Hey Everybody! I've got some free time so I thought I would take some time and start the next chapter while I'm sitting here in the computer lab doing absolutely NOTHING! Lets do it to it!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Survivor, nor any of the songs I'm using in this fan fic. They all have very caring owners that they belong to!
Duelist after Duelist have been eliminated from Destiny Island (not to be confused with the same Destiny Island from Kingdom Hearts. What can I say? I like the name!), but 12 Duelists still remains. Who's going to get kicked off? Who's going to turn on who? Find out today on:
Survivor! Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Jeff: Its another day here on Destiny Island as we join our survivors for yet another day of debauchery. I'm sad to announce however that Bonz, the Duelist from the Gazonga Tribe, has gotten gravely ill and we had to send him home… our best wishes goes out to Bonz… get it… Gravely… grave… hes a Duelist of the dead? Laughs like crazy
Rex Raptor is seen in the background.
Rex: fuckin retard…
(CAMERA TIME)
Rex Raptor: Gazonga Tribe
Rex: That was the gayest joke I've ever heard! Just wanted to let that out. Anyways, it sucks that Bonz got sick. He was a great guy. I had nothing against him. I mean he talked about corpses and cathedrals and all that other weird shit, but hey, at least he has a hobby! But you know what? It serves his ass right? Why would you eat rotten eggs off the ground? I didn't think anything would happen to him cuz he's one of those gothic guys, but that just goes to show you that no matter how weird you are, (Holds up a picture of Weevil) were all still human.
Rex is being told by a stagehand off camera that he thinks he's a dinosaur.
Rex: Dude, that's just a fuckin gimmick! I know damn well I'm not a dinosaur! Come on, how fucked up are you!
Location: Oasis on the Pootietang Property , 2:18pm
Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Mai, Mako, and Bakura are enjoying a hot summer day in their private oasis. Mai is suntaning, Mako fishes on top of a rock, and Yugi, Joey, Bakura, and Tristan plays water dodgeball.
Yugi: Here it comes!
Throws the ball, and is easily caught by Joey.
Joey: (laughing) Got it! NOW TRISTAN!
Tristan quickly gets out of the water, then jumps up into the air. Joey tosses the ball to him, where he easily catches it and spikes it down at Yugi, nailing him right in the face!
Yugi: (has a gigantic welt on his face in the shape of a ball) OWWW…!
Bakura: laughing hysterically, falling back into the water
Tristan: Ok Yuge, u know the deal… whoever got pegged first would have to go ALL the way back to the campsite and get the food that we forgot to bring.
Yugi: (sighing) YEAH YEAH, IM GOING!
Mai: (sitting in a lawnchair, takin in rays, wearing a skimpy bikini and sunglasses) And watch out too… Kaiba may be out there somewhere, planning something.
Yugi: Don't worry about me, guys! Ill be fine!
Yugi gets out of the water and drys off, then puts on his blue pants, black shirt, blue uniform jacket, and those one shoes that look like boots, and starts to walk off into the wilderness, with the Millennium Puzzle around his neck as usual. Joey and Tristan then began to plan something. They talked amongst themselves for a while, then went to opposite ends of the oasis and approached Mai.
Joey: (mouthing words) Are you ready, fool?
Tristan: (mouthing words) Hell yeah! Lets dunk her ass!
Joey and Tristan moved silently… quieter than the night before, when they infiltrated the Gazonga property line, and got closer, and closer to Mai... not making a single sound. Just when the were on the verge of lifting Mai's beautiful body, she pulls a Lara Croft and pulls out two Desert Eagles out of nowhere and pointed them on both sides at Joey and Tristan's heads.
Joey and Tristan: screaming for dear life
Mai: Touch me and ill stain this forest with your fuckin brains.
Mako: (from across the oasis) That bitch is packin' some SERIOUS heat!
