A/N: Oh, wow, you guys! Almost 250 reviews! This is like, one of the titan stories, now! I always used to look at those stories with over 200 reviews and say "wow... that's gotta be a good story..." And look! I have over 200 reviews!.!.! Thanks you guys!
Yes, I'm sorry about what happened in the last chapter. I really didn't intend for it to happen, but there it was, plain as day. I'm one of those people who think that once something is written down in a story (or even thought out coherently), it may as well have happened, because it's not going to disappear from my thoughts. Thank goodness, though, that this is only a "what-if" ending, ne?
Again, this chapter has some repeat stuff- but remember, it hasn't happened yet in this story line. And some of it is changed, so read carefully!
A favorite quote from a reviewer: "I was wondering what would happen with Rin in this storyline, thinking some depression was in order, but good lord, you killed her!" (hehehe!)
Disclaimer: haha, I don't own Rin or her coworkers in Takahashi-sama's world... but... well, she was killed off anyway... so it's probably a good thing I don't own her, isn't it?
Previously:
"You'll be okay, Kagome?" The miko nodded. "Then," Inu Yasha turned to his other companions, "let's get going." Again, Miroku and Shippou looked strangely at Kagome, before Miroku and Inu Yasha rode off on the transformed Kirara, Shippou running alongside them. Letting out a sigh, Kagome watched them leave before hobbling slowly over to Rin and Sesshoumaru.
"Sesshoumaru," she said gently. "Let's take Rin-chan inside. We can give her a proper burial in the morning." He gave her no vocal response, but instead stood up, hoisting Rin's lifeless body over his shoulder. Without so much as looking at Kagome, he walked inside the castle. Kagome stood motionless, watching the youkai lord with sad eyes. When he disappeared from her sight, she began to walk toward the castle, and entering her room, cried herself to sleep on the bed.
chapter 14: the morning after
Kagome woke up in her bed and lay there for a few moments. She could tell somehow that she had slept later than normal. It was hard to open her eyes. 'Are they swollen?' she speculated. She pressed her fingers over her eyelids and sat up. She still had a headache from crying last night. Inu Yasha had said he knew it wasn't her fault, but… she knew better. He probably thought she should've been able to control herself, even in the face of the strong pull she felt toward Sesshoumaru. Although she felt bad that she had injured Inu Yasha, somehow she still hoped that it would all turn out okay. She had been honest with him, and at least that heavy burden was finally removed from her chest. But.. it seemed like there was something else Kagome was crying for. When she stepped down off of the western-style bed, she felt a small jolt of pain run through her ankle. 'Wha-? My ankle is bad, too?' she huffed in frustration as she hobbled to the bathroom to wash her face.
'What am I going to teach R--' Kagome's thoughts trailed off as she remembered what happened last night. Rin-- Rin was dead. She told Inu Yasha to go back to his father's castle, and she would stay and bury Rin with Sesshoumaru. How was Sesshoumaru taking this? Kagome had no idea. He wouldn't even look at her last night. What was going to happen? After putting a cool compress on her eyes and ankle for a few minutes, she walked down the hallway to the back patio. It was there where she hoped to find Sesshoumaru.
Sesshoumaru looked at Kagome when she arrived at the breakfast table. It had almost become the regular thing that he met her in the morning while Rin played in the field. Now that Rin was gone, he discovered that he had become accustomed to the habit of sitting outside, watching her. Kagome had a glass of juice, but failed to eat anything else. She just didn't have the stomach for it. In fact, she was having a hard time choking down the orange liquid as it was. Sesshoumaru eyed the miko, but said nothing. Kagome rested her elbow on the table, and propped her head up on her hand, her forehead cradled by her palm. She had rinsed her eyes with water, and laid a cold compress on them for several minutes, but to no real avail. Not only that, but the silence at the breakfast table was oppressive. Should she talk to him about Rin? Had he put her to rest yet? She was just about to say something when she heard Sesshoumaru stand up from his position.
"Come with me," he said to her. Kagome looked up at him, to see his eyes staring at hers, almost as though he could see straight down into her soul.
"Mm," she said, standing up. Sesshoumaru turned to go inside, and she followed- albeit with a slight limp. As they walked down the corridor, Kagome realized that they weren't headed for Rin's bedroom, as she had initially thought. In fact, she had never seen this part of the castle. After all, she had only been there a few days- was it a week, now? She had lost track. "Where are we going?" she asked quietly, after a minute or so of walking. Sesshoumaru made no answer until they reached their destination.
