11
She thrashes her legs, and twists against the restraints for several minutes at a time. She gnashes her teeth or groans deep in her chest. Sometimes she whimpers. Sometimes she screams. He tries to calm her to no avail, but Ronon knows she's fighting her demons…surviving. So that's good. It's the times she lays there motionless and cries silently that disturb him the most. He's afraid she's given up.
This is one of those times. He squeezes her hand, trying to let her know she is not alone, but she doesn't seem to notice. Tears stream from her eyes. Her fever is still raging, pulling sweat from her body, drenching her clothes and hair.
Dr. Beckett comes up behind him and injects something into the IV now connected to her inner right arm. "More sedative?"
"No lad. Electrolytes." He's about to explain but Ronon holds up a hand to stop him. Beckett smoothes damp hair away from her forehead. "She's in REM sleep now."
"She's not fighting anymore," he says sadly.
"She can't right now. Her body's paralyzed. Even though we dream in all stages, this one's the most vivid, like little movies but we don't have any muscle control. When she's talking or moving…that's the deepest level of sleep. Less images, more emotion. So the studies say."
Ronon shakes his head. This is exactly what she was trying to avoid. The immobility…the helplessness. The images she can't fight.
He remembers those feelings. That's why he had to forget Nally. Pushed her memory deep down. Seeing the Wraith take her, feed on her and being unable to stop it. He'd been powerless to defend her…to save her. He turned that helpless feeling into rage against the Wraith. It sustained him for many years before he became a runner.
Jax doesn't have that luxury. As she said…she can't blame the Wraith. So she blames herself. I kill them. Ronon's certain she didn't mean by her own hand. She means that they die because of her. Because of what she saw, what she remembers.
"Get down!" she shouts suddenly, jarring both men. Beckett ducks slightly, looking overhead. She's thrashing her legs against the ankle bands again as if running. Her arms try to come up, but the bands around her wrists hold her down. "Ryan!" She screams then a painfilled gasp escapes and she starts sobbing, shaking her head. "Nonono..."
She jerks up suddenly, gripping Ronon's hand. She turns, looking directly at him, tears streaming down her cheeks, wet eyes on fire. "I will kill you!" Then she falls back agianst the bed, eyes closed but legs still kicking.
"What was that?" Beckett asks, stunned.
"That," Ronon says, feeling a slight smile tug at his mouth. "Is a Runner."
Ronon feels pressure on his shoulder and opens his eyes. He fell asleep in his chair, still holding Jax's hand. Tilting his head, he sees Sheppard standing behind him. "Morning sunshine?" Ronon grimaces. Sheppard lifts his chin toward Jax. "How is she?"
"Tied up, it seems," Jax says harshly. Ronon looks over, seeing her staring at them. She narrows her gaze on him. "Something tells me it was your idea."
"Nope," Sheppard comes to his defense. "But it wasn't a bad one."
She tries to sit up but a serious of pained expression cross her face, she closes her eyes and lies back down with a groan. "Who's the guy with the bongos?" Ronon raises a brow, glances at Sheppard then looks back at Jax. She sighs heavily as she looks at him. "Okay, you gotta learn some colloquials." She looks around the room, getting her bearings, still a bit drowsy. "What happened?"
"You don't remember?" Sheppard moves to the foot of the bed, his hands behind his back.
Jax closes her eyes and her brow wrinkles. "No." She glances at her shirt. "Why am I all sticky?"
"That would be the fever, lass," Beckett says as he comes over. He presses the little machine into her ear and it beeps. "Which is broken now, thankfully." He starts undoing her wrist strap, motioning to Ronon to follow suit. He pulls his hand free of hers, not that she seems to notice and undoes the belt on the cuff.
Jax locks her eyes on the doctor, her brow wrinkling again. "Dr. Beckett?"
"Yes, love."
"Why do I want to hit you?"
Beckett's eyes widen and his fingers stop moving on the restraint. He glances at Sheppard, who shrugs. "Um…the doc had to give you a shot last night," Sheppard says. "You didn't like it so much."
