Hey hows it going? I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone for the nice reviews that you left me! I'm glad u have as much fun reading them as I do writing… er, typing them. Well I got all my work done, and my baseball game was cancelled today cuz the other school is having problems getting here… (bastards are just scared… and quite frankly, I don't blame them!) (laughing) so here we go with episode, or chappie 6! Hope you enjoy! Lets do it to it!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Survivor, nor any of the songs I'm using in this fan fic. They all have very caring owners that they belong to!
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Tonight's presentation of Survivor: Duelist Style! Is brought to you by… Anubis Mini-Markets!
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End
Joey, Tristan, and Mai are sitting in front of the tiny, ghetto black and white tv, each eating a bag of Doritos.
Joey: Check that out! Were getting so big that we actually have a sponcer now!
Tristan: Yeah… but what the hell did he mean by read? Is that susposed to be for Braille or the deaf who reads closed captioning?
Joey: Maybe he means that this is actually some story posted on one of those fan fiction sites for other people to read… (laughing)
Mai: Please Joey, that would be fuckin' stupid! Who in there right mind would write a story about US of all people crossed over with a boring ass reality tv show?
Tristan: Someone not in his right mind, that's for damn sure… as a matter of fact, it sounds like a 17 year old school boy from California who also plays softball and is a shortstop might have written something like that!
Joey: (balls up his empty bag of chips and pulls out another one) Man, just don't let ME catch him in a dark alley… writing some bullshit like that! (cracks his knuckles)
Mai: (looks at her watch) Holy shit! Come on, its time to start the show!
The three of them throw down their chips and takes off running.
Joey: Jeff said there's gonna be something big today! I cant wait to see what it is!
10 duelists are left and another one will soon be docked out…. But who will it be? Find out today on:
Survivor: Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Duelist Style!
Location: Middle of the Island : 1:00pm
Jeff Probst has gathered the Pootietang Tribe and the Gazonga Tribe to deliver a special messege.
Jeff: OK everyone, you'll be happy to know that Survivor is now the top rated reality show on prime time tv!
Everyone cheers
Jeff: I have no idea how you did it… maybe it's the fact that you're all Duelists… maybe it's the fact that you all cuss every other sentence…
Yami Yugi: Or maybe it's the fact that Kaiba is a crybaby bitch!
Kaiba: Or It could be the fact that you're a butt pirate!
Jeff: HEY! HEY! Not now! Anyways, in order to keep the ratings up, we decided to do something special for tonight's show.
Tristan: Something like what?
Jeff points behind him, where there are CBS maintenance working on what looks like a stage, and logs for seating.
Marik: What the hizzle?
Jeff: Tonight's Immunity Challenge is going to be so big, we wont have time to have a Rewards Challenge!
Rex: No Rewards Challenge, huh? This must be pretty damn big… so what is it, are we gonna put on a fuckin talent show or something?
Jeff: Close, Jurassic ass…
Jeff points upwards to see three transport copters landing on another part of Destiny Island. The doors open and waves and waves of fan girls pour out. Rex grows weak in the knees and grabs Marik's shirt.
Rex: (really fast) OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! LOOK AT ALL THOSE GIRLS!
Each of the girls are shouting and waving to the Duelists
Rex: Jeff… I love you in the most NONSEXUAL way possible!
Joey: Tristan! Check out the ass on that brunette over there coming off the plane!
Tristan: Forget her! Look at the titties on that blonde over there!
Marik: Please… please… PLEASE tell me that the Immunity Challenge is a large group orgy!
Odion: Um, Master… that would be more like a Rewards Challenge…
Marik: Shut up Odion… your fucking up my fantasy…
Jeff: Ok boys, calm yourselves down… to keep Survivor looking fresh, we put an add on the CBS website.. to all the young ladies ages 14 to 18, if they wanted to be on a live showing of Survivor for the newest Immunity Challenge… and that challenge is you, the Duelist, will have to entertain these young ladies… on that stage over there…
Mokuba: No problem! All I have to do is do my tumbling act and…
Jeff: No Mokuba… with your singing skills!
