Five Scenes of Hogwarts: A Prologue
By Lady Beatrice
Scene One: The Way He Was
September, 1976. Sixth Year.
They were late for class, but neither one was worried. They both knew that Professor Slughorn doted on Sirius because he was a Black, and besides, together, they were the height of cool. As they took their time making their way towards the dungeons, James asked Sirius something important that had been on his mind since that morning.
"Do you think I look better with facial hair?"
Sirius glanced at the stubble adorning his best friend's face. "Um, no. It makes you look like an escaped convict from Azkaban."
"Really?" James stopped momentarily in front of a suit of armour to check his reflection, scratched his chin thoughtfully, and then shrugged and continued walking. "I think it makes me rather dashing."
Sirius snorted. "If McGonagall sees it wouldn't say it was dashing. She'd say it was vile, then send you to Filch to have it done over with a lawn mower or something."
"She can't tell me off for growing facial hair!" James protested. "Look at Flitwick! Look at Dumbledore for Christ's sake!"
"Somehow, I don't think that argument will hold up well," said Sirius dryly. He suddenly threw an arm up to stop James from walking, and an evil grin spread across his features. "Hey Prongs…look."
James' eyes flicked towards the end of the corridor where Sirius was looking and his face lit up. "An ickle first year!"
"A lost ickle first year."
"Let's give her directions."
"Let's send her to Filch's office. He'd go nuts."
"Nah, let's send her to the Astronomy Tower. Peeves is in there throwing ink pellets again."
"Or we could tell her to go into that dungeon where Hagrid's keeping those giant maggots."
"Hey! I've got an even better idea." James was positively bounding with enthusiasm. "Let's dye her hair blue! She probably won't even notice. And then she'd walk obliviously into her classroom and – "
"Imagine if it were McGonagall's!" Sirius shut his eyes as if to visualize this delightful scene and snickered. "McGonagall would go mental. She'd think the kid had been messing around with human Transfiguration or something."
"That's it then," said James, rubbing his hands together gleefully. "I'll do the actual dying. You can provide the distraction."
"Right on," said Sirius. They went straight into action: James hid behind a suit of armour, ready to creep up behind the girl; in the mean time Sirius approached her with an amiable smile.
"Need help?" he called in a deep and friendly voice.
The girl turned around and looked at him uncertainly. She was short with mousy brown hair tied in a long plait down her back, and seemed nervous and embarrassed at being addressed by a sixth year.
"Y-yes," she said hesitantly. "I need to go to Transfiguration but the door I usually take seems to have vanished…"
"Yes, that sometimes happens on Tuesdays," said Sirius kindly, and even James, who had seen him in action more times than he could count, had to admire the way he was able to charm the girl into trusting him so quickly; she had stopped looking nervous and had now gone fluttery over Sirius' good looks and the attention he was paying her. "All you have to do is turn left at the end of this corridor…"
Sirius moved around to point it out and the girl shifted to follow his direction, her back now turned towards James.
"…then right past that statue of Codswallody the Brave…"
James crept out from behind the armour and moved slowly behind the girl, his wand arm outstretched.
"…then up two flights of stairs, right again halfway down the Charms corridor then turn left at the tapestry of the Drunken Dame…"
He was barely a foot away from her now.
"…you'll find a secret passage that'll take you up near Sprout's office…"
James flicked his wand, and thought Allegramen –
Suddenly, there was a flash of light and he was blasted back off his feet into the wall.
"Oof!" he gasped; the first year girl turned around and shrieked in alarm, Sirius gave a shout; but before James could do anything there was another flash of light and he was hit by a second hex which left him winded and gasping in a heap on the floor.
"Five points from Gryffindor, Potter."
With effort, James raised his head looked up groggily from the ground to see who it was.
Lily Evans was standing over him, wand outstretched and a disdainful expression on her face. Sirius let out a bark of laughter. The first year girl looked traumatized.
"Off you go to your class then. Go on," Lily said to the girl, who immediately scuttled off, casting a frightened look over her shoulder. "And as for you two," she said, turning back to James and Sirius, "I'm reporting you both."
James was so angry he wanted to curse her, but couldn't move his mouth because the hex hadn't worn off.
"Aw, come on, Evans – " Sirius began, "we haven't done anything– "
"You were going to," Lily interjected. "And she was a first year…could you stoop any lower?"
James' jaw worked loose at last.
"What did you have to hex me for?" he demanded furiously.
"You were going to dye her hair blue! Did you expect me to just stand there and let it happen?"
"Well, why didn't you get Sirius as well then?"
"Because I was listening on the stairs and it was your idea!"
Lily's green eyes were narrowed and sparks were shooting from her wand. Angry as he was, James couldn't help but feel a jolt of attraction as he got to his feet: Evans was hot when she was mad.
"Get to class!" she snapped. "You're late."
"So are you, Prefect Evans."
