Dear Loyal Readers, forgive me for taking soooo long for chapter 7, but SCHOOL started again and it's been hounding me for more homework every day. Well, screw homework on saturday, I'm going to go blow up a few skrewts! So where were we? Due to a freak accident the entire cast of Inuyasha went through the well and ended up at Hogwarts. Due to even more freak accidents, Snape is now in love with Inuyasha, Kagome is still in love with Inuyasha and- last but not least- Hammy the Skrewt just went up in a blaze of glory... Or something like glory, anyways. And now it's lightly perfuming the school with the scent of dead skrewt, just waiting for its friends and family to follow the smell to avenger his- her? death. Welcome to the great hall, we hope your meal is satisfactory!

Disclaimer: Oh, for the love of... Look, am I J.K. Rowling? Or Rumiko Takahashi? Do I look like I'm writing manga or a fanfic? Which do YOU think? I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS! Sigh Darn you lawyer peoples! I'm sick of writing that!

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"InuYashaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Quit following me!"

"B-but you're my one true love!"

"I don't care!"

"Wheee! I finally caught you, you cute, purrdy, absolutely fantabulous li'l-"

"Aaagh! Gerroff me!"

The sounds of Snape and Inuyasha scuffling down the hallway was quite an interesting dillema for most of the Hogwarts students. Harry peered at them from down the corridor witha look of pity and amusement. On the one hand, Inuyasha was getting flattened by a madman, and he was truly sorry. On the other hand...

"Just- choose- the- stupid- bridesmaid- dress- from- the- cataolgue-"

Snape was making a fool of himself. The pros outweighed the cons here.

"Eat the chocolate hearts, Inuyasha, please!"

Yes, for the moment, Harry decided to make no effort to help the screaming half-demon. Kagome, meanwhile, was tearing her hair out. Literally.

"Um, Kagome," Sango said nervously, as another clump of black tufted to the floor. "I know this looks a bit disturbing, but I don't think there's any reason to..."

"Me? Worry?" Kagome shrieked.

"...To pull your hair out."

"What? O-oh. I see." Kagome's eyes looked down at the floor. "Eeeeeeeee! My hair!"

"Shut up and help me!" Inuyasha demanded, giving Snape a violent kick in the-

"Inuyasha, you dirty... Sit!" Kagome's voice cut the air. Inuyasha crashed over Snape. The two of them sprawled there dazedly. "Come on." Kagome grabbed his wrist and dragged him back to Gryffindor common. Her friends stood in mild shock.

"So... What about skrewts?" Miroku asked Nao finally.

The group met up again as they walked towards the Great Hall that evening.

"Did you hear?" Hermione whispered, because she had followed Harry and Harry had followed Inuyasha. "We have a new DADA teacher, because the last one was a total..."

"-Snot," Ron finished for her.

"Yes, well, I quite liked him," Hermione replied haughtily, before everyone split up again to sit with their friends at the house tables.

"Hummm," Kagome said, helping herself to a plate of something squishy and grey that tasted delightful despite its looks. "A new DADA teacher, eh? I wonder who he is?"

She didn't have long to wait. At that moment, Dumbledore stood up. A hush fell on the crowd.

"Due to some rather unfortunate circumstances, our origional Professor Lockhart has left the school." Whispers shot through the hall happily. "So in his place, allow me to introduce..."

Silence.

"Just a moment, he doesn't appear to be here at the moment."

The crowd of students began to look around quizzically. Suddenly, the starry ceiling turned to acid purple clouds. A gaseous mist fell upon the students and people began to cough. In a swirl of cloudy violet, somebody touched down in the center of the hall, and the miasma sucked back into the ceiling, which instantly cleared into stars again.

"Ah, there he is," Dumbledore said with a clap of his hands, as if intoxicating the students was nothing to worry about. Everybody stared at the new teacher. He wore an odd white monkey pelt, so that you couldn't see his body or head at all. A blue baboon muzzle jutted out to cover his face, masking everything except his eyes and mouth. Although his face seemed a dark black as no light could get to it, the students could just make out a crimson glow from his eyes, but most dismissed it as a trick of the light. "Students of Hogwarts," the headmaster called merrily. "Please greet... Your new Professor Naraku!"