The taiyoukai had heard Kagome crying last night. It wasn't his place to comfort her, so he left her to herself. Besides, he was also mourning. When he saw her in the morning, he didn't know or understand what came over him. While he had the ability to keep his actions and emotions tightly reigned, Kagome seemed to have no problems letting her feelings out. He looked at her, as she stared at her plate, her eyes almost swollen shut. Letting out a silent sigh, Sesshoumaru remembered the first time that he ever saw Rin shed tears. She hadn't cried for the first two years that they had been together- until the death of Ah and Un. The beast was old, and its sight had grown dim. Ah and Un simply didn't recognize that the food it was grazing on was poisonous shrubs. While the death of Ah and Un really was of no significance to him, Rin had become attached to the animal. Finally, after a few hours, he had told her not to cry- that everything dies at some time. She sniffled and wiped her nose and eyes with the sleeve of her kimono. But sure enough, her eyes became red and puffy overnight.
Maybe it was because she reminded him of Rin, but when he saw her puffy eyes, Sesshoumaru decided to take Kagome to the infirmary. As he led her down the hall, he began to think more carefully. Was he just trying to rationalize the reason as to why he wanted to give Kagome some kind of comfort? Or was he actually doing this because it was Kagome who needed to be comforted? Why was he even trying to justify his actions in the first place? How could he be thinking so much of Kagome, while his heart was mourning Rin? Sesshoumaru needed to clear his head, but for now he would tell Kagome to rest some more.
"This is the infirmary," he told her, entering the room. "Follow me," he said, leading her toward a small cupboard. Kneeling down, he reached inside and pulled out a small shell container. Standing up once more, he opened it to reveal a pasty white cream.
"What is it?" she asked, leaning forward to smell it.
"This is a cream to reduce the swelling," he told her. "Close your eyes." Kagome did as she was told, but suddenly she remembered what it was like the last time she was alone with the youkai lord. She felt a small blush rise to her cheeks. Remembering the passionate moment that she had shared with Sesshoumaru was enough to make her blush. She had felt the strength of his embrace, the warmth of his breath on her cheek, and the feeling of his lips against hers. Although she knew that they were both under the influence of the infamous 'mark,' she remembered every instant of that moment with extreme clarity. Lost in her thoughts, she flinched slightly when she felt the cool cream being applied to her eyes. While Sesshoumaru was applying the cream to Kagome's eyes, he noticed the blush rise to her cheeks. 'Why is she blushing?' he asked himself, curiously.
"Keep this on your eyes until I tell you to remove it," Sesshoumaru instructed her as he touched her eyelids. Gently, he ran his finger underneath her right eye. Putting his hand on her cheek, he applied cream to the lower part of her left eye using his thumb. After he finished applying the cream, he left his hand there for an extra moment. Kagome's lips parted slightly- she seemed to notice that he hadn't yet removed his hand. "You'll need to keep your eyes closed. You can rest here." Once Sesshoumaru removed his hand from her face, Kagome realized that she hadn't been breathing. She heard him clasp the shell container, and return it to the cabinet. She stood still, not knowing where a bed or chair was for her to rest on. She heard the swish of Sesshoumaru's clothes as he turned to face her, but she heard no footsteps. Was he staring at her? She couldn't tell.
Yes, he was staring at her. The way she stood, with her arms straight down at her sides, and white cream all over her eyes- she reminded him of Rin when she had played dress up with Jaken one day, a few years back.
...flashback...
Rin had found a jar of cream lying in the middle of the road. It was a road frequented by merchants, and apparently a salesman for the makeup industry had just been traveling by. "Ooohhh, look Jaken-sama," she said, picking it up. "What's this?" Rin opened the container to reveal a white paste.
"Who cares?" Jaken said, even though he leaned in to look at it in order to make sure that it was safe for Rin to touch. Doing so, he caught a whiff of the mixture. "It stinks!" he exclaimed, covering his toady little beak. Rin laughed carelessly, and ran off, her newfound treasure in hand.
It had been a few hours before the three of them stopped to rest, and Rin finally had a chance to play with her new find. While she opened the jar, Rin stared at Jaken. "What are you staring at!" he shouted, annoyed. Even when they were supposed to be 'resting,' Jaken never had a moment's rest away from Rin.