Bakura: (from the pool) ooohhh yeah…
Location: Middle of the Jungle : 2:25pm
Yugi is seen walking across the jungle, trying to get back to his tribe so he can return with the food for the picnic. As Yugi walks, he begins to feel uneasy. Yami Yugi's transparent image appeared next to him as he walked through the vast jungle.
Yugi: I've got a bad feeling about this, Pharaoh…
Yami Yugi: What's wrong, Yugi?
Yugi: I just feel like there's something… out there…
Yami Yugi: Yes… and now that you mention it, I can feel a dark presence. Stay on your toes, Yugi.
Deeper and deeper they walked… Yugi had no idea the Oasis was this far from the campsite.. the fear was obviously getting to him. Yugi and his partner stepped through some brush, only to find a huge field of nothing. The trees and bushes have been completely whipped out as there was nothing but vast dirt.
Yugi: Ok, this was NOT there before! Now I've REALLY got a bad feeling about this!
Yami Yugi: What the fuck! What the hell is that noise?
Yugi: What noise?
Yami Yugi: Shhh! Listen!
They both listened… the sound was getting louder and louder.
Yugi: Joey! Tristan! Knock it off! This shit isn't funny anymore!
Yami Yugi: I obviously don't think those two knuckleheads are to blame for this… Yugi! Let me take over!
Yugi: Okay!
Yugi closed his eyes as the Millennium Puzzle flashed.
"YU-GI-OH!"
Yami Yugi kept his eyes closed as he listened to the sound get closer and closer and closer. Suddenly, without warning, his eyes shot open.
Yami Yugi: That's a fuckin automobile!
At the EXACT moment Yami Yugi spoke, he whipped around and saw a camoflauge colored 2003 Safari Nissan Jeep tear out of the brush and was heading straight toward him! Yami Yugi dove out of the way just in the nick of time as the Jeep ALMOST clipped him! The person driving the Jeep was… guess! Come on, I think we all know who that is! Yep! It was Espa Roba! PSYCHE! It was Seto Kaiba! Kaiba looked in his rear view mirror to see Yami stagger to his feet.
Kaiba: Oh no the fuck your not! You aren't getting off the hook that easy you shit stain!
Kaiba pulled the parking brake and frantically turned the wheel, making the Jeep do 3 or 4 sets of donuts til it was facing Yami again. He released the brake and took off at Yami again with the speedometer going up at a fast rate.
Yami Yugi: (shaking his head) KAIBA! YOU BASTARD! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?
Again, Yami dove out of the way, just in the nick of time. Kaiba let out a battle cry the whole time as he tried to run Yami over. Each time he missed, he used his donut technique until he was perfectly aligned with Yami, then took off after him again. Kaiba rolled down his window on the 4th attempt.
Kaiba: I told you I was gonna kill your ass, didn't I Yugi! What do you think of my Destruction Derby of Doom!
Yami Yugi: YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU WANNA TAKE THIS SHIT UP A LEVEL?
Kaiba: YES I DO, ASS FACE!
Kaiba repeated his donut tactic, but instead of aligning himself with Yami, he kept driving, then flipped a bitch (that's a U-turn for those of you who don't know the lingo) and drove at Yamii. This time, he rolled down his window and pointed a gun at him and began firing like crazy! Yami ran as fast as he could, diving every other step to dodge bullets AND and a crazed Jeep. Yami, starting to get tired, jumped into the bushes for safety.
Kaiba: NO YOU DON'T BITCH! YOU ARENT GETTING AWAY THAT EASILY!
Kaiba turned on some special X-Ray headlights, which allowed him to look through the bushes and trees! He saw Yami, crotched behind a boulder.
Kaiba: Your mine you goat rapist!
The Jeep took off into the bushes, mowing shit down as it went through. Yami waited til Kaiba was good and close enough, then, when the time was right, nimbily climbed up a tree, then dived down on Kaiba's jeep, holding 2 giant tree branches with sharp pointed in the end. Yami landed hard on the hood of the jeep as he drove the sharp points of the tree brances into it. The hood started to smoke. Kaiba was turning the steering wheel like a mad man, trying to shake Yugi off.
