Where You Lead

Chapter 13 - You're Not the Boss of Me

For Jess. For the purpose of this story there is now an alley between the diner and Taylor's Ice-cream Shoppe

Disclaimer: Thanks ASP and The Might Be Giants

Yes, no, maybe, I don't know

Can you repeat the question

You're not the boss of me now

You're not the boss of me now

You're not the boss of me now

And you're not so big

You're not the boss of me now

You're not the boss of me now

You're not the boss of me now

And you're not so big

Life is unfair…

As his world spun black and grey, Jess groaned and sunk deeper into Luke's sofa. Events of the past two days had just about given him a harsh shove back onto the dark path.

He knew he was the spawn of two of the worlds biggest mistake makers, but now it seemed, despite the monstrous cock-ups of his parents, the student had surpassed the masters.

He'd succeeded in screwing everything up in so many different ways, including his own life, that the temptation to hurl himself into the bottomless hole life had put in front of him, was getting harder to resist. How was one supposed to hold onto his best friend, fight for the love of his life, all the while trying to keep his sanity?

Jess was sorry he'd hurt Amber. He was sorry he hadn't been up front with her about Rory from the start. But he wasn't sorry for kissing Rory, for allowing Rory to kiss him back. Any instinct within Jess that was telling him to go home, back to California, back to Jimmy, had an equal and opposite instinct telling him to stay. Stay for Rory; show her that he'd changed. That he's capable of feeling something, of believing in something.

He needed to prove to Amber that he still needed her, but he needed Rory too. He loved Amber, but he was in love with Rory, and somehow he needed to tell her that.

Luke storming into the apartment shook Jess from his thoughts.

"You're still here." Luke grumbled, less a question, than a statement.

"Yeah."

Neither spoke after that. Luke removed two beers from the fridge and handed one to Jess, before taking a seat at the other end of the sofa. Jess shifted in his seat, Luke sighed.

"Your mom's downstairs." Luke broke the silence with a nonchalant, neutral topic.

"Huh." Jess retaliated with a one-worded answer, to appear as if he was listening, but not investing himself wholly in the conversation.

"She's being a pain in the ass, ordering food from here to Chinatown. TJ's trying to impress everyone with that damn etch-a-sketch."

"TJ?"

"The husband."

"Ah."

"Jess. Are you okay?" Jess looked at his uncle quizzically. Luke showed no signs that he'd just asked a question, he stared at the carpet and took a swig of his slowly warming beer.

"Huh?"

"Are you okay?" Luke asked again, still looking to the floor, with a beer in his hand.

"Yeah. Why?"

"I was talking to Lorelai… And Dean's mom…" Jess didn't speak. Nothing he could come up with would suffice. There was no plausible justification for kissing Rory, or getting into a fight with Dean.

"And I'm public enemy number one? What else is new?"

"Is that why you came back Jess? For Rory?"

"She's the reason I stayed away." He couldn't even say her name. "I came back because my mother is getting married. That's it. Period. And I would not have brought Amber with me if I was coming here for Rory." Luke nodded as Jess finished the longest sentence he'd said to Luke since he got back into town.

Having had enough of Luke's indirect interrogation, Jess pushed himself off the sofa, grabbed his coat off the dining table and stormed out, slamming the flimsy door behind him.

Rory stood in the metre wide alley between Luke's and the Ice-cream Shoppe, encouraging herself to step a few feet around the corner and go into the diner. She was hungry, for food among other things, but the thought that Jess might be there scared her. And thrilled her. Never in her life had Rory had such mixed emotions about anything. She hated not having control over what she was feeling. And Jess Mariano was the cause of that problem. The only way to move past it would be to face it head on.

As she finally worked up the courage to step around the corner, she was bowled backwards by an extremely angry Jess.

Without a word he took her by the shoulders, pushed her gently backwards, out of view of any wandering eyes, leaned down and pressed his lips hungrily to hers.

"Jess…" Rory breathed, as Jess found a kissable spot below her ear. "We can't… I'm with…" Jess didn't need to hear his name. He released his grasp of Rory's shoulders and backed slowly away, refusing to look her in the eye.

Without warning, Rory put her hands to Jess's face and pulled him to her. She tilted her head upwards and brushed her lips against his. Jess's lips parted, welcoming the unexpected affection.

Against everything his body was telling him, Jess gripped Rory's waist and pulled her away from him.

"What about…" Rory silenced Jess with her mouth.

"I don't care about him. I want you." Rory murmured against his lips.