For the person who sent me that email about wanting me to make a Fanfiction about the Dragon Ball Z/Final Fantasy fight, I'll do it, but… I can't until I play Final Fantasy X-2… I admit it… I haven't played that one. And I must have ALL the facts straight because I don't do half assed stories. In the meantime, here's Episode 9! Enjoy everyone! PS: I know its not Christmas now, but remember, its just a story.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Survivor, nor anything else I'm using… Just Bernadette… SHES FICTIONAL!
The Holiday season has arrived on Destiny Island as the once hot, tropical, exotic weather became cold, windy, and snowy. Nothing that the CBS crew couldn't handle though. In the Mansion of the Pootiezonga Tribe, the heater was on full blast as the whole house felt like a sauna. Seto Kaiba woke up, still a bit tired, but trying to get his memories together, thanks to the assault from Joey from the last Immunity Challenge.
"Ok… I was susposed to kill someone today… oh yeah… YUGI! No, wait… it was someone else… aww, fuck it. Yugi's always first on my hit list…"
Kaiba looked up from his bed to see Yami Yugi standing in the doorway, staring at him. Yami of course, had his smirk on his face. "What are you doing, Kaiba?" Kaiba looked Yami Yugi up and down, then looked back at him. "Fuckin' starin' at your bitch ass!"
Yami Yugi made a false shocked look, then put on his game face. "Better watch that tone with me, Seto."
"What the piss are you gonna do if I don't!"
Yami Yugi put on his smirk once again. "I'll beat that ass. You know the routine."
Kaiba yawned, then stretched. "I should fuck you up right here and now. But your lucky I gotta piss like a race horse."
"I gotta piss too."
Yami Yugi and Kaiba looked at each other, then looked at Kaiba's bathroom across the room. Then, without warning, they both took off running towards the bathroom. Kaiba thought smart this time. He let Yami Yugi get ahead of him, then grabbed a fist-full of his hair and pulled him down to the ground. Yami Yugi went down with a hard thud. Kaiba jumped over Yami and slammed and locked the door.
"I DID IT! I BEAT YUGI!" Kaiba shouted from the bathroom.
Yami Yugi wasn't sore at all. Instead, he got up, and left the room. He returned ten minutes later with a lock picking kit.
Kaiba was taking a hot shower. The whole bathroom was misty due to all the steam. Kaiba turned the water off long enough to wash up. As the water went off, Kaiba heard the picking at the door.
"Is he doing what I think he's doing!" Kaiba thought.
Suddenly, the door was heard quietly opening, then closed, then locked.
"I KNEW YOU WERE FUCKIN GAY! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, YUGI!"
The door suddenly flew open as Bernadette stood there, NAKED, facing Kaiba! "We can get dress quicker if we shower TOGETHER, Kaiba-baby!" she said.
Yugi stood in the hallway with a HUGE shit-eating grin on his face. Joey walked down the hall to greet his best friend. "What did you do this time!" Joey said with a smile on his face.
"5…4…3…2…1…"
Yami Yugi pointed toward's Kaiba's room. The exact minute he pointed, Kaiba could be heard screaming at the top of his lungs in a very high pitched voice! Both Yami and Joey feel to the floor laughing!
7 Duelists…
Yugi Muto… Joey Wheeler… Seto Kaiba… Rex Raptor… Mai Valentine… Mako Tsunami… Marik Ishtar…
2 Prizes…
3 Million Dollars…. Treasure Chest full of rare cards…
WHO WILL BE THE WINNER! FIND OUT WHO GET'S THE BOOT NEXT ON…
Survivor! Outwit, Outplay, Outlast! Duelist Style!
It was a cold, windy day on Destiny Island as Christmas Eve rolled around. So cold that CBS just used the cameras that were already planted inside the Pootiezonga Mansion so they wouldn't have to freeze their asses off going outside. Inside the Mansion, everybody was sitting on the couch with the couch with the heater blaring as usual… all except Kaiba, who was sitting at the kitchen table, plotting on how he was going to get Yugi for the whole bathroom incident.
