Chapter inspired by my little pewter snake, whose name cannot be disclosed due to his embarrassment, and also because it's in the chapter.
Silver Sparklze – Thanks! And there was…a site. Yep, a website. For pet names. I found it through google back when I first put the kittens in, and there were three names I liked…this is the one I picked.
LoonyLoopyLisa – Hee hee, thanks. Well, I doubt he'll kill them, exactly… and yay for singing snakes. Sorry I confused you though…if you've got specific questions, ask 'em and I'll try to answer.
Charming Marauders – Heh, laughing all night? Hope you went well in your exam, thankfully mine have all been over as of yesterday! Now I'm free of the damn things till…oh dear. November…
mateja007 – uh, genius? (blushes) thanks…
Lil Irish QT – Glad you enjoyed it!
fifespice – glad you liked it and Sevvie will definitely be getting Harry back. Oops, sorry I confused you too! If you have any questions you want me to answer about that, ask me and I'll try.
mercyangel – (giggles) Thanks! And oh yes, the boys will have to make Sevvie suffer after what happens to them in this chapter and the next!
Kudostalker – Thanks heaps, and don't worry, I'll definitely keep writing!
Dark-One Shadowphyre – Ahhh, hm, I haven't had tea yet, might have to find some toast and a certain jellified Potions Master…thanks! Glad you enjoyed yourself…
Infinite13 – Heh, thanks!
musicgirl141 – Hee hee. And thanks, I like Kearia too.
Semma – (Grins) Wonderful to see you enjoying yourself…
cRazy-GIrl-3000 – Harry adores his herrings…And Sevvie's not sure what to think when it comes to Harry and Draco. I'm sure he'll get it eventually. Unfortunately the Evil Sticky Yellow Coco Pops of Doom didn't make it into Sevvie's bed, nor into this chapter. They'll be in the next one though.
Shinigami – I honestly don't know if Harry was inspired by Lav, it just seemed the right thing to do at the time… and hey, the spy thing was confusing me too. I had to sit down with a piece of paper and work it out, took me about 20 minutes to decide who and where and on which side everyone was. Sevvie's robes are now all very scary colours, such as pink, orange, yellow (all ones he wouldn't be caught dead in, you see). (Shudders) Oh, poor Barney-Sevvie… Well, Tom and Voldie…no idea. They're just…there. Tonks and her mother will show up somewhere eventually, and Siri and Remy…they'll probably be collected eventually! ;-)
DeppDRACOmaniac – Thank you! And don't worry, Sevvie will make Harry suffer…
Lady-Crymsyn – Thanks.
I-Shave-Clowns – People keep calling me a genius…don't know why. (Eyes Bobby-Top-Hat) Thanks! You're right, he is good at cleaning. But he keeps leaving the balloon animals where he's been cleaning….
Cricketpoor – Thanks, glad you like it! And they're my favourite pairings as well.
Kitty Maxwell-Yuy – Oh dear, that's a while to have been laughing…two chapters, in fact. (Grins) Glad you enjoyed!
mars explorer – Heh, thanks.
mlovektowsing – Funnier and funnier, huh? Well, that's certainly good to know!
TheSniggleRulz – Thank you. Originally the godmother thing was an accident, but I figured they both could be and mentioned it in this chapter. I mean, I have two godmothers, why cant Harry? So yes, thanks again for reminding me about it, I'd forgotten! Oh, and I love your name, by the way.
elfseamus – Thanks for all three reviews! Glad you like it, and no, romance wouldn't hurt…I'm getting there, don't worry!
bmc – Thanks. You too, huh? I felt the need for some laughs myself, so I've been spending the past few days getting this chapter done, and also doing some fanfic reading…
So yes, thanks again everyone! Onwards to the chapter!
Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan
By SilverWolf7007
Chapter Twenty-Five – Intimidation Tactics, Tap-Dancing, and Herrings of All Kinds
The rest of the day passed without incident. Having decided over dinner to meet in the library, Harry, Seamus, Draco and Blaise discussed this at a table near the back, over books on human Transfiguration and morphing potions.
