An Optimist's Dream in a Time of Darkness:
Chapter 7: How Deep the Rabbit Hole Really Goes
AN: YES! IHAVE INTERNET AGAIN! does dance around room….. runs to computer screen and kisses it …. 1001…1002…1003….. 0h and what the heck….1004! I have been unable to update due to lack of internet for the past… what is it now 2 months? I'm just glad to be back because I have some really good chapters that I would like you to read…. Such as this one….. so if you please go right along and do just that… thank you again for your patience and your lovely reviews which I am just now receiving… blah…. Oh well. By the way I am going to hold off on any questions asked because I know there's going to be a few….so look for them in the next chapter.
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"Lancelot!" Arthur's voice carried down the hallway as he jogged after his companion. After catching his breath he spoke, "I was wondering if you could help me with a dilemma?" Never before had Arthur truly liked asking Lancelot for help, anyone else would have been fine. But due to the knight's jesting and playful nature it was hard for Arthur to confide in him. He knew eventually he would, as he should confide in all of his knights, but it was getting to that point that was so tedious to Arthur.
The knight looked curiously at his Commander, "What troubles you Arthur? Is the sky falling again?"
Arthur cracked a smile, and then thinking better of it, hid it with a frown. "I'm serious, it's about Aislin."
"Oh," Lancelot turned his head away in an uninterested manner. "What has she done this time? Dropped a candle and set fire to the stable? Tripped in a rut and knocked a poor old woman over, an old woman who just happens to be the village elder? Or has she-."
"She hasn't done a single thing wrong," he paused, "yet."
"Well now there's an achievement," his mockery was beginning to bother Arthur, as it always would after a certain length of time.
"Are you going to help, or simply stand there laughing about my cousin all day?"
"Such tempting choices," Lancelot jested in between his laughs.
"Fine," the commander turned his back and in a furry of disdain began to saunter off. He should've known that he could not rely on Lancelot for his advice; he would have been better off asking the wall.
"Arthur! Arthur wait! I was merely playing. Come, I will listen. Tell me of your dilemma." He spoke, still half giggling.
Arthur took in the thin lining of sincerity that ran through Lancelot's voice and decided to discuss his problem with him. He had to take the leap into friendship at some time, why not then? "I have been sent a message from a Roman garrison above the wall, their highest military official has a son who wishes to marry. They brought their claim here to see if there were any royal women eligible for matrimony, since we are most in contact with Rome out of all the villages along Hadrian's Wall. Without my knowledge, Grockus and his council of advisors chose my cousin."
He turned to Lancelot with a pleading look burned into his eyes. "What am I to do? I explained to Aislin my situation and she left me standing in the stable, she hasn't talked to me in two whole days. She refuses to come down to supper or to even tend to Kade, and she loves Kade. I don't know if she blames me or simply wants to stay sheltered for the rest of her life." He sighed, "her suitor will have arrived in another three days time and by then it would have been to late for me to apologize. I can't believe they volunteered her without my permission! I am her guardian, am I not?" Arthur clenched his fists in frustration.
"She's not even Roman! What is her suitor going to have to say when he finds out? Will he treat her as a slave, or will she have rights as an equal?" Arthur's mind raced over the situation continuously. "Lancelot, how am I to go to this family after they have been promised a bride, after they have made plans for the future, how do I tell them that they cannot have her?"
Lancelot thought for a moment; this was a riddle, a puzzle that simply needed to be solved. "Tell the suitor that she is ill, that she is on her deathbed and could not make the trip nor last more than four days more in her condition."
"They would want to see for themselves."
"Say that they cannot, that is it too horrible an ailment to be witnessed. Tell them that it will spread, and that if they wished to survive they would leave. Make her sound ugly or hideous, I don't know make some horrid disfigurement up. Tell them that she's really a boy." As if that was his final conclusion, he gave a sharp nod and a wide smile.
