Everybody, sorry for the long wait, but Episode 4 is done! And a Hello to my favorite critic/friend, the lovely Seto's Sister!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Survivor, nor any of the songs I'm using in this fan fic. They all have very caring owners that they belong to!
13 Duelists are left… The Pootietang Tribe is up by 1… whos gonna be the next person tossed of the island? Find out today on:
Survivor: Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Yu-Gi-Oh! Style!
Another day arrives on the Island as our survivors awaken for another day…
The Pootietang tribe is working on a project… all except Duke Devlin, who is still playing with the tape recorder he used to record Joey and Tristan's apology.
The Gazonga tribe is working on a project of their own.. all except Seto Kaiba. He's in a secret room in the mansion, sitting at an art desk with blueprints pinned up all around his work station, a cup of coffee in the corner, a pencil behind his ear, and he's wearing a pair of glasses.
Kaiba: This will be my Ultimate Revenge, Yugi! This will make Death-T look like a kiddy land amusement park! (He looks over his shoulder to see the torn up remains of the "Kaiba's Daddy" T-shirt lying on the floor. He hocked a loogie on it, then turned back to his work).
Bitch thinks he's SO funny… ill show his skinny ass… I'll show you all!
Location: Pootietang Tribe : 2:12pm
(CAMERA TIME)
Tristan Taylor : Pootietang Tribe
Tristan: Me and Joey are cool now about the whole toothbrush incident. He even promised the buy me a new one. I tell ya, nothin' touches these sexy ass molars but Oral-B, baby! Yeah, that's right! The B is for BABY! So anyways, I need to get something off my chest… we need to get rid of that annoying ass Duke Devlin! He thinks just because he got laid by the hottest girl at our school, that he's hot shit! We'll he's nothing but a pain in the ass! I NEVER liked his skeleton lookin butt! Right from day one, the minute I saw him, I was like, "I bet that guy is gay! He probably love big, buff, burly men!
Scene cuts to Joey and Tristan watching Soul Train on an old black and white tv that washed on the shore
Joey: Hey, I don't know if the TV is fuckin up again, but dat girl has got a big ass!
Tristan: It ain't the TV, man… that girl has got a ghetto booty!
They both look at each other.
Joey and Tristan: Badunkadunk!
They slap five.
Bakura runs past them and hides under the table
Bakura: YOU HAVENT SEEN ME! FOR THE LOVE OF OBELISK, YOU HAVENT SEEN ME!
Joey: Da fuck!
Duke walks up to Joey and Tristan
Duke: Has any of you guys seen Bakura?
Joey and Tristan watches Bakura as he desparately begs silently not to rat him out.
Tristan: … I don't know… Joey… have we seen Bakura?
Joey: … Ba- who – a?
Duke: Oh well… guess I have to tell YOU guys what happened.
Joey: OH HELL NAW!
Tristan: NOT THAT FUCKIN STORY AGAIN!
Joey and Tristan started running like madmen into the woods with Duke following them the whole while.
Duke: Ok, It was after school and I had to stay after to tutor this chick! Well I didn't know she was gonna bring her friend along, and one thing led to another…
(CAMERA TIME)
Bakura Ryou : Pootietang Tribe
Bakura: I didn't want to put Joey and Tristan through that, but Duke told me that story like 8 times in the past 30 minutes! I think he's just being cocky! I mean, look at me! I'm hot! If I wanted to, I could sleep with Paris Hilton! But then again, who hasn't, right! (Smiles brightly)
Later that night, Bakura slept. He was suddenly woken up.
Bakura: GOOD HEAVENS! WHAT THE….
A hand covered Bakura's mouth as he slowly turned his head to see the dark, shadowy figure of Yami Yugi looming over him. Yami put his index finger to his lips and motioned for Bakura to follow him. Outside, Joey, Tristan, Mai, Duke and Mako were standing outside Bakura's hut.
Bakura: Is this an Immunity Challenge? Its like 3am.
Yami Yugi: Not exactly. Were going on a little… Midnight walk…
Bakura: How refreshing!
Yami Yugi handed Bakura a backpack.
Yami Yugi: DO NOT open that until we get to our destination!
Bakura: (smiling) Were going to camp out? How fun!
Yami Yugi: Lets go… and don't make a SOUND! The last thing we need are those cameras on our asses.
Yami Yugi led his tribe through the brush. They were being as quiet and careful as can be, like a bunch of ninjas in the night. Duke started going on and on about how he's a ladies man, pissing everyone off. Joey wanted to jab him with a rusted knife, but Yugi told him not to, telling him that they'll need Duke for their latest "project". As they arrived at their destination, Yugi put his index finger over his lips again and pointed at none other than the Gazonga Tribe mansion.
Mai: what are we doing here?