"I don't like it," Harry stated. "It's far too quiet. Sevvie should hexed us all to Egypt seven times over by now."
"I know," Draco said pensively. "I've been expecting to be turned into something slimy since lunch."
"Intimidation tactics," Blaise declared. "He's just trying to scare us."
"Well, it certainly seems to be working," Seamus said, rolling his eyes. "And no matter what his tactics, we can't let our guards down - the second we do, he'll know, and then..."
"Sliminess."
"Why slimy, Draco?" Blaise asked. "Why not fuzzy, or pink, or bald?"
"Bald!" Draco yelped, hand flying to his head. "Oh god, I didn't even think of that!"
Harry gave him a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, I don't think he'd remove your hair."
This calmed Draco, so Harry pointedly neglected to point out all the other things Severus might do to the blond's hair.
After another two hours of talking and 'studying' their chosen topic, the four boys decided to keep an eye on the Potions Professor, especially after he'd gone to bed that night, before they headed to their Common Rooms.
It wasn't until he and Seamus had reached Gryffindor Tower until Harry realised the significance of one particular thing that had happened that day.
"Oh damn."
Seamus turned to him and frowned as he saw how pale his friend had gone. "What's the matter, Felix?"
"I've just realised something."
"What?"
"Sam's back."
"So?"
Harry turned to Seamus with an expression of utter dread. "Well, after a weekend in the clutches of the Death Eaters and then what was probably a tiring escape...who do YOU think is going to go to bed first?"
Seamus gulped. "We really are going to die."
"This time, I have to agree."
Later that night, as he was about to get into bed, Draco realised that same thing. Somehow, in his horror he managed to trip on the edge of his bed, and ended up sprawled across the floor.
Blaise and Jason looked down at him, and the white-haired boy raised an eyebrow. "Draco, what are you doing on the floor?"
Making no effort to get up, Draco replied in a despondent and somewhat muffled by the carpet voice. "I'm staying down here until the storm blows over."
"What storm?" Jason asked in confusion. "You mean Snape?"
"In a way," Draco allowed, still muffled. "Sam's back, Blaise. She'll probably be tired, Blaise."
Blaise's eyes widened in dawning realisation. "She's going to go to bed and discover that little gift you left Professor Sevvie."
Jason managed to put the gist of the situation together from what they'd just said. "I think you guys are pretty much doomed."
"I don't doubt it," Blaise replied.
By the end of the day, Sam was exhausted. Thankfully, the snakes that were once Severus's hair had fallen asleep not long after dinner, and Harry had privately assured her that they would stay that way until breakfast.
She left her husband in the lounge area in front of the fire, where he was attempting to change the colours of his robes (especially the lurid pink outfit that she was certain Harry had modified).
Changing quickly, she headed towards the bed, turning the lights off as she went.
Sam pulled back the covers and slid into the bed.
Her eyes widened in horror and she flicked her wand, restoring light to the bedroom.
The bed was full of lime jelly and…herrings.
She screamed.
Severus was failing miserably at fixing his clothes. Whatever Harry had done appeared to be irreversible.
Annoyed, he threw the pink robes into the fireplace, where they immediately burst into flame.
He had just lifted his mug of hot chocolate to his lips when a loud scream shattered the previous calm of the dungeons.
Swearing violently as his drink went everywhere, Severus leapt to his feet.
Before he could go any further, however, Sam appeared in the doorway to the bedroom, dripping with jelly and, he noticed with a frown, smelling slightly of fish.
"What happened?"
"Those insufferable brats filled the bed with jelly and herrings," she growled. "I know I said I wasn't going to get involved with this prank war, but..."
Severus began to smirk faintly. "But you've changed your mind?"
"Yes, I have," she replied. "And I agree, those four are going down."
