Everyone: I think I wrote and deleted this chapter five or so times before I was satisfied with what I had. It's pretty long, and I'm happy with it that way, I hope you feel the same way! Camudekyu, I also love Al talking to Al. in fact, this story originally had 35 chapters, but I added an extra one in there just to get all of that Al/Al interaction out of my system (for now anyway). Shaded Rouge, do you mean a whole story arch that didn't have straight and yaoi in it, or just for the same character? That's an interesting observation either way, because it really fits with the theme of my story. Yes, the plot is about Ed coming home, and his and Al's search for each other, but really, its about how many ways there are to love someone in a lifetime. I guess it is a little corny to say it that way, but I think it's true. The concept of one true pairing, as applied to fanfic and to life, is just a myth. things change, people change, and love changes. Abby-WCD, what is so bad about chemistry? Doesn't it make you feel closer to Ed? lol. And to everyone else who left reviews, thank you ever so much. They are like crack to me.

Finding the Catch: To Be Your You

"I thought you were in Central," Winry said, surprised. She wore a loose dress to hide her expanding waistline, but Riza's quick glance over her figure betrayed her secret.

"I've had to travel a lot. The president has both General Mustang and I working on a very important operation." She frowned. "The man is impossible to work with. He can't seem to keep a schedule; he was supposed to arrive in Central two days before me and I just called headquarters and he still isn't there."

"Oh," Winry said. "That's because he's here. He brought some books for Ed, from some top secret archive or something." She shrugged apologetically. "Sorry, you probably weren't expecting to run into him."

"It doesn't matter," Riza said crisply. "It's good, actually, I have some information I need to deliver to him personally."

Winry shifted the bag of groceries in her arms. "Well, you were on your way to visit us, right?"

Riza nodded, falling in step beside the younger woman. "How many months along are you?" she ventured, then had to stoop to catch the bag Winry nearly dropped.

"Can you really tell?" she asked, wide eyed.

"Of course. Before long everyone will be able to," she said gently. She tilted her head to one side. "I don't know if 'congratulations' is exactly appropriate, but you have my best wishes, of course. If you need anything at all-"

"Five months," she whispered. She let that information sink in; it had been five months since Ed had come home.

"Have you been to the doctor?"

Winry nodded, wordless.

Riza pressed a card into her palm. "I'm mostly working at the military base outside of Dillon, its not more than an hours drive from here," she said. "Don't hesitate to call me if you need anything."

She took the card, tucking it into her pocket. "Thank you," she said sincerely.

After a few minutes of walking in silence, Riza spoke again. "You haven't told him, have you?" she asked, her voice thick with concern.

Winry glanced over to her with a pained expression. "What should I say? Ed, I'm going to have a baby, and it might be yours, but, on the other hand, it might be your younger brother's, who you love more than anything and are spending every waking hour trying to find, and who is also six years younger than me and just a teenager?" She shook her head. "How could anything possibly go so wrong?"

Riza pressed her lips together, not allowing herself to pass any judgment. "If that's the truth, Winry, that may be the best thing to say, even if it is hard to admit," she said slowly. "Keeping secrets can ruin a relationship."

"We don't have a relationship!" Winry exploded, causing several heads to turn, and she blushed, waiting for them to turn away before she continued. "I don't even know who he is anymore! Its like there's a stranger living in my house who only looks like my best friend who's been gone for six years!"

"People change," Riza said delicately. "You don't know where he's been or what he's gone through. But he still thinks of you as his family-"

"I know who he was," she continued. "I know who I imagined him to be, and I know who I want him to be. But really, I don't know anything about him!"

The older woman sighed, reluctant to offer any more advice. After all, who was she to tell anyone how a relationship should be?

When they arrived at Winry's house, Riza followed her up the outside stairs over the workshop and through the back door into the kitchen. Edward and Roy had been sitting at the table arguing over a map they had spread out, and Roy all but jumped out of his seat when he saw Riza enter the room.

"I was on my way to Central to meet with you," she said coldly. "It's a good thing I happened to stop here, isn't it?"

Roy's grin was playful, but a shred of panic was visible behind his eye. "How did you know I didn't know you would be here?" he said, almost smoothly, backing up when she strode towards him.

"I need to speak to you," she said, her words clipped, grabbing him by the arm and hauling him into the other room. "It's important," she added, pulling the door closed behind her.

Ed stood and took the groceries from Winry, beginning to put them away for her. She sat down with a tired sigh and looked at the map spread out over the kitchen table. "Ed?" she asked curiously.

"Hm?" he said, opening and closing cabinets and putting things in their places.

"What's this a map of?"

