Marco hesitated for a moment before knocking on Ellie's bedroom door. Her mom had let him in, but had seemed pretty uninterested in why he was there, and had made absolutely no indication that Ellie was possibly upset or angry. But, if he knew Ellie, she was probably both.
Bracing himself for what was likely to be a hard conversation, he knocked lightly. "El?" he called out softly, hoping that she wouldn't be too mad to let him in.
Ellie just stared at the door for a few moments, contemplating on whether or not she should just pretend she was asleep and ignore him. She knew that the wait was probably making him grow more uncomfortable, but wasn't sure if she cared. She couldn't believe this was happening. Again.
Finally, though, she came to the decision that she needed to at least hear him out. Despite everything, he was her best friend. And she'd get over this. It wasn't like she and Craig were really going out or anything. She'd been stupid to think that they were going to end up getting together or something. She'd just been a summer distraction. While Ashley was away, her guilty conscience reminded her.
That was the worst part, though. She'd expected Craig to go back to Ashley. It was for the best that this had happened, she justified, before she'd let…whatever was happening between them to go any farther. Still, the last thing she'd expected was to find him making out with Marco of all people. She just wasn't sure why this was affecting her quite so much. Sure, she really liked Craig, and had hoped that their kiss had meant something to him. But it was more than that. Why, of all people, did he have to kiss Marco? It wasn't that she was still in love with him, or that she held on to any delusion that they would ever be more than friends--and she was okay with that now, she really was. But it still hurt. And she really didn't want to go through all that pain with another guy. She felt like she was…cursed. Doomed to never find a guy who would love her back.
Unhappily, she turned the doorknob and let the door drift open a few inches.
Marco was tempted to just go in uninvited when Ellie didn't answer her door immediately, but he really didn't want to upset her any further. He also hesitated to knock again, but didn't want to leave things unresolved, either. He thought about trying to start the conversation from the other side of the door, but really, he just wanted to see her. He needed to know that she was okay, and that she was listening to him. He was about to knock again when finally he heard her moving inside the room. He could almost feel her as she stood on the other side of the door, deciding whether or not to let him in. He was only slightly relieved when finally the door crept open a few inches; he still maintained the sinking feeling when Ellie didn't greet him. Despite that, he couldn't help but smile brightly when he saw her for the first time in months, anyway.
"Hey, El," he greeted, pushing past the initial awkwardness of the moment. He knew they'd have to discuss what happened--the sooner, they could clear it up, the better--but first he just wanted to properly greet the best friend he missed so much over the summer. He stepped into the room and pulled her into a hug, knowing that quite possibly she would push him away, but not caring. He couldn't resist. "I really missed you this summer," he murmured into her ear, ignoring the voice in his head telling him he should back off quickly before she could push him away. He missed her so much. He wished that the reunion wasn't marred by the present circumstances.
When Marco hugged her, Ellie couldn't help but hug him back, tightly. She was still angry, but it was nice to have him back again. It had been the first real summer that they'd been apart in…forever. She smiled softly and buried her face against his shoulder. After what seemed like hours, she reluctantly pulled away and sat down on the edge of her bed, not looking up at him. "Did Craig tell you?" she asked quietly.
Marco sat down next to her, nodding slightly as he gave her a weak smile. "Not until after," he answered honestly. "El, I swear I didn't know that you and…you and him were…" he trailed off because he still didn't really know what exactly Craig and Ellie were…or could have been. "I swear I wouldn't have…" he added, placing his hand on her shoulder, hoping she'd look at him and see how much he regretted hurting her--no matter how unwittingly he'd done so. He just wanted her to be happy, and it was clear that she was anything but. Which made him want to fix things even more. "He feels terrible, you know," he informed her, not sure if it would make any difference to her. "He really likes you." He almost hated telling her that part…the selfish part of him was still interested in Craig. But his friendship with Ellie came first. And he thought--much as he hated to admit it to himself--that Ellie and Craig would probably make a much better couple. And Craig wouldn't have to deal with…with all the things that would come with going out with him. He was doing the right thing. Craig and Ellie deserved each other.
"It doesn't matter anyway," Ellie stated flatly, looking straight ahead. "It just shouldn't have happened. Besides, Ashley will be back soon. I…I don't know what I was thinking, going back there tonight. It was stupid. I was just worried." She glanced sideways at Marco. "About you," she clarified. "I'm not interested in him," she liked. "Just…don't even worry about it."