The next morning, Neville nearly died of shock when he pulled Harry's curtains back and found the other boy sitting on his bed fully dressed with his kitten in his lap, stroking her absently as he flicked through his charms textbook.
"Morning Nev," Harry offered, looking up with a small, somewhat nervous smile.
Neville immediately sat down beside his friend with a worried frown. "Harry, you know you can tell me anything, right?"
Harry eyed him in confusion. "Of course. Why?"
"Well, not only are you up this early, but you look kind of nervous."
"Ah," Harry replied succinctly, turning back to his book and flipping to the next page.
"Har?"
"I'm fine, Nev. Promise." He winced. "Though, I don't think I'll be able to say the same thing by the end of the day."
"Want to tell me what's got you so stressed, then?"
"Sam."
"Snape's wife? What about her?"
"She's going to kill us, of course," answered Seamus cheerfully, appearing at the other side of Harry's bed.
"Geez Finnigan, don't do that!" Neville yelped. "And why is she going to ki - oh no," he groaned, suddenly realising. "You did something in Snape's rooms planned for him that you think will have happened to her instead...something to the bed?"
Harry nodded miserably, abandoning all pretence of reading and dropping his charms book onto the bed. "Draco filled it with jelly."
"And Harry added herrings," Seamus added grimly. "We're going to be killed. Damn I'm glad we don't have potions today."
"No," Neville said with dawning horror on behalf of his friends. "But we do have Care of Magical Creatures this afternoon, and Hagrid's still not back."
Seamus gave a strangled scream and dived head first onto the bed, burying his head under one of Harry's pillows.
Harry gulped. "Right, I'm making a mental note not to think about that until at least lunch. I need a distraction..." Suddenly he smirked. "Nev?"
"Yes, Harry?" the other boy replied warily.
"So tell me, my friend, what was going on with you, Pansy and that Jarvey last lesson?"
Neville went bright red as Seamus emerged from under the pillow with a curious expression on his face. "I don't know what you mean," he declared.
Seamus snorted. "Sure you don't. That's about as likely as Harry, Fred and George giving up pranking and becoming model citizens working in the Ministry's most tame and boring jobs."
"I've always wanted to work in the Department of Herpetology," Harry said dreamily.
"Har, there are a couple of things wrong with your continuation of my embarrassing Nev," Seamus began. "One, well, the Department of Herpetology doesn't actually exist."
"I could be the founder," Harry argued with a pout.
"Well you could," Neville allowed. "But another thing, a department focussed on studying reptiles wouldn't exactly be tame and boring, especially not for you."
Harry just glared at them both before turning to Neville with a bright smile. "So, you were telling us about how you fancy Pansy, I believe?"
"Shut up, Harry."
"But Nev, we really wanna know," Seamus whined.
"Well, I'm not telling."
"Please?"
"No, Harry."
"Aw, c'mon Nev, don't be such a spoil sport!"
Neville eyed his currently silver haired friend with consideration. "Tell you what," he suggested. "You tell me what's going on with you two, Malfoy and Zabini, and I'll tell you about Pansy."
Seamus and Harry exchanged a glance.
"No?" asked a smug Neville.
Harry smirked. "Well, no. But don't you worry, Neville, I will find out...and you know it."
"That I do," Neville agreed. "Which is why I'm not going to tell you."
"I don't get it," Seamus muttered.
"I'm going to make him find out for himself...its more fun for me that way."
"Except the knowledge that wherever you go, there's a possibility that Harry's spying on you."
Neville grinned. "True. But that's a possibility any day, a probability in most cases."
Seamus snickered. "So true, so very true."
Harry sulked.
"What's wrong with you this morning?" Lavender asked, noticing the sullen expression on Harry's face as he followed the other boys down from the dorm.
She merely received a pout.
"Okay..."
"Don't mind him," Dean told her with a shrug. "He's been like this since Ron and I woke up - I think Neville and Seamus were picking on him again."