The Duelists were dead silent for a good minute. Finally, Rex, being Rex of course, broke the silence…
Rex: I don't have a problem with singing, but seriously, I'm with Marik's idea of having a giant orgy!
Marik: Hells yeah!
Rex and Marik slaps five
Jeff: No orgies! We're you two not listening… a majority of these girls are MINORS!
Rex: Hey, these are international waters, Probst… what happens on this Island STAYS on this island!
Marik: (drops to his knees) OH TESTIFY!
Jeff: (shocked look on his face) You two are a couple of sick, sick fucks! I just want you both to know that
Mai: Rex, you're a fuckin pervert! Don't think your getting your T-Rex lookin ass off this island without my foot being broken off in it!
Rex: Hey! Don't be mad at me just cuz I got your boob size right!
Joey and Tristan and Mako hold Mai back from charging at Rex.
Yami Yugi: The orgy wouldn't work anyways! I mean we all know that Kaiba is gay, so…
Kaiba: GO TO HELL!
Kaiba charges at Yami Yugi, but stops when he holds up his restraining order papers.
Yami Yugi: Touch me and ill have your ass hauled to Juve… and by this time tomorrow you'll be taking it in the ass!
Kaiba then had a diabolical smile on his face.
Yami Yugi: Did you hear me bitch?
Kaiba: Yes fucker… I heard you.
Yami Yugi: THEN FUCKIN GET MAD WHEN I INSULT YOU, SCARECROW!
Kaiba responded with a middle finger.
Jeff: Ok survivors, you have til 9pm tonight to have a song. You will be judged on originality, creativity, choreography, and how well you perform as a team. So we'll see you back here at 9 sharp!
And so, the tribes went back to their camp sites… Odion had to drag Rex from staring at the girls on the other side of the island. Yami Yugi was worried… had Kaiba finally learned to ignore all of his insults? Or was he planning another crazy ass stunt in an attempt to kill him? Whatever the reason, Yugi didn't have time to worry about that… a new challenge had arose as he must perform in front of millions and millions of people around the world, and in front of thousands of fan girls.
(CAMERA TIME)
Yugi Muto : Pootietang Tribe Leader
Yami Yugi: Im gettin' too old for this shit… I mean, I know I look like a 15 year old boy, and I don't have much memory of my days in ancient Egypt, but what I DO know is that I never had to do some bullshit like performing in front of a group of people… but if it's to help my team, ill gladly do it!
Location: Pootietang Tribe : 2:15pm
The Pootietang tribe had a buttload of CDs all over the floor as they decided with song they wanted to do.
Mako: I know what we can sing!
Everyone looks at him.
Mako: (singing) Yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me! Yo ho Yo ho…
Mai: (interrupting him) HOW ABOUT we sing No Doubt? We've got the right amount of people.
Joey: Hey, you DO look kinda like Gwen Stefani!
Mai: (blushing and smiling) Really Joey?
Joey: PSH! FUCK NO! (laughs like crazy)
Mai: YOU STUPID SON OF A BASTARD!
Mai dives over the CD and on top of Joey and starts whaling on him.
Mako: DAYMN!
Tristan: Anyways, I think we should do some Linkin Park
Mako: (singing) Sailing, Sailing, over the bounding bay…
Yami Yugi: They said we have to be original, right?
Tristan and Mako: Yeah…
Yami Yugi: Fuck! This is gonna be hard!
Mai: (takes a break from pounding on Joey to turn and look at Yugi) I'm telling you… No fuckin' Doubt… we'll win for sure!
Tristan: No way! That's not original at all… I bet the people watching… or "reading" probably saw that and is like, "oh, blonde girl with a group of guys… they're gonna do No Doubt!".
Joey: Tristan's… right…
Mai: Who the FUCK said you could talk! (Continues to whale on him again)
Yami Yugi: This is complete and utter bullshit! We have to find a song and have it down in a span of 8 hours? Who do these fuckin producers think we are!
Mako: Well, we are spoiled when we worked at 4Kids…
Yami Yugi: (cringes) Don't EVER mention that god-forsaken company in my presence EVER AGAIN!
