Ok guys, I'm having some serious writers block on the next episode, so here's something I put together while I was in my Biology Class while watching some boring ass movie on Chromosomes. It's something I like to call, "The Cartoon Before The Movie". I did this because of writer's block, and I'm not quite ready to end this fan fic yet. So until then, ENJOY!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, nor do I own Survivor
In Hollywood California, the CBS Executives all sat around a large rectangular table with a bunch of papers and glasses of wine in front of them. At the head of the table sat the CBS Producer and Kazuki Takahashi, the father of Yu-Gi-Oh!
"A toast, Gentlemen…" The Producer said. "To Mr. Takahashi for giving us the gift of Yu-Gi-Oh! and for the success of Survivor! Duelist Style!. Thanks to that show, we are now the most watched network on the air! And that whole incident at Industrial Illusions skyrocketed our ratings!"
"And to think… you all wanted to use stupid ass Pokemon!" Takahashi said.
"Had we of done that… we would have all been in the unemployment line at this very moment… so a toast to…"
As everyone rised up their wine glasses, a distress call came on the telecom.
"Mr. Haywood! Mr. Haywood!"
The Producer pushed a button next to the telecom. "Yes, what is it Debbie! Were in the middle of a toast!"
"I know, I know, but theres a large man here, and he's… NO DON'T GO IN THERE!"
Suddenly the line went dead.
"Um… what's going on Mr. Haywood?" Takahashi asked.
Just then, an ax blade came through the large double doors. The blade was pulled out, then forced back in. The Executives all shot worried looks at one another. Finally, the double doors were kicked in as a large man who wore a bandanna with the American flag on it around his head, dark sunglasses, and biker attire stepped into the room. Bandit Keith threw down his ax and walked up to the large table and began pounding on it.
"I WANT SOME FUCKIN ANSWERS! ONE OF YOU PENCIL NECKED GEEKS BETTER START TALKING RIGHT FUCKIN NOW!"
"Keith! Keith, calm down." Takahashi said.
"NO YOU FUCKIN CALM DOWN! I'M GOING TO THE BAR TO GET HAMMERED THE OTHER DAY, AND I JUST SO HAPPEN TO LOOK AT A BILLBOARD THAT SAYS, 'THE GREATEST REALITY SHOW ON TV… SURVIVOR, DUELIST STYLE!' AND THERES A PICTURE OF THOSE STUPID ASS DUELISTS! THAT JUST COMPLETELY FUCKED UP MY ENTIRE NIGHT! WHY THE FUCK WASN'T I CALLED FOR THIS SHOW! IM THE FUCKIN' INTERCONTINNENTAL CHAMPION, DAMMIT!"
The Executives were all too scared to say anything. Mr. Haywood and Mr. Takahashi looked at each other. Keith then jumped on the large table.
"SOMEBODY BETTER START FUCKIN TALKIN OR BANDIT KEITH IS GONNA GET BUCK WILD UP IN THIS BITCH!"
Mr. Haywood tried to reason with the uber-pissed Keith. "Keith, Keith, we tried to call you, but it said your cell phone was disconnected."
"THAT'S SOME HIGH QUALITY, FIRST CLASS, GRADE-A BULLSHIT!" Keith shouted. "CALL MY PHONE! RIGHT NOW! I GUARANTEE YOU IT'LL WORK!"
"Keith, I don't think…"
Keith pulled out a shotgun, then cocked it. "CALL IT OR IM GONNA START PUMPIN' BITCHES FULL OF HOT LEAD!"
"Fine…"
Mr. Haywood walked back to the telecom and entered Bandit Keith's cell phone number, then turned the speaker on. The cell phone could be heard ringing. The ring tone was Beethoven's 9th Symphony. After the third ring, System of a Down's Bounce! Began to play loudly. After like 3 minutes, the sound turned down and Keith's voice could be heard,
"Hey, this is Bandit Keith. You know what to do."
The music turned back up and played for another 2 minutes, then another voice came on,
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"SEE! MY SHIT IS CONNECTED!"
"Um… why didn't you answer?" Takahashi asked.
"Because bitch! I don't get free minutes til after 9pm! And plus I'm roaming right now!" Keith yelled.