Yami Yugi: we're gonna do a little… redecorating… if you know what I mean!
Joey and Tristan both had huge kool-aid grins on their faces
Yami Yugi: Pootietang… have a ball!
Everyone had a great time as they tagged up the house. Duke however hit an alarm wire, and sirens blared and searchlights came on.
Tristan: (whips around so fast he almost gave himself whiplash) WHAT THE HELL! WHAT THE FUCK?
Mai: DUKE YOU STUPID JACKASS!
Joey: (looking around, panicking) IM GONNA FILE THIS UNDER THE CATEGORY OF NOT GOOD!
Bakura: What'll we do now, Yugi! Yugi?
Everyone looked around to see Yami Yugi hauling ass through the bushes. He was running so fast that he disappeared in the darkness. Mako closed his eyes and crossed his arms.
Mako: In a situation like this, Yugi did exactly the right thing.
Without warning, Mako broke out running. For someone who walked around barefoot, he could move pretty fast under pressure! The remaining members of the Pootietang tribe followed Yugi and Mako's example and took off running. Duke, falling behind, grabbed Bakura and pulled him back. Bakura tripped as he was pulled back. Joey, Mai, and Tristan saw that.
Joey, Tristan, and Mai: BAKURA!
Duke started pushing them.
Duke: NO TIME! KEEP RUNNING!
Soon, the Pootietang tribe was panting from running so hard inside Yugi's hut.
Yami Yugi: O…k… which one… of you …. Klutzes…. Tripped… the fuckin… ALARM?
Joey: Duke Dumbass right here!
Joey socked Duke in the arm
Yami Yugi: Shit! WHERES BAKURA!
Tristan: Duke Dickweed right here wouldn't let us stop to see!
Tristan punched Duke in the other arm.
Duke: Hey, it was every man for themselves. Bakura just…
Yami Yugi: Save it! Lets go find Bakura!
The Pootietang tribe walked outside causally, in case the producers of the show were out, but there was someone out there… it was Bakura!
Mai: BAKURA! THANK RA YOUR OK!
Joey: What a relief! We thought you got caught by Kaiba!
Bakura was different… it wasn't the Bakura we all know and love… it was Yami Bakura! Yami Bakura instantly charged straight for Duke and speared him on the ground and started whaling on him.
Yami Bakura: SON OF A BITCH! YOU SON OF A RAT BASTARD! I SWALLOWED A FUCKIN ROACH WHEN YOU TRIPPED ME! A NASTY PIECE OF SHIT MUTHAFUCKIN ROACH!
Everyone watched as Yami Bakura pummeled Duke to oblivion.
Mai: As much as I'm enjoying this… shouldn't we stop this?
Tristan: (sitting on a log with his legs crossed, eating a bowl of popcorn) Hell no! I'm enjoying this!
The next morning, on a more luxurious side of the island, the CBS producers sat at a round table and had breakfast. They were laughing, joking, having a great time, telling Pegasus jokes and how theyre going to be the number 1 channel on Network t.v. Suddenly, without warning, Seto Kaiba busted into the trailor. The producers jumped at the door slamming. Kaiba walked straight up to Jeff Probst and grabbed him by the arm, then dragged him outside behind him.
Jeff: Kaiba! Kaiba! What are you doing? We aren't scheduled to be on the air for another hour and a half! What's the big idea!
Kaiba didn't say a word… he instead, had a very, VERY angry look on his face. They arrived at the Gazonga Mansion. Kaiba pulled Jeff in front of him and pointed angrily at the mansion
Kaiba: LOOK AT THIS SHIT!
The mansion was tagged all over the place with different colored spraypaint. The mansion was also decorated with toilet paper and eggs… some regular, and others rotten. His famous black limo was keyed all over. There was also poor drawings of the other Gazonga tribe members, like one that said "Kaiba is gay" and he was wearing a rainbow colored shirt with a huge grin on his face. It was a horrible scene.
Jeff: Oh my god… who could have done such a thing!
Kaiba: It was that fuckin Yugi! I want his ass right here… NOW! Not only is he gonna clean this shit up, im gonna have a fuckin cat o' nine tails to lash his ass every other second! You get him here NOW!
Jeff: Seto… I don't Yugi is to blame for this. The Tribes aren't allowed on each other's property.
Kaiba: WELL THAT DIDN'T STOP THAT NUTTY ASS FISHERMAN FROM COMING OVER HERE, NOW DID IT?
Kaiba grabbed Jeff again and walked him over to the side of the mansion
Kaiba: This should PROVE that Yugi is to blame!
Kaiba, now uber-pissed, pointed at a messege on the side of the house that said, "Pootietang Rules"
Jeff: Seto… this STILL doesn't prove anything! Anyone could have done that to frame the Pootietang Tribe! But if it makes you feel better, we'll talk to Yugi and his tribe and get to the bottom of this.
