Simple Math
Shilah listened patiently, as always, her eyes only occasionally straying to Aphrodite, and then with polite reverence. She nodded at the appropriate times and smiled gently where necessary. Tommy returned a short while later bearing several small paperboard boxes. He set them on the bar, opened one and removed several cigars. He set one down in front of each of the women and sat back, lighting his and still grinning.
Aphrodite watched him with curiosity as he smoked. Then she sniffed the cigar curiously and grimaced, quickly setting the offensive object back on the table. "Uhg, grody."
Once Gabrielle finished bringing the High Priestess up to speed on current events, Shilah looked over at Aphrodite and nodded.
"While it is not unheard of for a deity to take special interest in some of us," she said calmly. "It is extremely rare that one would actually, physically, intervene, no matter what the circumstances?"
She looked at Gabrielle. "Your past experience not withstanding, of course?"
Gabrielle nodded.
"Yet," Shilah continued. "Since David went back to find her, this brother of yours has been quiet, until now. Why?"
"If we knew that, half of the problem would be solved already," Aphrodite retorted. She was clearly having issues with being treated like a regular mortal. "The only reason I brought them here is because I know Ares messed with him, and I'm trying to fix it!"
"Again, I have to ask,' Shilah pressed gently. "Why?"
Aphrodite huffed indignantly. "Because Gabby here is my friend, kay? Is there a problem with that? Just because I'm a Goddess doesn't mean I don't have mortals that I think of as friends!"
"Granted," Shilah replied. "But, given our past experience, I have also come to the conclusion that the Gods of Gabrielle's era always seemed to have ulterior motives when they offered to help?"
"I don't have to sit here and listen to this!" Aphrodite burst out.
"Yes you do!" Tommy shot back before she could vanish. The words snapped her out of her tantrum in an instant. His voice calmed back down instantly to that polite southern drawl "If you're Gabby and Shakespeare's friend, then you'll understand why we're a bit touchy about dealing with you! If you aren't you'll just pop off again?" He looked at her expectantly. "Your move?"
Aphrodite stared at him and frowned. Then she sat back down and crossed her arms, looking away from them.
"This is so bogus!"
Gabrielle smiled, both thankful for the distraction keeping her from worrying about David, and the company.
"It's a completely different world now, Aphrodite?" she offered. She was about to say more when the phone rang. Instantly, all of them were on their feet as Tommy hopped over the couch and snatched up the phone.
"Yeah?" He said. "Yes, this is. Yes she's right here. Okay, we're on the way!" He hung up the phone.
"He's awake." Was all he said, and they were heading for the door.
When they reached the hospital, Tommy followed Gabrielle to the information desk.
"David Forester?" Tommy asked quickly.
"Yes, um, room one-twenty," The nurse answered politely.
Before she could continue, the four of them were heading towards the indicated room.
"Wait! Sir? Sir!" the nurse called out helplessly. Quickly, she picked up the phone and dialed an extension.
Another nurse was hanging up the phone when the four of them came around the desk, heading towards the room.
"Excuse me!" she said sharply.
All of them came to a halt.
"I'm here to see my husband," Gabrielle said with equal severity.
"I'm afraid that isn't possible at the moment," The nurse replied. "He's in surgery."
"He's what?" Tommy burst out. "I just talked to the doc not thirty minutes ago?"
He seemed ready to vault the desk and go after the nurse. It was a feeling that Gabrielle and Aphrodite could readily identify with.
"Thomas?" Shilah said quietly. She looked at the nurse. "As you can see, we're all a bit worked up. What's happened?"
"They rushed him into emergency surgery about twenty minutes ago. The doctor asked that you wait here. He will be out with you as soon as possible. I'll make certain he knows that you're all here."
They all filed towards the waiting lounge. Aphrodite hung back a few steps and looked about the place. She shivered suddenly.
"This place is totally, ugh," She commented. "Still, clean white walls and a floor that you could eat off of? This is right up Asclipius's alley? Right down to the Acolytes?"