"No-thing," she said mysteriously, like all children do when they don't want anyone to know the mischief they're planning.
"Hmph," he grunted, and turned his back on the child. Resting against the trunk of a nearby tree, Jaken fell asleep. Meanwhile, Sesshoumaru sat on a boulder, planning the next course of action he should take on pursuing Naraku's heart. He hadn't gotten any good leads since his last conversation with Kagura. After awhile, Sesshoumaru stood up, and raised a foot in order to give Jaken a wake-up call. That was when he saw it.
"Se-sSHoU-maru-saaama!" Rin called in a strange, squawky voice. She stood there, one arm hanging straight down against her side. Her other arm held a large stick as though it were a giant cane. Although he continued to look in Rin's direction, Sesshoumaru dropped his foot straight on Jaken's head. "Se-sShoU-mAru-saamaaa! I--- am JA-Ken-sama!" Rin called, hobbling forward as if she were a penguin. As she stepped into the light, her face could clearly be seen. She had used that white cream she had found to make large circles of white on her eyelids and around her own eyes, mimicking the buggy eyes of the toady minion. "IIII am Jaken-samaaa, how may I seerrrve youuuu?" she continued, keeping up her squawky voice. She waddled closer to where Sesshoumaru and Jaken were, and made a stiff bow at the taiyoukai.
"Hm?" Jaken murmured as he rubbed his eyes, waking up from Sesshoumaru's kick to the head. He looked over at Rin, and his eyes opened wide. "Wh-whaaat?" He jumped up to his feet and pointed at Rin. "Rin! Rin!" he squawked, in a voice similar to the one Rin had been using, "That's cruel! Quit that right now!" he shouted, jumping up and down, all the while pointing at the girl.
"Hellooo, Jaken-sama, I am Jaken-sama," she stated, continuing her masquerade. "How do you like my staff?" she said as she bowed again, beginning to giggle as she held the staff straight out in front of her. Jaken's mouth dropped for just a moment, before he finally regained his composure and resumed his reprimand of the girl.
"RIn! You should apologize right no--"
"Jaken," Sesshoumaru called his minion.
"Yes, milord?" Jaken asked, pulling his arm (which had been pointing at Rin) back to his side.
"Go wash your face."
"Hai, milord." Jaken shot Rin one last look of contempt before he made his way toward the nearby pond. "That girl.. why does Sesshoumaru-sama tolerate her?" he muttered. Kneeling down, he looked into the pond. "And why did he tell me to wash my…" he stopped mid-sentence, when he saw his face. He was covered in white drawings. There was a rainbow shape on his forehead, giant eyelashes painted around his eyes, and a large heart on each cheek. On his beak was a little smiley face. "AAAAAHHHH!" he screamed, and immediately dunked his head underwater, scrubbing vigorously to get the now-dried cream off of his face.
...end flashback...
Yes, Kagome, standing there with cream on her eyes, really reminded him of Rin. The corners of Sesshoumaru's mouth gently curved upward into a small smile. Rin's playful, innocent, and naïve spirit was what had softened him up. After he met Rin, he didn't threaten Jaken with death anymore. In fact, after she had tended to him while he was recovering from the Kaze no Kizu, he didn't have as much of a desire to kill needlessly. And now here, before him, was another young woman. She had stayed with him, even though his little brother protested. Why?
Without thinking any further, Sesshoumaru walked over to where Kagome was standing. The girl probably had no idea where she should rest. Putting an arm around Kagome's shoulders, he guided her slowly toward the infirmary bed. Once they reached it, he turned around, wrapped his arm around Kagome's stomach, and hoisted her up onto the bed. "You can lay down here. The cream should take effect very soon. I'll come back to get you later."
"Okay," Kagome replied. Settling into a lying position on the bed, she began to think about everything that had happened since she arrived. Her thoughts did not go far, however; there was some kind of sedative aroma in the cream, and before she knew it, she had fallen asleep.
While Kagome was asleep in the infirmary, Inu Yasha was recovering from his injuries. Just after they had left the battleground, Inu Yasha told Miroku the location of the scroll concerning poison antidotes. He passed out immediately thereafter, reverting back into his more familiar 'hanyou' form. Luckily, Miroku and the others found the scroll with no problem. They collected and prepared the necessary materials, and began applying the concoction to Inu Yasha's wounds as soon as it was ready. The purple tinge slowly began to disappear from Inu Yasha's neck, signifying that the poison was losing its potency.
