Well, this chapter was written sooner than I expected…
And you might all be interested to know that I've even started writing the next one.
Holidays…gotta love 'em. And I'll miss 'em when I have to go back to school on Tuesday…(sigh). Oh well.
Silver Sparklze – Very soon, in fact. And I adore cats myself (explains the three lounging about the house), and I just couldn't help but insert a few in there…
LoonyLoopyLisa – Alive I am! Ta, dear, and yes, soon!
the leviathan – Thank you!
mlovektowsing – Aw, thanks, thanks, and probably thanks again, though it gets a little repetitive…we need more words for thanks…
Semma – Glad you happy. Maybe they should get a name…the Quartet of Evil? Hm, probably not…
fifespice – Thank you, and I cant tell about the kitten yet…see, I have three or four names I like and I'm still choosing…Yep, Rosier's a double spy, and the other three are good guys.
NephyRiddle – Thanks heaps!
saFire flamE – Thanks, and don't worry, I refuse on general principle to put a story on hiatus or to discontinue it (well, most stories anyway) and I'm enjoying the writing of this one too much. It will be completed! Though I don't know when…
mercyangel – Wow, I'm glad I brightened your day! And I'm sure the boys will get around to it…soon.
eaglelinda – Thanks! Its good to know I'm writing something at least somewhat unique…
B Madden – Don't worry, the next prank is right here and so soon I'm impressed with my self!
Shinigami – Harry, oh Harry has an Evil plan in mind, as usual. You're right, Snape-Batman would be hilarious, and I think I will use it sooner or later, so thanks for the idea!
Charming Marauders – Oh I understand about choosing between revision and fanfic, its not a hard choice…though occasionally not a good one. :) Glad you like it and have been converted to Harry/Draco.
Shakespeares Whore – (Happy grin) I love the silliness. Thanks heaps, and I'll get to explaining the Snape and Harry thing…one of these days, anyway.
cRazy-GIrl-3000 – (Sticks tongue out) Thanks, I think. ;) (Checks hair just in case) No, no evil sticky yellow coco pops…would they be vanilla or banana, do you think? Well, possibly related, as in, both food…hm…can I use the evil sticky yellow coco pops of doom in a later chapter? I'm having an idea…
Fire-Hawk-1986 – Well, to start with, thanks. For another, yes I would love a copy of the pic, so I'm going to email you about it (I'm gonna assume it's the one on your profile, cos it didn't come up in the review, which is a bit of a pain, but oh well)
enchantress of the dark – Draco will find out about Felix eventually, don't worry!
centra and insano-girl – oh I know, about the whole two Animagus forms thing, but I couldn't pick which one to use for Harry and at the time it seemed like a good idea…(shrug) oh well. As for the toy, well, I guess Draco has never had a cat before. I don't know about paper bags, but my cats –Kitty and Thumper, named by my brother at five and my dad cos as a kitten he was getting so big- also like boxes. Leo, however, likes the table…
Thanks again to you all!
Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan
By SilverWolf7007
Chapter Twenty-Three – Lime Green Jellified Potions Master
After working out the details of their plans for Severus the next morning, Harry and Seamus had wished Draco, Blaise, Murphy and Draco's still-unnamed kitten goodnight before separating from them and heading to the Gryffindor Common Room.
"Have you picked a name for her, Har?" Seamus asked.
Harry laughed. "No, and it's not likely that I will anytime soon."
He received a rather confused look. "Why not?"
"Took me three days to find a name for Hedwig, and that was when I had all these new interesting sounding names to choose from."
Seamus blinked. "You've still got a whole heap of interesting new names to choose from, you've just got a little more used to them."
"Yeah, but..." Harry shrugged. "Some people get pets that have names, some give them completely random names that they just like the sound of at the time...but I want her name to actually mean something."
"That's...sweet, although kind of random."
"Random is one of my specialities."
Seamus snorted. "Yes, I've noticed."
Hermione, Ron, Parvati, Neville, Lavender and Dean had returned from the library by the time Harry and Seamus got back, and were sitting in the area by the fire that had by default become 'theirs' due to the sixth years' frequent use of it.