"They're called nurses,' Shilah said with a quiet smile.
"Yeah, right," The Goddess nodded.
The first minutes passed like hours, the first hour felt like a day. Gabrielle, completely worn down by the stress and strain, finally broke down and wept. Aphrodite sat down next to her and wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulder.
Tommy alternated between sitting and fidgeting nervously and pacing about like a trapped animal. His face was set in an expression of constant concern, while Shilah merely sat, her eyes closed, as if in meditation.
Finally, Gabrielle fell into a fitful sleep, and Aphrodite lowered her gently onto the couch as she got up.
Tommy was in the midst of another pacing fit as he flexed his fingers nervously.
"Hey, big fella?" Aphrodite asked gently. "You okay?"
Tommy nodded his head quickly, though his eyes didn't look in her direction. "I just don't like being stuck here, doing nothing," he mumbled.
"You're not doing nothing," Aphrodite offered, putting a hand on his shoulder.
He looked down at her and smiled. "Thanks."
Then he resumed pacing, in spite of it.
Aphrodite watched him for a few more minutes and then she sighed. "Okay, you're making me dizzy. Come here and sit down."
"Cope," Tommy replied.
Aphrodite seated herself in front of a garish little table. "Sit!" she said more sternly.
Reluctantly, Tommy sat down and looked at her.
"Maybe you can help me with something?" Aphrodite asked. "I'm still trying to figure out why all this happened?"
"What do you mean?" Tommy asked.
"Well," Aphrodite said as she ticked off items on her fingers. "We know David got hurt last year, when he got creamed by that other car. And we know that my lunkhead brother kept him from getting hurt. But we don't know why? Why wait a year – more than a year before doing this? Why not just let him go squish when it happened?"
Tommy winced at that reference.
"Sorry," Aphrodite shrugged in apology. "But it's a good question, isn't it?"
Tommy nodded. "Tell me again about what you saw on the playback?"
"Playback?" Aphrodite asked, frowning.
"The pool thing?" Tommy replied. "Tell me all of it."
It took a bit of coaxing, but Tommy managed to get all the information out of the occasionally absent minded Goddess.
"Wait a second," Tommy said suddenly. "Ares did what?"
Before Aphrodite could reply, Doctor Bastogne came walking into the waiting area, still wearing his blue surgical smock and hat.
Shilah reached over and gently touched Gabrielle's shoulder, startling her awake.
"Mrs. Forester?" The doctor greeted her.
"What happened?" Gabrielle asked. "The – he went in for surgery?"
"He's fine," the doctor replied calmly. "He'll be back in his room in a little bit. There was a complication and we had to go in and operate immediately, but he's fine now."
"What happened?" Tommy blurted.
"Acute appendicitis," Doctor Bastogne replied. "Happens to some people over a period of weeks or months, but in a very few cases, the flare up is extremely fast, and the organ sometimes ruptures within hours of the first attack. In those cases, the results can often be fatal." He looked at Gabrielle calmly. "Your husband had one such attack. If he had not already been in our care, it is doubtful that we would have gotten to it in time to save him. In a strange sort of way, his accident today actually saved his life?"
Tommy actually laughed quietly. "Well, don't that just take the biscuit?"
Gabrielle and Aphrodite looked mildly confused while Shilah merely smiled and shook her head.
"When can we see him?" she asked.
"They'll bring him back in about an hour, after some observation. After that, a couple of days here, and then barring any further complications, we should be able to get him out of ICU and into a regular room."
"Thank you, doctor," Shilah nodded.
The doctor excused himself and the four of them breathed a unanimous sigh of relief.
About an hour later, the nurse came into the lounge.
"He's in his room. You can see him now, but he's still a bit groggy." She announced. "We gave him some medication for the pain, so don't expect him to be too lucid for the time being."
One by one they filed into the small room. There on the bed, both of his legs and his left arm in splints, looking pale and drawn, lay David.
Gabrielle stepped over to his side and sat down on a chair, her hand stroking his hair.
