Sorry this took so long... my parents decided to clean out the computer, and the result was catastrophic... EVERYTHING I had on my computer is gone... and I was halfway done with this chapter, now I have to start ALL over! I hope I can redeem the first part. That and the fact that my finals… I was on wits end about that… but its all over now!
Anyways, moving right along, Atemu's Lover, what do you mean when you say, "POST POST POST!"? You want me to post this up on the Internet or something? Lord Nysakeo, I saw your profile man! I dont mind at all that you used my format... cause I kinda burrowed it off other profiles! And Finally, Malik Ishtar Sekhmet, sorry about the joke about Malik's mom. I had originally had that planned for Kaiba, but I wanted to target someone else for a change. Chill out, ok? Smiles
Check out my profile to see what I've been up to. Til then, heres the next Chapter!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! nor do I own Survivor
4 Duelists…
Yugi Muto… Joey Wheeler… Seto Kaiba… Rex Raptor…
2 Prizes…
3 Million Dollars…. Treasure Chest full of rare cards…
WHO WILL BE THE WINNER? FIND OUT WHO GET'S THE BOOT TODAY ON…
Survivor! Outwit, Outplay, Outlast! Duelist Style!
(CAMERA TIME)
Rex Raptor
"Ok, this is it! Today is the day! I am seriously getting voted off! Week after Week after Week, I have been raped by that incredibly large whale of a woman, and I'm fuckin' sick of it! I don't deserve this! I'm a regional champion, dammit! Well no more! this show isn't worth the bullshit I've been through, so if i cant get voted off, I'm just leaving in general!"
Well, its another beautiful Morning on Destiny Island as the cameras film all sorts of exotic loactions on this island. The scene then shifts to the inside of the Pootiezonga Mansion as Joey sits on the couch with a tableful of food that he won at the past Rewards Challenge, watching TV. Then there was Rex's room... there were KEEP OUT signs posted all over the doors, as well as barbed wire and land mines too keep a certain nurse out. The cameras were about to view the kitchen, until they were pulled aside by Yami Yugi.
"Hey, come with me!" he said as he grabbed the cameraman by his arm.
"Where are we going, Yugi?" the cameraman asked.
"You'll see!"
(A/N: The following scene is based on a TRUE event. I'm Yami Yugi, my other friend Dylan is the Cameraman, and my best friend Eli (Goten) is Kaiba. I repeat... this really happened!)
Yami led the man upstairs, to one of the many master bedrooms. Yami put his index finger to his lips as he quietly opened the door and walked inside, to see none other than Seto Kaiba sleeping like a baby. The cameraman looked around as Yami walked out, then back inside with a box. he set the box down, then pulled out a bottle.
"Yugi..." The cameraman whispered. "Why are we in Kaiba's room?"
"You'll see." Yami whispered back. "Whatever you do, just keep filming."
Yami took out a bottle rocket and set it inside the bottle. He lit the fuse then pulled the cameraman back. A second later, the bottle rocket launched, pinballing off each of the walls, carrying with it that loud, high pitched shrieking sound! (If you've ever lit a bottle rocket, you know EXACTLY which sound I'm talking about!). Kaiba jumped about a foot into the air as the shrieking sound pierced his earlobes. Kaiba looked around to see the bottle rocket richocheting off the walls, then pulled his covers over his head.
"YUUUUUUGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Kaiba shouted from under his blankets.
The bottle rocket bounced off one more wall, then shot towards his head, then exploded. The cameraman was laughing like crazy, and Yami Yugi had fallen on the floor because he was laughing so hard.
"TIME TO WAKE UP, KAIBA!" Yami shouted in between laughs.
Kaiba quickly threw off his covers and jumped out of bed, his eyes were blood-shot red from anger.
"YOU DONE FUCKED UP NOW!" Kaiba shouted.
"Damn Kaiba!" Yami laughed. "You look like the Red Eyes Black Dragon!"
(END OF TRUE EVENT)
Back downstairs...
"Today on Maury... Which one of these men is the baby's father?"
Joey groaned as he changed the channel. "Fuckin' Maury! Cant that decrepit old bastard come up with some new topics for a change!"
Suddenly, Yami Yugi and the cameraman ran at top speed past Joey, followed by the sound of a gun that vibrated throughout the house. Next came a stream of bullets that rushed past Joey's sight. Next was a VERY pissed off Kaiba, chasing them down firing an M4 Assualt Rifle. "IM GONNA FUCKIN KILL YOU YUGI! YOU HEAR ME! YOUR DEAD!"
Joey watched as Yugi and the cameraman busted down the front door, followed by Kaiba and another group of bullets fired from his rifle.
"Damn... Yugi has all the fun..." Joey said, watching the scene in bafflement.
(CAMERA TIME)
Seto Kaiba
"You know what? This is it. No more of these childish games. Yugi has pissed me off one too many times and its about time he met the Reaper of the Cards! Shooting off a fuckin' bottle rocket while I was sleeping? THAT was the straw that broke the camel's back! Yugi... prepare yourself. This time, you meet your fuckin' maker!"
Ladies and Gentlemen... I think he means it this time...
Location : Jungle : 1:14pm
Bernadette walked through the jungle with one purpose in mind. "Rex.. where are you my sweet little Rexy-pie!" she called. Rex was no where to be found. Suddenly, a pair of beady little eyes were seen from a tree watching her… followed by more and more pairs popping up out of random trees.
"REXY?"
"NOW!"
Suddenly, a barrage of coconuts were being tossed out from the trees, each one connecting with Bernadette's skull. The nurse went down, unconscience.