"How did you come up with that? She has… erm…-." He tried to think of an appropriate word, " breasts. It would be a might noticeable that she was a woman."
"Those are breasts? I thought they were two large growths under her chin! You learn something new everyday."
"You're hopeless."
"Ah, I may be condemned, but Arthur you are the one stuck with the problem, not I." His somber speech brought a chill to Arthur's being. "Why not tell them the truth? Tell them that she is a Woad. They live north of the wall, I'm sure they hate the Woads."
"My mother was a Woad," he posed halfheartedly. "She married a Roman, won't that give them courage to go on with the wedding?"
"Perhaps, if they want a half Roman half Britain commander?" He read the scorn in Arthur's eyes and thought it best to explain. "Arthur, do you not see the cycle? A Britain woman marries a Roman commander and they have a son. The mother visits her family and brings home her niece. The niece grows up and marries a Roman officer and they have a son. That son will be an officer as you are an officer; the Woads will breed the Roman's out of their pure blood. Now you tell me, will this family who has fought the Woads since they arrived on this pathetic island, want to marry into their family?"
Arthur thought this over and knew the answer was no, why hadn't he seen it before? But then, his father had fought the Woads and still he found it possible to marry into their family. It was a hopeless situation any way that you looked at it, one that could only be resolved once they had met the Roman family.
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"THE SCRAWNEY ONE!" The sun had set and the Roman legions were all free to enjoy their leisure. Many stood around in an oblong circle watching a fight and placing their bets.
"I BET THE BEAST!" More coins were tossed to the ground in a rush of excitement and drunkenness. Some of the knights had even joined in on the betting.
Vanora maneuvered in between the tables placing drinks where they were ordered and cleaning up messes where they were left. She grabbed up her tray and slid it across the counter before entering into the storage chamber to retrieve more wine. "Oh!" She stumbled backwards in shock. "Aislin! You frightened me, what are you doing here?"
"I couldn't stay in my room any longer," her eyes were red from fallen tears and her face pale from lack of sun. The rowdy shouts from outside echoed within the tiny chamber. "What's going on out there?"
Vanora's fear was wiped away by a truly gleeful smile, "oh, those vagabonds are betting on a match. Never does cease to amaze them, men beating the snot out of each other I mean." She heard Aislin's minute giggle fade into nothingness.
"Honey what's wrong?" Vanora sat down the sack of wine and waltzed over to her friend.
"It's nothing."
"Aislin dear, I took care of you when you were ill, and when you were upset. Trust me when I say I know there is something wrong." Vanora tried to see past the layer of ice Aislin had caked around her being, but her eyes would yield no hint as to what was bothering her. "Okay, then. You're more than welcome to come out and help me, or you could stay in here. It's up to you."
"Thank you," the young woman's voice was no more than a whisper.
"Don't mention it," Vanora threw over her shoulder as she left the dark room and entered into the light of merriment.
"Who were you talking to?" A stocky man stood at the front of the bar leaning over to talk to the woman.
"Aislin," Vanora leaned in, "she's upset about something, won't say what though." The man made a movement as if to head to the chamber, but Vanora's gentle touch held him back. "Don't, she's very alone and I know she wants to come out here. But it is up to her to come out on her own accord, no one can make her, otherwise she might not come out at all."
"You sound just like a mother," the man stated in his husky voice.
"I am a mother," She leaned over the counter and allowed herself to sink into his kiss.
"Kiss her once for me, Bors." Lancelot jested as he walked by grabbing up another goblet.
Bors had turned his head and shouted after his comrade, as Vanora went back to her duties serving wine and cleaning up. "Now, where were we," Bors asked as he turned around, to his surprise the woman was gone. "Vanora?" His eyes scanned over the scene until he finally found her and smiled. He couldn't have been more pleased with his life; he had a beautiful woman, a son, and the chance to kill for sport.
Aislin pulled her cloak tighter around her body and tried to sneak out of the back room unnoticed, the effort was in vain. "Aislin! There you are!" Bors shouted out in mock surprise.