"David?" she asked quietly. "David? I'm here?"
David's eyes opened a little and his head turned to face her.
"Hi," he smiled drunkenly. "What's up?" He frowned slightly, trying to see through the drug induced haze. "This doesn't look like our bedroom? Where we at?"
Tommy stepped up behind her and smiled.
"Welcome back Shakes," he said quietly. "You gave us all a pretty good scare for a minute there?"
"Hey, Big T," David smiled. "You're all wavy and wacky looking right now? What are you doing here?"
"It's a long story," Gabrielle said quickly. "I promise to tell you all about it later, okay?" She kissed him on the cheek. "Right now, you need to relax."
"I feel fine," David said thickly, his speech slurring. "I feel better than fine? Wow, this is some good stuff?"
His head turned and he saw Shilah and Aphrodite looking down at him.
"Wow, the gang's all here," he continued, rambling. He looked at Aphrodite and his smile widened slightly, even as his eyes fluttered closed for a second. "Wow. You look good, Dite? You do this?"
Aphrodite smiled and leaned down close to him. "You betcha, studly. I need you to stick around and keep my girl happy, like we talked about? Remember?"
"You have really pretty eyes, you know that?" David said, still smiling.
Aphrodite smiled. "Oh, yeah. You need to sleep. You're delirious."
"Go back to sleep, honey," Gabrielle agreed.
"That's a good idea," he said, looking back at Gabrielle. "I'm a little beat right now. I think I'll just take a little nap.." His eyes fluttered closed and then suddenly opened wide, filled with a sudden fear.
"You guys'll be here when I wake up, right?" he asked clearly.
Gabrielle kissed him again. "We aren't going anywhere."
"That's good," David smiled. "That's real good. I thought it might all be a dream. If it was, then I didn't…" His voice drifted into soft mumbles and he fell unconscious.
"Why don't you two stay with him," Tommy said to Gabrielle and Shilah. I gotta make a few calls." He looked at Aphrodite. "Come on?"
Aphrodite looked at Gabrielle, who merely shrugged, and then she nodded her head.
"Sure."
Once they were in the hallway, she looked at Tommy with a touch of scorn. "Okay, why don't you want me in there? Afraid I might do something to him?"
"No," Tommy replied easily. "I want to finish our little conversation, but I don't think Gabs and Shilah need to worry about it right now. That alright with you?"
Without waiting for a reply, he turned and headed down the hall. Again, Aphrodite fumed at his lack of reverence, but at the same time, she suddenly realized something that surprised her. As much as she was accustomed to being worshiped for what she was, this whole bit of being treated just like anyone else actually felt refreshing? If he just wasn't so blatant about it, she might even be able to adjust to it?
Still fuming, she followed after the big man.
"So, anyway," Tommy said once she caught up to him. "You and your brother were watching the whole thing on the tube, and what happened next?"
Aphrodite shrugged. "He started laughing and took off, laughing all the way?"
"Did he say anything?" Tommy asked.
The Goddess frowned, trying to remember. "He was laughing like a harpy and said something about a loophole?" She sighed. "I don't know! It's not like I pay much attention to anything he ever says anyway? He's always ranting about like that?"
Caught up in his thoughts as he was, Tommy momentarily forgot who he was talking to. He grabbed Aphrodite by the shoulders and spun her around to face him.
"You need to remember, lady!" He said, and then he let her go and smiled apologetically. "Sorry, but this could be important. What did he mean by loophole?"
Aphrodite was momentarily taken aback, both by his actions and the sudden indescribable thrill that it sent through her. "You're pretty forceful when you get excited?" she mused.. "It's kinda sexy!"
"Aphrodite!" Tommy growled. "The pool?"
The Goddess made a little moan and then frowned in concentration. "He said something like, I knew there was a loophole, or, that was the loophole, no!" She looked at him with wide eyes and grinned triumphantly. "He said that he knew she'd find a loophole! Yeah, that was it! He knew she'd find a loophole!"