Harry just nodded, sending the two boys in question a glower.
"Oh, Har," Parvati sighed. "You know they don't mean it, whatever it was."
"We did too," Seamus argued. "We were stating pure facts. Harry has a slight tendency to spy on people."
Hermione patted her friend on his silver hair. "There there, Harry. But really, they are right."
Harry poked her in the arm before smirking and darting out of the Common Room.
Ron blinked. "I swear, that boy gets nuttier every day."
It wasn't until Sam awoke the next morning that the second part of the prank on the bed made itself apparent, and she found herself wondering which of those four brats - er, boys, would be her first victims.
She didn't actually have anything against the animal in question. No, that wasn't the problem.
"Of course, I don't see how this would have gone with your hair and skin, Sev," she observed, looking at herself in the mirror.
Severus was standing behind her attempting to keep a straight face. So far, he was failing miserably. "You're probably right, Sammy. But I don't think coordination is really what the boys had in mind."
"You're right, of course."
Her ears were itchy. They twitched. Severus snorted.
"Shut up."
"Well you have to admit, love, it is kind of - "
"I said shut up, Severus," she repeated in a deadly tone.
He gulped. "Yes dear."
Not wanting to risk her wrath any further, and still completely unable to not laugh, Severus turned on his heel and headed back to their bedroom, hoping to either find another decent set of robes or to just run a quick cleaning charm over the purple ones from yesterday. Unfortunately for him, the house elves had taken the purple robes, and he had to resort to searching his cupboards.
Sam, on the other hand, was already dressed in dark pink robes and was currently staring at her reformed ears and her new appendage in the mirror.
Having left before the others, Harry arrived at the Great Hall quite a ways ahead of them. Ignoring the Gryffindor Table for the time being, he crossed the room to the Slytherin Table and sat down between Draco and Pansy, both of whom turned and raised an eyebrow at him.
He smiled brightly. "Morning!"
Draco blinked. "I thought you hated mornings."
"I didn't say good morning, now, did I?"
"Well, I suppose not."
"Draco, I think we have a little problem," Harry told him, expression sombre.
"Yes, I know," the Slytherin told him with a similar expression. "Sam is going to kill all four of us for what we put in her bed."
Harry nodded miserably. "Not to mention the charm..."
Draco shuddered. "I was trying not to remember that part, Har."
"Sorry Dray."
"What was the charm?" Pansy asked, looking from one boy to the other. Neither replied, so she looked across the table to Blaise. "Well?"
The white haired Slytherin winced. "I don't think we should talk about it here..."
She glared at him. "Oh come on, it's not like she wont know it was you!"
"All right," Harry sighed, trying to hide a suddenly appearing smirk. "We'll tell you if you tell us what's going on with you and Neville."
She smacked him around the back of the head. "I don't want to know that badly!"
"Drat! Foiled again!"
Remus was in shock. He felt he had several good reasons for being in such a state.
Reason one was that Severus's hair, while still asleep, was now snoring to the tune of Incy Wincey Spider, and the man had evidently been unable to find any 'decent' robes, and was currently attired in an electric blue set that matched his snakes but clashed with his green skin.
Reason two was probably the more prominent reason.
He was aware of his sister's fondness for the colour pink, and had equated it with her fondness for Severus - distasteful to him, desirable for her, and something he could do nothing about. So he didn't mind the pink robes.
No, it was the effects of what he assumed was part of the boys' spells accidentally affecting the wrong person that had really caught his attention.
Sam's ears had changed shape and moved to the top of her head. Remus noted absently that they were almost identical to Pixie's.
She had also gained herself an additional appendage. It was long. It was black. It was fluffy. And it was attached to the base of her spine...
Finally, Remus shook off his shock enough to speak. "Er, Sammy?"
"Yes, Remus?" she growled.