Mako: Oh… sorry! (starts to drink his fruit punch)
Location: Gazonga Tribe Mansion : 2:45pm
The Gazongas were having no better luck than the Pootietang as they struggled to come up with a song to win the Immunity.
Marik: Come on guys… you KNOW you wanna do it!
Rex: Marik… you fuckin played Sublime out… just LET IT GO!
Marik: … Bitches…
Odion: I know I don't know much about today's young ladies, but we should do something that caters to them.
Kaiba: Odion is right… and I know just how to do it.
The Gazonga Tribe all looked at Kaiba with anticipation. Kaiba cocked his eyebrow.
Kaiba: what the hell are you all lookin at?
Rex: Come on Kaiba, were your team! Let us in on the secret.
Kaiba: Raptor, what the FUCK are you talking about?
Mokuba: Rex means whats your big plan to kill Yugi this week?
Kaiba: (closes his eyes and crosses his arms) hmph! I've got better things to do right now than worry about that star-headed jackass. Like us winning this challenge! Now, I know JUST what were going to do… follow me.
Everyone looked at one another, then got up and followed Kaiba to one of the rooms, then the doors slammed shut on the cameras. The scene shifts into the trailor of Jeff Probst. Jeff is on the phone talking to one of the heads at CBS.
Jeff: Yeah, this whole American Idol spoof was a great idea sir! I mean, the Duelists are probably shittin bricks right now back at their camp sites, but our ratings are gonna go beyond the heavens!
Yami Yugi, Joey, and Tristan enters the trailor.
Jeff: Sir, ill have to call you back. A couple of the Pootietang members just walked in…. ok….. yeah… buh-bye (he hangs up the phone) Whats up boys? What can I do for you.
Joey: we've got a little problem…
Yami Yugi: Its Mai. She doesn't want to go on.
Tristan: She's being a stuck up bitch because we wont fuckin perform No Doubt.
Jeff: Not a problem. We'll get you someone to perform in Mai's place.
Yugi, Joey, and Tristan all shot huge grins on their faces.
Joey: THAT'S what we wanted to talk to you about!
Tristan: Yugi has someone in mind, but we need your ok on it.
Jeff: alright… who is he?
Yami walks over and whispers in Jeff's ear.
Jeff: ARE YOU FUCKIN SERIOUS!
All 3 of them nods their heads.
Jeff: Yugi… you know that…
Yami Yugi: (Interrupting him) Jeff, I am FULLY aware of a certain bowl-headed bastard getting pissed off.
Jeff: ok… then its settled.
Yami, Joey, and Tristan: Thanks Jeff!
They all leave the trailor, giggling to themselves.
Jeff: Psh… Yugi just DOESN'T know when to quit…
Immunity Challenge! A Gala Event!
Location: Middle of the Island : 9:00pm
And so, the time approached as the fan girls were all seated at the stage, cheering and screaming loudly. There were searchlights all around. Jeff entered the stage as the fan girls went crazy.
Jeff: To all the lovely ladies in the audience, and all our wonderful viewers watching at home, and lets not forget those that are "reading" us, welcome to the Immunity Challenge! As you know, The Duelists will momentarily be on stage, giving you the performance of a lifetime!
(The rants and raves from the girls grew louder and louder as they chanted for Yugi, then Kaiba, then Joey, then Mako… basically everyone but Mai.)
Jeff: Is Everybody ready?
(Cheers got louder and louder)
Jeff: alright then! Ladies and Gentlemen, Led by Seto Kaiba, we have Rex Raptor, Mokuba Kaiba, Marik Ishtar, and Odion… GIVE IT UP FOR THE GAZONGA TRIBE!
Each member of the Gazonga tribe were all dressed trendy. They each wore the same thing… gray slacks, white and black tennis shoes, a shirt with a vest, and a trendy hat. The girls went crazy. Some fainted at the sight of Kaiba. Rex could barely keep his cool.
Rex: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! Marik, I cant take it any longer! IM GOING IN!