"I had a meeting with Professor Dumbledore!" Lily hoisted her bag onto her shoulder and tossed her hair behind her shoulder, still glaring. "Now move, or I'll burn that stubble off your face. You'll look less like an escaped convict at any rate."
Sirius snorted with laughter. James' face burned.
"Yeah, well…what about you?" he shot back.
Lily raised her eyebrows. "What about me?"
James found himself staring at a girl who had never looked anything less than perfect. "Your hair's… red. Real red," he added lamely.
Somehow, this brilliant come back did not cause Lily to break down into tears.
"You really are a prat," she said, unimpressed, and flounced down the corridor ahead of them, long hair swinging behind her. James and Sirius followed at a distance.
"That was brilliant, James," said Sirius, chuckling. "'Your hair's red…real red.' That's awful. Even Peter could have come up with something better."
James didn't answer, he had barely listened. He was watching how Lily's hair caught the glow off the torch light as she moved on towards the dungeons, her hips swinging…she had a nice ass…
Before he could stop himself, James found himself calling after her.
"Hey – Evans! Hogsmeade trip on Halloween! Wanna go with me?"
Lily stopped at the door of the Potions room, one hand on the door knob, and turned around to face him.
"For the forty-seventh time Potter...no!"
She pushed the door open and walked in.
"Forty-seven," said Sirius, looking mildly impressed. "It's getting quite humiliating, isn't it, James? Maybe you should try asking someone else out."
James shrugged non-commitedly; he had always been inexplicably obsessed with Lily Evans, who was possibly the only female in Hogwarts who didn't find him remotely attractive. Sirius was right though…being constantly turned down by her was becoming downright embarrassing.
They followed Lily into the dungeon.
"You're late boys," said Slughorn reprovingly as they walked in. "Five points from…Sirius my boy!" Slughorn beamed at the sight of him. "Take a seat! We're working in pairs today and as Severus here doesn't have a partner, you can work with him! James, you're with Miss Evans."
Lily protested at once. "But sir – "
"Ah, Lily," he said, waggling his finger. "Don't deny Mr. Potter here the chance to seduce you with that dashing new-found facial hair of his. Off you go, then!"
It was hard to say who was angrier, Lily or Snape. Snape cast Sirius a look of purest loathing as he slid into the seat beside him; James, on the other hand, moved as close as he could to Lily without being accused of sexual harassment.
"Why do you hate me, Evans?"
Lily lit a fire under her cauldron, cursing under her breath.
"Is it my glasses? My hair? The fact that you're secretly attracted to me but too afraid to admit it?"
Lily was so shocked by this last statement she missed the cutting board and accidentally beheaded a Flobberworm.
"Me? Attracted to you?" she scoffed. "In your dreams, Potter."
"Come on. You must be. I mean, I'm the Quidditch captain!"
"You may find it hard to believe, but I don't like people just for their Quidditch abilities. Add the Salamander blood."
James thought for a moment. "So why do you hate me?"
"Because," said Lily, "you're a great, bullying prat. Now add the Salamander blood!"
"But – "
"Now!"
James added it. "But then," he continued, picking up his pestle and beginning to pound scarab beetles, "I'm not really a bully. I was just having a bit of fun. You need to lighten up, Lily."
"Call hexing a first year fun? You need to stir the potion three times clockwise."
"It would have been – "
"Stir the potion, Potter!"
James stirred it. "It would have been funny," he said again. Lily snorted.
"What, humiliating a little girl? And what about Snape?"
"What about Snape?" James demanded.
"You're always picking on him. For no reason! Add the – "
But James had already done it. Narrowing her eyes suspiciously at him, Lily turned back to chopping her Tandy roots. James leaned in closer to her.
"It's mutual between Snape and me. I wouldn't expect you to understand."
Lily rolled her eyes. "Whatever."
"Look," James persisted, "if I promise to stop hexing him…will you go out with me?"
"Sure."
Somehow, James missed the sarcasm.
"Really?" he said, taken aback.
"James," said Lily haughtily, "I wouldn't go out with you if it were a choice between you and Hagrid's giant maggots. I wouldn't go out with you if it were a choice between you and Snape."
"You'd go out with Snape over me?" said James revolted. "Evans…that's just…" but Lily had finally snapped.
"Potter," she said. "If you ever ask me out again, you will be very, very, sorry."
She emptied the entire contents of her bubbling cauldron over James' head and stormed out of the dungeon. There was a stunned silence as the entire Potions class watched a drenched James spluttering and wiping Salamander blood out of his eyes. Some people gasped. A few people applauded. Everyone simultaneously turned back to Slughorn, expecting him to go mad, but after a few more stunned seconds, he burst into raucous laughter.
"Ah, James," he said, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes, "she's a little spitfire, that one. You'll have to do more than grow a little stubble to get the best of her."
"That was brilliant, Lily."
It was dinner time, and Lily's best friend, Catherine Swan was still chuckling as she helped herself to the potatoes.