The young woman spun around and glared at him, she hadn't wanted to be found. She wanted to hide away, to not be seen or remembered. Her plan was to make everyone forget she had existed that way when the time came for her to leave she would not feel the pain of his or her sorrow. But it was too late for that now; she had been gathered into the excitement of the night.
"Aislin!" She watched as her young friend Galahad poked his way through the crowd of betting men and over to her. His curls were drooping around his face from the heat of the day. "Aislin come and dance!"
"Oh, I can't1 I- I have to-." She tried to weasel her way out of it, though he had already grabbed her forearm and was pulling her back through the crowd and into the courtyard.
"Music! Play the music!" He shouted as he pulled her out into the center of the courtyard.
She watched as the men found their couples and headed out to dance as well, her mind racing with both distress and exhilaration. The instrument's voices rose up as if a choir of songbirds, their cheerful tune filled the air with a certain ecstasy that no one could escape. Aislin found herself locked arm in arm with Galahad and another woman prancing around in an awkward circle around an inner circle of people.
As the beat raced so did they, arms lifted to the heavens as people ducked under each other weaving in and out of the dancing circles. It was pure moments of bliss and Aislin even caught herself laughing and smiling. Her mind had left behind her troubles and was merely focusing on the joy of the situation. They frolicked around for what had seemed to be hours, but truthfully was only minutes.
Aislin found herself exhausted after such a stimulating dance, and she nearly toppled over into Galahad's arms, laughing all the while. "Thank you, you have no idea how wonderful that made me feel. I want to do it again!" She burst out in a fit of giggles still feeling the rush of the dance beneath her feet.
He was laughing too as he tried to stay balanced whilst holding her up. "You, I think, need to sit down."
"Okay, for a little while, then we dance again." Her eyes had lit up with a sort of life that had left her some days before. Galahad helped walk her over to a chair and sat with her as Vanora brought drinks over to them.
"Well you seem to be doing much better now." She commented as she laid the drinks on the wooden table.
Aislin just grinned and sipped the wine, savoring every last drop of it as it rushed down the back of her throat, warming her soul with merriment.
"What a happy couple you two make," there it was again, that irking voice protruding in the back of her mind.
"Lancelot, why do you never dance? I'm sure it would be most amusing to watch you make a fool of yourself." Aislin sat her goblet back onto the table and stood, "I'm going back out, Galahad would you join me?"
"She can't dance without you; you must really love her to put up with her clumsiness. I'd be worried that my foot would break under her strain."
Aislin snatched her wine goblet and poured the red liquid over his head causing his curls to stretch and flatten over his face. "Oops, I'm sorry. I'm just so clumsy." Her smile widened at his scornful glare. "Come Galahad, you owe me a second dance." The two departed with laughter in their hearts and wine in their belly ready to wipe away all that could possibly worry them.
Gawain pulled a chair up next to Lancelot and stared after the two youths. "Here, clean yourself up, you look worse then my mother's corpse." He threw a cloth over Lancelot's face.
"Thanks, you know eventually that girl is going to drive me to kill her?"
Gawain chuckled heartily at the thought; "I'd place my money on her." He saw the expression on Lancelot's face and couldn't help but laugh. "Lancelot eventually she is going to grow up. She is going to change, become a lady, an attractive one at that, I have no doubt."
"How could that thing ever become beautiful?" His voice was rigid with dislike.
"One does not have to be beautiful to be attractive." Gawain pressed on, "my point is that one day you're going to wake up and she'll be happily married with five wonderful children and a loving husband, and your going to ask yourself why you ever drove her away." Gawain stood and picked up the empty goblet to take back to Vanora.
"It's going to rain." Lancelot's dark eyes gazed up at the clouded over sky.
"When it rains, it pours." The second knight turned to leave.
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"Arthur," a giant of a knight stood over Arthur's sleeping body. "Arthur, the caravan of Romans has arrived."