Rex jumped out of the tree, followed by a group of monkeys. "Thanks for the help, guys!" he said.
Each of the monkeys put of their little paws on their hips and tapped their foot, while they extended their other hand.
"Haha! Oh yeah, right!"
Rex tossed them a large bunch of bananas. The monkeys took the bananas and ran off into the jungle. Rex reached into the brush and pulled out a large tool box. He ran into the jungle with a huge smile on his face.
"This is it!" Rex said happily. "I'm gonna finally get off this island and away from these chumpasaurs once and for all!"
Rex then disappeared into the Jungle.
Location : Other side of the Jungle : 1:20pm
Yugi and Joey decided to take a walk through the jungle. Of course, it was one of those blazing hot days that you would come to expect on a tropical island.
"Wow Joey… I cant believe weve survived this long!" Yugi said.
"You said it Yuge. Just two more duelists and it'll be down to just the two of us!" Joey said
Joey stopped in his tracks. "Hey Yugi… wanna fix the competition so we win?"
"Joey, I don't think that would be right…"
"Come on, Yuge… remember the theme of this show… outwit, outplay, outlast!"
Yugi thought for a moment, then Yami Yugi decided to take over.
"YU-GI-OOOOOOHHHHHH!"
Yami Yugi stood in front of Joey with one hand on his hip and the other hand hanging down. "Your on Joey!" he said. "You take care of Rex Raptor… Kaiba is mine."
"AWW, COME ON YUGE!" Joey cried. "I WANNA GET RID OF RICH BOY!"
"NO." Yami said. "You know Kaiba wants a piece of my ass… because he's gay… no, but were rivals, so it's only proper that I be the one to get rid of his ass once and for all."
"Alright… ill go find Dino Brains" Joey said as he ran off into the Jungle.
And so, an alliance has been made. Yugi and Joey has teamed up against Rex and Kaiba… its Pootietang vs. Gazonga all over again!
Yami Yugi sat down on a rock, crossed his legs, then his arms, then bowed his head and closed his eyes
(CAMERA TIME)
Yugi Muto
"Kaiba seriously isn't hard to find at all. The bitch pops up either when you least expect it or when you don't really wanna look him. Lately I've taken it upon myself to tease him, so knowing Kaiba, all I have to do is wait, and he'll be here with another plan to try and kill me, only to have me find a clever way out of it. Is anyone else having Wile E. Coyote/Road Runner flashbacks?"
Yami listened to the sounds of the jungle… the birds chirping… monkeys chattering and jumping through trees… the warm wind blowing through the brush… until an unknown sound was heard. This was the roaring sound of helicopter blades that cut through the wind. Yami's eyes shot open as a smile shot across his face.
"SHOWTIME!"
Yami got up, and pulled a backpack out from behind a rock, then put it on. The Millennium Puzzle began to flash, indicating danger.
"What's Kaiba up to now?" Yami said.
Just then, Yami sensed something. He quickly turned around and looked up as a familiar helicopter flew past him. This was the same helicopter that Pegasus and the other duelists had used to infiltrate the Pootiezonga Mansion the night before. The chopper turned around. Yami used his Millennium Puzzle to see who was piloting the chopper.
"I should have known better! KAIBA!"
Inside the helicopter, Kaiba sat at the controls, messing around with the on board computer. Yami Yugi appeared on the screen. Kaiba smiled as he grabbed the tiny microphone off the dashboard. The helicopter had a built-in P.A. System.
"This is it Yugi! There's NO WAY your hocus-pocus magic tricks are gonna save you this time! I modified this helicopter to be my Fortress of Revenge!"
Yami Yugi flipped Kaiba off from the ground.
"You'd better enjoy that, because that's the last time you get away with mocking me!"
Kaiba set the microphone down, then flipped a couple caps off the steering wheel of the helicopter. The caps hid little buttons that were obviously used to fire off guns. Kaiba pressed down on the buttons with his thumbs and let out an evil laugh. The front of the helicopter began to fire bullets straight down at Yami.
Yami shook his head as two lines of bullets approached him. He quickly side stepped out of the way. Yami then pulled out a megaphone from out of his back pack.
"KAIBA! YOU OUGHT KNOW BETTER THAN THAT!" He shouted.
Kaiba picked up his microphone again. "SHUT UP, BITCH! I WAS JUST TESTING THOSE!"
Kaiba starting firing again, this time, he had Yugi in his sights. Yami dashed around, swiftly avoiding each one of Kaiba's shots. The only thing Kaiba was hitting where the trees and bushes. Something didn't seem right though. Kaiba still didn't seem like he was being serious. After another stream of bullets, Kaiba stopped firing. Yami Yugi crotched down and put his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath.
"HAHAHAHA! DO YOU SEE NOW YUGI? I WAS TRYING TO WEAR YOU DOWN! NOW I BUST OUT THE HEAVY ARTILLERY!" Kaiba shouted over the P.A.
Kaiba started to program something into the computer database. Crosshairs began to move around the screen, then finally zeroed in on Yami Yugi. Kaiba then turned a dial that was next to the keyboard. The description read, "MACHINE GUN". Once Kaiba turned the dial, the description read "HEATSEEKERS".
"Die, Yugi…"
Kaiba pressed the buttons on top of the steering wheel. Two hatches opened from the bottom of the helicopter. Then, two huge missles shot out from the hatches and headed straight for Yami Yugi. He looked up to see the missle speeding through the air, coming right at him.
"Oh fuck me…" Yami said slowly and quietly.
The missles collided with Yami and resulted in a huge explosion. Kaiba watched the monitor as a tear slowly rolled down his cheek.