"What's wrong, Kaiba! Don't tell me your mad at me because I got you some shower play!" Yami shouted from the living room. Nothing. "Come on, Kaiba, you know you like your with a few extra rolls!" Yami shouted again. Still nothing. About 3 minutes later, Kaiba ran out with a huge knife, right at Yami! Yami got up and jumped over Rex and Joey, who were laid out on the floor, and ran through the house, with Kaiba chasing him down. Mako looked back at them. "Uhh…" Rex shook his head. "I am SO glad that wasn't me in that shower or I would have cut Yugi's head off and had a hobo shit down his throat."
"So, what the hell are we watching, Joey?" Mai asked. Joey looked back at her. "ONLY THE GREATEST CHRISTMAS SPECIAL EVER TO AIR ON TV! I WATCH THIS BITCH EVERY YEAR!"
Joey responded. "It had better be good, Wheeler." Marik said, sipping some hot chocoloate.
"Trust me… AWWW YEAH! HERE IT COMES!"
Joey, Rex, Mai, Mako, and Marik zoned in on the TV.
AND NOW, FOR THE NETWORK PREMIER OF… LIL' JON SAVES CHRISTMAS!
A couple elves walk up to Lil' Jon's house and knocks on the door. Lil' Jon answers it, and notices there are elves on his doorstep.
"…WHAT!"
"Lil' Jon… you have to help us… Santa has been kidnapped by the evil Snow Vizier! He's threatening to keep Christmas all for himself!" one of the elves cried.
"And if he does that, EVERY kid on Earth will be sad when Christmas comes! And an obnoxious rapper is the only thing that the Snow Vizier is weak against… so what do you say, Lil' Jon? Will you save Christmas!" the other elf pleaded.
Lil' Jon thought for a moment. "…YEAH!"
The elves cheered. "YEAAA!"
"Come on! We'll take Santa's sleigh to get to the Snow Vizier's Ice Castle! Then…"
We interrupt Lil' Jon Saves Christmas for this important news bulletin!
Joey suddenly shot up from the couch, throwing his hot chocolate every which way. "WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE BASTARDS THINKING! OF ALL THE SHOWS THEY COULD HAVE FRIGGIN INTERRUPTED, THEY PICKED MY SHOW!" He shouted.
"Yeah, seriously! The fuckin' plot is hard enough to follow as it is!" Mako said.
"Fuckin Fox Network…" Rex complained
"Hey, shut up! This could be important!" Mai said.
A news reporter sat in a newsroom, next to a screen that said, "INFILTRATION". "This is Richard Bagwell reporting to you live from Fox Studios. An unknown group has infiltrated Industrial Illusions Inc. and is holding everyone inside hostage! Reporting live from the outside of I2, here's Cameron Miza… Cameron?"
Mai called out to Yugi and Kaiba. "HEY! BITCHES! GET IN HERE! YOU MIGHT WANNA SEE THIS!" Kaiba had Yugi on the floor, trying to jam the knife into Yami's heart, while Yami had both Kaiba's arms, trying to force the knife away from him. "This had better be good, Valentine!" Kaiba yelled out as he got off of Yami. The two of them walked back into the living room and watched the tv. Yami quickly took the knife from Kaiba when his guard was down.
"This is Cameron Miza, reporting live outside Industrial Illusions… where nothing has happened yet, but an inside source tells us that everyone is scared and the president of Industrial Illusions, Maximillion Pegasus, is nowhere to be found. Another source told us he participated on the hit show Survivor! Duelist Style, but was voted off on the very first episode… ever since then, no one has heard from him. We will continue to cover this breaking story. Back to you, Richard.
"Thanks Cameron… until we get an update on the Industrial Illusions Hostage situation, we take you back to your regularly scheduled program, already in progress."
Kaiba walked away from the living room. "Sucks to be Pegasus." He said.
"Knowing that damn Pegasus, he's probably in a gay orgy in the middle of Germany!" Rex said.
"Listen to me everyone. We have GOT to free those hostages and save Industrial Illusions!" Yami Yugi proclaimed. Everyone looked up at him. "Why? Leave that shit for the police, Yuge!" Joey said.