"Hmm. Okay then." Seeing that she is completely calm, Beckett finishes releasing her left hand. She rubs her wrists as the doctor takes off the ankles restraints. "Someone gonna fill me in?"
"That would be nice," Dr. Weir says from the doorway. All eyes turn to her and she smiles with that familiar I'm-the-boss grin.
Jax looks at Beckett again. "Well?" He takes out the bottle of caffeine pills and shows it to her. That blank expression Ronon is so used to covers any emotion she may be having. "Oh."
"I think we need to have a chat, love."
Jax shrugs a shoulder. "How 'bout if I just say…'oops'. And 'sorry'. And 'I'll never do it again'."
"Sorry?" Dr. Weir steps over to the bed, standing next to Sheppard and the Colonel stands up straighter. "I don't think that's going to cut it, Maggie."
At the mention of the first name, Jax's dangerous glare falls on Dr. Weir, but only for a brief second before she drops her eyes to her hands. "It's all I have."
Dr. Weir glances at Sheppard, Ronon then Beckett before sighing and going to the other side of the bed. She places her hand on Jax's, but the young woman pulls away instantly. Dr. Weir raises her brows. "I'd like you to see to Dr. Heightmeyer."
"They're caffeine tabs. I didn't try to kill myself."
"No one's saying you did," Sheppard's grin falters.
"Nevertheless," Dr. Weir says. "I want you to see her."
"Fine."
The answer came out too quickly and easily for Ronon to buy, let alone Dr. Weir. Her eyes narrow and that one brow rises in suspicion. "And talk to her."
Jax looks up, matching Dr. Weir's gaze. "I can't do that."
"Yes, you can."
Jax keeps her eyes and voice steady. "No."
Ronon, Sheppard and Beckett all shuffle uncomfortably in the presence of two opposed, but equally strong women. Dr. Weir may be the boss, but Jax is not one to back down easily, as they all witnessed last night. They stare at each other for a long moment and it's Dr. Weir who finally breaks the hold. She looks to Dr. Beckett. "How is she?"
"I'll need to keep her here for another day at least."
"Good," Dr. Weir says then looks down at Jax. "I'll send Dr. Heightmeyer to you."
"Won't help," Jax says sourly.
Dr. Weir bristles. "Look, I'm not-"
"Omega-nine-two-two." Jax says, locking onto Dr. Weir's gaze again.
Ronon has never seen the Atlantis leader flustered before, but this clearly does it. Whatever the term means, it's left Dr. Weir speechless. She crosses her arms, and sniffs, raising her chin. Then, without breaking contact with Jax, she says: "Gentlemen. Please leave."
"Elizabeth…"
She sharply turns to Sheppard. "Now."
Sheppard nods. "Yes, ma'am." He motions to Ronon and Beckett and they follow him into the corridor. The door closes.
"What the heck is Omega-nine-two-two?" Beckett asks as soon as they are alone.
Sheppard leans against the wall. "I don't know. Which means only one thing. Military classified."
Ronon glances at him. "Her brother."
Sheppard nods. "Or the feds. Maybe it was part of the deal to pull her out of protection to save his life."
"What are you two babbling about?"
"Sorry Carson. Wouldn't tell you even if I knew for certain."
"Well that's just bloody lovely."
Dr. Weir comes out of the infirmary, her eyes slightly moist, but she's smiling softly. "Colonel," she sniffs. "I'd appreciate it if your team could complete that mission I requested."
"Really?" Sheppard asks.
She nods, still smiling. "But remember. It's still a secret." Her eyes shift to the side as if she's about to look over her shoulder but decides not to. "From everyone."
"Okay then." He slaps Ronon's shoulder. "You up for it?"
Ronon cracks his neck, rolls his shoulders. "Yeah. Let's go."
Sheppard taps his headset. "Teyla, McKay. This is Sheppard. Prepare for departure in one hour."
Dr. Weir's smile increases. "Thank you."
Sheppard bows his head. "You know me. Always hoping to increase morale."