Marik: Whoa, whoa, whoa there tiger! Just remember after we win the Immunity, there's gotta be groupies backstage waiting for us!
Rex: … Groupies?
Marik nods his head.
Rex: I've waited for this for so long… IM GONNA GET LAID!
Jeff: Now ladies and Gentlemen… led by Yugi Muto, we have Joey Wheeler, Tristan Taylor, Mako Tsunami, and, because Mai Valentine suddenly got a fever, replacing her will be… none other than… NOAH KAIBA!
Kaiba: WHAT THE HELL? WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE SHIT? WHAT THE DAMN!
The Pootietang tribe each came out, not wearing the same thing, but each member were dressed in hip-hop wear. Yami Yugi sporting Ecko, Joey was sporting Vokal, Tristan was sporting Roca Wear, Mako was sporting Enyce, and Noah was sporting Sean Paul. The girls went even crazier for Yugi and his team than they did for Kaiba's team. Girls even tried to rush the stage, but was stopped by Security.
Kaiba: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS LITTLE UNGRATEFUL PISSANT DOING HERE!
Noah: Hi Seto! I've missed you so much! How come you never email me or anything? That's fucked up, man!
Kaiba: ONLY THING THAT'S GETTING FUCKED UP AROUND HERE IS YOU AND THAT BITCH STANDING NEXT TO YOU!
Noah: (laughing) Wow Yugi! You were right! Seto IS pissed!
Yugi: I told you, didn't I? (laughing)
Jeff: Ok, Gazongas, your first! Remember that you will be judged on originality, creativity, choreography, and how well you perform as a team! SO GIVE THESE PEOPLE ONE HELL OF A SHOW!
Kaiba: (to his team) You heard the man, boys. Lets rock this bitch!
Gazonga Tribe: YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHH BABY!
The Gazonga Tribe lines up side by side as the music as music suddenly plays. The Gazonga Tribe began to dance as if they were mirror images of each other.
(Sing to the tune of New Kids on the Block's "The Right Stuff" please don't hate me for this… by they way, they are all singing this, so I don't need to note that they are.)
Kaiba:
First time was a great time
Rex: Second time was a blast
Marik:
Third time I fell in love, now I hope it lasts
Mokuba:
I can see it in your walk, tell it when you talk
Odion: See it in everything you do, even in your thoughts
Kaiba:
You got the right stuff, baby, love the way you turn me on
Rex: You got the right stuff, baby, your the reason why I sing this song
(The fan girls are screaming like crazy. A group of girls faints as Rex winks at them.)
Kaiba:
All that I needed was you…
Gazonga
Tribe: Oh girl your so right…
Kaiba:
And all that i wanted was you…
Gazonga
Tribe: It made all my (dreams come true)
Oh
oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh
THE RIGHT STUFF!
Oh
oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh
THE RIGHT STUFF!
Kaiba:
Your first kiss was a sweet kiss
Rex:
Second kiss had a twist
Marik:
Third and your fourth kiss, I don't want to miss
Mokuba:
I can see it in your walk, tell it when you talk
Odion:
See it in everything you do, even in your thoughts
Kaiba:
You got the right stuff, baby, love the way you turn me on
Rex: You got the right stuff, baby, your the reason why I sing this song
Kaiba:
All that I needed was you…
Gazonga
Tribe: Oh girl your so right…
Kaiba:
And all that i wanted was you…
Gazonga
Tribe: It made all my (dreams come true)
Oh
oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh
THE RIGHT STUFF!
Oh
oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh
THE RIGHT STUFF
SONG ENDS
The Crowd goes crazy as the Gazonga Tribe ends with a suave pose… Rex, Mokuba, and Marik are down on one knee pointed towards a random girl on the left, front, and right of them, while Kaiba and Odion are pointing straight forward. Jeff ran on stage.
Jeff: Ladies, give it up for the Gazonga Tribe!
The crowd continues to cheer like crazy, chanting each member of the Gazonga Tribe's names
Yami Yugi: (from back stage) I told you all Kaiba was gay… what straight guy uses a BOY BAND for a gimmick?
Tristan: … dude… did they just fuckin sing New Kids on the Block?
