Where You Lead

Chapter - Somebody Help Me

A/N: Thanks for R and R-ing! And thanks Mirjam and Chev! You guys rock!

Disclaimer: Thanks ASP and Full Blown Rose!

(Can somebody help me)

I'm being haunted by a whisper

A chill comes over me

I'm being trapped inside this moment

Now, vacant tone, I'm not a freak

Free me, before I slip away

Heal me, wake me from this day

Can somebody help me?

I've seen the face of my addiction, of my reality

I'm being tortured by the future

Of things that yet to be

I'm being haunted by a vision

It's like the morning never comes

I feel the brain of confusion

Always searching, on the run

Free me, before I slip away

Heal me, wake me from this day

Can somebody help me?

Jess woke abruptly to someone banging madly on the front door. The fact that Jess had just been woken from the first decent sleep he'd had in months, coupled with the incessant pounding was grating on Jess's nerves.

"MARIANO!! I know you're in there!" Yelled the apparently mad, woman in a thick New York accent.

Go away! He's not here. Whatever he did, you can beat him up about it later.

"JESS! I swear if you don't open this door right now…" She yelled more.

Jess, rolled onto his side. So the angry chick banging down the door wasn't one of Jimmy's floozy's. However, Jess had no friends in California… Besides a few druggies, but he was fairly sure if he opened the door, he'd receive a gun in the face or a free fix, compliments of Sticky trying to win back Jess's service. And Jess may have been somewhat stupid, but that just wasn't a path he was willing to walk down again. The banging was less erratic now. It was now more a constant pounding. You swear what? If you don't go away, I swear I will shoot you. I don't care who you are! As if reading Jess's mind, whoever it was stopped with the banging. Obviously tired of waiting for the door to open, they decided to leave and hopefully never come back. Closing his eyes, Jess let his mind go blank, allowing him to drift off into a light sleep. However the silent bliss was short lived, due to the fact that the woman had made her way around the house and was now tapping on Jess's window. Throwing the blankets off him, Jess got up. He stormed to the front door, opened it and started yelling.

"YOU SO BETTER BE SOME LITTLE GIRL SELLING COOKIES, COZ IF YOU'RE NOT, I SWEAR TO GOD…" He was interrupted by an attractive young woman the same age as Jess.

"You're gonna what?" She challenged.

"Amber… Hey."

"Hey? That's it? I, your best friend goes away for four years and all I get is a 'Hey'? Get over here!" She demanded.

Jess walked to where Amber was standing and wrapped his arms around her waist. In return she threw her arms around his neck. Boy, had he missed this. Amber had been the only person in Jess's life that had been able to make him talk. Anything she wanted to know, he would tell her. Mostly because she could probably kick his ass to Mars and back if he didn't, but also because he didn't feel as stupid talking to her. They'd been buddies since elementary school and she knew when he had something on his mind. Not telling her just wasn't an option. Banging on doors wasn't the only thing she was incessant at. Pulling away, Amber took a good, long look at her friend.

"Man, you look like death on legs. So… You gonna invite me in, or what?" Jess picked up the only bag she had brought and took it inside. Obviously not needing verbal invitation Amber followed.

Jess didn't bother with the illusion of cleanliness. What was the point of trying to hide how you lived? It only meant he was going to have to keep the place tidy all the time and he had more important stuff to worry about, than what Amber would think if she saw all the coffee cups and empty take-out packaging that was strewn across the living room.

"So?" Amber started a sentence that she was quite probably going to have to finish herself.

"So…." Jess said back.

"C'mon Jess. You can't just sit there and hope that I'm not gonna ask what's going on. I came all this way, now I want some answers." She told him forcefully.

"Yea… About that. You moved to England. Why are you back?"

"Jess Mariano! If you don't give me some information soon, I'm going to walk out that door and I'm never coming back!" But Jess knew better. Amber cared too much to leave without an explanation. That and she was way too damn nosy. If there was something she wanted to know, she wasn't going anywhere until she found out what it was. Jess just sat there staring at his best friend, knowing that she would crack soon.