"I…I did it… I did it… I FUCKIN' DID IT! YES! I FINALLY KILLED YUGI!" Kaiba shouted as he pulled out a bottle of champagne, shook it up, then popped the cork. Kaiba then started to chug down the champagne in a blaze of victory. However, that was short lived. Kaiba glaced at the monitor for a split second, then spit out all the champagne he drank all over the place.
Yami Yugi stood there, unscatched. His Millennium Puzzle formed a barrier around him, which protected him from the missles.
Kaiba grabbed his microphone. "YOU LUCKY BITCH! LETS SEE YOU ESCAPE THIS!"
Kaiba grabbed the controls and started to fly over Yami. This time, a hatch opened underneath the bottom of the helicopter, and a bomb dropped from the hatch.
Yami's mouth dropped as he looked upwards. He pulled his megaphone to his mouth.
"KAIBA! HAVE YOU FUCKIN' LOST YOUR MIND! YOU COULD BLOW UP THE WHOLE ISLAND!" he shouted.
"WHAT DO I CARE ABOUT THE REST OF THESE LOSERS ON THIS ISLAND!" Kaiba retaliated.
The bomb dropped closer and closer to the ground. Knowing there was no way to stop it, Yami took off running. He ran faster than he's ever ran before. Kaiba however, was in hot pursuit in his helicopter. The bomb hit the ground, which resulted in a very gruesome explosion that nearly wiped out a good portion of the island. Destiny Island now looked like someone took a big bite out of it.
Yami pulled himself up off the ground. "Ok… this shit has to stop! NOW!"
Kaiba circled around the Island. "WHERE DID THAT FUCKER GO? FOR A SKINNY BASTARD, HE SURE MOVES FAST!" He thought.
"YUGI MUTO LOCATED"
Kaiba zoomed in to see Yami Yugi looking around in the sky. "GOTCHA!" he shouted. Kaiba went full speed ahead at Yami. The machine guns fired and the heat seeking missles were launched. Once again, Yami's Millennium Puzzle shielded him from Kaiba's assault. Yami was ready this time. As soon as the shield faded away, Yami ran over and quickly lit a fuse. The lit fuse disappeared into the jungle.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO!" Kaiba yelled over the P.A. system.
"YOU'LL SEE!" Yami shouted through his megaphone. Suddenly, thousands of bottle rockets shot out from the Jungle, each of them carrying that loud shrieking sound. A few of them exploded off the windshield of the helicopter, while another group collided with the body of the chopper.
"IS THAT THE BEST YOU GOT? BOTTLE ROCKETS? IF IT IS, YOU'D BETTER GIVE UP, NOW!" Kaiba shouted through his speakers.
"HEY… GENIUS… YOU MIGHT WANNA TAKE A LOOK AT WHERE THE REST OF THOSE BOTTLE ROCKETS ARE HEADED…" Yami shouted back with a huge grin on his face.
Kaiba looked to see the rest of the bottle rockets screeching there way into the hold where the heat seeking missles where kept at bay.
"OH NO… OH HELL NO!" Kaiba said. He quickly jumped up from his seat, grabbed a nearby backpack, then set the helicopter to auto-pilot. He then opened the door and jumped out of the chopper.
A few seconds later, sparks began emitting from the helicopter, followed by a huge explosion in the sky.
On another side of the Island…
In one of the trailors on at the CBS Campsite, Jeff tapped his fingers on the desk he was sitting at. He had a disgruntled look on his face as the explosion finally cleared the sky, followed by a burned helicopter dropping to the island.
"Two more days… just TWO MORE DAYS of this bullshit and I can go home!" he said. "What the fuck are they gonna do next, blow up half the island!"
Suddenly, a stagehand busted into Jeff's trailor. "Mr. Probst! Were not sure how it happened, but there's a a giant chunk of the island missing!"
Jeff slapped his forehead. "Just… get…out!"
Back on the other side of the island…
Kaiba floated back down to the island with the parachute that he deployed just seconds after he jumped out of the now blown up helicopter.
"Yugi… words cannot explain how much I hate your ass…" Kaiba said quietly. "I swear… If I so much as LOOK at you when I touch the ground, I will…"
"FIRE IN THE HOLE!"
A shrieking sound was heard getting louder and louder. "The hell is that?" Kaiba said. He looked down to see another group of bottle rockets heading right toward him!
"YUUUUUUGIIIIIIIIIIII!"
Each rocket exploded around Kaiba! Some hitting him, some exploding around him, and the rest exploding off Kaiba's parachute. The Parachute then caught on fired, and Kaiba plunged toward the ground.
Yami looked worried as Kaiba came down faster than a comet. "DON'T WORRY KAIBA! ILL SAVE YOU!"
Yami ran off the cameras. He returned a few seconds later with a large wagon that held a banner that said, "Crazy Edgar's Manure Farms".
Kaiba landed in the large wagon full of manure. Kaiba stayed down for a good while. He was on the verge of killing the first object that crossed his path. The smell of manure pierced his nostrils and burned his eyes.
"Yugi… I will not stop… until I kill you… with my bare hands… I will use your body as a floor mat to my mansion in Japan… then I will melt your head on my wall…" Kaiba said as calm as he could.
Yami Yugi shook his head as he began to walk away. "Man, I save your life and this is the thanks I get? Joey's right… you ARE an ungrateful bastard." He said.
Without warning, Kaiba jumped out of the wagon and pursued Yami.
"OH SHIT ON A STICK!" Yami yelled as he took off running. Kaiba was in hot pursuit, and this time, NOTHING was gonna get in his way!
