Come Back

Chapter Three

The Questions Start

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Harry never wanted their embrace to end. Just being there with the people he loved felt so good. He felt like a person again, like he belonged somewhere. And for the few minuets that passed during his welcome he had completely forgotten why he even left in the first place. A life that seemed so wonderful and inviting, how could any person run away from this? He almost felt as if he had only been away on a nice vacation, and they were all just happy to have him back. Nothing bad ever happened; there was no war, no Voldemort, only them and this family.

After everyone got through many rounds of hugs, tears, and hearty slaps on the back Mr. Weasly finally said, "Why don't we all go sit down in the kitchen and have some tea."

"Excellent idea Arthur." Beamed Mrs. Weasly. "Ginny, Ron, why don't you help with some glasses." and she pushed them all into the kitchen.

Mr. Weasly had insisted that Harry take his seat at the head of the table, while everyone sat themselves around the sides. Mrs. Weasly, Ron, and Ginny started setting out cups and steaming kettles of Tea. And it wasn't until they all sat down, and passed around a plate of biscuits did their conversations begin.

The moment Harry had been dreading was now upon him. This was the one reason it had taken him so long to find his way home. He did not want to explain his absence; he wanted to forget that final night. To lock away his thoughts and hope they never resurfaced. But there was no avoiding it, this conversation had to happen. He needed them to understand why he did what he did. Even if it meant dragging up the past she so desperately wanted to forget.

Harry took a deep breath and said, "Alright, I think its better that I tell you want I can, and then you can ask me questions."

Ginny who was sitting to Harry's left gently grabbed his hand and said, "Its okay Harry, take your time."

Harry felt a rush of gratitude towards Ginny for her kindness. There was a whole other conversation whirling around his head that he had been thinking about for some time. But this one meant that only he and Ginny would be present. What he wanted to tell her would have to wait for another day.

"So…" began Harry. "First of all I need to apologize for the way I left. I never intended to just leave but at the time it was the only thing that made sense to me. When I killed Voldemort…"

Harry was surprised to see that no one shuddered at the sound of Voldemort's name like they once did. He was no longer a danger to be feared, he was now a name in history books that would one day be forgotten completely, which to Harry, was how it should be.

"…I was frightened; I felt a power in me that was unlike any other. I had killed a man, evil or not, I killed. I freaked out and ran for it.Hagrid tried to stop me but I was to fast for him. I finally stopped running right outside of Hogsmead, in those caves where we once meet Sirius." At this he looked up at Ron and Hermione and they nodded in reply.

"I hung out there for awhile, thinking about Sirius and how much I missed him. I'm not real sure how long Iwas out there, it seemed like days. But when I finally got the courage to go back into Hogsmead to see the aftermath, everyone was gone. All that was left was the dead, Death Eaters and Order members. I completely lost it. Lupin, Charlie, Bill…I just couldn't take it."

Harry buried his face in his hands and felt his eyes welling up with tears, an action that had happened too much for to long. Whenever he thought about the destruction the tears would come, then days of sadness followed. These were the memories that he had been pushing back, fighting with all his mite to forget. He wanted it all to be a bad dream, to make it go away. He feared that the only way to finally ease the pain was to share what happened to his friends, so he continued.

"Anyway…" he said drying his eyes. "There I was, alone, looking around at everything when one of the Death Eaters moved. It was Lucius Malfoy, he hadn't been killed, only stunned."

Ginny jumped and took Harry's hand once more. "But Lucius was one of the reported dead Death Eaters! He's not still alive is he?"

"Well, he was Ginny. I'm getting to that. By the time I realized he was alive, he jumped onto his feet and pointed his wand at me. I thought he was going to jinx me, or kill me. But he simply looked at me and said, you better run boy, because if you stay around here I'll make sure that everyone you have ever loved will suffer a terrifyingly painful death."

"I was in an extreme emotional state as it was, I wasn't thinking clear, so I ran, as fast and as far as I could. I had just seen people I cared for slain by the hands of death eaters. I wasn't about to sacrifice the rest of you, I couldn't do it; I didn't have the strength to fight them nor the energy."