Lily smiled ruefully. "I didn't really mean to…he just made me so mad..." she sighed. "Was he very badly hurt?"
"Nah…a few hives and a couple of burns. Sirius took him up to the hospital wing although I don't know how he managed; he was laughing fit to burst. He's probably still up there." Cate pushed her long, blonde hair out of her face and smirked. "You should visit him."
"I doubt I'd be welcome," Lily said darkly. Then she sighed. "Why's he such a prat?"
Cate shrugged. "Oh, you know…late developer…although technically, he should have already grown out of the latency stage years ago…Freud's theory," Cate added, catching the puzzled look on Lily's face.
"How d'you know about Freud?" Lily demanded.
"My dad," said Cate simply. "You know he was a Muggle – well, he was a psychologist before he married my mum. He's always going on about Freud and his developmental theory."
"Go on then."
"It's like this," Cate explained. "We all go through stages as we grow up. When we're about two or three, we go through what's called the anal phase – that's when toddlers become obsessed with their bowels and stuff – gross I know," she added as Lily looked revolted. "The point is, everyone grows out of that stage by the time we're about four. But when we hit puberty, that's when everything changes. Girls react to it by throwing themselves into heterosexual relationships; boys are a little slower and instead of going forward regress to an earlier phase."
Lily was fascinated.
"So what you're saying," she said, "is that Potter's still stuck at that stage where he finds farts and toilet humour funny?"
"Exactly," Cate said. "Although like I said, eventually they're meant to grow out of it. I have my doubts about some of them though. See exhibit A."
She gestured towards the Hufflepuff table; Lily glanced over a saw a second year mashing potato into someone's hair while all his friends cheered. Over at the Ravenclaw table, Kelvin Jones was belching loudly and rubbing his stomach, and a few chairs from Lily, Sirius Black was talking with his mouth full.
"Hey Peter…do you like sea food?" he asked. Peter nodded eagerly. Sirius opened his mouth wide, baring a revolting display of half-chewed baby corn and beetroot. "See…food…get it?" Peter choked on a sausage end as he snorted with laughter; Remus looked revolted and turned away from the sickening sight. Catching the two girls staring, he smiled apologetically, and went back to the conversation after making sure that Sirius' mouth was tightly shut first.
"Well, at least there's hope for one of them," said Lily, turning back to her dinner which somehow didn't look quite as appetizing.
Cate took a spoonful of pavlova. "You know…Potter isn't all that bad."
Lily frowned. "What d'you mean?"
"I mean, he's only really awful around you because he likes you so much."
"Come off it!" Lily scoffed.
"No, really," Cate insisted. "Think about it, he wouldn't be so popular if all he did was bully people. He can be a bit arrogant, but he's funny as well…and," Cate shrugged. "I like him."
Lily spluttered. "You – come on – "
"Give him a chance. It won't kill you."
The look on Lily's face was so disbelieving, Cate choked on her pumpkin juice laughing.
Later, Lily couldn't think what possessed her to do it. It might have been because she felt responsible for James being stuck in the hospital wing, or it could have been the conversation she'd had with Cate during dinner. Whatever the reason, at eight o'clock that evening Lily found herself walking towards the hospital wing, a bowl of grapes in one hand and a book on Quidditch in the other.
James looked so astonished to see her, Lily almost liked him.
"Come to hex me again?" he asked.
"No." There was an awkward silence in which Lily wondered again why she had come. "I bought you a book." She held it out to him. James glanced at the cover.
"I've read it."
"Oh." Lily's hand dropped. "Grapes?" she offered.
James looked slightly bemused. "Add it to the pile," he said, gesturing to his bedside table where it looked like the whole of Gryffindor house and bought him grapes.
Feeling foolish, she set her bowl down with the others.
"So, um…how are you doing?" she asked without looking at him.
"About as well as could be expected after having a cauldron of half-made antidote thrown on me."
"Yes, well…about that…" Lily's voice trailed off. Just apologize, she thought to herself. James waited.
"Well?" he prompted after a while.
Lily couldn't bring herself to do it. "Well…nothing."
They looked at each other for a long moment. For some reason, Lily blushed.
"Bye, then," she said, turning away.
"Hey Evans," James called, just she reached the door.
"What?" she said, turning back.
James smirked that arrogant smirk Lily loathed so much. "Wanna go to Hogsmeade with me?"
Lily was so stunned that for a few moments, she could only splutter wordlessly. "I was right the first time," she managed at last. "You really are a prat."
And with that, she marched out the door, slamming it shut behind her.
END SCENE 1
A/N: Hi everyone –
The plan was that I was going to write an L/J story post-Hogwarts, but realized it wouldn't really make any sense if people didn't know the back story behind it all. Hence Five Scenes, obviously there'll be four more parts to this one.
Tell me what you think…if you like it, I'll continue. If you dislike it, I'll continue with it anyway. Ha.
PEACE OUT.
Lady Beatrice.