Location : Upper part of the Jungle : 2:10pm
Rex Raptor was working endlessly on a project to rid himself of Bernadette and Survivor once and for all. He had a steel face mask on and using a blow torch to put the finishing touches on his project. He shut the torch off and lifted his mask up over his beanie-covered head.
"Done… ITS DONE! HAHAHAHA!" Rex laughed.
Joey Wheeler walked up from out of some brush and looked at the large object that Rex had just finished.
"The hell is dat' thing, Rex?" Joey asked.
"THIS… is my Dino-Rocket!" Rex shouted.
The "Dino-Rocket" was a large, pterodactyl looking rocket that took Rex an hour or so to build (with strong determination). Inside the rocket, was a chair, a large tv, a couch, a bed, and a mini fridge.
Rex turned to Joey. "Wheeler… I'm going to follow my childhood dreams of going into outer space. I'm going to live above human kind in a large pterodactyl and start life on another planet! I'll make sweet, sweet love to beautiful alien women and will NEVER be harassed by that fat bitch ever again!"
Joey wiped a tear from his eye. "Good luck, man!" he said.
Rex opened the door to his Dino Rocket and went inside. "Stand back Wheeler… initiating launch sequence!"
Joey took a few steps back. Inside the rocket, Rex sat at his control panel and hit the "launch" button. A female voice was hear through the rocket.
"10… 9… 8… 7… 6…5… 4… 3… 2… 1…0… BLAST OFF!"
The large pterodactyl suddenly turned upwards, then the thrusters engaged. Fire shot out from the bottom, and the rocket launched into the air. Joey turned away and guarded his face from the impact of the launch.
Inside Jeff's Trailor…
Jeff sat with his head on his desk. The Duelists has caused Jeff more trouble than he bargained for when he agreed to do this show. From out of his window, the pterodactyl rocket could be seen shooting upwards towards the sky. The same stagehand from before busted into the trailor.
"JEFF! JEFF! YOUR NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS! A GIANT…"
"I… don't… want… to hear it…!" Jeff said with his head still on the desk.
Back at the Jungle…
Joey watched as Rex's rocket disappeared into the clouds. "…SWEET! He saved me the trouble of having me get rid of him!" Joey said happily. He walked and pulled out a cracked bat from behind a bush.
"Guess I wont be needing this anymore…"
Location : Outer Space : 3:00pm
The Pterodactyl Rocket slowly drifted across the universe. The silence of space was soon shattered as loud music began to emit from the inside of the space ship.
Rex Raptor had plugged a guitar into the stereo he had installed in the ship. He let his happiness hang out as he began to sing loudly.
"WILD THING… YOU MAKE MY HEART SING… YOU MAKE EVERYTHING GROOVY! WILD THING!"
He set his guitar down, then plopped down on the chair.
"THIS IS GREAT! NO MORE YUGI! NO MORE JOEY! NO MORE KAIBA! NO MORE PROBST! NO MORE SURVIVOR… AND BEST OF ALL… NO MORE BERNADETTE! THIS IS THE GREATED SHIT THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME!"
Rex kicked his shoes off and grabbed out a highly advanced remote control. "Since I'm in space, the satellite I put in gives me access to EVERY FREAKIN CHANNEL OUT THERE! Time to watch the Playboy channel!"
Rex pushed a button on the remote, and a flat screen TV lowered from the ceiling. Rex then began to flip through channels until he got to the one he wanted.
"OOOHH YEAH!" Rex said as he grabbed his crotch.
An adult movie came on. Rex was red in the face, sweat dropping from all around. A scene with two women taking a bath then came on.
"THIS IS IT! HOT GIRL ON GIRL ACTION, BABY!"
Suddenly, the TV began to get snowy.
"NO! NO! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!"
The screen started to clear up to show a studio set that had a desk, a couch, a window with a fake New York City background in it, and a large potted plant.
"What in the…" Rex said, scratching his head. The announcer of the show came on.
"Hiiiiiii… this is Hikari, and its time for everyone's faaaaaavorite day time talk show, 'Bernadette!'"
Rex began to shake his head in disbelief. "What the flying fuck!"
Bernadette walked on to the set and sat down at the desk. The audience went wild with appluades. Hikari took a seat on the couch. Hikari was a beautiful, dark hair Japanese woman who wore a dress suit… sort of like what you would see female lawyers wearing.
"Hi! Welcome to the very first episode of Bernadette! This is a show where we talk about all the gossip that goes in the lives of celebrities!" Bernadette said happily to the cameras.
"…Oh fuck this shit." Rex said. He started to frantically change the channel with his high tech remote, but something wasn't right. "What… WHAT'S GOING ON! THIS BULLSHIT IS ON EVERY FREAKIN' STATION!"
"Sooooo…" Hikari said. "What's with you and Kobe Bryant?"
"I don't know… we went on one date… then he said he was going to Colorado and he would call me when he got back… and I never talked to him since then…" Bernadette said.
"I think there's another woman involved." Hikari said in an accusing voice.
"Yeah, well whatever. I've got a new man now! The sexiest Duelist in the world!" Bernadette said turning red in the face.
"OH MY GOD!" Hikari squealed. "YOUR DATING MARIK ISHTAR!"
"What! EWWWWWW… NO! You find a purple, short sleeve hooded shirt sexy! EWWWWW!" Bernadette said. "I'm talking about…."
"Yugi? Joey? Kaiba? Oh my god they make me melt!" Hikari said.
"Well, I wont lie to you, I have slept with all three of them…"
"OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the crowd bellowed.
