Parvati, gasping, finally made it to the lake waters, where the filthy, untreated water of nature that should never, ever be bottled did little to cool her skin. Which was pretty sad, since she was sure that when one was enveloped in flames, some painless third degree burns would actually emerge. Curse the way human flesh reacted to flame! Couldn't it just be even?

But it was too late, no matter what severity of burns she now had. The other girls had proved that they were more worthy of Neville's love. It was too late, too late for her! She sobbed extra salt into the water, regretting her misfortune.

"Oh, for crying out loud, use the Flame Freezing Charm!" a voice above her suggested kindly.

Parvati looked past the flames still leaping from her body to a face of much evil. It was Cho the Vampire.

Parvati gasped. "Have you come to drain my blood?"

Cho rolled her eyes. "No way, that's sick. I only perform my midnight feasts upon hot guys that I wish to turn into vampires."

"So you don't want Neville to be a vampire?"

"Of course I do! But it must be the perfect moment!" Cho sighed dreamily. "Now perform that Flame Freezing Charm before Zombie Hermione has to go for the brains of a Muggle plastic surgeon!"

The Flame Freezing Charm. Of course. Parvati felt a bit silly, and blushingly performed the spell. Immediately the flames turned into happy tickles. She giggled.

"Ooh, frozen flames!" Cho squealed, putting her hand in.

"Morons." Hermione the Zombie appeared, looking rather irked. "It's very creepy to have a burning girl on the beach when this stupid water should have washed them away."

"Won't work," Cho replied. "Earlier Pansy cursed the waters so now girls can try and leave."

Hermione sighed, pulled out a wand of rotting flesh-covered bone, and swished the flames from Parvati.

"Gee," said Parvati. "Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?"

Both Cho and Hermione's eyes went dark, darker than blood under moonlight.

"Because," Hermione said in a voice that was even darker than her eyes. "We wish you to join our ranks of Sexy Hot Supernatural Chicks."

"SHSC?" Parvati tried to pronounce.

"Don't try," Cho advised. "We didn't mean it to be a cute little acronym. Anyway, since you were set on fire, we thought that you could be Parvati the Will-o-Whisp."

"How can I--"

"Fantasy writers and video game creators refuse to pick up a simple book of actual folklore for their beings. So we figure we'd do the same and give you a name that simply sounded cool."

"Parvati the Will-o-Whisp," Parvati the Will-o-Whisp said thoughtfully. "I like! So, we're all friends?"

"Of course," said Hermione. "Freaky supernatural books always have a hot guy with a harem. We figure we'll pretend to get along until all the mortals are destroyed, then fight for Neville among just the three of us. Now you must join us for a bit of disaster. They're voting someone off the island."

Indeed, it was that time when Ginny, Pansy, and Lavender, the only survivors, had to vote one of their own off the island.

Ginny had put herself in charge of tallying the votes. An irritating job.

"Lavender, for the last time," she screeched. "You cannot vote Simon off of the island! He's not on the island! He's the guy on American Idol!"

Lavender sniffed. "I still don't like him."

"He's not competing for Neville's affections!" Ginny sighed. "Okay, next one. Pansy, Simon's not on the island!"

Pansy scowled. "So who did you vote off?"

Ginny blushed. "Never mind."

"You voted off Simon!" Pansy and Lavender chanted.

Another sigh. "Fine. We'll wait till next week. If Simon was on the island with us right now, he'd get kicked off. Now, to our next order of business. I thought we should all make cute little cards for Neville."

Pansy and Lavender cheered. And all three girls brought out all their scrapbooking stuff and set to work making cards.

They were too busy noticing the three Sexy Hot Supernatural Chicks sneaking to the voting booth, ready to put the three survivors even more against one another...

And, somewhere in the trees, Simon laughed evilly.

Shout Outs!

Lady Rosinsniffer: Pansy and Ginny dueling is VERY likely.

RealityIntrovert: Oh, I love Ginny. I just might actually have her survive.

xPussyWillowKittenx: Hey, nothing like humor, blood, and gore! Thanks!

hydraspit: Thanks!

Lady Kazaana: Don't worry; Luna shall return in glory.

BaYeR04rulz: Hey Grace!