Marco shifted uncomfortably as she mentioned being worried about him. He didn't really want to tell her about what had happened to him yet. He didn't want to worry her or pile any more problems on her plate. It was far more important to him that he know that the thing with Craig wouldn't come between them anyway. How could he not worry about that? He could tell that it mattered to Ellie, too. He hadn't even thought about Ashley, though. He couldn't help but feel worse when Ellie mentioned her. It made what happened even more wrong. He knew he should probably be really upset with Craig for putting them all in that situation, but he couldn't entirely blame Craig, either. He'd kissed back. Never once thinking of Ashley. Or Ellie, though he hadn't any clue that he should have thought of Ellie. But he was now, and he just wanted her to be happy. Even if it meant not pursuing anything with Craig himself. "El...please. Don't lie to me," he requested softly, a glutton for punishment.
Ellie sighed. "Fine. So maybe I am, but it doesn't matter. I don't really want to talk about it right now. I just shouldn't have gone back there, period. It's just that you and Ashley have been gone and Craig…well, he's been there for me, you know. But of course things are going to change now that summer is over. I should have thought of that before I went back to his house tonight. I was just really confused about what happened and I thought…the truth is, I don't know what I thought. Just with you and Ash so far away, I must have let myself think that things were different. And they were. For a while, anyway. But now they're not…if that makes any sense," she tacked on hastily, realizing that she probably wasn't making a whole lot of sense. She was totally confused. And didn't have a clue how to unconfused things other than to just close the subject. "Anyway, the point is that I just want to forget that kiss even happened. I was stupid to think that there was anything real behind it."
The worst part, Marco figured, was that she really believed that. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her against himself in a half-hug. "Ellie. Any guy would be lucky to be with you. You're beautiful, smart, original, and fun. It wasn't stupid for you to think there was something there. There was. Is. He really likes you, El. I…I think he was really just trying to make me feel better," he admitted, both to her and to himself. "Craig's not…he's not gay. I really don't know what's happened between him and Ashley, but I really think he's interested in you. And I think…you two would be really good for each other." It really would be better, he silently reminded himself. Even if Craig were bi, he'd be so much better off not opening himself up to all the hurtful things that seemed to come with the territory. Besides, Marco really just needed to focus on fixing things at home. He really didn't need to drag a boyfriend into that mess.
"Marco, you don't have to lie. Craig wouldn't have kissed you just to make you feel better. I mean, who does that anyway? I'm sorry, but from where I was standing, it looked pretty serious to me. You can try to rationalize it any way that you like, but Craig knew exactly what he was doing, and he kissed you because he wanted to. Why else would he have done it? The question is…what do we do now?"
He wished he knew how to answer that. The most important thing, though, was that she understood one thing. "El, I never thought I'd ever have to say this to you, but…no guy is ever going to come between us. You're more important to me than anyone else. If you're interested in Craig…I really think you two would be great for each other. I'm going to just…walk away."
Craig froze as he stood outside Ellie's bedroom door, listening to the two inside. He couldn't just sit back at the garage and do nothing, so he'd followed Marco. Ellie's mom had let him into the house and pointed him in the general direction of her room. He hesitated to enter, though, as he heard the two talking. Part of him was just too nervous to face them, the other…was curious. He wasn't sure whether he should be happy or upset when he heard Marco saying that he'd walk away. While it would make things much easier--letting them decide for him. And he really did want to go out with Ellie. Still, he was a little disappointed that Marco was willing to walk away. He was surprisingly curious about pursuing something with him as well. Well…not "as well" as in both of them, but…well…actually…he raised an eyebrow as the solution came to mind. Of course getting them to agree to it was another story. He continued to listen at the door, hoping for there to be a good opening for him to break into their conversation.
"No, Marco…I can't ask you to do that. It isn't fair. Besides, I don't think that I can be with someone who is confused about their sexuality. I refuse to go through that again. Whether you and Craig hook up or not, I still want to just let this go. Craig doesn't know what he wants, and I'm not going to be his stepping stool to find out. I admit that I am a little angry. I just never thought that this would happen. You know…us being interested in the same guy. It's weird. I just feel so torn right now. And maybe even a little betrayed," she admitted, reluctantly. "I know that this wasn't your fault, but it still hurts."
Craig bit his lip as he heard what Ellie was saying. The thing was…he wasn't confused. And he needed to tell her that. So he made his presence known by stepping into the room. He squatted down before the pair of them so that he was looking up at them, submissively. "What if I'm not confused?" he asked Ellie, looking directly up into her eyes. At the same time, he placed his hand on Marco's leg, hoping that he didn't take it to mean that he was choosing Ellie. He wasn't…well, he was, but he wasn't choosing only Ellie. If they'd have him…he thought his solution to the situation was pretty much perfect. After all, it was clear that the two of them completely adored each other, and he adored them both, and…he hoped he wasn't just being conceited by thinking that just maybe they both really liked him, too. He didn't expect either of them to love him yet, though he hoped that would still come--that he hadn't ruined everything with his incredibly poor sense of timing.