"Your such a slut, Bernadette…" Hikari said. Bernadette turned red in the face.
Rex slapped his forehead and shook his head. "SHES NOT JUST A SLUT! SHES A DIRTY SLUT! Is this the kind of garbage people watch on TV nowadays!"
"ANYWAYS, My Duelist… my boyfriend… is REX RAPTOR!"
The crowd went crazy as a giant picture of Rex dropped down beside Bernadette and Hikari.
Rex's right eye began to twitch from anger.
"But… Rex Raptor… isn't he a washed up loser?" Hikari said.
"KISS MY JURASSIC ASS, YOU BITCH-A-SAUR!" Rex shouted at the tv.
"Well, maybe… but he's MY washed up loser!" Bernadette said.
"I AM NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND YOU FAT UGLY BITCH! I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU!" Rex shouted.
Bernadette pulled out a remote and began showing pictures on the TV.
"Here we are sitting by the beach…" The beach picture was a picture of Rex trying to keep Bernadette a bay with a pitch fork.
"Here we are about to have wild monkey sex in the spa…" The next picture was of Rex jumping out of the spa and Bernadette grabbing his swimming trunks to keep him inside.
"And finally, us confessing our love under the moon light" The final picture was after a tribal council, Bernadette pulling Rex into some bushes.
"Wow… I wish I had a Duelist boyfriend… maybe ill get with Joey!" Hikari said in a seductive voice.
"OH FUCK NO! GET WITH ME! I WOULDN'T WANNA BE SEEN DEAD WITH THAT COW OF A NURSE!" Rex shouted at the TV.
"Well… that's all the time we have for today's show! See you next time!" Bernadette said.
"BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Bernadette and Hikari said as they both waved to the cameras. The audience cheered and clapped as the credits rolled.
This episode of "Bernadette!" was filmed live at the basement of Rex Raptor's space ship!
Rex's eyes widened and his skin turned pale at the mention of this announcement. "You have GOT to be fuckin' kidding me…" Rex said in a monotone voice. Suddenly, a saw blade plundged through the middle of the floor of the space ship. It began to saw a large hole through the floor. Rex shot around as he noticed the floor about to give way.
"No… NO…. NOOOOOOO!" Rex shouted.
The circular part of the floor that was cut fell through, and Bernadette climbed through the hole. "Hey baby! Did you see the show?"
Rex jumped out of his seat and slowly backed up until he was against a wall. "How… HOW DID YOU GET HERE? I THOUGHT THOSE MONKEYS AND I KNOCKED YOUR ASS OUT?"
"I recover fast." Bernadette said. "Now… how about some intergalactic sex?"
"HOW 'BOUT NOT!"
Rex ran towards Bernadette and tried to slide under her legs, but he made it too obvious. As Rex began to slide, Bernadette dropped down, landing on Rex's stomach.
Rex's face turned red, then purple as all Bernadette's weight was on him.
"Cant… Breathe…" Rex struggled to say.
"GOTCHA HONEY! NOW YOURE ALL MINE!" Bernadette said seductively.
"O…K… OK… I… GIVE… UP… I… WANNA… GIVE YOU… YOUR… ENGAGEMENT… RING…" Rex said, about to lose conscienceness.
"OOOOOHHH REXY PIE!" Bernadette squealed. She quickly got of Rex, who quickly jumped up and started gasping for air. As soon as his skin tone turned back to normal, Rex turned to Bernadette. "Ready for your ring!" he asked. She happily nodded.
Rex ran up to her, pulled out a tube of pepper spray, and maced Bernadette. Bernadette dropped to her knees rubbing her eyes.
Rex then grabbed his backpack and guitar and ran to the back of the ship.
"TIL DEATH DO US PART, YOU FUCKIN WOOLY MAMMOTH!"
He pounded the wall, which revealed another small control panel. "I knew I installed this for a reason!" Rex thought.
A small, spherical pod emerged from the back of the space ship. The words "ESCAPE POD" was written on it. Rex jumped inside, and quickly tapped some keys on his keyboard. The escape pod shot out of the ship and back towards earth, closing the back doors of the Dino Rocket.
The escape pod plundged like a comet towards the earth, til It finally landed in an ocean. Rex opened the top and looked around. There was nothing but water in every direction.
"No land… but its not a total loss… there is NO WAY that fat bitch can find me out here!" Rex said happily. Suddenly, shark fins popped out of the water and began to circle Rex's escape pod.
"GREAT GLOBS OF SHIT!" Rex shouted as he dropped back into the pod and shut the doors.
5 days later…
Rex's escape pod landed on a tiny island that had two palm trees and a couple bushes. Rex woke up, then climbed out of the pod and onto the island.
"Why… why me… all I ever wanted was to be… the world's greatest Duelist… and make love to an asian girl… IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK FOR?" Rex cried. He was week from not having anything to eat. He took a few steps, then collapsed on the ground. A few moments later, tropical music began to play. Rex opened his eyes a little. "What… what is that…?"
Suddenly, four beautiful women walked out of the bushes, each wearing a tight, sexy, dress like suit. The colors were red, orange, purple, and blue. They each picked Rex up and sang,
"Wanta, Fanta, don't ya wanta! Wanta Fanta, don't ya wanta!"
"OH MY GOD!" Rex shouted. "THE HEAVENS LOVE ME!"
One of the girls handed Rex an orange soda. Rex opened it, then chugged it, spilling soda all over him. Once he was done, he began dancing with the girls.
Rex….
"I WANTA FANTA… YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IVE BEEN THROUGH!"