Eyeing his roommates almost nervously, Harry followed Seamus over, both of them dropping onto the floor in front of the fire. "Uh, guys?"
The three exchanged glances before Dean spoke up. "Harry, whatever it is, just say it."
"Um, none of you are allergic to cats, are you?"
Six pairs of eyes blinked, while Seamus rolled his eyes.
"I'm not," Neville said finally. "Why?"
Sheepishly, Harry pulled his kitten from where she'd burrowed under his robes. "Long story short, I adopted a kitten."
Simultaneously, five out of six students melted.
Ron, on the other hand, eyed the kitten for a minute before stating, "It's not, uh, related to Crookshanks, is it?"
"Not in the slightest," Harry told him with a perfectly straight face. Seamus flopped backwards so he was lying on the floor, but he didn't comment.
Sighing in relief, Ron reached out and stroked the kitten softly. "Oh good. Because, well, it's cute and all, Harry, but I'm not sure I could sleep in the same dorm as the spawn of Crookshanks."
Hermione glared at him for a minute, but rolled her eyes affectionately as the aforementioned Crookshanks trotted happily over to them and deposited a dead spider in Ron's lap.
Ron groaned and flicked the thing off him. "Ew." He turned to the cat. "Look, Crookshanks, this has got to stop."
Holding back an urge to grin, Harry reached over and grabbed his kitten from where she'd wandered over to examine the arachnid. "He just wants you to like him, Ron. He's giving you a present."
"That's not a present," Ron said darkly. "He's menacing me."
Harry was fairly certain that Ron's continuing inability to at least tolerate Crookshanks would not be conductive to the success of Plan B, and mentally vowed to give his friend a lecture about it...possibly tomorrow. "Whatever. So, no one's allergic to my little one, which means I can take her, transfigure some kind of litter tray, and go to bed. Am I right?"
Receiving several nods, Harry stood up. "Oh, and before I forget..." He pulled out his wand, flicked it at first Hermione, then Lavender, and raced up the stairs, calling "Goodnight!" over his shoulder as he went. Seconds later, just before they heard the door close, they heard what could only be referred to as an evil laugh.
"Lavender," Hermione said evenly. "I don't suppose you have a mirror on you?"
Just as calmly, Lavender pulled a mirror out of her bag and handed it to Hermione, both of them ignoring the snickers emitting from Parvati and the boys.
Hermione sighed. "Well, I suppose it could be worse," she stated.
"Oh? How?" asked a still snickering Parvati.
"Well, for one, it could have been orange," she said, pointedly eyeing Parvati's own hair.
Lavender took the mirror and examined her own hair. Unable to help it, she giggled. "Well, I must say Harry certainly has a sense of humour..." She noticed how the lavender strands complemented her blue eyes. "And, oddly enough, a sense of colour coordination." She looked at Hermione. "And that dark green really brings out your eyes, Hermione."
Parvati nodded. "She's right. I thought they were brown, but they're almost hazel, now the green is there bringing it out."
"Collection complete, I believe," Seamus said calmly. Then he frowned. "Unless Harry wants to get Remus as well..."
The strange part of Draco and Blaise's day began the moment they stepped into the Common Room.
"Oh my god, you turned Harry and Seamus into kittens!"
An utterly confused Draco gave Jason the stare he reserved for crazy people and Trelawney (it was a thin line between the two). "What the hell are you on about?"
Seeming almost panicked, Jason gestured to the kittens the two boys were holding. "Am I right? Is that Harry and Seamus?"
Though Draco was still eyeing Jason, Blaise looked down at the kitten in his arms. "No, I'd have to say this is not Seamus or Harry. Although, his colouring is right for Harry..." Seeing Jason's panic increase, Blaise sighed. "No Jason, we did not turn Harry or Seamus into kittens."
"I don't even want to know where you get these weird ideas of yours, do I?" Draco asked him, shaking his head in amazement.
Jason shrugged, much calmer now. "Probably not, no. So, they got names?"