"Um, are you aware that you appear to have a - "
"Yes! For gods sake, yes! I do know that I have cat's ears, and I definitely know that I've grown a tail!" Realising that she had the attention of everyone in the Hall, she decided to make the most of it. "And when I get my hands on the four I'm blaming for this, believe me, you will suffer!"
Remus gave up on braving his sister's company and moved several seats down the table to sit with Minerva.
She raised an eyebrow at him. "Dare I even ask?"
Sam apparently heard her. "Dare away, Min! Your godson, Severus's godson, and their two partners in crime were the cause of this, and I am not letting them get away with it!"
"My godson?" Minerva asked mildly, hiding a smile. "Are you sure you don't mean our godson? Lily and James appointed us both, as I recall."
"Indeed," Sam grudgingly agreed. "But that doesn't mean I'm taking any blame for him when he's given me feline body parts!"
As Sam turned back to her breakfast, Minerva raised an eyebrow at Remus. "I do believe that you've instigated the largest scale prank war since...well, as far back as I can remember!"
Remus looked appalled. "I most certainly did not! Severus declared the war, after all!"
"Yes, but as you told me, it was only after you had Harry prank him in potions."
"But..."
"No buts, Remus Lupin."
"Well, I certainly didn't get Sam involved!"
"I'll give you that, but only because your minions got there first."
Remus grinned brightly. "Yay! I have minions!"
Minerva rolled her eyes. "Well, as you may or may not know, your 'minions' are already causing more trouble."
"What! How? It's Sevvie's turn, how can they be?"
Silently, she pointed.
"Oh."
"Quite."
"Am I allowed to award house points for that?"
"Oh, if only we could..."
"Well, why not?"
"Because Albus may fire us."
"He can take a joke as well as the next man, Minnie."
"Perhaps. But he's quite fond of that beard."
"He's also neutral. And we need him to stay that way! With Albus on their side, we wouldn't stand a chance!"
"No fear, my dear boy!" Albus assured him. "I'm staying well out of thisone."
"Oh good," Remus said with a relieved sigh. Still, he found himself needing to look away from the Headmaster's scarily glowing lemon yellow beard and hair. It seemed to be twinkling at him...Harry had added something to the spell this time.
Albus smiled at him cheerfully. "Besides, I'm quite fond of what young Harry has done to my beard and hair...one of my favourite colours, after all!" He stood up and cleared his throat. All eyes were drawn to him, but most had to look away almost immediately in order to retain their eyesight.
Harry looked a little nervous.
"Mr Potter!" the Headmaster began. "I would like to award you thirty points to Gryffindor for my wonderful new hair colour!"
Harry grinned up at him. "Well, I picked it, but Draco suggested the sparkly bits."
The man's grin widened. "Wonderful! Mr Malfoy, thirty points to Slytherin!"
He sat down at the same time as the smirking teens, immediately returning to his breakfast of toast and... Remus squinted. Was that really wasabi and mayonnaise?
Minerva and Remus exchanged a glance. With Albus in charge and Harry having free reign...well, it was a wonder the castle was still standing. They both had their doubts that it still would be come the boy's graduation.
Charms and even History of Magic passed far too soon in Harry's eyes, and it was with a feeling of intense dread that he and Seamus followed their fellow Gryffindors into the Great Hall for lunch.
There was the usual hum of the student body conversing, the tinny sound of Severus's snakes singing Row Row Row Your Boat, and…
From somewhere within the Great Hall came the tune to Three Blind Mice.
The Gryffindors took their seats, wondering what was going on, when Seamus stood up and walked to the front of the Hall.
Ever observant, Harry pointed out to his friends that Blaise was doing the same thing.
After a few moments, the boys stood completely still beside one another, trading glances of pure horror.
"What are they doing?" Hermione hissed into his ear.
Harry shook his head. "Nothing voluntary. I think this might be the beginnings of Sev and Sam's revenge."
As if to confirm his words, a puff of pink and white smoke appeared, covering both boys from head to foot.
