AN HEROIC LOVE

Chapter Six

Elladan's Tale Part Three

GILWEN'S JOURNAL

Fourth Entry

FA 2 Annúminas

For nearly a year and half we have lived in Annúminas and the city is emerging from all its long years of abandonment and neglect. Most of our people have converged here and we have enjoyed the task of setting things to rights. I hear tell the Shire folk have called the past year or so The Great Year of Plenty and it is true. Never in my life have the farmed crops grown so well or yielded so much and new or restored buildings arise with regularity.

The men rarely ride out anymore, only to scout or contest the small pockets of orcs that remain, and we are slowly making the transition from small distinct bands of scattered folk to a larger society. It is interesting to meet so many of our distant kin and slowly but surely we are all finding our places in this new world.

I have been assisting my father in any way possible in this great work. My primary task in the last year was to keep a census of our people. As each small group arrived I would meet them, take down their names and help them to find suitable, if perhaps temporary living quarters and see that they were employed in some livelihood that would support their own families and contribute to the well being of the city.

Many nights I have toiled in ordering these records and in keeping ledgers of food stores and updating maps of the city as new buildings arose. I have had almost no time for myself but what little I do I have put to use in creating the beginnings of a small library for the use of our people.

Some nights I walk the shore of Lake Evendim, enjoying the rippling of the waves and the clear starry sky. It is at these times that I think about my future and wonder if marriage and children are in the offing for me. As it is, there are many more women than men of marriageable age and my duties keep me from getting to know most of them.

Oft times my thoughts return to the elder son of Elrond. I look for the same fire in the eyes of our men, or the same sense of possibility or excitement and I see it not. They all seem to be intimidated by me – whether it is because of my stubborn strength of mind or my father's position I know not, but my thoughts often stray toward the elf.

He said he would return and he wished to know me better. He had kept part of his promise with the safe return of my father and I did not doubt the other, but nearly two years have past and perhaps it may seem as a blink of an eye to an elf, but it felt a long time to me. Despite my outward display of determined concentration, I was fitful inside.

I was coming to believe even more that Elladan was my match – in both strength and wit, but I held back much of my thought – was he not an elf? Then I would hearken back into history – Beren and Luthien, Tuor and Idril – and the history made even now. Was not the King wed to Elladan's sister? My own mind warred within itself between the seeming impossibility of such a match and the glimmer of hope that my heart could not cast loose.

It was one of these nights, whilst I was strolling the quiet shore, that I espied a lone rider off in the distance. At first, I was frightened, and started to run, but as the rider came closer I saw his right hand raised and heard him call out,

"Daro! Dartha! – Stop! Wait!"

He soon came upon me and then I recognized the horse and its rider. It was Elladan. He had kept his promise and I felt hope rise in my chest and I was glad it was dark and he could not see my blush.

He brought his horse up next to me and gracefully dismounted, bringing his right leg up and over and then sliding off. Breathlessly and with a slight incline of his head, he said my name.

"Lady Gilwen."

"Lord Elladan." I smiled back.

He was dark as the night, but the light of his grand-sire glinted off of his eyes and his skin shone fair as he smiled back.

"I am just come from Imladris with news for your father; welcome news, I think, and I would make good the promise I made these two years past. May I walk with you?"

"Oh, yes." I answered much too quickly, but then saw his shoulders relax as he matched his pace with mine.

"Tell me, what news for my father?"

"My brother…I mean, the King has appointed him a Councillor of the North Kingdom and even more than that, Prince and Lord of Arnor, if he will accept it."

"Oh," I replied with a sharp intake of breath, my thoughts racing. It was wonderful news for father of course; a just reward for all his long years of service and loyalty, but still I wondered what this required of me. Would my work change? Would even more be expected of me?

I think Elladan read my thoughts for he reached his hand out to mine, and taking it said,

"You need not fret. Your life is still your own is it not? Yes, it will be different for you but I have learned that change is inevitable and not all unwelcome. Should we have lived under the Shadow for ever? You will see Imladris again, for the council has been called there two months hence and I bid your father to bring you with him. We have need of your skills, fair Lady. And, I would make good also on the second part of my promise. I would know you better, if you would allow it."

"Yes, I would allow it." I answered but I dared not let my eyes meet his. "And I will look forward to seeing Lord Elrond's fine house again, for there I felt content as I have nowhere else. How fare you, Lord Elladan?"

"It has been both bitter and sweet for me, my Lady. My father has departed these lands and sailed west, along with many from our household. The management of Imladris is now left to me and I find it more difficult than I ever imagined."

"But what of Elrohir?" I inquired.

Laughing, Elladan responded,

"He has found love, my fair Lady, with a woman of the Rohirrim, and has removed therefore to the land of the horse lords. I have never seen him so light of spirit and content. He has belayed his fey countenance in favor of that of a healer, scholar and artist. I do miss him though."

My heart soared at this news. I was happy for Elladan's brother, of course, but if Elrohir would wed a mortal woman…

"Will you sail also?" I asked.

"I have not yet made that decision. I still have some time to think on it. And now, fair Lady, nay, fair Princess, shall I escort you back to your father's house?

"Thank you Lord Elladan, but please do not call me Princess. I am simply Gilwen of the Dunedain and daughter of Gilbarad and proud enough of that."

"And I would wish you forswear my title as well Gilwen, and call me Elladan, if it would please you."