Marco forced himself to keep smiling bravely, looking over at Ellie. He knew that she and Craig were a far better idea, disappointing as it was. But really, it was the best solution. And Ellie deserved to be happy. His smile became more genuine as he gave her an encouraging nod, letting her know that it was okay with him for her to pursue this thing with Craig.
Ellie looked up, startled that Craig was there. How long had he been listening? It took her a few moments to catch up and respond. She blinked at him, unsure. "What do you mean by that?"
A little more confident since he hadn't already been shot down, Craig smiled a little. "You said that I didn't know what I want, but I do. Ellie, I really like you. And I think that we should give things a try." He glanced at Marco out of the corner of his eye, but mostly kept his attention focused on Ellie.
Marco swallowed hard, trying not to let it upset him. It's for the best, he repeated to himself. And he wanted Ellie to be happy. And Craig. And…and it still hurt, even though he didn't want it to. He kept smiling, wondering if there were any way that he could get out of there gracefully, letting them finish this up without him interfering. He'd be fine. He just needed a few minutes to process. But then Ellie's answer came and he forgot about leaving for the moment.
"Yeah, well maybe you should have thought about that before you kissed my best friend. Craig, I really like you too... but... so does Marco. And I can't be with you if it means hurting him."
"El, it's okay," Marco assured her, wrapping my arm around her waist as they sat together. He rested his head against her shoulder. "Really, El. I want you to be happy." He glanced at Craig. "Both of you." He needed to let Craig know it was okay, too. Of course he was disappointed, but he'd get over it. "And I think you're really great together and…and…I want you to go out with him. If you want to. If…if that's what you guys choose."
And here was where Craig knew he was going to have to tread really carefully. He smiled at Marco and chewed his lip for a moment trying to figure out how to word what he was thinking. "What if…what if I don't want to choose between you?" he asked, glancing from one to the other. "What if I have…something else in mind?" he tested the waters.
Marco's brow furrowed in confusion. He didn't have a clue what Craig was getting at. He glanced at Ellie, giving her a slight shrug and a questioning look, hoping she'd clue him in.
"Like what?" Ellie asked, equally confused. It was so tempting to bring up what happened with Craig, Ashley, and Manny at that moment, but she held back from saying it on the sheer principle that she could tell he was having a hard enough time as it was.
"Well…" Craig couldn't figure out how to word his thoughts in a way that wouldn't make them both reject him…and quite possibly slap him. "You two...you're really close. Just...you're so perfect together. You get each other. Right?"
Marco's brow furrowed further as he glanced at Ellie, still unsure what Craig was getting at. It almost sounded like Craig was trying to convince him to go out with her himself. Which didn't make any sense. Still, he did have to agree with the analysis so far. "Yeah…"
"You're like...best friends, right?" Craig waited for Marco to nod. "You...love each other, right?"
"Of course I love Ellie," Marco replied without hesitation as he hugged her tighter against himself. Maybe he was being totally dense, but he still wasn't sure where Craig was going with this.
"And you love Marco, right?" Craig licked his lips nervously, looking at Ellie for confirmation.
Marco opened his mouth, about to remind Craig that Ellie may be perfect for him in every way but one--but that one was a pretty major one, but he decided to hold back and see where this was leading.
"Yes, of course," Ellie replied, getting impatient for Craig to get to the point. "But I still don't see what that has to do with anything. Marco is gay, remember? And besides, I thought we were talking about you."
"Actually, we're talking about all of us." Craig smiled nervously, letting his hand rub Marco's leg absently as he gazed at Ellie. "So…um…you two love each other," he repeated back to them. "And…and I really…I really like both of you. A lot. Not love yet, but…but I think I'm falling for you." He glanced from Ellie to Marco, then back to Ellie. "Both of you." He swallowed nervously, but didn't give either a chance to say anything before plunging ahead. "And unless I'm completely reading you wrong, I think both of you…really like me." He glanced from one to the other again, bracing for one or both of them to start getting mad. Still, he continued on. "What I'm saying is…I don't want to choose one of you. I want both. Not like…cheating. But like…all three of us. Together." He held his breath for a few moments, at last giving them a chance to respond.