"What do you think happened between Inu Yasha and Kagome?" Shippou asked Miroku.
"I don't know, Shippou. But one thing is for certain: Inu Yasha didn't claim Kagome-sama. If he had, she would also be here with us. Only Inu Yasha can tell us what happened, now." The two stared down at the unconscious youkai.
After Kagome had fallen asleep from the sedative cream, Sesshoumaru placed a cold compress on her ankle and then sat in a nearby chair to think. Why had Kagome decided to stay with him? Was it only for the sake of Rin? He looked at her sleeping form. Kagome was Kagome, but he also believed that Kagome and Rin shared the same soul. With the strange clothes she wore before he had brought her to his castle, along with her forward attitude and ideas, Sesshoumaru deduced that Kagome must be from a different time. If that was the case, then… Kagome was Rin at some point in time. Is that why she stayed with him? Was fate somehow replacing what was lost to him? Sesshoumaru sat for an hour, lost in his thoughts. Finally, he rose and approached the sleeping Kagome. Gently, he removed the cream from her eyes using a damp cloth. Once he finished, he stared down at her face as if in a daydream. Slowly, he bent over her, until his face was only inches from hers. Then, closing his eyes, he traversed the remaining space, gently brushing her lips with his. Suddenly, his eyes shot open, and he quickly stood up, turned around, and left Kagome to wake up on her own.
'What have I just done!' he mentally hit himself as he walked down the hallway. Before, he could have blamed his actions on the temporary mark. But now-- there was nothing like that on which the blame could be placed. Sesshoumaru stepped outside the castle walls, and began to sprint through the forest in an effort to escape his thoughts and racing emotions that were struggling to liberate themselves from their oppression.
Fifteen minutes later, Kagome woke up- but Sesshoumaru was nowhere to be found. She sat upright, and felt her eyes. They showed no signs that they were swollen just a little while ago. How long had it been? Kagome had no idea. She didn't remember when it got there, but there was also a compress on her ankle. After she had removed it, she stood up and slowly made her way to Rin's quarters, curious to see if Sesshoumaru had buried her while she was asleep. Kagome had been careful not to make any sudden movements with her ankle. It already felt better- presumably because of that compress. Peeking inside the room, Kagome spotted Rin in her bed. It looked like she was sleeping peacefully- but Kagome knew better. Sighing, she closed the door and went to her room to think on the events of last night.
Kagome sat down on a large, round, plush pillow in the center of her room. Ever since she had been temporarily marked, she hadn't really sorted out her feelings concerning the taiyoukai. Kagome realized that she felt differently about him than she did when he first kidnapped her. 'Yes, he kidnapped me. But do I resent it anymore?' Kagome shook her head at the question that popped up in her mind. Her feelings concerning the youkai lord had begun to change since the night after her arrival at the castle. Although he wasn't as emotionally readable as Inu Yasha, Sesshoumaru was capable of showing her his emotion as well as concern for her well-being. She hated to ask the next question of herself, but she knew she had to if she wanted clarity concerning her feelings. 'Do…do I love Sesshoumaru?' her response to the question of her thoughts was a twist of her heart, and butterflies in her head. It felt almost like the topic was forbidden territory. She wasn't about to deny the fact that she felt some tender emotion for him, but… was it love?
Before she was willing to answer that question, she needed to think over her relationship with Inu Yasha. She loved him, yes- but… it was a different type of love now than it was before. If this same scenario had happened but a few years ago, she would have left with Inu Yasha while Sesshoumaru mourned the loss of Rin. Why hadn't she left with him this time? Somehow, ever since he marked her, Kagome felt a kind of tie to the taiyoukai. Even after the mark had worn off, she still remembered the passionate moments she had shared with him. This morning, even- he had been more gentle with her than she had ever thought possible. She felt the heat rise to her cheeks, but stopped it before it could go too far. She needed to think about Inu Yasha. Did he even need her, anymore? Of course they were always together. And- he told her he loved her, and she said she loved him, too. Was she lying? She had said she needed time to think, but Kagome was so confused about her feelings concerning the brothers that she didn't know where to start sorting things through. She felt tears welling up in her eyes, and was about to give herself over to crying, when there was a sound at her door.