"She, who?" Tommy asked.
"You want to know what he was thinking now?" Aphrodite asked. "Hey, buster. I'm good, but I'm not that good."
Tommy growled like a bear and stalked away. As Aphrodite watched him go, the light came on.
"Wait a second!" she called after him. She caught up with him and was practically skipping next to him in excitement.
"There were only two ladies that really got his blood boiling!" She said quickly. "One of them is Eve, but she came to her senses and ditched him! The other one was Xena! Now, she ditched Ares too, but he never stopped trying to get her back! It was like this majorly unhealthy obsession for him?" Then she paused. "No, wait. She's in the hands of those Eastern Gods. It couldn't be her," She looked up at him in surprise. "I don't know? Could it?"
"You tell me?" Tommy replied.
"I don't know?" Aphrodite confessed. Then her grin sprouted again. "But I know someone who might?"
"Is he a friend of Ares?" Tommy asked. "Because we can't risk him finding out?"
"Oh, Ares never bothers with this guy," Aphrodite replied. "In fact, only one of us actually kept him on the payroll!"
Tommy smiled. "Well, let's go talk to him." He said, fishing in his pocket for the keys.
"What are you doing?" Aphrodite asked. "You thinking of driving there? I don't think so!" She looked around quickly. "I can;t do this too much, or Ares might catch on to where we are?"
No one seemed to be watching. Then she grabbed Tommy's arm and the two of them vanished in a shower of gentle sparks.
The next time David opened his eyes, they were crystal clear. He started slightly and looked about.
"What the hell?" he said thickly, fighting off the last of his grogginess. He saw the splints on his legs and arm and felt the dull throbbing of the limbs. He knew that feeling from when he broke his ankle as a child. Both legs and his arm felt the same way. "What am I doing here?" he asked aloud. Something stirred next to him and he looked over to see a mop of blonde hair lying on the mattress next to him.
"Hey." he said in a dry voice. He reached up with his one free hand and gently touched the sleeping figure.
Gabrielle's head snapped up in fright and then she calmed down when she saw him looking at her.
"Hi," David said in relief.
"Hi yourself," Gabrielle replied. "How are you feeling?"
David winced and fumbled for a nearby cup of water. "Thirsty."
Gabrielle grabbed the cup and held the straw to his lips. He drank a little and let his head sink back against the pillow.
"How did I end up here?" he asked.
"Long story," Gabrielle replied. "How are you feeling?"
David sighed. "Like seven levels of hell in a six story building." He saw the tear stains on her cheeks and smiled. "How are you doing? Is the baby okay?"
"We're both doing much better, now," Gabrielle smiled.
"Why? How did we end up back here?" David asked again.
Gabrielle smiled. "It was the only way to save you. Aphrodite helped me get you back to your time where the healers could fix you up."
"Where is she now?" David asked.
"Off with Tommy somewhere?' Gabrielle replied.
"You left Aphrodite and Tommy alone?" David smiled. "Man, I don't know who would get the raw end of that deal?" He chuckled, and frowned when he felt the mild pain. When he lifted the blanket, he saw the gauze bandage taped over his torso, just to the right of his navel. "What the?"
"The Doctor said something about appendicitis?" Gabrielle offered. "They had to rush you into surgery?"
David groaned and relaxed. Then he smiled. "Well, at least they didn't cut off something else? I swear, every time I wind up in the hospital, a part of me never leaves?"
Before David could ask anything else, Doctor Bastogne strode into the room.
"Good afternoon, Mister Forester?" he said pleasantly. "How are you feeling?"
David sighed. "Not as bad as I look, apparently?"
"Actually, compared to what might have happened in that accident, I'm amazed you look as good as you do?" The Doctor replied easily. He stepped to the end of the bed and looked down at David's feet.
"Can you wiggle your toes for me?" he asked.
David winced but managed the task.
"Excellent," The Doctor smiled. "How about your fingers?"
Again, David complied and the doctor nodded.
