The Shimotos Boarding School

Disclaimer: I GIVE UP! If you don't believe me by this point, you never will!... or will you?

Important Author Note: My screen name will be changing from Corporate Lullabies to DXM Junkie. I'm sick of my old pen-name and I'm telling you this so doesnt delete my stories.

Chapter Sixteen: Her Forever

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The air was so thick that Kagome though she could cut it with the knife. Or perhaps the gun that was currently in Inuyasha's right pocket.

The car smelled of fast food and cigarette smoke. The only sound was the occasional munching by one of her friends, and the engine revving each time they took a corner. Kagome's old cell phone lay in her lap, one hand gently wrapped around it.

She wondered silently what they were all thinking about.

Perhaps the past, memories that they had, or maybe they were simply apprehensive about the present, maybe near future. Since they had left Kagome's drab place of birth, and had met Kagome's slutty drug-addicted mother, they had been generally silent.

Inuyasha and Kikyo both kept glancing at Kagome, a double cheeseburger lying untouched next to her. Her stomach was churning violently in her body, making her nauseous and even more paranoid. She knew that she should just throw up, but she didn't really want to.

Kagome always hated throwing up.

Visions, memories of her past were swaying in her mind. Akira telling her that he loved her well fucking her, bruising her thighs and shoulder blades with his rough movements.

Back then Kagome had just taken it, she had believed him. Now, those thoughts made her want to throw up even more. Sesshoumaru was driving a little over the speed limit, Rin clutching his right hand tightly.

She was scared, and everyone knew it. Hell, they were all a little freaked. Sango was afraid for what might happen to Kagome, Miroku was afraid of something really bad happening well inside his place, Sesshoumaru was afraid for Rin and Kagome as well, Kikyo was frightened of this Akira person, and Inuyasha was afraid that he might have to use the gun. Weather in self-defense, or otherwise.

Kikyo let out a sigh as the drabby scenery of inner Tokyo passed by in a blur. Lights and electric poles danced around, making her feel drunk in the night. Sango was glancing around at everyone, trying to think of someway to break this ever awkward silence.

"God damn!" She suddenly shouted making everyone, including Sesshoumaru, jump slightly. "I wanna fucking shave my legs!"

Kagome gave a smile and Rin giggled. Kikyo looked amused and the stoic brothers just chuckled. Miroku beamed at her, but quickly looked away when he felt his cheeks heat up.

He really did like Sango a lot, and he was proud of her for making Kagome smile in such a tense situation.

He, more than anyone could understand, was very akin to Kagome in such a situation. When Miroku had been younger, he had found out that his brother, Kirara, had been abusing his girlfriend, a sweet girl by the name of Yuka.

Miroku had practically killed his brother trying to peel Yuka out of his grasp on the night he had found out. It was a memory that wouldn't die in his mind. It had shocked him to his core, and he almost hated Kirara for it.

That was almost two years before he had even gotten into the trouble that had eventually got him into Shimotos. He was rather thankful he was in that boarding school though. He got to meet so many awesome people, and he got to meet Sango.

Sighing, he told himself that now was not the time to be thinking of that sort of thing. Right now he should be focused on helping Kagome through this, saving this girl he had never met from a guy he had never met.

: "I can't let Akira hurt anyone else. I just can't.":

Never had he heard Kagome sound so shaken up. Well, she never ceased to shock him after all. He hadn't told anyone else this, but right before they had left the boarding school, on that night Kagome and Inuyasha had snuck out of the school to rent movies, he had seen Kagome's wrists.

He couldn't begin to fathom why should would mutilate herself like that, or why she was starving herself like she did, but he had a feeling that there was so much about Kagome that he didn't know.

He had a vague sense of worry wrap around him. This Akira guy, he had obviously done more to Kagome then they knew. He had probably scarred her far deeper than they could possibly imagine.

Leaning against the window, he noticed that the houses they were passing were getting closer together, and a bit nicer. They seemed to be apartments for middle-class working people. He hadn't expected that this guy would live in a nice place.

"Sesshoumaru, turn right up here." Kagome told him, startling everyone. Her voice had not been heard in a long while and it was oddly distant to everyone. As if she was living a dream that she just couldn't wake up from.

Maybe she didn't want to wake up from it.

"It's the house on the left." She then said after he had turned. The house was decent enough, just your average place. There was a fuku on the front porch and a pair of shoes outside. A bunch of male laundry was hung from the line outside to the right and a black moped bike was sitting with a lock around it.

It didn't look like a place that anything criminal was happening.

"Looks can be deceiving." Kikyo stated, after they had pulled over on the other side of the street, two houses down as to not look suspicious. "Your right." Inuyasha replied, nodding at Kikyo.

She gave him a nod, and both Rin and Kagome could tell that Kikyo and Inuyasha had finally resolved that bitter hate that had started way back when Kikyo was telling everyone she was dating Inuyasha.

That seemed so long ago, and it had only been 7 or so months. Back before Naraku and Nona's farewell party, and back before Kagome seemed truly fucked up. Back when getting stoned and watching anime was just fine for your Friday night.

'At least that issue is closed.' Kagome though for a moment, before starring down at the cell phone, almost willing it to ring. She was so worried; she could feel her neck stiffen. She wondered what must be running through Nami-san's head right now.