Joey: I'm not even going to respond to that… the Gay-dar is going through the roof right now.
Mako: (singing) Oh oh oh oh oh! Oh oh oh oh! Oh oh oh oh oh! THE RIGHT STUFF! I don't know, I kinda enjoyed it!
Everyone gives Mako a shocked look.
Mako: Just kidding…
Noah: Um, anyways, its our turn next… im kinda nervous… no matter how gay that was, it was still pretty good.
Joey: Don't sweat it, kiddo! If the girls loved that garbage, they're gonna get swept off their feet to OUR routine!
Noah: I hope your right, Joey…
Back on stage…
Jeff: That's gonna be a tough act to follow! Alright ladies and gentlemen, give it up for THE POOTIETANG TRIBE!
The stands blow up as Yugi and his team enters the stage and the Gazonga tribe walks off. Jeff turns to Yugi and his friends.
Jeff: Ok guys, im sure I don't have to repeat the rules to you, so give these girls something to shake what their mamas gave em!
Pootietang Tribe: RIGHT ON, JEFF!
Jeff: Survivors ready?
Jeff walks off stage and past the Gazonga tribe.
Jeff: Hey, where did Seto go?
Rex: What the piss! He was here just a second ago?
The music begins to play as the Pootietang Tribe lines up side by side, but instead of dancing in sync, they each started to break dance. Each time Yugi made a dance move, something hit the floor next to his feet. Yugi was so into the music, he didn't even notice it. Each move he made, another hole in the stage appeared.
(Another singing scene everybody! This one you wanna sing to the turn of the D12/Eminem song, My Band… and yeah, the Pootietang tribe is singing.)
Yami
Yugi: (talking) I don't know dude. I think everybody
is all jealous and shit
cause I'm like the lead singer of the band
dude.
And I think, everybody's got a fuckin' problem with me
dude,
and they need to take it up with me after the show.
Because. . .
(singing)
(this is the chorus)
These chicks don't even know the name of
my band,
But they're all on me like they want to hold
hands,
'Cause once I blow they'll know that I'll be the man,
all
because I'm the lead duelist of my band.
Yami
Yugi: So I get offstage right? I drop the mic,
Walk up to
these hot chicks then I'm all like,
"Sup, ladies, my name's
Yugi Muto,
I'm the main character in Yu-Gi-Oh, you know?"
They're all like
"Oh my god it's him, Becky oh my fucking god
it's really him!"
"I swear to fucking God dude, you
fucking rock,
Please Yugi please let me suck your cock"
Now
right now, the rest of the fellas get jealous,
Specially when I
drop the beat and play my Dark Magician!
All the chicks start
yelling, all the hot babes
throw their bras and their shirts and
their panties onstage,
So like every single night them people
fight with me,
But when we fight it's kind a like sibling
rivalry,
Cause their back on stage the next night with me,.
Dude,
I just think you're trying to steal the light from me.
Yesterday
Joey tried to pull a knife on me,
Cause I told him Mai Valentine's
my wife-to-be.
This duelist shit's the life for me,
and all the
other guys just despise me because. . .
Chorus
My
band! (8x)
My Bbbbbbbaaaaaaannnnnnnddddddd!
Baby yeah!
Noah:
You just want to see a duelist backwards don't you?
Ain't
that? How come we don't duel off pro school?
Smash these vocals
and do a performance,
but we in a van, and he on a tour bus.
You
don't want my autograph, you'se a liar,
and naw, I'm Noah, "Oh,
I thought you were Seto."
And what the hell is wrong with our
dressing room?
Cause our shit is looking smaller than a
decimal.
See, I know how to rap, it's simple but,
all I did was
read a Russell Simmons book.
So I'm more intact, trying to get on
the map,
doing jumping jacks while getting whipped on my back
Joey:
Look at Yuge little punk ass, thinking he the shit
Tristan:
Yeah I know man, by himself takin' all the flicks.
Joey:
Hey, I thought we had and interview with DJ Shortstop Clue?
Yami
Yugi: No I had an interview, not you two.