"I wouldn't help that girly ass man if my life depended on it!" Kaiba shouted from across the room.
Yami looked over at him. "It DOES depend on it, Kaiba… Kaiba Corporation IS your life, is it not!"
"Yeah… so what you little fuck?"
"Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't Kaiba Corporation's products revolve mostly around Duel Monsters?"
"Yes… what's your point?"
"So, if something should happen to Industrial Illusions, Kaiba Corp. would be nothing… you would have to go back to making weapons of war. THAT'S my point!"
"OH HELL NO! FUCK THAT!"
Yami Yugi turned to the other Duelists. "And that goes for us too! If something happens to the cards… we would be stuck with the same ol' shit, day in and day out… Duel Monsters would get boring, and eventually die… where would we be?"
"WE WOULD HAVE TO FUCKIN GET REAL JOBS!" Joey shouted.
Mai started to day dream…
Mai was behind a cash register at McDonalds, wearing a lavender shirt with a "M" emblem on one side and a name tag that said "MAI" on the other. She took a family's order. "You want any fries with that?" She asked them. "No thank you. Just the cheeseburgers will do." The father responded. "Hey, I've seen her before, daddy! She used to rock out on this one game… um… what was it? It got old and lame because no more cards were made for it…" the son said. "… Duel Monsters…?" Mai said. "YEAH THAT'S THE ONE!"
Mai snapped out of her day dream and screamed the top of her voice. Everyone jumped and held their ears. "FUCK THAT! IM NOT WORKIN AT NO MOTHERFUCKIN MCDONALDS! WERE SAVING INDUSTRIAL ILLUSIONS! AND ANYONE WHO DOESN'T COME GETS A FUCKIN BULLET IN THE BRAIN! YOU HEAR ME!"
Yami Yugi, Joey, Rex, Marik, and Mako were all huddled together, scared from Mai's little outburst. They all nodded their heads. Kaiba, trying to play it though, pulled out his cell phone. "… your lucky I don't have anything else better to do…"
After a quick phone call, a Kaiba Corporation Helicoptor touched down in front of the Pootiezonga Mansion. Each of the Duelists prepared as they got their snow gear and their Duel Disks full of cards and prepared to load in on the chopper. Jeff Probst ran up to them in his snow wear as he tried to stop them.
"Where the fuck are you all going! Don't you know we have a show to do?" He shouted through the whirling of the chopper blades.
"Sorry Probst, but our reputations as Duelists are on the line!" Mai said as she pushed Jeff aside. Yami Yugi walked past him. "Don't worry. We'll be back in time for the Immunity Challenge!" he assured Jeff. Jeff however wasn't buying it.
"I don't believe you!" He turned and signaled a bunch of cameramen as they loaded inside the helicopter. "We're going with you! You aren't getting out of this show until it's OVER!" Yami Yugi shrugged. "Whatever floats your boat!"
Bernadette came running up afterwards. "Don't forget meeeee!" she shouted seductively. Rex saw her running at the copter from his seat. "OH HELL NAW!" He jumped up and ran to the control panel, shoved the pilot aside, and slammed the lever that closes the door.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR! GET THIS BITCH INTO THE AIR BEFORE THAT FAT COW FINDS A WAY TO GET ON BOARD!" Rex shouted in a panic. At that moment, the pilot took off into the air, leaving poor Bernadette behind.
Location : Inside Industrial Illusions
Everyone was huddled together, scared. They had no idea why this group of terrorists decided to hold up a card company. But one thing was certain, they had to protect the cards at all costs. Two of the terrorists had two of Pegasus's most loyal flunkies, Croquet and Kemo, scared in a corner.
"Now… your gonna tell us where Pegasus is, and your gonna do it now… or else!" one of the terrorists said. "W-W-W-WE ALREADY TOLD YOU… WE DON'T KNOW!" Croquet yelled out. "Yeah… after that survivor thing… no one has seen him since…" Kemo said out of fear. "We think you're lying!" said the other Terrorist. Suddenly, another one walks up to them. "We found where they keep all their Duel Monsters cards! It's the fuckin' mother load!" He said.
"OH NO!" Croquet and Kemo shouted.