"And how is the pain?"
David thought for a moment. "Not as bad as I expected, really?"
The doctor nodded again. "That may change over the next few days." He reached over and handed David a small handle with a button. "I've got you on a voluntary morphine drip, just in case. The dull sensations that you're probably feeling are because you did damage your spine. Nothing serious, of course, you should recover completely, but as the swelling recedes, you may start to feel the discomfort from your other injuries. You understand?"
"I think I do," David nodded. "How long am I going to be here, doc?"
The doctor mused for a moment. "Barring any unforeseen complications, at least two weeks. Then we'll send you home, but again, you'll probably be spending the majority of the time in bed. I don't expect you to be ready to move around for at least a month, and then at least another month before you're on your feet again and mobile."
With every step deeper into the murky cave, Tommy became more and more uneasy. There was a gentler thrumming from down below that was growing with every step, and the wind that wafted up in their faces wasn't cool. It was warm and humid. Some of the steps were slick with moisture and other substances that the big man didn't bother to consider.
"You come down here often?" he asked as his foot slipped a bit on a step.
Aphrodite gave a gentle mocking laugh. "Not if I can help it. I'm a spring girl. This place is so fall." She chuckled quietly at the little inside joke.
"So the person we need to talk to is down here?" Tommy asked again for the fifth or sixth time, his eyes glancing back up occasionally.
"What's this?" Aphrodite turned to look at him. "Big guy like you scared?"
"Hey, lady," Tommy shot back. "Every step down is one more closer to Hell, literally."
"Relax you big softy," she waved a dismissive hand. "We're not going any further than the river, kay?" She rolled her eyes.
As they continued down, they felt the heat growing, and the gentle thrum became a distant roar of endless fires. Over the din, they began to discern two things. First, the humidity was constantly rising, and secondly, they could here a harsh voice, mutteringsomewhere below.
"Okay," Tommy said suddenly. He stopped where he was. "That's it! I'm not going any further!"
Aphrodite turned around and looked hard at him. "You're that scared?" she said mockingly. "Maybe they should call you Teddy Bear? Get a grip!"
They came around a final turn in the cavern and the space opened up before them, so vast that he couldn't see the opposite side, even with the benefit of the eternal fires of the Underworld.
Nearby, a single, rotten wooden dock rested, stretching out from the shingles on the edge of a sluggish body of water. Moored at the dock was an old, black wooden boat that seemed built to inspire the finality of life. A deaths head mask was painted on the stern, looking out through a carved hood. Tatters of cloth hung like cobwebs over the entire thing. A single figure moved about inside the small open craft, muttering out loud.
He turned around when he heard the footsteps on the shingle.
"Whoah!" Tommy cried in fright when he saw the figure. It was a man, gaunt and skeletal, with mottled grey flesh and black pits for eyes. He smiled with rotting teeth when he saw them.
"Well, now," He said gruffly. "Things must be slow all over? You walking them down in person now?" He shrugged. "Never mind. Give me the coin and we'll get going?"
Tommy gulped. "Uh, coin? What?"
The man rolled his black eyes skyward. "Is there a sign up there that says 'Free Rides Across The River Styx', or something? You wanna cross? It'll cost you a coin! No free rides, period!" He eyed Tommy more closely as they approached. "Wait a second? You ain't dead!" He looked at Aphrodite. "What is this, tourist season? Why you bringing one of the living down here?"
He looked out at the river and sighed. "They're doing it to me again! Sheesh!" Then he turned back to them. "Look! I don't care how? I don't care why? And I don't care when? But if you ain't dead, then you ain't riding, period! Come back when you're dead!"
"Tommy?" Aphrodite said, gesturing to the man. "Meet Charon."
"Charon? The Ferryman?" Tommy said in horror.
Charon shrugged. 'What? Does it say Charon the Beautician anywhere on me? Look pal, you wanna ride? Three simple steps. Die, pay me, ride, in that order!"