"Mine doesn't, yet," Draco told him. "Though I've got a few ideas."
"Blaise?"
The white haired boy grinned. "Murphy, this is Jason. Unfortunately, he lives in the same dorm we do. Fortunately, he doesn't snore...much."
"Hey!" Jason protested. "Draco, Blaise is being mean!"
Draco sighed. "Not much I can do to help, Jase. Besides, he's right. You do snore a bit."
Jason just glared.
Seeing a flash of red in the corner, Draco dodged just in time. Maddy's spell missed him by millimetres and accidentally hit fifth year Penelope Parkinson. Pen, who knew the spell Maddy had used and had heard the younger girl use it, managed to grab her jeans before they fell very far down her thighs and quickly pulled them back up.
She turned to the corner a suddenly apologetic looking Maddy was occupying. "Madeleine," Pen growled warningly.
"Pen, I'm really sorry," Maddy assured her. "I was trying to get Draco back - "
The older girl bit back a grin. "Yes, well, that's understandable, I suppose, but still..."
"But still?" Maddy asked nervously.
Pen gave her a sweet smile. "But still I expect you to come with me right now so we can discuss some things."
Not sure whether to be relieved or worried, Maddy followed Pen up to the fifth year girls dorms.
Draco sighed. "I think this is bad."
Jason raised an eyebrow. "How so?"
"Pen's been planning to get back at me for weeks about that whole tap-dancing in a tutu in the middle of the Common Room thing; she's probably up there teaching Maddy the finer points of humiliation of teenage boys."
Unable to see a bright side, Blaise just patted his friend on the shoulder with his free hand.
The first sound on a Monday morning in the Gryffindor sixth year boys' dorm had become quite predictable over the past several months. It was usually a groan of protest as some unfortunate teen (usually Seamus, as he was the only one who tended to leave the curtains around his bed open) was struck by the rays of the early morning sun.
This particular morning, however, was an exception to that rule.
Harry was the first to wake, as his kitten had taken it upon herself to lick his nose quite thoroughly until he stopped half-heartedly swatting her in his sleep and woke up. Silently, without even thinking about anything, he stroked the little furball that was sitting on his chest until she settled down and fell asleep, purring.
Sighing happily, Harry closed his eyes and prepared to go back to sleep.
Suddenly, his eyes snapped open and he gasped. His eyes were immediately drawn to the kitten, but she wasn't what had re-awoken him.
Recalling what had, he began to smirk.
Lifting his left arm, he glanced at his watch, took in the time, blinked, read it again and sighed. "Damn," he stated decisively. "And here was me thinking I didn't have long at all."
Annoyed that he'd been woken so early, but unable to summon enough energy to care, he closed his eyes again.
He found that he could hear a strange humming sound. He pried his eyes open again, pulled his curtains back slightly and looked around.
Neville was sitting up on his bed, reading a thick tome on Herbology (one that Harry had bought him for his birthday), and humming while he was doing so.
Harry closed his eyes and tried to ignore him.
Five minutes later, without opening them he grabbed his second pillow from beside him and threw it with unnerving accuracy at his friend, who let out an "Eeep!" and pulled the pillow away from his face. "What was that for?"
Harry still didn't open his eyes as he replied. "You are humming, Neville. You will stop it, Neville. It's five o'clock in the frickin' morning, Neville. I'm going back to sleep, Neville."
"Um, sorry Har."
"You will be."
Harry went back to sleep.
Two and a half hours later, Harry regretted not pulling his curtains shut again. "I hate mornings," he muttered, shoving his pillow over his head in protest against the sunlight. "I think they should be banned."
"Monday's, at least," Ron agreed, rolling over to face the wall and pulling the covers over his head.
For the sake of their schooling, it was probably a good thing that Neville was a morning person.
For the sake of Neville, it probably wasn't.
Thankfully, on that particular morning Neville had an accomplice in rousing his usual most difficult charge.
"Mrph," a voice muttered from under a pillow. "No. Bad kitty. No pancakes."
The kitten continued nibbling his fingers.
"Evil kitty," Harry mumbled. "Silly little critter. Spawn of evil."