Rex…
Rex's vision began to fade. "What… WHAT NOW! NOOOOOO!"
REX! WAKE UP!
Rex's eyes shot open. He was still on the small island, but Jeff Probst stood over him.
"Jeff? JEFF!" Rex shouted. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO! WHERE ARE THE FANTA GIRLS!" Rex shouted.
"Fanta girls? Is that why you kept muttering 'Wanta Fanta'? We thought you had island fever or something." Jeff said.
Rex shook his head.
"Come on. We've got a special Immunity Challege!" Jeff said.
"Hey… if I get voted off… will you guys take me home?" Rex asked.
"Yes." Jeff answered.
"SWEET!" Rex shouted as he ran toward's the rescue boat. Jeff followed him.
"By the way…" Rex asked. "How did you know I was here?"
"Bernadette told us." Jeff said. Bernadette waved at Rex from the rescue boat.
"…PLEASE keep that fat bitch away from me…" Rex said sadly
The Rescue Boat took them back to the beautiful Destiny Island. Once there, Rex was fed and was given a bath. Rex walked out of the Pootiezonga Mansion with a bat in his hand. Joey walked past him.
"Hey Wheeler… have you seen Bernadette?" Rex asked.
"No… and I don't EVER want to see her fat ass!" Joey said back.
"That makes two of us." Rex said.
"By the way," Joey asked. "How was your space voyage?"
"…I don't wanna talk about it…" Rex said as he walked back into the Mansion.
Immunity Challenge! PLAY ALONG EVERYONE! KEEP READING FOR DETAILS!
Location : Middle of the Island : 8:00pm
The usual spot of the Immunity Challenge was different. The CBS stagehands turned it into a game show like set. There was a back drop, a pedestal for the host to stand, and pod like pedestals for the contestants. There was even a small audience that CBS picked up at the Hollywood bus stop.
And now… its time for everyone's favorite Immunity Challenge game show….
At the same time, the audience shouted with the announcer:
WIN, LOSE, OR DROP!
The audience then went crazy with appluades.
Here's your host of this Immunity Challenge, Jeff Probst!
Jeff ran on camera wearing a suit.
"Thank you Johnny! Welcome to Win, Lose, or Drop! This Immunity Challenge is simple! Our Duelists… or Contestants, will answer a series of questions. Each question they get right, their pod moves up a level! However, if they get ONE question wrong, they'll drop, eliminating them from the Immunity Challenge! And now, Johnny, introduce our Survivors!"
Gladly, Jeff! First, he's a high school student from Domino High School, and he's also won both Duelist Kingdom AND Battle City tournaments, and has also been given the title, King of Games, give it up for YUGI MUTO!
The audience went crazy once again as Yami Yugi ran out, waving at everyone, then pointed at the cameras and gave a thumbs up. He then took his position at the first pod on the left.
Next, he's also a student at Domino High School, he placed 2nd at Duelist Kingdom, 4th in Battle City, and he's given himself the title, "The Godfaddah of Games", give it up for JOEY WHEELER!
Joey ran out as the audience went wild with applaudes. He then did a little dance, and walked up and slapped five with Yugi, then stood at the pod next to him.
Next, He hails from West Japan, The Runner up in the Duel Monsters Regional Championships, but unfortunately didn't place in the Battle City OR Duelist Kingdom Tournaments, and he's going out with the lovely nurse, Bernadette, give it up for REX RAPTOR!
The audience cheered and hooted, but not as hard as they did for Yugi and Joey. Rex ran out and snatched the microphone from Jeff.
"I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU GOT THAT CRAP FROM, BUT I AM NOT GOING OUT WITH THAT GORILLA OF A WOMAN!" Rex shouted as he tossed the mic back to Jeff. He walked angrily to the pod next to Joey and crossed his arms.
And finally, he's also a student at Domino High School, he's the President of the Kaiba Corporation, he didn't enter the Duelist Kingdom tournament, but he placed 3rd in Battle City, and he's also "Yugi's Bitch", give it up for SETO KAIBA!
The audience blew up as Kaiba walked on the stage, but rather than do something to appeal to the crowd or take his place at the pod next to Rex, he kept walking. Gruesome sounds of beating was then heard. The audience stopped cheering to look around. Kaiba came back out a few moments later dragging a beaten down Johnny behind him. Johnny was out cold. Kaiba threw Johnny in front of Jeff.
"You need a new announcer." Kaiba said. He walked to his pod, but stopped in front of Yami Yugi. "You see what I did to that jackass? That's going to be you, but a thousand times worse." Kaiba said. He then walked to his pod next to Rex.
"Hey Kaiba!" Yami shouted. Kaiba looked at Yami. Yami pointed his middle finger up at Kaiba.
Jeff looked down at the beaten down Johnny, then kicked him off the camera. Jeff walked to his host pedestal and addressed the crowd.
"We will now begin the Immunity Challenge! And you at home (and reading) can play along too! I'll ask a question like this… in italic… and in bold like so. When you see this, don't scroll down at the answer! Survivors ready?"
Yugi, Joey, Rex, and Kaiba nodded.
"HERE WE GO! The first round will be Multiple Choice! Yugi, we'll start with you!"
"Yugi... who was the very first Duelist kicked off the Island?
Mako Tsunami
Tea Gardner
Maximillion Pegasus
Duke Devlin
"That's to easy." Yami Yugi said. "C! Pegasus!"
"THAT'S CORRECT! YUGI MOVES UP!" Jeff shouted.
The crowd cheered as Yami Yugi's pod began to rise a level
"Joey, next question: what is your name in the Japanese anime and manga?"