The Commander stirred awake. "They are here?" He gazed out the open window. Rain poured down drenching anything that dared to defy it. "They're three days early. I have to find Aislin." Arthur leapt out of his bed and headed for the chamber door, "Thank you Dagonet, please don't speak of this to anyone. I know Grockus will want a celebration, but until that time I want it kept quiet."
"Understood," Dagonet nodded and watched as Arthur departed out of the chamber and down the stone staircase.
The young commander made his way across the villa and down the winding halls that led to his cousin's bedchamber. He passed the fortress hall with its political air, the courtyard whose voice sang out pure gaiety, the stable where the horses nestled in their hay, he passed many servants who waltzed around their duties with a certain pride, but none of these things had mattered to him. Generally this normality would be pleasing to him; it would offer a sense of control and allow him to see that this place was actually destined for something. But not that night, that night dawned the change of his life.
For even if he was capable of talking the Roman suitor out of marriage to Aislin his life would have been altered by the sheer ignorance of the occasion. He was the Commander of the Sarmatian Knights, no matter that he was only seventeen, he was the Commander and Grockus had deliberately left him out of this arrangement. Arthur was not the man to be toyed with by false masks of generosity. He would assume command of this garrison; if not freely then he would take it by force with his knights at his side to ensure the prosperity of this village and Rome's cause.
Arthur only stopped his enraged argumentative thoughts when he came to halt in front of Aislin's door. He hadn't thought about what he would say to her, how he would explain that he was an ignorant fool for not seeing through Grockus and for allowing this plan to proceed. He hadn't even thought of how he would get her out of this situation only that he needed to. Perhaps he would take Lancelot's approach and tell the Roman's that she was a Woad, but what if it backfired? What if this man actually thought that the idea of marring a native fighter would prove an interesting life? What if he simply wanted to marry her to press her about the customs of the Woads, to find out their secrets so that he might use them in battle?
The young man ignored this ongoing war that he had waged in his mind and simply banged on the chamber door. "Aislin! Aislin, it is I, Arthur! I need to speak with you, please let me enter. Aislin it is of the utmost importance!" There was no answer only muffled movements, would she not open the door and let him in? Was she truly that angry with him? "Aislin this isn't a game! Cousin, halt you heated hatred for me for one moment so I might warn you of a pending danger!" At again no answer he raised his fists and slammed them into the door. He was about to do it again when the door opened and a scrawny young woman poked her head out.
"My Lord, I beg of you. Stop creating such a massive scene by banging on this door. I feel it would break under the sheer force you have placed it under." The woman squeaked out in a tantrum. "Your cousin is not even here, she went down to the courtyard to speak with Vanora. So I ask of you again stop harassing this door!" With her quarrel presented she turned and slammed the heavy door in his face just as he was about to speak.
"Well, she was a lovely maiden wasn't she?"
"Lancelot, please do not hold me back with your banter. I need to speak-."
"With Aislin, I know." He uncrossed his arms and walked toward his companion. "That is why I am here, but I fear you have already been warranted over half the information I wished to have presented to you."
Arthur's eyes were steady as he awaited the helpful information. "Go on."
"Aislin has been in the courtyard most of the evening, and I must say she becomes quite… what's the word? Ah, moody. Yes, she becomes quite moody when she is drunk." The younger man glared at Lancelot giving him fair warning not to continue on with the path he had chosen. "My point is she is drunk and with a rabble of men, but that should not be your main concern. She has Gawain and Tristan there to watch over her, she will be fine. What you need to worry yourself about is the caravan that has entered into this garrison, the same caravan that was greeted by nineteen Roman Legions and Grockus himself. These visitors were promised a feast and given fine clocks, Arthur, this was no early arrival."
"Grockus planned to have them come on this night to make it look as if they had simply arrived earlier then expected."