"So it is Crookshanks' kitten, then?" asked a slightly more awake Ron.
Seamus, who was slightly less anti-morning than Ron and Dean, snorted. "Well, yes, Ronnie, you didn't figure that out yet?"
Ron glared, but as he was currently pulling on his trousers, it didn't quite have the menacing effect he intended.
A muffled evil laugh emitting from under a certain pillow suddenly drew their attention, and Harry threw the pillow off, 'accidentally' smacking Neville in the head with it.
Neville sighed. "Again, Harry?"
Harry glared for a moment. "Well, you WERE keeping me awake, Nev. What did you expect?"
"Evisceration," Neville told him.
Blinking, Harry shook his head. "What, that early?" Dismissing the subject, Harry began to smirk.
Seeing it, Seamus couldn't contain his own any longer. "Awake at last, then, Har?"
Jumping out of bed, Harry nodded. The others immediately noticed that he was fully clothed, shoes and all, which temporarily floored them.
"Har?" Ron ventured. "Why are you dressed?"
Neville frowned. "I thought I heard someone leave at about six..."
Harry nodded. "I got back half an hour ago. I had to, uh...do something..."
Snickering, Seamus began lacing his shoes. "Now boys, don't go questioning Harry. You'll all find out what he was up to later on."
"It must be something good," Ron stated.
"What makes you say that?" Harry asked him curiously.
Ron smirked. "Well, it has to be to get you out of bed before seven!"
By the time breakfast was over and the sixth year Gryffindors and Slytherins were heading to Potions, Hermione, Lavender and Millicent Bulstrode were half worried, half curious as to what was going on.
Barring Harry, Seamus, Draco and Blaise, everyone else was just plain curious.
The four of them were just smirking knowingly, Harry and, oddly enough, Blaise occasionally unable to suppress an evil laugh. Draco was allowing his evil snicker free reign, as it unnerved most of the Gryffindors.
For quite possibly the first time in their school career, the sixth years were looking forward to Potions.
The first thing anyone really was able to take notice of and process by the time the class was assembled just inside the door to the Potions classroom was that the room was glowing green. This would later prove to be a result of a strategically placed magical light, but at the present time it just lent a surrealistic quality to the situation.
The furniture had been rearranged. The benches and stools had all been pushed against the walls, as had Snape's.
The most obvious part of the redecorating was the large glass box standing at the front of the classroom. It was about a metre square and two and a half metres high...and it was filled to the brim with very clear, very lime green jelly.
However, once the students had taken all this in, they were able to being to notice the reason that their classroom had gained a new piece of décor.
Professor Severus Snape was inside this glass box. He was wearing nothing more than bright orange flippers on his feet, an equally orange snorkel that was allowing him to see and breathe, and what he had apparently gone to bed in…his black boxers.
As the students watched (and were glared at through the snorkel, causing a certain four students to snort in amusement), Severus attempted to reach the top of the box and pull himself out, kicking his flippered feet to aid himself.
His hands almost managed to grip onto the glass...but at the last moment, the jelly got the better of him and he slid downwards again.
This was, apparently, the last straw for his class, who had, by this time, been keeping from cracking by a very faint attachment to their initial reactions of fascinated horror.
Draco, one of the four barely keeping relatively straight faces, whipped out his camera to add to the photos he had taken earlier, including a few of the students.
Severus, seeing the four of them smirking at him (green-tinted though they were), pointed accusingly and gave them all a very menacing glare...
Well, it would have been menacing if he hadn't been in a glass box of green jelly in his underwear.
Remus had woken that morning and found that someone had pinned a note to his pillow.
It read as follows:
"Dear Remykins,
Just thought you'd appreciate the heads up.
There will be A Wonderful Entertainment down in Sevvie's Potions classroom. Don't bother with the first years you have this morning, come down here instead! They'll get over it, especially once you show them the pictures...
Refreshments on site. Hope you like jelly."
Having read the note, Remus knew that the writer of it was insane for three reasons.
Reason One: He had called Remus 'Remykins' and Severus 'Sevvie'.