Hiroto Honda
Katsuya Jonouchi
Tomoya Hanasaki
Akira Toriyama
Question marks began to rise from Joey's head. "Ummmm… B?" he said.
"CORRECT! JOEY MOVES UP A LEVEL!"
"HOODY HOO!" Joey shouted as his pod rised up to Yugi. "Fancy meeting you up here, Yuge!" Joey said. Yami smiled and shook his head.
"Your turn Rex! Who was the very first person to review this fanfic?
Seto's Sister
Lord Nysakeo
HinaFilipina
MystikDragon
Rex gave a sigh of relief. "Phew… an easy one… A!" He answered.
"CORRECT!" Jeff shouted.
Rex's pod moved up next to Joey and Yugi's.
"Ok, Seto, who is the author of this fanfic?"
Shortstack189
Shortstop189
Shortdick189
Shortstuff189
Kaiba turned and began to snicker. "…short dick… hahahaha!"
"We need an answer, Seto."
Kaiba turned back around. "B." He said.
"CORRECT!"
Kaiba's pod moved upwards to join the others.
"OK, now that the easy questions are out of the way, now the challenge gets harder. The next round will be mixed questions. Good luck, Survivors!" Jeff said.
"Yugi… what was the very first Immunity Challenge?"
"Hmmm…" Yami thought.
"It was the Duel Monster battle!"
"Close enough!" Jeff shouted. Yami's pod went up again.
"Joey, who is the Network that created this show?"
"Uh…"
Joey began to sweat. "Man… why couldn't we just duel…? I'm TERRIBLE at quizzes!"
"Uh… Uuhhh…"
"5 second's Mr. Wheeler…" Jeff said.
"UHHH…"
"JUST SAY SOMETHING, MUTT!" Kaiba shouted.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, KAIBA!" Joey shouted. "ITS CBS, RIGHT?"
"CORRECT!" Jeff shouted.
Joey let out a huge sigh of relief as his pod went up a level.
"Rex, True or False, There was another show before Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters?"
"This is it… this is my chance to get eliminated!" Rex thought. "FALSE!"
A loud buzzer sounded. "WRONG!" Jeff said. Kaiba turned to Rex. "Fuckin' moron."
"In Japan, Yu-Gi-Oh! Was the origin of Yugi and his friends, where they dealt with everyday life… and no surprise, gets tortured by Seto Kaiba." Jeff said as he turned to Kaiba
Kaiba gave a thumbs up to Jeff along with a huge grin.
"The second season is Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters… which is the first season out here in America." Jeff explained.
"Look, I didn't ask for a lecture!" Rex shouted. Suddenly, a hole opened up in the ground and Rex's pod revealed trap doors that were underneath him. Rex dropped down and into the hole.
"WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK?" He screamed as he fell through.
"Theres a reason this is called Win, Lose, or Drop!" Jeff shouted.
"Moving right along, Seto, what is the name of this fanfic?"
Kaiba crossed his arms, bowed his head, and closed his eyes.
"Well… when it first debuted, it was called Survivor! Yu-Gi-Oh! Style, however, it was removed because of a scene with Rex Raptor talking to a girl in a chat room (which is still a stupid reason to remove something) but a month later, it was put up again as Survivor! Duelist Style!… Sooo… Which answer are you looking for!"
"THAT IS CORRECT! AND THAT WAS A TRICK QUESTION TOO! KAIBA MOVES UP TWO LEVELS!"
Kaiba held up his middle finger at Yugi and Joey as his pod rose a level over them.
"THAT KAIBA!" Joey said angrily.
"Don't worry Joey." Yami said. "We'll catch him."
"Yugi… what is the name of Bakura's favorite card?"
Earl of Demise
Hane-Hane
Sangan
Change of Heart
"D. Change of Heart." Yami Yugi said.
"Correct!"
Yami's pod moved up to Kaiba's level.
"Joey…What does Yugi always tell you to believe in?"
Joey smiled. "That's easy! If it weren't for this, I would be nothing…"
"And you still are." Kaiba shouted.
"DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE AND FUCK YOU UP, RICH BOY!" Joey shouted. "Anyways, it's the Heart of the Cards!"
"CORRECT!"
Joey's pod moved up.
"Seto… how tall is Yugi?"
"WHAT THE HELL KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT!" Kaiba shouted.
"Yeah Seto! How tall am I" Yami said with a smile on his face.
"Like I give a shit how tall this sack of crap is! He's what, 5'0?" Kaiba said.
A loud buzzer sounded. "WRONG!" Jeff said.
"WHAT?" Kaiba shouted.
"Yugi is actually 5'3." Jeff said.
"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE… AAAAAHHHHH!" Kaiba shouted as he fell through the trap door under his pod.
Little Yugi's transparent Image appeared before Yami. "That's YOUR height." He said.
"Yeah… and?" Yami said.
"I thought you were 5'2?" Yugi asked.
"No… I thought you knew that I was…"
"Yugi… How many review does this fan fic have so far?"
"5'3" Yami said, finishing his sentence.
A loud buzzer sounded.
"WRONG!" Jeff shouted.
"What! HEY WAIT A SECOND, I DIDN'T MEAN…"
"The correct answer was 54! 54 reviews!"
"WAIT A SECOND PROBST! HANG ON!"
The trap doors opened and Yami Yugi fell through. "YUGI, IM GOING TO GET YOU FOR THIS…!" he shouted.
"Joey Wheeler is the winner!" Jeff shouted.
"HOODY HOO!" Joey said as he did a little victory dance. The audience went crazy with cheers and applauds.