Kaiba: TALK? TO HELL WITH TALK! THE ONLY THING THAT'S GONNA BE TALKIN IS MY FOOT, AS IT'S GETTING SHOVED DIRECTLY UP YUGI'S ASS!
ON AIR!
Location: Pootietang Tribe: 2:21pm
Jeff is interrogating Yugi. Jeff is pacing around the hut with Yugi sitting on a log with his legs crossed, cool as a cucumber.
Jeff: Ok Yugi! Be honest… did you and your tribe trash the Gazonga Mansion?
Yami Yugi: (a face, innocent look on his face) Jeff! I would NEVER do a thing like that! Sure, me and Kaiba have had our differences, but I can assure you that me and my tribe had NOTHING to do with the whole spray paint and limo being keyed incident.
Jeff: Hmmm… that's odd… because I never mentioned the spray paint… the limo being keyed.
Yami Yugi: … shit… (quickly holds up the Millennium Puzzle) This bad boy gives me the ability to see what goes on around this island. So I know all about what happened to the Gazonga Mansion!
Jeff: funny… doesn't the Millennium Necklace gives the user that abili…
Yugi reaches into his back pocket and quickly whipped out the Millennium Necklace and flashed it in front of Jeff's face.
Jeff: ok… well that still doesn't explain the fact that "Pootietang Rules" was tagged on the side of the house.
An empty can of spray paint suddenly rolled out from under Yugi's bed, but he quickly shoved it back under with his foot.
Yami Yugi: … fuck this shit… I'm outta here!
The Millenium Puzzle flashed, and young Yugi was standing there.
Yugi: It was all Duke! He wanted to mess with Kaiba's head! He was the one who tripped the wire!
Jeff: ok, thank you Yugi. I knew your honesty would get the best of you.
As Jeff left the hut, Yami Yugi's transparent image appeared next to Yugi.
Yami Yugi: You know… you probably just fucked Duke over
Yugi: So? He shouldn't be such a stupid bitch.
Location: Middle of the Island : 3:00pm
Rewards Challenge
Our survivors gathered on the middle of the Island, talking amongst themselves. Kaiba was staring a hole through Yugi (but hey, what else is new, right?) but something wasn't right… Duke wasn't there. Jeff entered to explain the new challenge to everyone.
Joey: Hey Probst. Where's Devlin's skeleton lookin' ass?
Jeff: I'm getting ready to explain that. Well survivors, since an unfortunate turn of events took place last night, I think we all know what that was…
Yami Yugi pointed at Kaiba, then raised an eyebrow with a huge grin on his face, letting him know that Yugi really was behind the whole prank. Kaiba then mouth the words, "fuckin son of a whore." back at Yugi.
Jeff: So due to this turn of events, we had to "dismiss" the person behind that stunt. Yes, Duke Devlin, was kicked off the island.
Cheers and hoots and hollers soon arouse from the Pootietang side.
Jeff: Now, because of this, were gonna have a Rewards Challenge. No sweat-breaking work today. This will be easy. The Team Captains will
Kaiba: FIGHT TO THE DEATH!
Jeff: NO! you'll both draw a card from the top of your decks. The one with the highest attack points wins! If it's a trap or magic card, then draw til you get a monster card. Now Team Captains, to the front.
Yugi and Kaiba faced each other. Yugi with his clever smirk on his face, and Kaiba with his uber-pissed off look… now he's REALLY made because he knows that Yugi really was the one who tagged his mansion and keyed his limo. I mean, he may be the President of a large multimillion dollar company, but he has to keep his shit lookin pimpin!
Kaiba: I should punch you in your fuckin nose.
Yami Yugi: You ain't gonna do SHIT.
Kaiba: You wanna bet you little fuck-nugget!
Jeff: ahem!
Kaiba and Yami Yugi set their decks down on a log. Shouts of encouragement came from both sides of the tribes, rooting on their team leader. Both of them placed their hands on their decks.
Jeff: Survivors ready… DRAW!
Kaiba draws his card and grins like a psychopath. Not saying a word, he looks Yugi dead in his eyes and flips his card around, Revealing the Blue-Eyes Shining Dragon!
Kaiba: Beat that you pansy ass son of a bitch! (turns to Jeff) Just give us the prize, Probst! Ain't NO card in Yugi's deck strong enough to beat this bad boy right here! (turns back to Yugi) I've FINALLY beaten you, Yugi! How does the humiliation taste? Are you embarrassed, you clown? You SHOULD be!
Yami Yugi's cocky smirk soon flipped as he put his game face on.
Yami Yugi: (to himself) Heart of the cards… guide me…
Yugi pulled a card and looked at it, then punched his left hand down on the log as he bowed his head and closed his eyes tightly.