Kaiba: Get your kamikaze ass off my car so I can run your bitch ass over!
Yami Yugi: (pointing his middle finger up at Kaiba)
Yami waited til the car was just about back in the middle of the dirt field, when he pulled out some dynamite (where he got dynamite from is beyond me), pulled out one of the tree branches, lit the dynamite fuse, and dropped it into the hole. Kaiba shook his head in disgust as he saw what Yami did.
Kaiba: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!
Kaiba took off his seatbelt, opened the car door, and jumped out and defensively rolled on the ground. Yami Yugi did the same as he let of of the remaining tree branch. Both Yami and Kaiba ran like their lives depended on it (which it DID) as the Jeep drove into the middle of the field made an explosion so big it damn there rocked Destiny Island!
Location: Gazonga Tribe : 3:01pm
Rex Raptor, Marik, Odion, and Mokuba are all sitting in the living room of the STILL tagged Gazonga Mansion, playing Halo 2 on XBOX.
Rex: Hey, did you guys hear that?
Marik: yeah! It's the sound of that rocket launcher going up your ass!
Rex: No, demon child! It sounded like a REAL explosion… HOLY SHIT! WHOS GOT THE… FUCK ON A DUCK! I DIED AGAIN!
Mokuba: You SUCK, Rex
Rex: Shut up you wannabe Super Saiyan 3 bitch!
Mokuba stands up and throws his controller down.
Mokuba: What did you just say to me! Ooooohhhh your lucky my big brother were here! If he were…
Rex put on some headphones and pressed play on the stereo.
Rex: (singing out loud) One shot, two shot, three shots, four shots,
All I hear is gun shots, this is where the fun stops,
Marik: (singing) bodies drop, hit the floor, music stops, party stops, everybody hit the door,
Somebody's lickin shots off!
Odion: Master Marik, I thought you liked Sublime… not Eminem and D12…
Marik: What, I cant listen to more than one type of music, Odion! Is that what your saying!
Location : Middle of the Jungle : 3:16pm
Kaiba stormed angrily through the jungle, determined to find Yugi and rip his head off with his own bare hands. Now Kaiba was at a level BEYOND uber-pissed… who even know that was possible! Kaiba's mansion was a mess, he limo has been keyed, one of his favorite jeeps was blown to shit, AND to top it all off, his gun was in that explosion. Kaiba marched through the jungle, kicking rocks, squirrels, and anything else that got in his way. Finally, he found him. Yugi stood there with his game face on and his arms behind his back, looking Kaiba directly in the face.
Kaiba: Yugi… no one… and I mean NO ONE has ever fuckin pissed me off this much before! Do you have any IDEA how badly I wanna see you die!
Yugi didn't answer
Kaiba: ANSWER ME WHEN IM TALKING TO YOU, YOU ASS CLOWN!
Yami Yugi: What if I don't feel like it… NUMBER 2?
Kaiba: IM GONNA FUCKIN RIP YOU APART!
Kaiba suddenly took off his long, white, rock-star like jacket, then charged at Yugi, but as soon as he got close enough, he feel into a Trap Hole! Yami Yugi pulled his hand from behind his back and flashed his Duel Disk at Kaiba as he saw him crotched over in the hole. Yugi put back on his comical grin and looked down at Kaiba
Yami Yugi: (peering inside the hole, talking in a low, monotone voice) … I activate the trap… Trap Hole…
Kaiba: (in a monotone voice) Yugi… when I get out of this hole… your scrawny ass had better be halfway to North Africa… because when I catch you… the whole world is going to see the King of Games get MURDERED!
As Kaiba finished his sentence, an unzipping sound is heard, followed by the dropping of pants.
Kaiba: Yugi… what the fuck are you doing up there?
Yugi: Bitch… you think you can get away with trying to run ME over with a fuckin jeep? Then to add shit to the toilet, you wanna take shots at ME! Your going to get a taste of YUGI revenge now! I hope you enjoy YELLOW SHOWERS, you hot-headed bastard!