"The desert. Ishbal. East City," he answered.

The door opened a crack. "I need to use your phone, Miss Rockbell," Roy said urgently.

Winry waved permission to him, not even turning around. "Go ahead," she told him, and the door was shut again. "What are you doing?"

Ed turned around, reaching over her shoulder to point to a circled area. "This is where they found Al," he said. "He was unconscious and in the middle of an array. An Ishbalan array, he's got drawings of it and diagrams and notes and explanations and definitions and everything in here," he told her, gesturing to the thick file of papers he had taken from his brother's desk.

"Ed-"

"It seems like it should have worked, it's brilliant, actually," he continued, pushing past her interruption with more life than he had shown her all month, "I never really studied alchemy like this before, and it's so different from what we studied with Izumi that I'm not even sure it is alchemy, per se-"

She had twisted around in the chair, facing him as he spoke, his expression animated and his voice rushing at her. "Ed," she said again, more forcefully this time.

He pulled the chair across from her out from the table and sat down in it, leaning towards her, and she turned around again. "Do you know what this means, Win?" he said urgently.

A thousand explanations echoed through her mind, and her eyes narrowed. "You're planning something," she accused. "That's what it means," she said darkly.

He threw up his hands, exasperated. "Of course I'm planning something!" he cried "The moment I saw him in East City, the second I knew what he had done and what happened to him, I was planning something, it's just taken some time to figure things out! He's not gone, Winry, I know where he is, he's where I was all those years, on the other side of the Gate, he has to be." Her yet unspoken protest floored him; he was utterly confused. "Don't you want me to bring him back?" he asked, frowning.

"Not if it means losing you again," she whispered, before she could even think, stunned at her own words.

What did she mean by that? How could she speak such words? Edward stared at her, unmoving, as if they were both frozen. She had never been made to choose, it had never been about choosing between the two brothers. She loved them both, and they were all that remained of her family now. Edward had been gone, she hadn't chosen Al over him because there had never been a choice. She blinked several times, trying to make sense of her own words, becoming conscious of the stranger staring at her from across the table.

The door to the living room flew open and Roy and Riza were suddenly in the room, Riza saying something about them both having to leave immediately. "Fullmetal, I'll contact you in a few days about transportation," Roy said, looking back over his shoulder on his way out the door.

Winry watched them go. "What's he talking about?" she asked, not facing Ed.

"I'm going to Ishbal," he said cautiously, still shocked by her previous words. "To where Al was found. Roy is assembling some kind of top secret military unit to go with me, just in case I need… protection."

She spun around. "You're leaving?"

This was not Winry about to pull her wrench on him, this was an entirely different kind of anger emanating from her. "Yeah…"

"You can't leave!" she shrieked. "Edward Elric, you asshole, how dare you leave me right now!"

He stood to face her, their eyes were level now, they were exactly the same height. "What is wrong with you?" he demanded, his eyes blazing. "I'm not leaving you," he said angrily, "I'm trying to bring Al back to you! Isn't that what you want? Because it sure as hell is the only thing I want!" He slammed his flesh hand into the table. "He doesn't deserve to be in that place while I'm here; home. He doesn't deserve to pay the price for what I did!" He spoke to her through clenched teeth. "He wasn't trying to sacrifice himself. He thought that array would work, and that we'd both be together and safe. He never guessed we would switch places! And I'm going to find a way to bring him back, I know I can."

Winry shook her head fiercely. "No, you're going to disappear again, and you can't do that to me, not now!" she protested.

He stared at her, his mouth hanging open. "How can you possibly-" he sputtered, his anger overtaking his speech. "What are you- I'm only trying to set things right! I can't- I couldn't live with myself knowing that Al's in that place without trying to get him back, how can you even ask that of me?"

"I-I'm not," she tried, not even sure of what she was saying. "That's not what I meant-"

His eyes were terrible, and she backed away as he shouted, "how can you say you love him so much if you don't want him back?"

"Ed, I didn't-"

But she could not manage any words he might listen to, and he spun around, turning to storm out of the room. "Don't you even speak to me!" he shouted, jerking the door open. She could hear his mismatched footsteps pounding up the stairs, and felt her body sinking to its knees on the hard tile floor. How could anything possibly be so wrong?

It was after midnight when she heard him coming back down the steps. She had been trying unsuccessfully to sort through feelings she did not want to confront for hours now, and her heart pounded as she could hear him coming closer.

He did not acknowledge her even with a glare when he entered the room, he just began gathering up the things he and Roy had been pouring over when Winry had returned with Riza.

"Ed?" she said cautiously.

He pretended he did not hear her.

