50," the other nurse says quickly, pulling off the wrap.

"Let's get moving," Dr. Beckett says, giving the gurney a push.

Ronon and Sheppard follow the others into the infirmary, occasionally locking gazes, but otherwise keeping tabs on the situation. The moment she said the name, Ronon knew who Jax thought she was speaking to…the man who taught her to survive. Ronon's also sure of one thing: Jax would never have left Earth if that man was still alive.

I lose everyone I love. Perhaps Jax's past is closer to McKay's ramblings that Sheppard thinks.

One of the nurses covers Jax nose and mouth with a clear mask. "Doctor," the other nurse says drawing everyone's attention to Jax's finger. She presses on the nail until the fingertip turns white, when she releases, it stays white for several moments.

"Bloody hell," Beckett says. "Get me Chem-20, CBC, BUN, and Creatine levels ASAP." The nurses busy themselves with the tasks: one taking blood from Jax's right arm while the other draws some from the back of Jax's left hand. The doctor turns to Sheppard and Ronon. "She's severely dehydrated."

"Dehydrated?" Sheppard asks, confusion wrinkling his brows. "From what?"

"What does that mean?" Ronon asks.

"The human body is mostly water. When you put out more than you take in…"

Ronon nods. "So she'll be all right. Once you put the water back."

"It's not that simple, son. She's in a bad state."

Sheppard steps forward. "She's not gonna die though, right Carson?"

Beckett rubs his hand over his face. "That is a possibility. We may not have caught it in time. She could go into shock…renal failure even."

"You're not going to let her," Ronon commands.

"I'll try my best. Aside from her current state, I don't know what caused it in the first place. There could be any number of reasons and complications."

The nurses finish taking the blood. One of them takes all the vials away, but the other stays behind. Beckett turns and draws a curtain hanging from the ceiling around the bed.

"Carson-" Sheppard starts.

"You're welcome to stay, Colonel. In fact, since you two have had direct contact with her, I don't want you going anywhere until you're checked out as well. Just in case. But we have to undress and change the lass. I doubt she wants an audience for that."

"Right. Sorry." Sheppard leans against the wall.

Ronon can feel the man looking at him. He turns. "What?"

Sheppard licks his lips, trying to decide what to say. "What you said earlier…you weren't talking about…that guy she mentioned. Were you."

"So…you're not as dense as you look," Ronon grunts with a nod. Sheppard crosses his arms and bites on his bottom lip, his brows creasing with concern. "Relax," Ronon says. "She likes being invisible."

His forehead wrinkles, his voice edgy with sarcasm. "That makes me feel better. Thanks."

There's movement on the other side of the curtain and something hits the floor and rolls toward Ronon. He picks it up, recognizing the small bottle. "Doc."

"Yeah."

"She took some of these." Ronon shakes the bottle.

The sound pulls Beckett out from behind the curtain. He takes the bottle from Ronon and looks at the label. "Dear Lord." He opens the bottle and pours out the remaining pills and counts them. With a heavy sigh, he says, "I think we've got an overdose."

Sheppard pushes away from the wall. "She's on drugs?"

"In a manner of speaking." He returns the pills to the bottle and replaces the cap before handing it to Sheppard.

The Colonel's eyes crinkle. "Caffeine tabs?"

"Aye," Beckett sighs again. "And if that's from my new batch, the bottle's only two days old."

"And it's almost empty." Sheppard nods.

"There's six pills left. Six out of sixty."

"I don't understand," Ronon says.

Beckett shakes his head. "Caffeine is a stimulant."

"Keeps you awake," Sheppard adds, handing the bottle back to the doctor. "We were all using it when the Wraith attacked." He looks at Beckett. "Why would she still be taking them?"

"For stress."

"Stress?" Sheppard and Beckett say at the same time.

"She called them a preventive measure…for stress."

"No, no," Beckett says. "That can't be right. You must have misheard her, son."

"I didn't."

Sheppard scratches at his chin, there's something in his eyes, like he's trying to find a memory but can't quite place it. "You can OD on caffeine?"