"Fine. I originally came back on holiday. I went to a few of our old haunts in New York and word on the grapevine is that you moved to Connecticut. So I went there. Then this old guy claiming to be your uncle told me you'd come here. So here I am. Your turn." Amber explained.

"Whadya wanna know?"

"Everything! Why you moved to Connecticut. Why you left Connecticut. Why you chose California to leave to. What's been happening in the last four years. Just the basics you know!" Amber was starting to get pissed off at the whole Jess evasiveness.

"Can we talk about this later? Do you want food?" Jess asked getting up.

"Sit your ass back down Mariano." Jess knew he wasn't going to get off that easy, but he had nothing to lose by trying. He returned to his seat. "Now talk." Amber ordered.

"Mom shipped me off to Stars Hollow to live my uncle, the old guy you talked to. Apparently she couldn't handle me anymore."

"Okay… One answer down, keep talking." She prodded.

"What? That's it… There's nothing else. I came here. Jimmy kicked me out. I became a junkie. I got clean. I moved back to Jimmy's. I see a therapist. Period."

"And Jimmy would be…"

"My dad."

"Oh… wow.. That's… Is that good?" Amber was at risk of being overwhelmed at this sudden rush of information.

"It's okay. It was weird at first, but it's okay now."

"Okay… Info absorbed. Now the junkie part." She told him, folding her arms.

"I don't really wanna go into detail. It's not a fun memory. It's exactly like all the cop shows and movies… Except worse. Are we done now?" Jess was tired of the interrogating. For a while he had been glad to see Amber. That was until he remembered her need for details.

"Just about. But I wanna know about the coffee girl."

"Coffee girl? What?" Jess wasn't in the mood for riddles.

"The girl in your uncles diner. He introduced me to her, but I forget her name. She was all smiling and friendly until your uncle told her I was a friend of yours. Then her face fell and she made some excuse to leave. She couldn't have got outta there faster if she had fire right up her ass." Jess sighed and looked away.

"Rory." He whispered. He was saying it to himself more than anyone else.

"What?"

"Uh, nothin'. I was talking to myself."

"No you weren't. You said Rory. That's coffee girl. C'mon. I'm gonna find out sooner or later. Or I could just as easily call and ask her." Jess knew she would too, if that's what it took. After pondering it for a minute, it didn't seem like a half bad idea.

"Good idea. Maybe you could tell her sorry from me, while you're having your heart to heart." Jess replied seriously.

"You, Mariano are never sorry about anything. You musta done something pretty awful to this girl to be saying sorry." Amber assumed. Without warning Jess started the story of his Stars Hollow experience.

"Rory Gilmore is my ex-girlfriend. When I got to Stars Hollow she was dating this square. I wanted her, so I fought for her, literally. The whole town hated me for corrupting their perfect little princess. Rory and I had a disagreement at some lame party. Rory left the room crying, I followed, the square and I got into a fight, which then led to Rory not speaking to me. Jimmy came to town, then left. With Rory still not talking to me, I skipped town. That's it. That's all there is." Jess ran his fingers through his unruly hair. Talking about Rory made him want to seek out Sticky and get really wasted. That was the only way to get the terrible feeling in his gut to cease.

"You left without saying goodbye. That is such a you thing to do. It explains a lot though." Without waiting for Jess to question her last remark, she continued. "I walked to the bus stop and just about every person in town looked at me as if I were the scum on the bottom of their shoe… Did you sleep with her?"

"Amber!"

"No, Jess. It's a valid question. Have you ever met a girl you didn't sleep with?" Judging by Jess's lack of reply, Amber came to her own conclusion. "Just Rory. You love her don't you?" She asked accusingly.

"Ah jeez, no. It's been two years."

"And what? I don't care what anybody says, time does not heal all wounds."