The cloud gradually cleared, leaving the students a good view of how the two were now dressed.
Seamus was wearing a white tutu, while Blaise's was pink.
"They match each other's hair," muttered an amazed Neville.
"And they're wearing tap shoes," stated Parvati. They all looked at her, and she blushed. "I took lessons when I was little."
The Three Blind Mice tune suddenly increased in volume, and Blaise and Seamus began a complicated tap-dance routine that they certainly wouldn't have been able to perform normally.
The Hall was in hysterics, barring only two students.
Harry, seeing how outnumbered he was, dashed across the Hall and dropped into Blaise's vacated seat beside Draco, who was also still staring in horror at the dancing boys.
"We're doomed, aren't we?" the Slytherin whispered in a defeated voice. "We'll never beat them."
Having been thinking the same thing only moments ago, Harry suddenly found he had room in his mind to hope. "You know what? I think you're wrong. I think we'll kick their arses...but, that's after we're revenged upon."
Draco shivered. "I really don't like the sound of that."
Harry put his arm around the other boy's shoulders comfortingly. "Don't worry, once it's all over, we'll get them back. Again."
"Good," Draco stated with a faint grin, using Harry's shoulder as a leaning post. "And don't move. You're comfortable."
He couldn't hold back a smile. "Yes, I am."
Draco snorted softly. "Dork."
"Git."
"Prat."
"Blondie."
"Slytherin."
"I thought that was you?"
"Are you kidding? You're more of a Slytherin than the entire House put together!"
"You think so?"
"Sure."
"Thanks. That's quite a compliment, coming from the king of Slytherin himself."
"I thought so."
They sat in silence for a few minutes, ignoring the laughter of everyone else, until finally, the music came to an end and the dancers stumbled to join them.
"You're still wearing the tutus," Harry pointed out with an amusedly raised eyebrow.
Blaise and Seamus glowered at him. "We can't get them off!" the Gryffindor exclaimed, falling dramatically into the seat across from Harry.
Seating himself next to the pink haired boy, Blaise nodded. "We've been trying."
"It won't work," offered Remus, walking up behind the exhausted ex-entertainment.
Seamus yelped. "Bloody hell Lupin, don't do that!"
"Why won't it work?" Blaise asked, ignoring the other's outburst.
Remus appeared to be trying to hide a smirk. "I taught Sam the spell to stop you removing them."
"You traitor!"
"I am not," Remus defended against the tutu wearing Slytherin. "I taught her years ago...in fact, I thought she'd forgotten it."
"Oh."
"Never mind," the older man said cheerfully. "It'll wear off in a day or two."
Seamus and Blaise stared at him in horror.
Lunch was over. Most of the students and teachers were still snickering over the prank on Seamus and Blaise, while the two boys in question were alternating between relief that the worst was over and utter humiliation at still having to wear the tutus.
Harry and Draco, on the other hand, were terrified.
Dean, Neville, Jason and Ron had had to physically drag the two from the Great Hall, and were now walking in a loose ring around them, preventing any escapes.
"Bleeding traitors," Harry was muttering darkly to his fellow prisoner. "Or they will be once I'm done with them...couldn't just leave us to run away, could they, oh no, that'd be too damn nice!"
Draco was rubbing his back soothingly. "I know, we'd be so much safer in the Forbidden Forest right now, running about with vampires, getting fashion tips from my mother...being anywhere near my mother...telling my uncle he's a pineapple..."
"A pineapple?" Harry asked, eyebrow raised. "What's wrong with that?"
The blond shuddered. "You haven't met my uncle...he makes you and Blaise seem sane."
Harry stopped dead and stared at him wide eyed. "Wow...I want to meet him!"
Draco snorted. "Are you kidding? I wouldn't let the two of you near each other if you payed me! I'd be far too afraid for my hair."
The other boy reached up and flicked his fingers through the currently golder-than-normal locks. "I wouldn't worry, if I were you. I wouldn't let him near your hair. It's far too pretty."