Inuyasha suddenly choked on his food, and he could see he wasn't alone- Kagome was making an unhealthy hacking noise next to him. He smacked her spine. A waterfall of lumpy grey stuff erupted across the table.

"Gross," he commented.

"Why were you eating the Treacle Skrewt?" Harry asked, feeling a bit tricksey today. Kagome instantly started making more rasping noises. "I was only kidding!" he said in shock. Kagome gave him an icy glare.

The New Professor Naraku stared around the room silently. Even the first years could see that he was slowly scanning the entire student body. Inuyasha looked at Kagome. Kagome looked at Inuyasha. And right at that moment, Naraku looked at both of them.

"Oooooh dear," Kagome whispered. She had the strangest feeling she was going to fail her next DADA class. Harry, meanwhile, got up and raced over to Naraku, his hand extended.

"Excuse me, Professor, sir, but let me be the first to introduce you to our school! Welcome to Hogwarts!" He didn't seem to notice the look of death that Naraku was giving him. "My new friends Inuyasha and Kagome would like to introduce you, too, I'm sure! And by the way, my name is Harry Potter!" Yes, it certainly was strange how he could say everything he shouldn't have said all in one sentence.

"Erm... Hello," Naraku said. He sounded a bit like he was strangling himself. Inuyasha and Kagome made hurried slit-throat motions to Harry in the background. Harry ignored them and smiled at Naraku in a friendly way. "And... Will you be in my Defence Against The Dark Arts class?" Naraku asked, twitching violently.

"You can just call it DADA," Harry answered. "And of course I will!" Naraku relaxed visibly for no particular reason.

"Wonderful," Naraku replied hungrily. Kagome and Inuyasha sank under the table.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch- or, in this case, Hagrid's paddock- Peanut the cat was practicing a cool balancing act along the fence. Suddenly, though, Peanut stopped. The delicate pads of her kitty paws had sensed something unusual. The tawny cat blinked at the forest innocently. For a moment, everything seemed fine. Except for at that moment, an entire colony of skrewts burst out of the trees and flooded towards the school... And the innocent cat balancing on the fence.

Peanut hopped to the ground and scampered off, but something like a scorpion crossed with a spider crossed with a firecracker crossed with a chrome Ford car slithered in front of her like a centrillapede. The cat stopped and backed away warily. The blast-ended skrewt advanced, clicking a pair of pincers, its scorpion tail waving frantically. It darted at the cat with its claws and could have mashed the poor kitty into the ground, but something black, white and red all over suddenly pounced on it, sending it flying backwards in a shower of sparks before it blew into millions of pieces.

Kirara landed safely next to Peanut, who scrambled onto the firecat's back before the two of them sailed towards the school to warn everyone of the oncoming Rally of Skrewts.

Inside, Neville was heading for the great hall. After all, he was supposed to eat, wasn't he? But something was bothering him... Like somebody here wanted to control him... His mind melted away. A voice in his head slipped in quietly.

"You carry a jewel shard... Neville Longbottom."

"Yes, my Lord."

Naraku's powers of jewel shard control had gotten to him easily. Neville turned around and headed back to Gryffindor to wait for Harry. Naraku smiled to himself. My puppet, he crooned in his mind happily. You shall not go to waste...

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I am soooo sorry this took so long, but school came back and I got braces and I'm back in a music program and and and...! But anyways, just so you know, I'm still alive and writing! Dunna worry... Slightly will continue to write until she DIES! Ow, my teeth. Anyways, next time... Splendifforous Nao gets a taste of Naraku's evil, while Kagome and Inuyasha finally notice something's afoot with the gosh darned skrewts. Kirara makes a new friend, but while she's socializing, Harry's gone to bed... Or rather, walked upstairs and met the New And Improved Criminally Insane Neville Longbottom, now to be known as NAICINL! Okay, not really. Sango and Miroku finally get back to eachother, but Shippou's found some rather nasty stuff... In the girls washroom, no less. Plus- startling guest appearance by Mad Eye Moody's... Um... Eye! See ya next time!