"I have to tell you something."

"Well, I don't want to talk to you right now," he said stiffly, not looking at her, stuffing papers into various folders and stacking them inefficiently. Had she been sitting there, like that, arms around her knees on the floor all night? He felt a pang of sympathy, followed closely by another blow of guilt. He never meant to involve her in his pain, his sin. How many more people would he hurt?

"Can you really be angry with me for not wanting to lose you?" she asked in a small voice.

"Winry, I don't understand you at all, not one bit," he said, shaking his head, still not looking at her. His voice was hollow. "Al is the most important thing in my life, and I never thought you, being my best friend, wouldn't understand why I need to find a way to bring him back." He pressed his lips together. "And I don't think there's anything you can tell me that will make me understand that."

"I'm afraid that I'm going to lose you both," she whispered. "What if you both end up stuck in that place, or- or worse?"

He finally looked at her. "Then we'll be together," he said calmly.

She took a deep breath. "Ed, I'm going to have a baby."

He blinked. "What?"

"I'm pregnant. If you go, I'll be all alone. And so will the baby."

He gaped at her. "You and Al…?"

She forced herself not to break his gaze, and shook her head slowly.

His gold eyes widened further, and his skin paled. He seemed to sway where he stood. "It can't be… mine?"

She nodded. "I think so."

"But-"

"I'm sorry," she said quickly, the words pouring out of her, searching his face for some kind of response. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I'm sorry for all the things I said this afternoon, I know I must have sounded insane to you. It's not that I don't want you to try to bring Al back, I do, I miss him more than anything, but… I'm afraid to be alone."

He just stared at her. "You didn't tell me," he said finally.

"I didn't know until a few weeks ago, and… I did try, a few times."

His gold eyebrows rose. "You didn't try very hard."

"I was scared," she admitted.

"Of?" he prompted.

"I thought you would be angry," she said quietly, looking away. "I thought you wouldn't want a family, not now, not with me, not after… you said you regretted it. You said you wished it never happened. You hated it."

His eyes widened again. "I didn't hate it!" he protested. He sat down in one of the chairs, staring at the table. "I definitely didn't hate it," he repeated. Why do you hide things from me? he asked in his mind, but he did not speak the question. How many things had he hid from her over the years? How many things was he hiding from her now? He felt he could suddenly read her expressions in a way he never could before, or perhaps it was only that he never tried. The relief and, was it almost joy? that smoothed her features caused his heart to wrench.

"Ed, you cant be serious! You expect me to believe you?" Al asked him teasingly. "You've never been on a date?"

He just shrugged. "C'mon, what girl would want to go on a date with me?"

Al's expression was mocking. "I dunno, a bookworm maybe, someone who drowns herself in other people's words, just like you do. Imagine how much you'd have to talk about!"

Ed rolled his eyes. "I have you for that, Al."

Al laughed. "Well, that's very sweet, but I worry about you, you know? You never try to meet anyone. Aren't you even interested in girls?"

Ed fixed him with a serious gaze. "I have more important things to think about, you know that. I don't have time for dates and girls." He snorted. "Besides, what kind of girl," he asked his friend slowly, "could possibly find me attractive?" His eyes took on that faraway look they got sometimes, the one that made Al's mind burn with questions he never dared to ask. "Unless there's someone out there who has a thing for mechanical parts."

"Well, I think you're pretty attractive," Al said shyly. "Mechanical parts and all."

His friend just rolled his eyes again, returning to stirring his coffee. "There was a girl, once," he said softly, in a brief moment of honesty. "She was my best friend, and my brother's best friend." He gave a light laugh. "Hell, she was practically the only girl I knew, or noticed, at least. And she was very beautiful."

"What happened to her?" Al asked hesitantly. Ed's voice was so soft, and his eyes were so sad, that he half expected Ed to tell him that this girl had died, or that something else tragic had come between them.

"I don't know," he said, very quietly. "She probably wonders the same thing about me." He pushed his chair away from the table, standing abruptly and tossing a few bills on the table to pay for their coffee. "Let's get out of here," he said shortly, making it very clear that the reminiscence was over.

No, he definitely didn't hate it. "You're not going to be alone, Winry," he said slowly. "I promise, I'm not going to leave you alone."

Her voice had a cold edge to it when she spoke. "You've said that before," she accused. "You always said you would come back."

He looked at her blankly. "No, I didn't," he said, and it was true, she realized suddenly, her heart sinking into her stomach. The Ed in her mind, the Ed in her dreams had held her and promised he would come back to her. The Ed in reality had only promised to make things right again. "But I'm saying it now. I'm not going to leave you alone."