The Slytherin turned faintly pink.
"We're here!" exclaimed the far to enthusiastic Jason.
Harry and Draco both treated him to a Glare of Death. Jason gulped.
"All right, fess up," Draco demanded. "Who gave Jason sugar?"
A guilty looking Pansy raised her hand before smirking at something over his shoulder.
The two froze, and then slowly turned around to face the innocently smiling face of Sam Snape, tail flicking ominously.
"Today," she began in a poisonously sweet tone. "We shall simply be continuing where we left off. Studying Jarveys. I'm sure you recall the groups you are in and the Jarvey that you are working with. Please begin."
Seamus and Blaise exchanged a worried glance before heading off to find their Jarvey. They both doubted, from the expressions of terror on their faces, that Harry and Draco were up to the task.
Half way through the lesson, Seamus and Blaise were fairly sure that they had managed to convince Harry and Draco to stop worrying so much about Sam doing anything to them in Care of Magical Creatures, as they personally believed that she had adopted Severus's strategy of intimidation.
Well, they thought they had convinced them.
Blaise was holding their albino Jarvey still while Seamus, as per Sam's current instructions to the class, attempted to brush the creature.
Harry and Draco were relaxing beneath a tree nearby, alternating between watching the other half of their group and eyeing Sam nervously.
"So, what do you think she's going to do to us?" Draco asked, eyes on their teacher.
"I honestly haven't got a clue," Harry confessed. "All I know is that we're likely not to enjoy it."
The two of them fell silent, and Harry found his gaze being drawn to a scene of interest not too far away.
Ron and Hermione appeared to be arguing about something, but Harry's attention was on the other half of their group.
Pansy was holding the brush, while Neville was trying to keep their Jarvey still. The Jarvey, however, seemed intent on making life more difficult for them, as it was wriggling with a vengeance and inundating Neville with a slew of insults.
Eventually, Pansy tired of that. "Silencio."
Neville gave her a grateful grin. "Thanks, Pansy."
She blushed slightly and smiled back. "No problem."
Harry turned and raised an eyebrow at Draco, who had also been watching the other group. "I believe we might have something worth investigating."
"I agree, but we should probably wait until we're sure that Sam and Severus have sated their need for revenge against us."
"You're right," Harry sighed. "So, on a somewhat related subject, I don't suppose you know what Ron and 'Mione were arguing about?"
Draco smirked. "Actually, I do. The idiot was insulting her cat, and - "
Harry interrupted him with a groan. "Oh, you can stop there, the rest is ingrained in my memory. Gods! I swear, Ron has absolutely no brain in that head of his! How does he expect Hermione to date him when he spends all his time harping on about her cat?"
"I have no idea," Draco said with a sigh. "I don't suppose there's anything you can do about that?"
"I plan to have a Talk with Ronald Weasley," Harry growled. "I've been meaning to for a while. He's never liked Crookshanks, much, but it's become worse, lately, because Crookshanks has been trying to get on Ron's good side by bringing him presents."
Draco raised an eyebrow. "And Ron can't see that the small dead animals are gifts?"
"No. Mainly because they're usually large spiders. Ron thinks that Crookshanks is menacing him on purpose, and that the poor cat knows he doesn't like spiders."
"Idiot," Draco muttered. "And I get the feeling he hasn't a clue that your kitten is Crookshanks' daughter."
"What did he say?"
"He asked her why her cat couldn't be a nice, sweet, innocent creature like yours."
"Oh dear. And her name is Kearia, by the way."
"Kearia? That's a good name, I love it." He eyed Harry hopefully. "I don't suppose you want to help me name mine?"
"Do you have any ideas for her?" Harry asked.
"I don't know. I keep thinking some kind of flower, but most of the flower names are taken."
Harry nodded. "What about Rose?"
"My cousin's name."
"Ah." Harry thought for several minutes.
"Anything?"
"Willow?"