"Kagome," Sesshoumaru stood in the hallway. "It is time." The young woman nodded, and stood up, following Sesshoumaru to Rin's bedroom. She stood out in the hallway while Sesshoumaru entered the room, and watched as he gently lifted Rin's body and rested it over his shoulder. It looked like she was only asleep- the blood and dirt from last night had been washed from her face and arms. Kagome wondered to herself if it was Sesshoumaru or Jaken who cleaned the young girl's body. Silently, Sesshoumaru passed Kagome and headed outside.
Once Rin was buried, Sesshoumaru and Kagome knelt in silence by the small mound of earth. There was a wreath of flowers- Rin's favorite blossoms- over where her head rested. After a few moments, Sesshoumaru rose. Kagome looked up at him, and stood to her feet as well. She remembered what it was like when her favorite aunt passed away. She didn't want to do it at the time, but her mother insisted that she talk about her feelings. Somehow, while she was upset at the loss of her aunt, talking about her made the hurt transform into beautiful memories. Kagome looked at Sesshoumaru, whose eyes were still on the flowers resting on Rin's grave.
"Sesshoumaru," she began softly, "Do you want to talk about it?" His golden-amber eyes flashed at her. Kagome took in a breath. His eyes, which were normally so clear and sharp, were clouded with grief. Her eyes glistened with pity- no.. it was genuine concern- at the taiyoukai before her. Without saying a word, Sesshoumaru turned and walked away. Kagome's eyes followed his retreating form. He looked like he had so much to say, and yet couldn't say it. Why was he holding everything inside? "Is-- is there anything I can do?" she whispered to herself, once the taiyoukai disappeared from sight.
A/N: So... there you have it! Yet another chapter to the alternate ending. You have all been awesome about reviewing, so I want to thank you, and encourage you to keep it up! The quicker everyone reviews, the more determined I am to post another chapter.
Jessica L: Yeah, seriously... it was hard to write. I was going around in shock, saying "I can't believe it.. Rin..." .. ehehe, the last time I went around like that was when Kagome first kissed Sesshoumaru.
xmiahimex: Welcome! You're new to review! Yeah, I also like happy endings. I'm not sure what kind of an ending this alternate ending will be, but it really doesn't seem as happy as the original one. Soooo... if you're like me, just remember that this ending never really happened. k? -smile-
Nilee: Yeah, heh, truth be told, I wasn't expecting (or wanting) it to happen either. What a mess to try to write out, y'know? Hmm... the reason why the sword was reforged won't be addressed in my story, because it... well, if you really want to know, feel free to email me.
kitsune ninja: Hehe, well, I like to think of it as you guys who killed Rin. Remember, she didn't die in the original ending! This is what happens when people want to try to play God-of-Inu-Yasha/Karen-realm and make Kagome choose differently!.!.! (sorry, that's my writer's resentment- I know I'm the one who offered to make the "what-if" alternate ending...) Anyway, that's good that you were aware of how much Rin really cared about Sesshoumaru. Yay!
The Squabbit: All I'm saying is that this is an alternate ending for an alternate decision. I don't want to say how this ending will turn out because well, I myself don't know. Doesn't that make it exciting for you guys? Hehe!
InuYashaGal: of course, I treat my reviewers with the utmost respect! Thanks for adding me to your favorites, that's an awesome compliment! As for writing another story... I'm not really sure just yet. I have an idea for a story, but I might take some time off after this one is finished, just because I feel like I'm going to have writer's burnout. This is the longest story I have ever written in my entire life... and its getting even longer, what with this alternate ending monstrosity... You can put me on 'author alert' if you want, once this story is finished- that way, you'll see if I write anything new.
Beulah Page: hehe, your review was cracking me up (and thanks for reassuring me that you know it was really the brothers that killed her). Thanks a lot for giving me quality input. Yes, this is turning out to be completely different from what I originally thought it would be... I read through my chapters and say to myself, "whaaat... why is this even happening?" But good, I'm glad to catch you by surprise, and to keep you curious as to what'll happen next! Thanks for the input about the characters- the more this alternate ending develops, the more worried I become, that there might be some ooc-ness. Please continue to keep me in check!
Thanks are also in order for sheenachi, Kagome13Chan, hermonine (yeah, I almost cried, too. I was dazed for a few hours..)and whimsy (hehe, you cracked me up with your comments! Thanks for letting me bounce ideas off of you!).