Tristan:
You gon' be late for soundcheck
Joey:
Man, I ain't going to soundcheck
Tristan:
Man, our duel disk is screwed up,
Joey: And his always work best! You know what man? I'm a say something! Ay'yo Yuge!
Yami
Yugi: You got something to say!
Joey: Man, no.
Tristan:
I though you was about tell him off man, wassup?
Joey:
Man, I'm a tell him when I feel like it man, shut up! You
ain't even back me up, and we supposed to be crew!
Tristan:
Man I was about to talk right after you, I swear
Joey:
Man whatever!
Tristan: I swear man!
Chorus
Mako:
God damn it, I'm sick of this show,
Time for me to go solo
and make some loot.
I told you I made the beats, and wrote all the
raps,
Till Espa Roba, slipped me some crack.
Duelist Kingdom
Tournament? I was in the back.
Battle City Tournament? I was in
the back.
For the media, I got some suggestions,
Fuck Yugi, ask
us some questions.
Like "Who's Mako Tsunami?", "How
he get started?"
(in
a high pitch voice) But what about Yugi Muto?
Bitch
are you retarded?
Anyway, I'm the poverished guy on the show.
Big
ass stomach, bitches think I'm cute.
Shortstop told me to do
sit-ups to get buff,
Did 2 and a half, then couldn't get up.
Fuck
Yu-Gi-Oh, I'm off of this show,
I'm gonna start a group with the
Real Roxanne.
(Music Changes):
Yami Yugi: Girl why can't you see your
the only one for me and it just
tears my ass apart to know that
you don't know my shooooooooow!
Joey: Man, fuck this! LETS GET DOWN
(The boys break dances again)
Yami
Yugi: I'm the leader of my band.
I get all the girls to
take off their underpants.
I'm the lead singer of my band.
My
salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance.
My salsa. Look out
for my next single, it's called my salsa.
My salsa, seltzer,
salsa, salsa.
My salsa makes all the pretty girls want to
dance
and take off their underpants.
My salsa makes all the
pretty girls want to dance
and take off their underpants. My
salsa.
Where'd everybody go?
End of song!
The crowd went crazy as the song ended and each member of the Pootietang Tribe all posed side by side next to each other again, but they stole the Gazonga Tribe's Point. As the Cheers started to die down, Yami Yugi crouched down and took a deep breath. The minute he crouched, something whizzed passed his head.
Yami Yugi: The fuck was that?
That was when he noticed that the stage was riddled with what looked like bullet holes. The pattern was obvious as the each hole was only in an area where Yugi was standing. He dove off the stage just in time, as 10 more sets of bullets connected to the stage.
Yami Yugi: KAIBA!
High in a tree, Kaiba was dressed in camaflauged clothing and wore the camaflauged face paint. He was holding a sniper rifle and was shooting at Yugi throughout his performance!
Kaiba: Fuckin bitch! Why don't you stay still?
Kaiba looked through the scope to see that Yugi was nowhere in sight.
Kaiba: Son of a motherless bitch! Where the fuck did he go this time!
He caught a glimpse of Noah in the scope. A HUGE, evil smile shot across his face.
Kaiba: SOMEBODY IS FUCKIN EATIN LEAD TONIGHT!
Back on the stage…
Jeff: Ladies, now its time for you to pick the winner! Give it up for… the Gazonga Tribe!
The fan girls go crazy with applauds and shouts
Jeff: and now, give it up for… The Pootietang tribe!
The fan girls go crazy with applauds and shouts once again. However, a huge bullet whizzed by and caught Noah right in the head! He feel down dead. Everyone gasped.
Joey: OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED NOAH!
Tristan: YOU BASTARDS!
Jeff: Only one person could have done this… KAIBA!
Kaiba hid in the tree.
Jeff: Sorry Gazongas, but because your team captain killed a member of the opposite team… THE POOTIETANG TRIBE WINS THE IMMUNITY!
The fan girls blow up as the sounds of cheering and shouting is heard throughout Destiny Island.
Rex: OH MY GOD! THAT'S BULLSHIT!