"Listen Keith…" The Producer said. "We have something we think you'll like. We're currently working with MTV for another Real World, and we thought having Duelists on there would spice up the ratings, and naturally, we thought to add Bandit Keith to that mix… what do you think?"
Keith got down off the table. "Whoa! Some of those chicks are HOT on that show! Ok, you guys got a deal! Where do I sign!"
"We'll do the contract signing once everyone is here." The Producer assured him. "Alright! Now that's what the fuck I'm talkin' about!" Bandit Keith shouted. He then started to walk out the busted down double doors, then stopped in his tracks.
"If I'm watching TV one day, and I find out that you decided to use something like Yu Yu Hakusho, Digimon, or any gay shit like that, then I will come back here and open up a can of whoop ass on you nerdy bastards. You hear me? Good Day!"
Bandit Keith left the room. All the network executives finally calmed down.
The Producer raised his wine glass. "Now, before we were so rudely interrupted… a toast to…"
"MR. HAYWOOD! MR. HAYWOOD!"
"What now, Debbie!"
"There's another psycho here to see you! Theres a bunch of them and they all look alike and… HEY, YOU CANT JUST GO IN THERE… COME BAC…"
The line suddenly went dead again. Mr. Takahashi shook his head. "Now what…?"
Espa Roba and his three brothers busted in the room.
"IM GOING TO ASK THIS AND IM ONLY ASKING IT ONCE… WHO'S ASS AM I ABOUT TO KICK!" Espa Shouted
"Whats the matter... Mr… uh…"
"ROBA! ESPA ROBA!"
"Right… Mr. Roba… what seems to be troubling you?"
"ME AND MY BROTHERS WERE WATCHING TV THE OTHER DAY, AND NOT ONLY DID WE SEE YOUR SURVIVOR: DUELIST STYLE, BUT MY NAME WAS MENTIONED SO MANY TIMES ITS NOT EVEN FUCKIN FUNNY! AND IVE WRITTEN IT DOWN TOO!"
The executives and the Producer looked at each other. Mr. Takahashi put his hand over his face as he shook his head in disgust. Espa Roba pulled out a small list out of his pocket.
"In one episode, Rex Raptor said something, and Jeff Probst replied, 'Go Blow Espa Roba, Raptor!' And in another episode, that American Idol rip off you did, I heard Yugi or Mako or whoever mention MY name in a song!"
"BIG BROTHER! IM HUNGRY!"
"SHUT UP! IM TRYING TO NEGOTIATE HERE!" Espa shouted at one of his brothers. "Now im not TOO pissed that you didn't call ME to be on this show, but if your going to be mentioning me, I want to see some of that damn money your all swimming in! I've got half the mind to sue your asses, but I have to take care of my brothers here! And quite frankly, I barely have the money to feed them!"
"Ok Mr. Roba… if we give you some money, will you cool off?"
"DAMN STRAIGHT!"
"But Espa… we thought you were gonna…"
"Shut up or I'll whore you all out to gay men for money again…" Espa said quietly.
The Producer tossed a roll of dollar bills to Espa Roba. "Will $200 be enough?"
"TWO HUNDRED? TWO HUNDRED! TWO FUCKING HUNDRED DOLLARS! I GET MADE FUN OF ON A DAILY BASIS AND ALL YOU CAN GIVE ME IS TWO HUNDRED FUCKIN DOLLARS! I'VE SOLD MY BROTHERS FOR MORE THAN THAT SHIT!"
"Fine… $400 AND a coupon for a free small Blizzard at Dairy Queen."
"…sold." Espa said as he took the money and the coupon. He and his brothers left the room. About a minute later, Espa came back and said, "IF I HAVE TO COME BACK DOWN HERE, HEADS WILL ROLL! YOU HEAR ME! HEADS… WILL… ROLL!" Then he left again.
The Producer grabbed his jacket and headed for the door. "Come on… Lets go get lunch before another loser ass Duelist comes barging in here!"
Everyone got their jackets and briefcases full of papers and started heading out the door. A figure appeared in the large window overlooking the office. Ishizu Ishtar watched as all the Executives, Mr. Haywood, and Mr. Takahashi left the room.
Ishizu's Millennium Necklace began to flash. "So… your going to T.G.I.Friday's, huh? I'll see you there!"