"Great! Show us!" said the other terrorist. The 3rd terrorist lead the other two to the room. Out the corner of his eye, he saw a frightened Industrial Illusions Secretary scared against a wall. The 3rd terrorist walked up to her. "Hey baby… you don't need to be frightened… come ride my 'Train of Love' and…" The 2nd terrorist shoved him. "KEEP GOING, YOU BASTARD!"
Kemo and Croquet looked out the window. "Pegasus! Where are you…" they said.
Location : Kaiba Corp. Helicopter
Everyone was seated in recliners as they watched the overhead tv as they enjoyed their trip to America.
We now return to the network premiere of Lil' Jon Saves Christmas!
A red sleigh touched down in a snowy field as Lil Jon and the two elves got out of it.
"If we go any farther on sleigh, the Snow Vizier will know that were here, so we have to go on foot, ok Lil' Jon?" The elf said.
"OK!"
The three of them walked walked until they reached a bridge. Just as they were attempting to cross, a troll popped out from underneath.
"BLAH! I AM A TROLL! I AM GOING TO EAT YOU! BLAH!"
The elves grabbed each other. "OH NO! IT'S A BRIDGE TROLL! LIL JON! SAVE US!" they both said.
"WHAT!"
The troll got wide-eyed. "Lil Jon! THE Lil Jon? OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! YOU ARE MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE! I LOVED THAT SONG, SHAKE IT LIKE A SALT SHAKER! MAY I PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH!"
"…YEAH!"
Lil Jon signed the autograph, then gave it to the Troll. "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! MY SISTER IS GOING TO FLIP WHEN SHE SEES I GOT LIL' JON'S AUTOGRAPH!" The troll said as he went back under his bridge.
"I guess that means we can cross!" The elf said. "HORRAY!"
"Come on Lil' Jon! We got a holiday to save!"
"OK!"
Suddenly, the TV went off.
"WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!" Joey shouted.
"We have arrived at Industrial Illusions." Said the pilot over the intercom.
The doors opened as Kaiba was the first one out. "Let's get this shit over with so I can go home and go back to killing Yugi's ass."
"And I can go back to pissing Kaiba off." Yami Yugi said as he walked outside. Mako was the third person off. "Man, is anybody else confused on that special we were watching?"
As soon as the Duelists were off, Joey looked around. "Industrial Illusions is in a forest."
"No, you fuckin moron! If we go any closer, those terrorists will know were coming. Were gonna have to sneak in from the sewers!" Kaiba said. He pulled out some blueprints (Kaiba is famous for those, as you can see!) and laid them out on the ground. Everyone gathered around the blueprints.
"If we follow the cave in the middle of the forest, it will take us to the main pipelines to I2, then getting us inside from the broiler room, we should be able to sneak attack those terrorists, if I remember this place correctly." Kaiba explained.
Yugi turned to Jeff and the others. "You guys stay here. This could get a bit ugly."
"Ok, but here. Take these with you!" Jeff said as he tossed each of them what looked like a hat.
"The fuck are these for?" Rex said, looking it over. "There's a small hidden camera in those hats. Try to give our viewers a good show!" Jeff said. They each put their hat on, then took off running into the forest.
Kaiba lead them to the cave, which eventually turned into a pipemaze. "Shit, how are we going to get thru this?" Marik asked.
"I summon Vorse Raider!" Kaiba shouted. "CUT THAT SHIT UP!"
The Vorse Raider executed a huge slash from it's axe, dicing up the pipes. The Pipes hid a walkway that lead straight to the Industrial Illusions Broiler Room.
Location : Card Factory inside Industrial Illusions
The Card Factory was a large facility that made every Duel Monsters card known to man. It was hidden underground, but somehow, the Terrorists were able to find the way in. Each worker were being held at gun point by the terrorists as the two in charge looked the factory over.
"I must say, I'm impressed!" The first one said. The second one shook it's head. "It's a damn shame we have to DESTROY it."
"NO! YOU CANT! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!" Kemo said.
"WILL SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!" Croquet cried.
"Be quiet before I shoot you in your fuckin ear!" said a bigger terrorist.