"No, not to make them appear early. Grockus plans to hide the family in one of the dwellings of the village until the morning of Aislin's birthday. That way he can make it seem as if they had arrived in the night whilst everyone was sleeping, effectively allowing the suitor to view his promised bride before you could have a say in any of it."
"But why? Why go through all of this trouble to get rid of my cousin? She has no effect on this fort, she hardly has any effect on anyone."
"I'm not sure, but if I had to make a guess I'd say it was because of you. Grockus knows you're the Commander of the Sarmatian Knights-."
"And as long as he removes Aislin, I am clear to forget my past, to forget Pelagius, my mother, everything that taught me equality, so that I might work under his rule." Arthur clenched his teeth together tightly trying his best to control his anger. "How did you acquire all of this information without Grockus knowing?"
"Let's just say I know his daughter very well, and we'll leave it at that." Lancelot's disease of a smile spread to Arthur and before he knew it he even laughed.
"One day Lancelot, one day you are going to mess up and break a woman's heart that you had no right to break and then where will your jests take you?"
"Into the arms of another maiden, I presume."
"You are hopeless, hopeless." Arthur started off past Lancelot but stopped when he smelled something of a rich liquor fuming from his friend. "Why do you reek of wine?"
"You can thank your cousin for me for that one," he pulled down a stench-enriched curl and let it bounce back. "I told you she is moody when she is drunk."
Arthur's face lit up with amusement as he turned to walk away, his laughs carrying down the hall. Even as Arthur had disappeared out of sight Lancelot still stood there scowling.
"I-I don't mind the smell of wine. I find it invigorating and exotic." The scrawny woman from Aislin's chamber was now standing in the hallway, her teeth tentatively gnawing on her lip. The young knight raised an eyebrow and allowed a sly grin to dance across his lips.
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Her laughter swirled up into the nearly clouded over night sky releasing some joy and tension at once. She leaned her weight against a table smiling insanely at how this one night of merriment had illuminated her soul so. "Aislin, perhaps you should lay down for some time. You look absolutely exhausted, love." Vanora's voice whistled through the thick air of drunkenness. She raised her eyes as the rain rolled off the roof and slowly began to stop, until all that was left was the wind.
"Perhaps you're right," her giggles fading into somberness. "I have been- WOOPS!" Aislin feet slid on a patch of spilled wine sending her crashing to the ground.
"Oh Aislin are you all right?" Vanora came calling to her, Bors and Galahad just behind.
"She's laughing like a mad woman! Ha!" Bors chuckled aloud.
"Bors!" His lover's glare caused him some momentary discomfort.
"She's fine, look at 'er! Just a little too much to drink is all. Here let me help you up," Bors took a hold of one arm as Galahad pulled from the other, successfully lifting her from the sodden ground.
"Why, thank you Bors and… hmm." She scrunched her eyes as she starred at Galahad. "And Dagonet!"
"What! Do I look that tall or that old?"
"Ah! It is Galahad!" She smiled broadly, "thank you."
Vanora broke the awkward moment of stupor. "Galahad, I believe this Lady here, needs an escort back to her place of rest. Would you?"
"Surely my lady," with one clean swoop Aislin was over his shoulder and protesting as they marched down the pathway.
"I will not go back to that prison of a room! And you can't make me VANORA!" She screamed out as they turned the corner. "Horrible old crone. She has one child, ONE CHILD, and now she thinks she's the mother of everyone. Or is it everyone's mother, no I'm pretty sure it's the mother of everyone. OH HELL! WHAT IF EVERYONE DOESN'T WANT A MOTHER?"
"Will you pipe down up there? Do you want to wake the villagers'? I'm sure they'd be most pleased to see you at this hour of night."
"By now it's morning, and you just keep youreyes on where it is you are walking. Don't want to be dropped on my arse any time soon." At that moment Galahad halted causing Aislin's weight to shift backwards, effectively arising a scream from her throat.
"That wasn't funny!" Her hand collided with the back of his head.