"He's not here for a ride, Charon," Aphrodite replied evenly. "We need some info?"
Charon looked at his moldering robes. "So it says Charon, so bored he'll talk to anyone?"
"Hey!" Aphrodite said sharply. "I need to know if anyone's escaped lately?"
"Escaped?" Charon snorted indignantly. "Obviously you don't know much about the Underworld, do you? This is a one way boat, in fact it's the only boat. This side is the loading zone. The other side is the unloading zone! It never works the other way around!"
"And no one could, I don't know, slip back past you?" Aphrodite replied, raising an eyebrow.
"What am I doing? Talking to myself, here?" Charon replied. He pointed at the boat. "Get on here, get off there, just like that! You got it?"
"Watch the manners with the lady, boy," Tommy said sternly.
Charon laughed and pointed at him, grinning wide. "Ooo, he's got spunk!" He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Okay, this once. Give me the coin and I'll take him straight over, no questions asked?"
"So?" Aphrodite said with a smirk. "No one's ever come through here twice? And no one's ever gone back out?"
"Absolutely! Positively! Not a single one!" He stopped short when he saw Aphrodite's knowing stare. "Okay, fine, there were a couple of very rare exceptions, but I got those orders in writing from the boss, so you can't hold that against me!"
"What about Xena?" Aphrodite asked. "When did she pass through?"
"She didn't!" Charon answered. "Not for the one way trip on my boat, I can tell you that much!"
"You know that for certain?" Tommy asked.
"What am I, a moron, here?" Charon asked himself. "Yes, I'm sure! I remember everyone that I've ferried over to the other side! Every one! And I know that Xena hasn't been one of them! So, thank you very much and have a nice day!"
Charon turned to go, but Aphrodite spoke again.
"But Xena is dead, right?" she asked. "I mean, Gabrielle saw her die?"
Charon turned and laughed. "Well, if Little Gabrielle saw her die, then she must be dead, right?" He said mockingly.
"But you said she didn't come through here?" Tommy asked, beginning to lose his patience. "How could she have died and not come through here?"
Charon looked at them for a moment and then smiled.
"What's it worth to ya?" He asked suddenly.
"What do you want?" Aphrodite asked. When she saw him leer at Tommy, she shook her head. "Besides a passenger?"
Charon thought for a moment and looked around, as if he feared he might be being watched. "Fine! Give me a coin. Something that I don't have to put in the books, and we'll call it a deal!"
Quickly, Tommy dug in his pocket and fished about in his change. He drew out a single penny. He was about to drop it back in and fumble for another denomination when he saw the greedy look in Charon's eyes. Apparently it wasn't the value of the coin that mattered. It was the act of payment that gave him ultimate satisfaction.
He stepped up nervously and dropped the small coin in Charon's hand.
The coin immediately vanished in the tattered folds of his robe and he grinned.
"Okay," he said quietly. "At the last annual S.G.C. shindig, I happened to bump into a couple of those eastern guys!"
"S.G.C.?" Tommy interrupted.
Charon's grin vanished and he looked at Tommy sternly. "Hey, you want information?"
Tommy nodded.
"Then shut up and let me talk!" The Ferryman said.
"Spirit Guides Convention," Aphrodite offered. Then she looked at Charon. "Anyway?"
Tommy shook his head in mild confusion.
"So I bump into a few of these Eastern guys, as I was saying," He fixed Tommy with a pointed look. "And these guys are weird, let me tell you, running around taking pictures of everything? Anyhow, we got to talking shop, you know? Boats versus wings, versus golden paths and the like, and one of them happened to mention that they had gotten a Greek woman mixed in with a really big batch of their own folks!"
"Xena?" Aphrodite asked.
"No, Helen of Troy! Of course it was Xena!" Charon shot back. He took another raspy breath and continued. "Anyway, these clowns were talking about the novelty of having a westerner going through their system, and they got around to describing how things run in their business!" He shook his head. "Compared to my simple operation, they have a revolving door! They were talking about this principle of Kama, or something?"