The Group proceeded to head outside, but was stopped by a familiar dark group in the lobby of the CBS Building. This group was dressed in rags however, from being out of work for so long. Mr. Takahashi slapped his forehead. "What is this, a class reunion of losers! What the fuck do you Rare Hunters want!"
Rare Hunter, Arkana, Umbra, Lumis, and Strings stood between the network Executives and the door.
"Come on… you guys have got to help us! We've been in shambles ever since Master Marik disowned us!" Arkana pleaded.
"Yeah… give us our own show! PLEASE!" Rare Hunter begged.
Mr. Haywood opened his mouth, but Lumis interrupted him. "I know what your going to say… why should we give you washed up Duelists a show? Well ill tell you why!" Lumis snapped his fingers. The lobby suddenly turned from a nice, air conditioned waiting room to what appeared to be a large stage. (How they did that is beyond us).
Umbra stood on the stage in a Ring Master's suit and top hat. "We'll call it… Circus of the Ghouls!"
Mr. Takahashi slapped his forehead once again. "This CANNOT be happening to me…"
Umbra pointed upwards. "WE HAVE RARE HUNTER… THE DEATH-DEFYING, AMAZING FLYING TRAPEZE ARTIST!"
Rare Hunter began to swing from a trapeze. The second swing came loose from the lack of funds. Lumis pushed a large tank of water on the stage to break the Rare Hunter's fall. Once he hit the pool, the water splashed from the tank and drenched the Network Execs, Mr. Haywood, and Mr. Takahashi!
The Network Execs began to grumble. "MY FUCKIN SUIT! I JUST GOT THIS OUT OF THE CLEANERS!" Mr. Takahashi shouted.
Umbra began to sweat. "Um… well, if that didn't get you, then you'll LOVE the pantomime of Strings!"
Strings came on the stage and began doing the man trapped in the box act, and a few other routines.
The others weren't buying it as most of the Network Execs. have nodded off, while Mr. Haywood and Mr. Takahashi struggled to stay awake.
Umbra ran back on stage and pushed Strings off. "And finally… duel ghoul with a funny bone… the comedy act of the Dueling Comedian… Lumis!"
Lumis came on stage wearing a t-shirt, an open jacket, baggy pants, and some Air Force Ones shoes. He still, however, wore his half of a white mask over his face.
"Yo Yo YO! MAN, WHATS UP WITH YUGI! I HAVENT SEEN HAIR THAT BIG SINCE MARGE SIMPSON… HUH? HUH?"
The Network Group was silent. Crickets were heard chirping in the background.
"Ok OK OK! YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE! Kaiba's mama's so stupid, if brains were dynamite, she wouldn't have enough to blow her nose! Huh! HUH!"
A chuckle was heard in the group, followed by the smacking sound of a head. Mr. Haywood stood up. "You know what guys? Work on your stuff. And don't call us… we'll call you." He turned to his group. "LETS GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"
Everyone took off running as the Rare Hunters stood there, stunned. "I cant believe that didn't work…" Arkana said. "I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO SHOW THEM MY MAGIC ACT!"
Suddenly a young woman walked up to the group.
"Hi! I have a 2:15 interview with CBS for Fear Factor…?"
The Rare Hunters shot each other devious looks…
Outside, The Network Group piled into a large stretch Limo. Mr. Takahashi knocked on the small window that connected to the driver's area.
"Driver… I don't care where you take us, but get us the fuck out of here before more Duelists show up and… OH HELL NO!"
Mr. Takahashi looked at the small plaque that was posted on the dash bored. It read:
"Your driver is… Ms. Ishizu Ishtar"
Mr. Haywood and the Network Executives saw the plaque, and fear and terror was seen on their faces.
Ishizu turned around wearing a chauffeur uniform and a little chauffeur hat on her head.
"Welcome to hell on earth…"
The Limo took off down the street and hauled ass a couple blocks until it boarded the L.A. Freeway. Screams could be heard coming from the Limo as it took off to an unknown location. So it seems, looks like Ishizu will be the one to get what she wants.
And now, we return you to your regularly scheduled Fan Fiction… Next Chapter, were down to Six Duelists… who's gonna get kicked off next? Find out soon! If you like, please R&R this mini-chapter!