"You know…" Kagome mused, not even realizing that she was speaking out loud, "She must be so scared right now. Trapped by a man who could have his way with her at the drop of a hat. She must hate herself, wonder what she ever did to deserve this, second guessing herself and probably making herself believe that she does deserve this.

Everyone has there sin's I guess, but I don't think that she could have done anything that was punishable by this situation. No, it isn't possible…"

Everyone paused, wondering if Kagome was done ranting until Kikyo broke that short silence, "Do you think you deserved it?" she asked softly.

A tear rolled down Kagome's face. One single tear. She was shaking now, her whole body trembling. Inuyasha wanted to hold her so badly, but he wasn't sure if he should. He wanted to hear what she had to say.

"I'm such a shitty person, you know? Fucking all those guys like a slut, doing drugs just to feel something, anything, I lie, cheat, steal, and pull pranks, completely disregarding what other people go through and feel.

When Kikyo was hitting on Inuyasha and we were so cruel to her, I was so cruel to her, I felt like such a fucking bitch! I knew exactly what it felt like to be so utterly humiliated, but I did it anyone, I didn't stop it. I could tell what she was going through, but I didn't bother to help until it involved me personally!"

Kagome was all out crying now, her voice quivering with each sob. It broke Sango's heart to see someone as headstrong as Kagome cry like this, but it tore Inuyasha's heart right out of his chest to see the girl he loved with his entire heart tear herself up. Kikyo just looked paler than normal and Rin was close to tears.

"I did deserve it!" She finally screamed, "I should be where Nami is right now! I deserved all those times he beat me and raped me and starved me! I deserve it because I'm the most horrible person I have ever known! I didn't deserve to be saved or loved! I should have died back when he broke my neck! I should have just fucking died!"

Inuyasha finally threw his arms around her, not being able to take it, and held her tightly to him. Kagome gripped his sweatshirt, her nails digging into his flesh slightly.

"Kagome…" Kikyo said quietly, barley above the sound of Kagome's sobs, "No, you don't."

Sango nodded, now understanding just how Kagome truly felt. She felt rather stupid as well. 'What kind of best friend am I that I completely ignore what's right in front of me? I knew something was wrong, but I just thought that Kagome was so strong that it would work out. How could I think that? She was breaking each day, eating herself away inside with guilt!'

Miroku reached over and grabbed Sango's hand, well Kikyo continued. Everyone else stayed quiet, Sesshoumaru was feeling rather out of place too.

"Kagome… have you ever loved with all your heart? Have you ever looked in someone's eyes and felt that you could drown in them forever?" Rin wondered how that had anything to do with this, but she figured that Kikyo knew what she was talking about.

When Kagome didn't answer, Kikyo kept going, "That love makes your heart burn and sometimes ache… you wonder if you're ever worth it, when so many other people are suffering.

Everyone else around you can be unhappy, but you're doing fine because you have someone. You start eating yourself away inside and start feeling depressed, despite the fact that you have nothing to be depressed about.

You feel that maybe it was just a dream. How could life have been that good to you? How could it have been real? Kagome, I see that love in your eyes, for everyone around you… You're so amazing, and you don't realize it.

After all you have been through, and all you have seen, I wonder how you can even pick yourself up in the morning and paste on that smile and even pretend like everything's ok.

When Naraku was beating me, I could barely get up, but you know what? You managed.

You somehow managed to do what I couldn't.

You stronger than you think. You've felt more than anyone could know. You've loved, hated, and felt pain beyond most people's imagination. Kagome, those experiences may hurt now, they may just linger in your mind and pull you down, but they are assets. They make you an honest person.

You wouldn't lie if you thought something was going to happen to someone you cared about. If Sango started dating some jerk who you knew was bad, you would just fuck around; you'd tell her because you care.

You do drugs, drink, but don't you also bleed like everyone else?

You may not think that your equal to everyone, but you are, your actually above. How many people can look back and think, 'I survived.' How many people can have friends around them and wistfully wonder 'How did I ever make it through?'"

Kikyo paused and we her lips, "Kagome, when you knew something was wrong with Nami, a girl who you don't even know, how long did it take for you to fly to her rescue? 2, maybe 3 moments?"

Kagome was looking at Kikyo now, still held tight in Inuyasha's arms. Her face looked pail, and her eyes looked puffy, but she was finally not crying. She looked so frail surrounded by Inuyasha's big sweatshirt, but it was also adorable.

He was staring at her so lovingly that he looked almost like her guardian angel.

"Kagome, your loved, and your worth being saved." Inuyasha said gently, reinforcing what Kikyo was saying. Rin then reached out and grabbed Kagome's hand. Sango then flung herself at Kagome and put her face by Kagome's neck. Miroku reached up and scuffed her hair.

"Kagome, you think you're alone, but your not. Were here for you, and we wont be leaving, even if you force us too. We'll walk through hell with you because you would do the same for us." Miroku said.

Kagome nodded, silently, holding everyone closer.

Did she really deserve to be so loved? Was this her atonement for such a hard life up to the boarding school?

Suddenly, a cell phone rang out on her lap and Kagome looked down. Her old phone was vibrating with the now familiar name, Yashiro Nami.

Kagome took a deep breath and picked it up, ready to answer it.

"It's time."

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Next Chapter: Atonement