"We'll see you all tonight for our Immunity Challenge! Take care! GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!"
Jeff and Joey waved at the cameras as the audience cheered and applauded.
Tonight's Immunity Challenge was sponcered by…
"DON'T YOU FUCKIN DARE!" Jeff shouted.
Never mind…
Location : Tribal Council : 11:14pm
Yami Yugi, Joey, Rex, and Kaiba holding their torches. stood before Jeff at the Tribal Council.
"Ok guys… were coming down to the wired as you can see… time for another one of you to go. Remember, since Joey won the Immunity Challenge, he cannot be voted off the island." Jeff said.
Rex was estatic. This was his chance to go home and be rid of Bernadette once and for all.
Yugi and Joey each shot smiles at each other.
"Get to voting." Jeff said.
Yami Yugi walked to the vote box, wrote down a name, then came back. Next was Kaiba, then Joey, then Rex.
Jeff pulled out the votes and read them off. "One vote for Kaiba… two votes for Kaiba… one vote for Rex… and one vote for Yugi. Ok Seto, please bring me your torch."
"WHAT? WHAT THE SHIT?" Rex shouted.
Kaiba, not the least bit upset, handed Jeff his torch. Jeff doused the torch and looked at Kaiba.
"Seto, you don't seem to be angry in the least… aren't you gonna… you know… go beserk and threaten to kill Yugi?" Jeff said.
"Nope. Why should I care? I mean, I'm a fuckin Millionaire, I've got one of the biggest companies in the world, so I don't really care about 3 million extra dollars. I make that in a fuckin minute. And as for those cards… well, that's a whole 'nother story. Now if you'll excuse me, ive got a company to run."
Kaiba said as he walked off. He stopped in front of Yugi and whispered. "Just because I'm off the show doesn't mean your ass is off the hook. You'd better sleep with one eye open, bitch."
Yami returned the bone chilling threat by flipping Kaiba off.
Kaiba made a quick phone call on his cell phone, and a Kaiba Corp helicopter appeared a few minutes later. Mokuba was in the passenger seat, waving from above. A rope ladder dropped as Kaiba grabbed hold of it. The Helicopter began to take off with Kaiba still hanging from it.
"YOU BITCHES HAVENT HEARD THE LAST OF ME! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA!"
Soon, Kaiba was out of sight. Jeff, Yugi, Joey, and Rex watched as the Kaiba and the helicopter disappeared into the night. Jeff turned to address Yugi, Joey, and Rex.
"Ok guys, the next episode will sadly be the final episode…"
"YES! OH HALLELUJAH DAY!" Rex shouted.
"So be ready, because tomorrow's challenge will be NOTHING like you've faced before."
Yami Yugi smiled as the familiar Yu-Gi-Oh! Theme music began to play. "Don't worry. We live for this shit! Right Joey?"
"Damn straight!" Joey said.
"IF THIS IS THE LAST EPISODE, THEN IM GONNA GIVE IT MY ALL!" Rex shouted. "MIGHT AS WELL GO OUT WITH A BANG!"
"Alright then, Pootiezongas… please return to your camp. We'll see you tomorrow." Jeff said. They all split up from the Tribal Council.
Location : Pootiezonga Mansion : 2:28am
Yugi, Joey, and Rex was in a deep sleep. Suddenly, the mini-mansion began to shake like crazy. Each of them woke up.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!" Joey shouted.
"JOEY! REX! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!" Yami shouted.
"WAY AHEAD OF YOU!" Rex shouted as he ran out the front door.
Yami, Joey, and Rex ran outside, only to see the Kaiba Corp. Helicopter with a huge claw and chain dangling from the bottom. The claw had a grip on the mansion and lifted it up from the ground.
"KAIBA! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING!" Yami Yugi shouted.
"I'M TAKING MY SHIT BACK! WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?" Kaiba shouted.
The helicopter took off into the distance, hauling the mini mansion behind it.
"That son of a bitch!" Rex shouted. "Where the hell are we going to live now!"
"I am SO going to fuck Kaiba up after I whoop Tristan's ass when we get back to Domino!" Joey shouted.
"Don't worry. Kaiba wont get away with this shit." Yami said as he closed his eyes and held up his Millennium Puzzle.
"MILLENNIUM BLAZE!" Yami shouted. A gold heat ray shot from the center of the Millennium Puzzle and fired at the center of the large chain that was holding Kaiba's Mini Mansion. The chain snapped, sending Kaiba's Mini Mansion plummeting into the ocean. It made a huge splash, which nearly rocked Destiny Island.
"HAHAHAHA! STUPID KAIBA!" Joey shouted.
"That should show his ass!" Rex said.
"SSHH! You're going to miss the best part!" Yami said. He, Joey, and Rex closed their eyes and listen very carefully.
"damn you Yugiiiiiii!" Kaiba shouted in the distance.
Yami, Joey, and Rex began to laugh like crazy.
Yami turned to the cameras. "Always remember kids… he who laughs last…"
"LAUGHS BEST!" Joey and Rex finished.
Kaiba's gone, but don't think we've seen the last of him. As it comes down to Yugi, Joey, and Rex, what kind of surprises will they have in store for us! Find out next episode of Survivor! Outwit, Outplay, Outlast: Duelist Style!
Sadly everybody, Jeff was right. Next Chapter will be the final episode, but that doesn't mean it's the end of the fan fic. I've got a huge Final Episode blowout planned, and it may take a while to write it all, but please bare with me! Theres gonna be like 2, 3, or 4 more Chapters, so stay tuned! Until then, please R&R. I know it was long, but I hope it was worth the wait!