Kaiba: You wouldn't dare… don't you do it… ill fuckin strangle you if you… YOU HAD BETTER NOT….
(Camera zooms out and shows the island, as we hear Kaiba screaming in a really high pitched voice!)
Location : Gazonga Tribe : 4:36pm
Rex Raptor, Marik Ishtar, Odion, and Mokuba Kaiba waited for Kaiba to come back. He had been gone an awfully long time, and the Rewards challenge started at 5:00pm sharp. Of course, the only one who was worried was Mokuba. If Kaiba didn't show up, they would officially announce him dead and he would be automatically ejected from the show.
Mokuba: Guys, I'm really worried about my brother.
Rex: don't worry brat. I'm sure Kaiba's gonna be back here any minute… that or he'll just wait at the Rewards Challenge without telling anybody. (whispers to Marik and Odion) because that's just the kind of ungrateful bitch that he is!
Marik and Odion starts to snicker.
Mokuba: I hope your right, Rex… because if he gets eliminated off the Island, then ill just eliminate myself… I refuse to stay here without MY big brother!
(CAMERA TIME)
Rex Raptor : Gazonga tribe
Rex: Ok, this is a SERIOUSLY golden opportunity! If we get rid of Kaiba's bowl-headed ass, then the annoying piece of shit brat goes too! It's a two for one deal baby! HELLS YEAH!
Rex, Marik, and Odion all shift eager, evil grins at one another.
Odion: (breaking the silence) I wonder where Kaiba even went off to?
Rex: Its funny… as he left, he was coming out of that one room behind the wall again with a bunch of blueprints rolled up under his arms… I asked him where he was going and that rat-bastard said, "to your mom's house!"
Marik and Mokuba starts to snicker. Odion tries his hardest to contain his laughter.
Rex: man, fuck you anal-dactyls! Anyways, then I saw him on his cell phone, and he lead a bunch of lumberjacks into the jungle, and he was driving some camaflauge colored jeep.
Mokuba: That's one of his favorite cars… You don't think he's…
Marik: Trying to kill Yugi? Good luck! I fuckin tried everything under the sun! That bitch gives a whole new meaning to the term, "die hard"!
Mokuba: NO! HE'S BUILDING KAIBA LAND SAFARI ADVENTURE! MY BIG BROTHER IS SOOO COOL!
The classic anime sweat drops drop down from the back of Rex, Marik, and Odion's heads. Rex slaps his forhead and shakes his head.
Rex: And YOU are SOOO fuckin dense!
Finally the front door to the mansion busts open, and Kaiba walks in, pissed as usual, but with a VERY good reason to be. His long, rock star robe like jacket was closed. Kaiba walked straight towards the bathroom, right past his team, not saying anything to anyone.
Mokuba: (runs up and hugs his brother) Big Brother! I missed you!
Marik: (to himself) Speak for yourself!
Rex: (walking towards Kaiba) Dude, where have you been? We have to get ready for the Rewards challenge! And you better stop talking shit about my mama because that comment earlier today was TOTALLY uncalled for! I don't know what…
Rex suddenly jumps back and covers his nose. Marik and Odion look at each other. They both pull their shirts over their noses.
Rex: DUDE YOU FUCKIN' STINK! WHAT HAPPENED, YOU GOT SKUNKED OR SOMETHIN'?
Odion: oh fuck! That shit's horrible!
Mokuba: HEY YOU GUYS BETTER STOP THAT! MY BROTHER… DOES NOT… STINK…
Mokuba suddenly passed out from the stench.
Marik: THAT FUCKIN SMELL COULD KNOCK A DOG OFF A MOTHERFUCKIN' MEAT WAGON!
Kaiba suddenly whips around and decks both Rex and Marik in the stomach, leaving them both on their knees holding their stomachs. He then walked to the bathroom, completely ignoring Odion. Because really… would you mess with a guy that size and that ripped? Only if you have a death wish!