"Ow! Of course it was! Ow! Will you not stop doing that?" He pleaded, rubbing the back of his head all the while.
"No!" And for good measure she did it one last time.
"Argh! That's it!" The young knight allowed his captive to plummet to the ground without any sympathy. "Serves you right, now you can escort yourself back up to your rooms. Goodnight, Lady." He gave a swift bow and turned his back to leave.
"You- OW!" She started to stand but found it very painful to move her butt. "Hmph, I guess I'm just stuck here until-."
"Do you need some assistance Lady?" Aislin lifted her gaze to an illuminated doorway where a young man stood gazing out at her.
"No, no I will be just fine, thank you." Her breathing wavered as she pulled herself onto her knees.
"It is no trouble of mine, here let me help you." He outstretched his hand for her to grasp. She took it tentatively, not entirely sure whom she would be dealing with once she stood. "There, a Lady should never be brought to her knees, for any reason."
Now that she was standing directly in front of the young man she was able to take in the full sight of him. He had long locks of auburn hair, a straight nose, thin rosy lips and a small scar that just grazed the corner of his forehead. But it was his eyes that held her gaze; the perfect mixture of blue and green, there was even a hint of gold. "You have the most marvelous eyes," she breathed, not noticing that she had begun to lean in closer to him.
His praising smile lit up his face, "thank you, Lady-?"
"Aislin, Lady Aislinarea Castus." At her name his expression changed to one of utmost interest. "And you sir, what is your name?"
"Marcus- erm… Marcus Progreum."
"How fascinating," she mused, her drunken stupor gaining the best of her. Aislin's lips were nearly on his, his warm breath grazing her cheeks with a sort of overwhelming delight.
"Yes, most fascinating indeed," he leaned in further pressing himself against her, their lips touching in a sheer moment of bliss. He could feel the burn of her lips on his and knew that she was the woman he came here for. He knew now that he would have her at all costs, if simply for the sweet taste of her lips and the gentle touch of her arms as they wrapped themselves around his neck.
But the moment was all too ruined by Aislin's exhaustion. Her body became limp in his arms as she passed into a deep sleep unaware of her previous surroundings. "Sleep my love, and dream. Dream of what is to come, dream of us." He spoke as if a little boy holding his hopes close to his heart.
"AISLIN! Aislin!" Arthur came clattering down the pathway and nearly ran Marcus over in an attempt to reach his cousin. "She's-?"
"Passed out is all, my lord. I helped her to her feet and in one quick moment she was back to dreaming."
Arthur outstretched his arms and took the burden of Aislin from the man before him. "Thank you, sir. I am sorry to have bothered you at such a late hour. Please forgive my cousin and I?"
"Your cousin," Marcus questioned under his breath. "Yes of course, it is of no trouble."
Arthur whispered his apologies once more before carrying on down the street. "Do not fear Aislin, I will not auction you off as a bride, nor allow anyone else to either. You may rest peacefully now."
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"What was that all about?" An older roman asked as Marcus entered back into his dwelling.
"Father, I have just met my bride to be." He smiled lightheartedly, "she is a very lovely young woman."
"I'm glad to see that this trip down here was not a waste after all."
"Father please, would you have me marry one of the giddy girls that flock around our garrison?"
"There is nothing wrong with a woman who idolizes her husband."
Marcus got up and leaned against the window starring out at the quiet fort. "I don't want someone to idolize me, I want a woman who will love me."
"You live in a fairy tale, my boy. Love does not exist."
"But it can someday," he threw in quickly under his breath. "Good night father, I shall see you in the morning."
"And your bride to be?"
"Perhaps."
AN: Very long chapter wouldn't you say…. So yeah you meet the fiancé…. Hmm whatcha think? I want him to come off kind of rude to his father but really a decent guy…. Sort of the opposite to Lancelot… who tends to be rude to Aislin and well genuinely nice to some other people… so yeah in the next chapter more Lancelot fun… woo hoo! Until then ta!