"Of course. Elladan," I replied and then I noticed that in all of our conversation, Elladan had not dropped my hand. He then took it away and beckoned me to ride with him. He helped me onto his horse and then jumped behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. Nestling into his warm embrace and the safety of his arms, we rode together back to the house.

He stayed two days more, most of it enmeshed in meetings with father, but the day before he left he asked me to dine with him and then ride out on the shores of Lake Evendim. I was pleased by the invitation and quickly accepted.

I learned much more about him that night, and I learned also more about father, for we spoke of the Ring-Quest and of the deeds of the Grey Company. Elladan told me of Rohan and Umbar, of the Pelannor Fields and the Morannon.

But what I saw most as we spoke together that night was the kindness and gentility that he possessed. As eager as I was to know all of the tale, I can tell he was selective in all that he told. And although I wished to disprove this impression that I was some fair flower to be spared such dark detail, I found I enjoyed, even reveled, in his kind regard for me.

We laughed often and many times I saw the glimmer in those deep eyes grow to the flame that had so first enchanted me. Upon our return to the house, he took leave of me, but not before he had taken both of my hands in his and spoke.

"Gilwen, I wish you to know what this evening has meant to me. I have not felt so light-hearted in many a day and for that, I thank you. I very much look forward to your visit to Imladris and I hope you will deign to spend time with me there."

"Uma, – yes." I answered in his own tongue, "I would very much like that, Elladan, and to see more of Imladris as well. When I was there three years ago, I found it the most tranquil place I had ever seen and have longed to return. Yes, I look forward to that, and to seeing you again."

I smiled up at him as he moved his hands to my shoulders. He sighed out a long breath and drew me closer and I moved into his warm embrace.

Yes, I thought, Yes. This is where I belong, where I feel safe, where I feel untouched by my burdens and long years of toil. I knew at that moment that I was his, if the Valar should bless it, and as we said our goodnights, I found myself floating…

As Elrond sat reading, Celeborn finally spoke with Erestor, and Celebrían and her mother walked the many gardens of Imlothien. They talked of many things, but none so much as the twins and Arwen. Galadriel had been somewhat surprised by the equanimity with which her daughter had taken the news, and was curious.

"Tell me, Celebrían," she began, "How is it with you? Truly, I had anticipated that you would grieve mightily, and though I see some sorrow in your eyes, it is remembrance that I see even more. Do you not mourn?"

"Oh Naneth, of course I do, but you already know how it is with me. I have lived in the bliss of Valinor a long time now and like you, visited Lórien often. Where once I was broken, after many long years of reflection and acceptance, now I am whole. When I first made the decision to sail west, I grieved. And grieved mightily, as you say. Elladan and Elrohir had already embarked on their missions of vengeance and Elrond only stayed to finish what he had begun. Any of them could reside even now in the Halls of Mandos and I would not see them again or at least not for a long while. I suppose that my grief crested then and now I simply seek to maintain my hard fought contentment. Besides, Elrond has enough sadness for both of us and I would help to assuage it, if he would let me."

"Even more than that mother, beyond his sorrow, he takes all of the blame on himself. He laments his Peredhil heritage and the choice that it forced on our children. I do not think he ever considered that they would choose the Gift of Men."

"Did you?" asked Galadriel.

"No, not really." answered Celebrían. "But I knew when we married that any children we had would face this choice. And their lives could have taken any direction – what with where they lived and with whom they fought.

"Ah yes," said Galadriel. "We all see things through our own prisms, do we not? His choice of elf-kind was made easily and even now he does not understand his brother's choice, or his children's. I hope that through the letters we brought he may begin to see more clearly. And perhaps Celeborn and I could persuade both of you to accompany us on our journey south. Elrond should go to Lórien, Cel-nin."

"Perhaps we will, Naneth, if we can get Elrond to leave his work here."

Galadriel laughed at this, finding humor in Elrond's ever present commitment to duty and work.

"Here we are in Aman, with an eternity before us and all Elrond can think of is work that needs to be done. My daughter, Elrond chose elf-kind but he has not yet found full expression in elvendom. Maybe it is time he learned to live as an elf in Valinor, joyful in all that surrounds us. Yes. I think it is time that Elrond learned what his own choice meant – as well as that of his children. I will ponder this more and speak with your father. We will help him find his contentment, Cel-nin. "

"Mother," Celebrían answered, "I do think it is true that part of our task involves this, but also a true appreciation for all of Illuvatar's gifts – including the Secondborn. Did you not teach me that we are both the creation of Eru's own mind and hence find equal merit? We must endeavor to have Elrond come to this on his own. Your know this. He is a most strong-willed elf, mother."

At this, both mother and daughter smiled knowingly, and with hope in their hearts proceeded along their walk.

Meanwhile, Elrond pondered all he had read thus far. He had not considered that Elrohir would be the first to choose. His younger son seemed to him more contemplative and more cautious than his elder brother. And his instincts were good, which generally tempered his brother's more audacious ventures. Elrohir smoldered while Elladan blazed. And yet, the younger twin held also a certain spark of spontaneity within him, a creativity that found its expression in the healing arts and his painting.

Elrond wondered, and not for the first or last time, whether he had really known his children at all. How could he have not foreseen their final choice? Did he not do everything he could to prevent it? Thoughts started to unravel in his mind, back to his own parents, whom he had barely known and then Maglor, whose place in his life was still not a settled thing in his mind.

He shook his head then, clearing his mind from such circling thoughts and once more took up Gilwen's journal…

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