"Ok everyone! This is it! It's time to burn this mother down!" said another terrorist.
"YOU BITCHES ARENT DOING SHIT!"
Everyone turned to see Yami Yugi, Kaiba, Joey, Mai, Rex, Marik, and Mako standing across the factory, Duel Disks already activated.
"I should have known you rat bastards would be showing up here…" said a terrorist.
"What the hell took you so long anyways!" said another one.
"You fuckers talk like you've been expecting us or something." Kaiba said.
"WE WERE! WERE GOING TO KILL YOU ASSHOLES ONCE AND FOR ALL!" said the first terrorist. He was obviously the leader.
"You know, you all talk a lot of shit behind those black masks." Rex said.
"Yeah, why don't you take that shit off… or is it because your all just too ugly!" Yami taunted.
"You heard them, everyone… lets give the bitches what they want!" And with that, the terrorists took off their black clothing and masks. They revealed themselves to the Duelists, shocking the hell out of them.
"WHY DOESN'T IT SURPRISE ME THAT IT WOULD BE YOU FUCKIN BASTARDS PULLIN' THIS SHIT!" Yami Yugi shouted angrily.
"You've got some nerve showing your gay ass mugs around here!" Joey said just as pissed.
"What, did you dicks think you were going to see the last of us…" said the leader of the terrorists… who was really… Ash Ketchum!
Ash was backed by his Pokemon crew… Misty, Brock, Tracey, Gary Oak, May, and Max!
"You bitches obviously didn't learn your lesson from the last time we bitch slapped you when you tired pulling some shit like this!" Mako said.
Ash folded his arms. "THAT was a mistake. We admit, facing you hairy cunts head on was the stupidest thing we could have done… but then we got an idea… to hit you where it hurts… the source of your powers!"
(Author's note: If you guys are lost, I originally created a fanfic called Duel Monsters VS. Pocket Monsters, but I pulled it down cuz it wasn't really getting any reviews… It was the first crossover fan fiction I've ever written. Would u like me to put it up again? Hit me up and let me know and I will.)
Misty stepped forward. "If we destroyed Industrial Illusions, you all would be NOTHING!"
Mai shook her head. "You guys are nothing but a bunch of immature little kids!"
"Let's kick their asses again so that I can get home! I don't wanna spend my Christmas listening to these whiny bitches!" Rex said.
"Why don't you try it, you long hair homo!" Gary shouted at Rex.
"YOU SON OF A BITCH! ILL KILL YOU!" Rex shot back. Yami Yugi held his arm out in front of Rex. "Hang on a second, Rex… don't you think their acting funny?" he said.
"What do ya mean, Yuge?" Joey asked.
"Think about it… last time we fought them, we udderly kicked their asses! Now their raring to go again… it doesn't seem right."
"Maybe they got better monsters? I mean, it was damn there two years ago that this happened, Yugi." Mai said.
"AND they don't have that Mewtwo thing with them…" Mako said.
"WAIT A FUCKIN MINUTE!" Marik shouted. Everyone looked at him. "YOU ALL FOUGHT BEFORE! WHEN WAS THIS!"
"It was a long time ago… these bitches took my grandfather, Mokuba, and Serenity, and forced us into a battle with our Duel Monsters vs. their Pocket Monsters. Of course, we kicked that ass, but then they unleashed this fuckin super Pokemon, Mewtwo, and it ALMOST kicked all our asses… thank god for the heart of the cards!" Yami Yugi explained to Marik.
"WHY THE FUCK WASN'T I INVITED! LAST I CHECKED, I WAS PART OF YU-GI-OH! TOO!"
"Because you were still an evil bitch back then and we all hated your ass." Kaiba said.
"…ooohh… I knew that…" Marik said.
The Pokemon crew stood there, annoyed and bored. "If you assholes are don't talking to yourself, we'd love to kill you, blow this place up, and go back to Kanto." Misty said.
"You skinny bitch! You aren't gonna do shit!" Mai shouted.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME!"
"YOU HEARD ME, CARROT TOP!"