"Aye," Beckett says. "It's very rare. But it's more than just a stimulant. It's a diaretic as well. If she's been taking these for a long time, she's built up a tolerance, but also a toxicity. The body can't handle losing so much fluid. It can cause hallucinations, palpitations which we've seen along with losing consciousness." The nurse comes out from behind the curtain carrying Jax's clothes and nods to Beckett, then heads into the back.

"I thought you said they keep you awake," Ronon says.

"Aye, but the dehydration causes the body to shut down."

Sheppard nods. "I gotta cut down on my coffee."

"Only if you drink twenty cups a day, Colonel. One of these tablets equals two cups of coffee." He looks at Ronon. "How many did you see her take?"

"Two."

"Four cups of coffee?" Sheppard raises his brows. "I'd be agitated for hours." He holds up a finger. "There's something familiar about this…it's on the tip of my tongue."

"What happens if you don't sleep?" Ronon asks.

"Oh, boy," Beckett starts. "Your whole body starts to go haywire. The brain needs that time to recuperate. Rational thought goes out the window, jumpiness, paranoia can set in… not to mention becoming one hell of a cheeky bastard."

Off Ronon's confused glance, Sheppard adds: "Not such a nice person."

Ronon nods. "That explains a lot."

Beckett's brows rise. "How's that-"

"What's happening?" A soft voice comes from behind the curtain. "Where am I?" Beckett pulls the curtain aside, revealing a seemingly alert Jax. The nurse changed her into infirmary garb. She tries to sit up, but the doctor places a hand on her shoulder.

"Relax, lass. You need to stay here."

"No." Jax twists her shoulder, pulling away from Dr. Beckett and swinging her legs over the left side of the bed. "I have to go." Her feet hit the floor and just as quickly as she stands, she starts falling forward. Ronon and Sheppard move in at the same time, each getting a hold of one arm and keeping her standing. "Let me go!"

"Get her on the bed," Beckett tells them, stepping aside. Ronon picks her up and lays her down, but she's up and off the other side of the bed in another moment. She leans on a monitor to keep herself upright. "It's not safe!" Sheppard goes to that side and blocks her escape.

"She's hallucinating badly," Beckett says. "Get her lying down, Colonel." He rushes passed Ronon toward the back.

"Jax," Sheppard reaches for her and she backs up a couple jerky steps, bumping the monitor aside.

"Get away!" She steps away from the bed only to pull at the tube attached to the inside of her left arm. Jax glances down at it, quickly ripping it out of her arm, spilling blood everywhere.

"Carson!" Sheppard calls. "Jax, we're trying to help you," Sheppard says calmly, taking a step closer.

"You need to calm down," Ronon adds.

"Yeah, what he said," Sheppard motions to Ronon and Jax's eyes follow. Sheppard takes the opportunity to move closer, but she sidesteps further away from the bed.

"Don't…." she holds out her arms, blood pumping from the open wound. "I promise…I won't say anything."

"Carson!"

"Coming. Just-" he sees the blood on her arm and shirt. "She pulled out her I.V.?"

"Sheppard..." Ronon warns, but it's too late, Jax lunges forward, plowing her shoulder into Sheppard's stomach and sending them both flying to the floor. She lands on top of him and tries to scramble away but Ronon's behind her, and easily picks her up around the waist. She kicks and flails at him, but never connects.

"You okay, Colonel?" Beckett asks as Sheppard gets up.

"Fine."

"Let me in there, son. I've got a sedative."

"NO!" she screams, lashing out with more energy and hitting Beckett hard enough in the face to knock him back a couple steps with a painfilled groan. Her other fist slams down, hitting Ronon in the crotch and he instantly loses his grip on her and she squirms away, crawling under a nearby table.

Folded over, Ronon pulls his gun, set on stun, but Sheppard raises his hands. "No." Sheppard goes down on one knee in front of the table. "Jax…" Her eyes bounce around the room, taking in everything, but seeing nothing it seems. She's shaking violently and breathing in rasps. "We're not going to hurt you. I promise."