Kaiba: SEE! I TOLD YOU! NOTHING CAN COMPARE TO THE BLUE-EYES SHINING DRAGON! SO WHERES YOUR HEART OF THE CARDS BULLSHIT NOW, YUGI! THIS CHALLENGE WAS JUST THE BEGINNING!
Yami Yugi: Grrr… That Blue Eyes Shining Dragon is really powerful!
Jeff: and the Gazonga Tribe wins the…
Yugi: (interrupting Jeff) BUT ITS JUST NOT AS STRONG AS THE SORCERER OF DARK MAGIC, NOW IS IT!
(Yu-Gi-Oh! fact: Sorcerer of Dark Magic really is stronger than Blue-Eyes Shining Dragon. SoDM – 3200 atk., BESD – 3000. So please, no emails saying this isn't true because I own both of those cards… just thought id get that out before the mail came in! and now, back to our story!)
Kaiba: WHAT THE FLYING HELL?
Jeff: And the Pootietang Tribe wins the Reward! (pulls a tarp from over a box) The prize is… a huge box of Chocolate Chip Cookies!
Joey: OH HELLS YEAH!
Tristan: I call first dibs!
Joey and Tristan lifts the huge box of cookies and takes off running, with Mai, Mako, and Bakura running after them.
Mai: HEY BITCHES! FRIENDS SHARE AND SHARE ALIKE!
Kaiba: I don't know how one asshole gets so LUCKY! WHERE ARE YOU GETTING ALL THIS LUCK FROM YOU POMPOUS BASTARD!
Yami Yugi: (turning and walking away with his hands in his pockets) From yo' mama.
Kaiba: FUCKIN SON OF A ……!
CBS security grabs Kaiba before he can try to attack Yugi and drags him back to the Gazonga Campsite, with the other members not far away.
Kaiba: You'll get your you anal crusader! Mark my words!
Yami Yugi: I said it once and I'll say it again… YOU AREN'T GONNA DO SHIT!
OFFAIR
Location: Pootietang Tribe : 3:06am
A group of shadowy figures has infiltrated the Pootietang Tribe Campsite. They each stood holding what looked like flamethrowers. One of the figures stepped forward.
Kaiba: is everybody ready?
Mokuba: Ready big brother.
Odion: awwww, yeah!
Marik: all set on my end.
Bonz: check!
Rex: ready to take it to those bitch-a-saurs!
Kaiba: Alright then. Lets torch this bitch.
And with that, The Gazonga Tribe took aim at Yugi and his tribe's huts.
Kaiba: (singing) The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!
Rex: (singing) We don't need no water, let that motherfucker burn!
Marik: (singing) Burn, motherfucker!
Suddenly, a voice rang from a tall tree overlooking the Pootietang Campsite… the same tree that Mai was topless in.
Joey: HEY! BITCHES!
The Gazonga Tribe turned around only to find that the Pootietang tribe had made a treehouse fort out of that tall tree.
Yami Yugi: FIRE!
The Pootietang tribe started to assault the Gazonga Tribe with rotten eggs and water guns… well, Mako had the water gun… anyways, the Gazonga Tribe ran off screaming! Except for Bonz, who was picking up eggs off the ground and eating them. Then he started to run behind his team as the onslaught of eggs continued.
Tristan: That should teach those bitches to try and fuck with our home!
Joey: Hell yeah! You mess with the ox and you get the horns, baby!
Bakura: Hey Yugi… how long do you think Kaiba is going to keep this little rivalry up?
Yami Yugi: To be perfectly honest, I hope it goes on for a really LONG time! I LOVE pissing him off! Its the funniest thing since Chris Rock! You all should have seen his face when I gave him that 'Yugi's Bitch'" tshirt! That was a fuckin Kodak moment!
The Pootietang tribe laughed hysterically
Joey: Hey Yuge, what about the very first time you beat him at duel monsters! We went off the air when he started crying like a little bitch!
Mai: Oh my god! Are you serious!
Joey: YEAH! THAT FUCKER WAS CRYING HARDER THAN AN 8 YEAR OLD GIRL!
And so, the Pootietang tribe stayed up the rest of the night, not only defending their campsite, but laughing, eating the cookies, and telling Kaiba and Duke Devlin jokes… Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Mai, Bakura, and Mako all had a wonderful time. yes, it was a good time to be a Pootietang member. And we close my friends, with a Happy Ending.
Well, another duelist is eliminated off the island, but another day brings a new challenge and a new adventure. What is in store for our Survivors next week? Will Kaiba FINALLY kill Yugi? Probably not, but hey, its fun watching him try, right? Join us next time for Survivor: Duelist Style!
Please R&R if you have the chance. (Smiles)