Ash turned to May, Max, and Tracey. "Hey, you guys torch the cards in the card vault. We'll fight these fuckers!"
"Ok Ash! Good luck!" May said as she turned and started running towards the card vault. Max and Tracey went after her. Ash however kept watching May's butt as she ran. "Damn… I ain't never seen an ass like that…" Then he turned back to the Duelists. Are you ready? GO PIKACHU! BULBASAUR! CHIKORITA! TAILLOW! CHARIZARD! TOTODILE!"
Ash's Pokemon all stood staring down the duelists.
Brock and Misty ran beside Ash.
"GO ONIX! GRAVELER! FORRETRESS! MUDKIP! LOTAD!" Brock yelled as he tossed a bunch of red and white balls into the air. The balls popped open as all Brock's Pokemon stood beside Ash's. it was Misty's turn now.
"POLIWHIRL! STARYU! STARMIE! GYARADOS! AND… (sighs) fuckin Psyduck…"
Misty's Pokemon entered the battle lines, with Psyduck holding his head, walking around aimlessly.
"Psy yi yi…"
"PSYDUCK YOU STUPID ASS DUCK! GET YOUR DUMBASS BACK OVER HERE!"
The Duelists shook their heads.
"Is that shit susposed to scare us!" Rex shouted.
Yami Yugi turned to Joey, Rex, and Mako. "You guys, go after those other three bitches! If they destroy those cards then we flew all the way out here for nothing!"
"Count on us, Yuge! Those fuckers wont know what hit em!" Joey said.
"Come on! I'll be damn if I end up having to actually work for a living!" Mako said.
Joey, Mako, and Rex took off running, trying their best to catch up with May, Max, and Tracey.
"You know… if, god forbid, they do destroy those cards… maybe I'll work at Victoria's Secret! Ohhh hell yeah!" Rex thought as he started to drool. Joey looked back at him.
"The fuck is wrong with you, Raptor?"
"HUH? Oh, nothing… I was thinking about having a Christmas Pizza later." Rex said.
"Yeah… with Fruit Punch!" said Mako.
"Oh we'll eat… just as soon as we whoop some Poke Ass!" Joey declared
Yami Yugi stepped forward. "I SUMMON CELTIC GUARDIAN! BIG SHIELD GARDNA! BUSTER BLADER! GAIA THE FIERCE KNIGHT! DARK MAGICIAN GIRL! AND DARK MAGICIAN!
Kaiba stepped forward. "I SUMMON VORSE RAIDER! SWORD STALKER! SPEAR DRAGON! AND ALL THREE BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGONS!"
Mai stepped up. "I SUMMON THE HARPIE LADY SISTERS! AND HARPIES PET DRAGON! THEN ACTIVATE HARPIE'S PHOENIX FORMATION!"
Marik stood there… staring down Gary… and Gary did the same thing… the two of them were in a heated match! This was it! The Ultimate Battle for Christmas was about to begin!
Locatioin : Kaiba Corp. Helicoptor
Jeff, the camera crew, and the pilot sat inside the helicopter playing Go Fish.
"Got any 10s?" the Pilot asked.
"Go fish." Said one of the Cameramen. "Got any 3s?"
"Go fish." Said Jeff.
"Hey, you think Yugi and the others will be ok in there… you know, going up against terrorists and all?" the other cameraman asked.
"They'll be fine. Believe me, if they can survive day in and day out from the shit that I've seen, this should be nothing more than a walk in the park for them." Jeff explained.
"Ok, I guess your right. Got any 5s?"
"Go fish."
And so, the Battle for the Cards begins! Will Ash, Misty, and Brock get the best of Yugi, Kaiba, and Mai? What kind of Battle will we see when Gary Oak takes on Marik Ishtar! And will Joey, Rex, and Mako be able to prevent May, Max, and Tracey from destroying ALL the Duel Monsters cards! All these questions answered next episode of Survivor: Duelist Style!
OK guys, I thought I would try something different. I hope you like it! I had to give you all something to look forward too, so I made this one a two parter! Please R&R!
OH, and I'm SO sorry this is so short. I'm gonna be busy the next couple of days so I wont have time to update for a while.