"Karma?" Tommy offered.
Charon sighed. "You want to let me tell this? Interrupt again and I'll charge you another coin, just for interrupting, so shut up!"
Anyway, we got to talking about this whole Karma thing," He looked pointedly at Tommy again. "And these clowns thought it was a real hoot that this Greek woman was going to end up being reborn! Even if they wanted to keep her, their system doesn't allow it? They were going to have to let her go eventually!"
"Reincarnation," Tommy nodded.
"Whatever," Charon repeated. "So! Xena died over there, and if she's in their system, I probably won't see her any time soon because she's probably already someone's little bundle of joy right now?"
"Someone else's?" Aphrodite repeated.
Tommy's eyes lit up with realization. "Come on!" he said suddenly. "We got to get back!" He grabbed Aphrodite by the wrist, again too excited to think about what he was doing. Then he stopped, reached into his pocket for every last bit of change he had and he dumped the coins into the Ferryman's hands.
Charon's eyes lit up greedily.
"Good meeting you," He said thankfully. "If I know I'm gonna die, I'll be sure to do it in Greece!"
The two of them turned and headed quickly for the stairs.
"Hey!" Charon called back. "You show up on my dock, don't worry about it! I'll just call it a prepaid toll, okay? Hey! You wanna hear my take on this whole Heaven thing?"
But it was too late, the two of them were gone.
"Ah, whatever," Charon muttered to himself, examining the handful of coins with delight. "He'll be back, sooner or later?"
The two of them were still running full speed, amidst Aphrodite's protests when they burst back into existence outside the hospital.
"Will you stop!" She finally cried out. "You ever try to run in heels?"
Tommy stopped and turned to look at her impatiently. "It's not my fault you went for the 'yuppie biker chick' look, now is it?"
Aphrodite sat down and massaged her ankles. "I don't see what the big deal is, anyway. You gave him a pocket full of coins for what?"
"I gave him ninety-five cents for a million dollar answer!" Tommy exclaimed. When he saw the confused frown on the Goddess's face he sighed. "Come on! Put it all together? You can't be that dense?"
Again, the Goddess frowned at him disdainfully. "Why are you so, so, so rude?" She stamped her foot.
"Just focus and put it together, will you?" Tommy replied. "David and Gabrielle zip out of here a year ago. The two of them are doing fine, doing whatever they've been doing? Suddenly, Gabrielle gets pregnant, and right after that, David's warranty expires and everything that should have broken starts breaking?"
"Yeah?" Aphrodite said. "He hurt his back whenHercules was helping him build his house?"
"You sure about that?" Tommy asked. "What about the broken legs and arm? What about his shoulder?"
Aphrodite shrugged.
"The only thing that's changed for certain is that Gabs is pregnant!" Tommy said, since Aphrodite seemed unable to begin the equation. "Now add your 'Ares' little bout of joy at the pool' to what Charon said to us?"
"Okay?" Aphrodite shrugged. "Then what?"
"I'll bet you my next month's salary that Gabrielle is going to have a girl." Tommy finished knowingly.
"Boy, girl, what difference does that make?" Even as she finished the question, her voice faded away as dawning lit up her eyes. "Xena?"
Tommy shrugged. "Ares said you played your part too. He wanted the two of them to get together! You also said that Xena was an obsession for him?"
"Oh wow!" Aphrodite said, rising to her feet. "Oh wow! Oh wow! We have to get up there and tell them!" She ran past him, then she turned back to him, and in the midst of her excitement, she kissed him happily. When they parted, they each looked at the other with a surprised expression on their faces. Aphrodite quickly smiled again, her excitement taking hold once more. "Come on!"
This time, she grabbed his hand and yanked him towards the door.
They burst into the hospital room, just as David was settling down to try and stomach a hospital lunch. He nearly spilled the tray when he jumped in fright. A groan of pain emanated from him, and Gabrielle quickly stepped to his side.
"We got it!" Tommy shouted triumphantly. "We got it!"