She's crouched down on the balls of her feet, fists on her knees, eyes darting everywhere. Sheppard keeps his voice steady, trying to calm her. "Jax, I need to you come out of there, so we can help you."

"Sheppard," Ronon growls, still trying to set aside the pain. "Use her real name."

The Colonel glances up at Ronon then nods. He turns back to Jax. "Maggie-"

"No," Ronon says. "Her real name."

This time Sheppard nods without looking up. "Angela?" She turns to him, her face pale and filled with fear. She narrows her gaze and tilts her head. Her eyes widen in surprise. "Ryan?" Tentatively, she reaches for him but pulls back and pushes herself farther under the table. "Nononono…who are you?"

Sheppard glances at Beckett, raising his brows in question. Beckett shrugs. "Try it."

He turns back to Jax. "It's me, Angela. Look at my eyes. It's Ryan. I'm here." She looks at him for a long time before that soft smile hits her. "I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. But you need to come out from there." When she doesn't react, Sheppard quietly adds: "You're not safe under there."

This time, when she reaches for him, Sheppard takes her hand. She allows him to pull her out from under the table. He helps her stand up, getting a firm grip on both her upper arms. She smiles, gazing into his eyes, "Ryan?" then cups his face, smearing blood on his cheek. Her eyes go wide at the sight of red and her mouth opens as if to scream but nothing comes out.

"Any time, doc," Sheppard says and Beckett's plunging the needle into her upper arm. She wrenches away from Sheppard's grip, grabbing at the spot.

Jax is back instantly. The defiance, the steely eyes. No fear. Just rage. "What the hell was that!" She backs up a wobbly step.

"Just a mild sedative, lass. To help you sleep."

"No." Her eyes go wide with anger. "You bastard!" She launches herself at Beckett, but Ronon's faster, he catches her just before her legs buckle. He lifts her easily in both arms and carries her back to the bed. Her eyes are still open but glassy. As he lays her down, she grabs a handfull of his hair and pulls hard "Ronon!" She growls. "Don't make me sleep."

"You don't have a choice now, Jax."

Her grip fails as her body gives in to the drug and her hand slips from his hair. Still, she's fighting to keep her eyes open. "Ronon…" The icy façade melts from her gaze, leaving her completely defenseless. "Please," she sighs.

He knows that must have been the hardest thing she's ever had to say to anyone…especially him. But there's nothing he can do for her. And she knows it. "Sorry."

Her eyelids grow heavy, but she keeps them open as long as she can. Her body trembles and a soft cry escapes as she finally succumbs to the drug. Tears flow over her temples and into her hair.

"Wow," Sheppard exhales hard. "That was…different."

"To say the least," Beckett agrees. "Okay. I've got to get the arm cleaned up and start a fresh IV. But first things first. Janet." He calls to the back. "We need the restraints for this one." He turns back to Sheppard and Ronon. "Just in case."

Sheppard runs his hand through his hair. "I'm not doubting you there, doc." He looks at Ronon. "She's feisty. And surprisingly strong."

Ronon looks down at Jax. Her face looks peaceful, but he knows it's just another mask. "That she is."

"Now that we know what caused this, I see no reason to keep you lads here. You need to get cleaned up too, Colonel. No worries about pathogens, though. Everyone here's been checked and triple checked. So, off with ya both."

"I'm staying," Ronon says. Both Sheppard and Beckett look at him.

"She's gonna be asleep for hours, Ronon," Beckett says. "She won't even know you're here."

"She won't care either," Ronon says dryly. He cocks his head. "Will she dream?"

Beckett nods. "I don't see why not. Sometimes sedatives can lead to very vivid dreams."

Ronon grabs her hand, linking his fingers through hers. "Then I'm staying."

Sheppard groans, rubbing the back of his neck. The thought that's been plaguing him has finally surfaced. "That's why she took the pills."

"What's that, Colonel?" Beckett asks.

"Nightmare on Elm Street, doc."

"I'm not following you."

Sheppard moves to the foot of the bed. "She's been taking the stims so she won't dream."

"No," Ronon says, looking down at her. "So she won't remember."