Reason Two: He had pinned the note to his pillow and left a small plastic bag of what he had determined to be lime jelly (he had determined this by two very scientific procedures - sniff, then taste).
Reason Three: The letter had to have come from someone who had his password, was currently both at the school and involved in the prank war, and who dared to call Severus 'Sevvie'.
By the above reasoning, Remus deduced that the note was from Harry, who was, of course, insane.
Being that he was a reasonably sensible man (when not experiencing a sugar high), Remus knew that he probably shouldn't abandon his first year class without a teacher.
So of course, he dashed to the staffroom to find someone with a free morning.
Thankfully, Flitwick was free, and also willing, to take Remus's class and didn't mind that the younger man didn't provide an explanation past; "Really need someone to watch my class, I can't do it I'm afraid, something's come up, terribly sorry."
As such, Remus hurried down to the dungeons.
As confused as she was about the entire still not explained spy situation, Sam still had enough wits about her to convince Sirius and Nate to Apparate into the designated Apparition area on Hogwarts grounds as soon as they were clear of the wards around their former prison.
The area was chosen because it was a clearing just inside the Forbidden Forest right beside a very large tree that concealed the entrance to a tunnel into Hogwarts.
The tunnel required a password and had some kind of recognition spell that Dumbledore had devised, and it led straight into a disused classroom in the dungeons. The classroom had been chosen (by herself and Severus after a large amount of searching for a suitable one) because it was large, had no furniture, and had a fireplace that Dumbledore had had connected to the Floo network.
Once they arrived in the room, Sam whirled on Nate and Sirius. "Do I get my explanation yet?" she demanded.
Nate chuckled. "Not just yet, my dear. I suggest we get out of this classroom, for one."
Reluctantly, Sam nodded her agreement. "Come on, we can go to my quarters."
Between the quarters she shared with her husband was his classroom, and as she led the two men along the hall she hoped to sneak a quick peek inside it.
However, before they reached the classroom, they reached Remus, who was running down from the direction of the Entrance Hall.
He skidded to a halt and stared. He blinked. Then, without a word or a glance at Sam and Nate, he launched himself at Sirius and began kissing him senseless.
Sam thought this was perfectly understandable, but nevertheless had no desire to watch. She glanced at Nate, who seemed to share her view...but not her tact.
He looked at his watch, tapped his foot and cleared his throat loudly.
"It won't work," Sam told him.
"Why not?"
She raised an eyebrow.
Nate glanced at the two of them and sighed. "No, I don't suppose it will."
Remus finally pulled back from Sirius and hugged his sister. "Hey Sammy. Good to see you."
"You too, Remy. Now, why were you rushing headlong down here before you saw us?" she asked him, curiosity showing through.
Her brother looked utterly lost for a moment before remembering. "Oh! I got a note."
Three pairs of blinking eyes expressed their lack of comprehension.
"From Harry. I think they've done something to Severus."
Sam immediately looked worried. "Who? What? Why?"
"Harry and his accomplices, a prank, because Severus started a prank war."
Groaning, Sam buried her head in her hands. "Oh why oh why oh why..." She looked up, determined. "All right, let's get it over with. We'll go, you and Siri can laugh - "
"And probably me," Nate pointed out.
Sam ignored him. "And then I can rescue him from whatever has befallen him at the hands of my insane genius godson."
Sirius shrugged. "Well, most of the plan sounds good. Shall we?"
Harry was the first of anyone to calm down, and he happily perched on Severus's desk and peered in at the man. Severus glared. Harry gave him a little wave.
Severus lifted his hands and gave a very good impression of strangling someone. Harry poked his tongue out at him.
Seamus and Draco were currently alternating who got to 'play' with the camera. Blaise joined Harry on Severus's desk and gave his head of house a jaunty wave. Severus just scowled.
"How long do you reckon they'll be able to keep that up?" Blaise asked, gesturing to the still laughing students, most of whom were now collapsed on the floor in their hysteria.
Harry just shrugged. "I have no idea. I don't have much experience with mad laughter that's the result of a jellified Potions Master."