Mokuba: Yeah, you have no proof that my brother did this!
Jeff took out a pair of tongs, then turned Noah's dead body over, and pulled the bullet out of his head. He took out a rag and wiped the blood off the bullet to reveal a Kaiba Corp. Logo on the bullet.
Mokuba: (sighing) Never mind…
Jeff turned to the crowd.
Jeff: We've prepared cabins for all of you to sleep til we fly you all home tomorrow! CBS Security will escort you all there! We hope you enjoyed the Immunity challenge! As for the Pootietang tribe, you may go back to your campsite… where Groupies are waiting for you.
With that said, Joey, Tristan, and Mako take off running toward their campsite.
Jeff: Gazonga Tribe, ill see you in an hour for a Council Meeting.
The Gazonga tribe walked off pissed off. Jeff turned to see Little Yugi standing behind him.
Jeff: Um, everything ok Yugi?
Yugi: … Kaiba's still out there… can I … sleep in your cabin tonight?
Jeff: Sure… but no sharing a bed… I'm not no Michael Jackson.
Yugi: Oh hell no! do I look like Kaiba to you? I like chicks, not dicks.
Location: Tent in the middle of the Jungle : An hour before the Tribal Council
Rex Raptor is in a tent with 5 of the thousands of fan girls that were in the crowd.
Rex: And that's my story. That little fuck-bug Weevil is always trying to steal MY glory… the only reason he even did this show was because he knew I signed up for it!
Girl #1: wow… your like, so brave for everything you've been through!
Girl #2: yeah… and I think YOUR tribe should have won that concert… not that other tribe.
Rex: Yeah, that's how its been on this island… (he wraps his arms around 2 of the girls) Its just been bullshit after bullshit after bullshit after bullshit.
Girl # 3: Well tonight, we're going to take all that pain away from you!
Rex is now sweating bullets
Rex: (thinking) this is it… this is it… this is fuckin IT! All the bullshit I've gone through in life has ALL lead up to this moment!
Girl #4: but, don't you have to go to your tribal council?
Rex: That's not for another hour… I mean… 3 hours!
Girl #5: Good enough for me. Lets do it!
Rex: (thinking) YEEEEEEEAAAHH BABY!
Just as Rex was a split second away from engaging in a 6-way kiss, Mokuba busts in the tent!
Mokuba: Daddy!
He rushes up and dives on Rex, hugging him
Rex: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
Fan Girls: DADDY?
Rex: Do not listen to him! I am NOT this kid's father! I wouldn't want anything to do with this little piece of shit! I don't know him, I've never met him, hell, I've never even SEEN this kid until now! HE DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE ME FOR CRYIN OUT LOUD!
Girl #2: Wasn't he on stage with you?
Mokuba: Daddy… please don't deny me again… I'm sorry I wasn't born a girl so you could have incest with me!
Rex: (in a bitter voice) Mokuba, I am going to STRANGLE you! GET… OUT…!
Mokuba: Please don't cheat on mommy again! She already tried to cut herself the last time you did that… and the time before that… and the time before that!
Girl #1: Rex Raptor, what kind of human being are you?
Rex: Baby! Baby! You have got to believe me! This kid is lying out of his ass!
Mokuba: (with fake tears in his eyes) Daddy… I knew you would try to deny it again, so I brought our family pictures… maybe you'll come around…
Mokuba shows the girls pictures that were made from a picture program on a computer. They looked like real portraits. The first picture is of Rex, Mokuba, and Ishizu Ishtar taking a Sunday photo (everyone is all dressed up). The next is of Rex and Mokuba playing catch. The next is of Rex and Ishizu taking a wedding picture (Rex is in a tuxedo and Ishizu is in a wedding dress) with a messege on the back that says, "Ill always love you, my sweet Rexy-pie… Ishizu", and the final one is of Rex and Ishizu dropping Mokuba off at school.
Fan Girls: (looking at the pictures) Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww…
Girl #5: Rex Raptor, you are the biggest jerk on the face of the earth!
Girl #3: I hope you get hit by a car and die and satin sticks a pitch fork in your eye!