REWARDS CHALLENGE
Location : Beach : 5:10pm
The tribes were gathered at the beach as Jeff Probst was about to announce the next challenge. At this point, Kaiba didn't care about the game anymore. Episode after Episode, Yugi made him look like a clown, and now Kaiba was ready to do something about it… however, Yugi was ONCE AGAIN one step ahead of him…
Jeff: Welcome Survivors, to your next Rewards Challenge! You competed for a lifetime supply of chocolate chip cookies, and now, you will all be competing for… (pulls a tarp off of a large box) A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF DORITOS!
The Pootietang and Gazonga tribes both "ooh"ed and "aah"ed.
Joey: Hey Probst… what kind of Doritos are we talkin' ova here?
Jeff: Nacho Cheese, Spicy Nacho, Cool Ranch, Salsa, Ranchero, Guacamole, Four Cheese, and …
Tristan: Salsa Verde!
Jeff nods his head.
Joey and Tristan: HOODY HOO! (They both slap 5)
Jeff: This Rewards Challenge is a simple arm wrestling match… however, Yugi and Kaiba are forbidden to enter. Not just because of the fact that they did the first one, but it seems Yugi has put a restraining order on Kaiba…
(A Group of police officers surrounded Yugi as he pointed to Kaiba, smiled brightly, and flipped him off.)
Kaiba: YOU STAR HEADED BITCH! YOU CANT HIDE BEHIND THE FUCKIN LAW FOREVER!
Yami Yugi: Wanna bet?
Kaiba: If I have to, ill run for President just to kill your ass!
Yami Yugi: Hey Genius, not only are you already a president, but we live in JAPAN… not AMERICA! Dumbass.
Kaiba: YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHEN TO SHUT THE FUCK UP, DO YOU?
Kaiba tried to charge at Yugi, but his team pulled him back… that and the fact that the cops had guns pointed at Kaiba at that very moment.
Jeff: Okaaaay… anyways, tribes, pick your representative.
Everyone huddled together as they talked amoungst themselves. Finally, Mako and Odion stepped forward, and sat at the table that was placed for this event. The table was a professional arm wrestling table with the two bars sticking out of it for gripping with the other hand. Mako and Odion tightly gripped each other's hands and stared each other in the eye.
Odion: Your fuckin goin down, Fish boy!
Mako: the DAMN I will! The fisherman of the sea will NOT lose to a bald bitch with pubic hair sticking out the back of his head!
Jeff grabs both of their clutched-together hands.
Jeff: Survivors ready… GO!
Jeff quickly lets go as they both try as hard as they could to get each other's hand down. They were both evenly matched as the hands went from left, to right, to left, to right. Shouts of encouragement came from both sides as sweat started to fall from both of their faces. The excitement from the match and the craving for the chips was starting to get to Joey.
Joey: (has his right fist balled up and thinking to himself) Man, I gotta do somethin' to help Mako win… (suddenly, a sly grin shot across his face) I KNOW! (Out loud) OH MY GOD! ODION LOOK! ISHIZU IS BARE-ASS NAKED ON THE BEACH WITH HER LEGS SPREAD WIDE OPEN!
Rex: (Looking around like crazy) OH MY FUCKIN GOD, WHERE!
Odion: (quickly whips around, completely forgetting about the match) WHAT! MISS ISHIZU! HAVE YOU NO SHAME! COVER UP RIGHT THIS…
SLAM!
Mako slammed Odion's hand down.
Jeff: And Mako wins the Rewards Challenge! The Pootietang tribe once again takes the prize!
Joey and Tristan quickly runs up and grabs the huge box of Doritos, then takes off running as Marik and Odion chase them down
Marik: YOU STUPID BLONDE BITCH! YOU WANNA TALK VULGAR ABOUT MY SISTER? FUCK YOU!