Both boys jumped as the door was pushed open. Remus stepped in and Harry grinned at him.
Remus just smiled back, before catching sight of the glass box and his current war opponent. His jaw dropped as he moved further into the room and got a closer look. "Harry," he breathed. "This is..."
Sirius, Sam and Nate Avery entered the room.
Harry's jaw joined Remus's on the floor in shock. He closed it with a snap, slid off the desk and stalked over to his godparents and the man with them.
Nate lifted an eyebrow. "Hello Harry."
"Nate," Harry greeted with a warm smile. "What do you think of our handiwork?"
The blond man admired the view. "Genius," he declared. "What do you think of mine?"
Harry looked over Sam and Sirius critically. "They seem to be in one piece. Good job."
"Thank you," he replied, rolling his eyes.
Grinning, Harry turned to the other two. "Sam, Siri, good to see you two."
They both managed to pry their eyes off Severus for long enough to trap him in a hug between them. Harry hugged back.
"Great to see you too, Har, but..." Sam trailed off and sent a pained look at her husband. "Did you really have to imprison Sev in jelly?"
Harry seemed to consider the question for a moment. "You know what, Sammy?"
"What?"
"I think I did."
She sighed in frustration and walked over to the box, dodging hysterical teens on the way.
Sirius looked at Harry steadily. "Harry."
"Siri?"
"There is something very important I have to tell you."
"Oh?" Harry inquired with a raised eyebrow.
"Yes," Sirius replied gravely. He looked up at Severus for a few minutes. "Harry," he said quietly. "I need you to know that I'm very disappointed that there isn't any way I can get you the Order of Merlin, First Class for what you have done to Severus Snape on this happy, happy day."
Harry snorted.
SEVERUS: (Glowering at world in general)
VOLDEMORT: (Sulking again) I don't see why you useless bloody minions couldn't have caught the buggers.
AVERY: It's because I'm so sneaky.
SAM & SIRIUS: Ahem.
AVERY: Oh yes, and so are Sam and Sirius…well, somewhat sneaky.
SAM: (Rolls eyes) Prat.
AVERY: Why thank you!
NARCISSA: (Sighs) Voldemort has a point, useless minions.
USELESS MINIONS: (Gulp)
NARCISSA: Mwahahaha!
LUCIUS: Uh, Narcissa…
NARCISSA: (Sweetly) Yes dear?
LUCIUS: (Nervous) Uh, never mind.
NARCISSA: (Shrugs)
SEVERUS: (Still glowering at world in general)
SIRIUS: Aw, lighten up Sevvie!
SEVERUS: (Growls)
REMUS: Siri has a point, old boy. You really need to get over this whole jelly thing.
SEVERUS: I despise you.
REMUS: I'm hurt, really. Besides, it wasn't my idea, and I wasn't the one who stuck you in there.
SEVERUS: Oh, I'm quite aware of that. I despise everyone else involved as well. And Black, just on general principle.
SIRIUS: I'd be offended if I actually cared…
SAM: Oh for gods sake, will you both quit picking on Sev already!
SIRIUS & REMUS: (Exchange glances, turn to Sam) Nope, never, not a chance.
SAM: (Sighs)
TOM: (Snickering) Now come on, Voldie boy, you can't say that seeing Severus in a jelly jar didn't make up for Sam, Sirius and Avery getting away so easily?
VOLDEMORT: (Evil Laugh) Well yes, in fact. I'm even going to delay killing that Potter brat because of it…
HARRY: Really?
VOLDEMORT: No.
HARRY: Somehow, I didn't think so…
Off you go, kiddies, shoo, let me post.
James: Must we?
Yes, you must.
Sylvan: But why?
Because if you don't, I'm going to confiscate the entire contents of your wardrobes…
James: Even…?
(Evil smirk)
Sylvan: You wouldn't!
Wouldn't I?
James: (Gulps) Not my leather jacket…
Sylvan: Nor mine…
James & Sylvan: We'll be good! (Run and stand protectively in front of wardrobe)
Well, that worked.
Please review!
SW