Draco was silent.
"Dray?"
Slowly, the blond grinned. "It's perfect. Thank you." He leaned over and kissed Harry on the cheek.
Harry blinked at him in shock and they both looked away, blushing.
A few minutes later, Harry was about to speak when he was interrupted.
:Honestly! Humans, they just have to make a big deal out of everything
Looking around in confusion, Harry came face to face with a small silvery coloured snake that was watching him with dark grey eyes and hanging from a nearby low branch. :Hello:
The snake blinked. :Er, hi. Since when do you humans speak a sensible language:
Harry snorted. :We don't - I mean, most humans don't speak your language. I'm just one of the few lucky ones who can.:
:Oh. Cool.:
This snake was effectively killing any and all previous notions Harry had about how snakes spoke. :So, what's your name, where are you from:
:I live around here, always have. And I'd prefer not to disclose my name.:
Harry raised an eyebrow at him. :Why ever not:
He was positive that if it were possible, the snake would have been blushing. :Well, my mother was a bit...confused, you see. It's kind of embarrassing.:
Draco cleared his throat and Harry turned to him. "Having a nice chat?" the blond asked innocently.
Harry poked him. "Yes, actually. I'd introduce you, but he's embarrassed about his name and won't tell it to me."
:Oh fine. I'll tell you, but only because I like you. Once you've finished laughing at me, I'm coming with you, too, possibly for the rest of one of our lives.:
:All right then, why not? I'm Harry, by the way, and this is Draco.:
:Nice to meet you both. I'm Herring.:
SAM: (Plotting death for all)
SEVERUS: (Plotting with Sam)
BLAISE: Makes me glad they've gotten Seamus and I already.
DRACO: And yet I'm so not comforted…
HARRY: Don't worry so much, Dray, we'll make them suffer.
DRACO & HARRY: Mwahahahahahahahaha!
SAM & SEVERUS: Oh dear…
SIRIUS: Ah, I'm so proud, Har.
TOM: Me too.
REMUS: Why on earth are you proud of him? I wasn't aware you'd met.
TOM: Well…
HARRY: (Smirks) Tom taught me all I know about fishing.
TOM: Yep!
BELLATRIX: I've seen both of you fish before…you both suck.
HARRY: (Sulks) Do not.
BELLATRIX: Do too.
HARRY: I refuse to enter into an immature argument with an insane minion of a Dark Lord whose chosen name can nickname to Voldie.
VOLDEMORT: Bitch.
HARRY: Who, me?
VOLDEMORT: Yes you.
HARRY: Couldn't have been.
BELLATRIX: Then who stole the damn cookies?
NARCISSA: I think I might know…
LUCIUS: (Tries to hide jar with his hand stuck in it behind his back)
AVERY: I think I can see a culprit too…
LUCIUS: Nate! You're supposed to be on my side!
AVERY: I am. But it's a neutral cookie jar.
LUCIUS: Damn!
HARRY: Quite. Now hold out your hand.
LUCIUS: Are you going to get this jar off?
HARRY: Yes.
LUCIUS: (Suspicious) Will I still have a hand when you're done?
HARRY: Probably.
LUCIUS: (Sighs and holds out hand and jar)
HARRY: (Smashes jar with rock)
LUCIUS: Ow!
BELLATRIX: You killed the bloody cookie jar!
HARRY: Who, me?
NARCISSA: Let's not start that all again.
HARRY: Oh all right. Oh, and Remus?
REMUS: Er, no? I'm not here.
SIRIUS: You just should have run away and not answered, Remy.
REMUS: (Sighs) Yes, I know. What, Har?
HARRY: (Conjures feather duster) Well, you baked my herring into a pie, remember?
REMUS: Oh crap.
HARRY: (Attacks Remus with feather duster)
REMUS: Help!
Okay guys, love you all, even those of you who don't review (though I'd love it if you did, heh heh).
So, please review!
Until next time,
SW