Everyone else stared at amazement. Jeff slapped his forehead and grabbed a walkie talkie out of his back pocket.
Jeff: (groaning) Someone fuckin call security!
(CAMERA TIME)
Marik Ishtar : Gazonga Tribe
Marik: Forget Yugi! That bitch Joey Wheeler is gonna pay! Disrespectin my family like that is a one-way trip to the Shadow Realm! Never mind, its cool. Ill just have to bone HIS sister! Then we'll see who has the last laugh! Laughing
Immunity Challenge, baby!
Location : Beach : 6:10pm
Both Tribes are once again gathered as Jeff stands before them with an envelop.
Jeff: Ok Survivors… today's Immunity Challenge is gonna be different. It seems you guys have done a good job entertaining the world!
The tribes hooted and hollered.
Jeff: CBS studios recently had an idea board on their website, where fans would mail in what they want to see as the next Immunity Challenge, so we pulled this print out at random. It comes from Jake Thompson in Des Moines, Iowa. He writes…
"The survivors should have to guess how big Mai's jugs are."
Mai: WHAT THE FUCK?
Jeff: Um… ok, you heard the letter… the first person to guess how big Mai's… rack… is, their tribe wins the Immunity. Survivors ready…
Mai: Wait, don't I get a say in this!
Jeff: No. GO!
Yami Yugi: 36c?
Tristan: Hell no, those are Ds!
Odion: 38d?
Joey: (crosses his arms and closes his eyes) You're ALL wrong! Mai's rack is …
Rex: 38DD!
Everyone looked at Rex, shocked.
Jeff: Mai… is that right?
Mai: … Yes it is… HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KNOW THAT, RAPTOR!
Rex: (closes his eyes and crosses his arms) What the eyes cant see, is all clear to me!
Jeff: OK, the Gazonga Tribe wins Immunity! Pootietang Tribe, meet back at the Tribal Council for a Tribal Meeting.
(CAMERA TIME)
Mai Valentine : Pootietang Tribe
Mai: I don't know how that creepy little dino-nerd knew my breast size, but they clearly won that challenge by luck! Wait, now that I think about it, I thought I saw someone going through my drawers at night, but I was too half sleep to know who It was… then when I woke up, my bras were all over the place… THAT SON OF A BITCH!
Mai storms off camera, then is stopped by 2 guards, saying she cant enter Gazonga territory
Location : Tribal Council : 9:13pm
The Pootietang tribe stands before Jeff and the voting box as they hold their torches.
Jeff: OK Pootietang, you all know the drill. Since you lost the immunity challenge, you will have to vote someone off of your team. So rather than explain, just get right to it. Yugi, if u please.
Yami Yugi walks over to the vote box and scribbles a name down, then drops it inside.
Yami Yugi: Sorry Bakura… it's the size of the boat, not the motion in the ocean. I hope you understand… wait a minute, what the fuck did I just say?
As Yami Yugi walks back to his tribe, Mai walks in, then Joey, then Tristan, then Bakura, then Mako. Jeff then takes the box and reads off the votes
Jeff: Ok, we have one for Bakura… another for Bakura… one for Tristan… and another for Bakura… and one for Joey… ok Bakura, bring me your torch.
Bakura gives his torch to Jeff, who turns around and pisses on it, then throws the burned out torch away.
Jeff: Your tribe has spoken. We thank you for surviving this long. As for the rest of you, go back to camp and rest… you have a busy day ahead of you tomorrow.
(CAMERA TIME)
Bakura Ryou
Bakura: So I got voted off… its ok I guess. I'm tired of living like an outcast anyways… now I can go back home and work on my dream… a new tabletop RPG! I mean, it'll be bigger than Dungeon Dice Monsters! But then again, that game sucks mass amount of donkey balls anyways! I've seen 3 year olds who can come up with a better game than that!
And another one bites the dust. A new challenge arises for our survivors, but what…? Find out next time on Survivor: Duelist Style!
Hope you all enjoyed… please R&R.