Rex: THIS IS BLASPHEMY! HOW IN THE BLUE FUCK DID YOU GET THESE PICTURES! (to the fan girls) THEY ARENT REAL! IVE NEVER EVEN MET THIS WOMAN BEFORE!
Girl #4: I wouldn't fuck you if u were the last cock on earth!
Each of the fan girls started to pummel Rex, then they angrily left the tent.
Girl #1: Come on girls! Lets sneak into the Pootietang Tribe! That whole rap performance was HOT!
Girl #3: Totally!
Inside the Tent, Mokuba laughs like crazy.
Mokuba: (laughs) Come on Rex! Seto was looking for you! We have need to team up and vote off either Marik or Odion… just the 3 of us!
Rex: (fighting back tears of anger) YOU LITTLE BLOODY TAMPON! ILL KILL YOU!
Both of them rushes out of the tent at break-neck speeds. Mokuba dashes past the fan girls, followed by Rex in hot pursuit.
Girl #4: Yeah, make up for lost times all you want, Rex! There's NO WAY were going to fuck you still!
Mokuba: COME ON REX! IT WAS FUNNY! YOU KNOW IT WAS TOO! (laughs like crazy)
Rex: WHEN I CATCH YOU THE ONLY FUNNY SITE AROUND HERE IS GONNA BE YOUR BLOODY BODY TURNED INSIDE OUT!
Location : Tribal Council : 11:30pm
The Gazonga Tribe stands before Jeff Probst awaiting the chance to vote. Mokuba is standing next to Kaiba. He waves at Rex, who retailiates by flipping up his middle finger.
Jeff: Ok Gazongas, since you lost the Immunity Challenge, thanks to a certain trigger-happy leader, you must now decide who you want voted off your tribe. But before we start, Rex, you do know that 4Kids Entertainment really is behind the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, right?
Rex: Yep. Sure do.
Jeff: And do you have something you want to say to 4Kids?
Rex: Yes I do. FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID CHILDISH BASTARDS! HOW CAN YOU TURN A PERFECTLY GOOD SHOW THAT RULED THE 80S AND EARLY 90S INTO A CROCK OF BULLSHIT! AND HOW CAN YOU CHANGE MY NAME TO THIS! YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST CALLED ME RYUZAKI RAPTOR OR SOMETHING! BITCHES! I HOPE YOU ALL GO BANKRUPT THEN ROT IN HELL! OK, im done.
Jeff: RIGHT ON! And with that said, Let the voting begin. Seto, if you please?
Kaiba walks up to the box and scribbles a name down.
Kaiba: Odion, your big, intimidating ass has GOT to go!
Kaiba returns as Rex walks up to the vote box.
Rex: Mokuba, you little shit! You wanna ruin my chance to get laid! FUCK YOU!
Rex returns as Marik goes up, then Mokuba, then Odion. Jeff takes the votes and tallies them.
Jeff: Ok, lets see here… we have one vote for Odion… one for "Mokuba's bitch ass", one for Odion, another for Odion, and the final… for Odion! Alright Odion, bring me your torch.
Odion hands Jeff his torch, who douses it and turns back to him.
Jeff: Odion, your Tribe has spoken. You have been voted off. We thank you for staying this long. Take care, buddy! As for the rest of you, You may go back to camp.
(CAMERA TIME)
Odion: Hell yeah I voted myself off. If I have to spend ONE more day babysitting that little bastard Mokuba, ill go crazy. And besides, ill be DAMNED if I ever sing again! Now, I'm taking the first boat off this god-forsaken Island! PEACE!
Were at the halfway point as another duelist is voted off Destiny Island. Pootietang Tribe is up by one, but as we all know, tomorrow is another day! What other kind of crazy challenge or adventure lies in store for our duelists? Find out next time on:
Survivor! Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Duelist Style!
Ok everybody! I hope you enjoyed the performance! Please R&R. I know you guys are gonna be harsh about the New Kids on the Block thing, but you KNOW it was funny! Lets thank Sakurachan209 for giving me the lyrics to "The Right Stuff"!