"But Harry…" started Hermione. "You know that we would have protected you, and the rest of us."

"I know that Hermione, I thought about that after I had calmed down and came to my senses. I came back here to find you all but you had gone. I assumed that you were looking for me or had gone into hiding from the remaining Death Eaters. But when I got here, Lucius was right behind me."

Ron shuddered slightly, "He was here, in our house?"

"Yes, he followed me and I didn't know it. He put the Cruciatus Curse on me then picked me up and threw me into the back yard. He asked me what I was doing here, that he told me to stay away or he'd kill you all. So I made a deal with him. That if he let me write you one last note that I'd leave and never come back."

"Oh Harry, you didn't." said Mrs. Weasly.

"I did, I felt that I had no choice. It was either stay and watch you all die, or leave you all forever. The ladder was much more appealing at the time, so I left. I just walked everywhere all I had was a small pocket of gold so I walked to London into Diagon Alley, picked up a few things, and some more money. I had bought a cheep broom so I could fly at night but I walked during the day. The worst part was that Mr. Malfoy followed me. Every time I stopped somewhere he would show up and we'd fight. He almost killed me several times, and there were times I wished he would and get it over with." Harry went on feeling his heart lighten with each breath he took.

If did feel good be getting this all out, to finally let someone know all of his troubles. But he was still saddened at the look on all of there faces. They pitied him and he wished they wouldn't.

"So how did you finally get rid of him Harry?" asked Fred.

"Well, that happened about seven months ago." Began Harry again.

George piped up, "He followed you that long!" Mr. Weasly put a finger to his lips to signal his son to be quite.

"Well, now this is the amazing thing, and I still can't explain it. But I found Hedwig, she was badly beaten up, but it was unmistakably her. I was in France somewhere when I found her, or she found me rather. She had a note tied to her leg that she had been holding onto for over a year. It was from Hagrid. All the letter said was that he hadn't given up hope and he was still looking for me. But something was odd about that letter; it gave me the same feeling that Phoenix song used to give me. I felt inspired and powerful. So instead of going on, and running, I put my things down and waited for Lucius to find me."

"You did what?" asked Ginny now sitting on the edge of her seat as if she was watching an exciting television program.

"I got tired of running Ginny. I couldn't take it anymore, I needed it to end, and I needed him to leave me alone. So he came and I was ready for him. It was over in a matter of seconds. All the hate and rage I felt towards him was nothing for what he felt for me. And he was weak, and looked old, worn out. I shot the killing curse at him one time, and he was gone."

"You killed him?" said Hermione with tears in her eyes. "Oh Harry."

"I know Hermione. I could hardly live with myself; I had now killed two people. But it was out of self defense both times and I don't regret it. I've thought about it a lot the past seven months and I don't regret it."

"But Harry, there's one thing I don't understand." Said Mr. Weasly, who had removed his glasses and was cleaning them with a napkin. "If this happened over seven months ago, why is it that you are just now getting back to us?"

Harry felt a slight pang of guilt at Mr. Weasly's question. He debated weather or not he wanted to tell him the truth or not. He felt it may hurt them if he did, but he thought it was better in the long run to get it all out.

"Well, first of all, I had no idea where I was so I started walking again. I walked to the nearest town, this small little village in France. I never could pronounce the name correctly. It was there that I slept in a bed for the first time since Hogwarts. I spent a few weeks in a small Inn recovering from everything. I was low on gold so I took a job at the local store. Of course this was a muggle village but I didn't mind. It was nice to be with people who had no idea who I was."

"During my time there I started to think about things, about everything actually. And it took me a very long time to realize that I needed to come home. I thought the whole wizarding world would be mad at me for leaving them, and I built this fear up in my own mind. It wasn't until I meet this French wizard, did I see that it was time to face my fears. He invited me to his house and let me use his fireplace to floo to London. I wanted to see Hogsmead so I caught the train there, and I'm staying at the Inn in Hogesmead. I hopped on my broom today, and here I am."

"Well, I know one thing." Said Molly standing up. "You will go back to that Inn and collect your things. You're staying with us and no arguments."

Harry beamed at her, "Mrs. Weasly, I wouldn't have it any other way."