This is it, everyone. This is the final chapter. I thank you for your support and I hope you all enjoy! Take care!
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, nor do I own Survivor.
16 Duelists started on the Island…
(Cameras shows all the Duelists that were on the Island, each with X's across their pictures, except for Yugi and Joey's. Rex is flipping off the camera.)
But now it all comes down to two…
(Shows Yugi and Joey facing each other in one of those split screen shots)
Find out the winner on the conclusion of…
Survivor! Outwit, Outplay, Outlast! Duelist Style!
A large group of people are in a movie theater. The crappy Movietunes (or whatever the hell that is) music has finally ended and the coming attractions are showing. Finally, one particular commercial came on… Which shows Yami Yugi in a field like area… (think of the Sogen card!)
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! This is your friend, Yugi, reminding you to watch the final episode of Survivor this week! It's sure to be a blast when I battle it out with my best friend Joey Wheeler to find out who the true Survivor is… of course we all know who that will be… just look at the name of the show! So yeah, Survivor! Duelist Style! This week at 8pm! And now, your regularly scheduled movie!"
Suddenly, a stage hand comes on stage and whispers something in Yami's ear.
"Oh (EXPLETIVE DELETED) NO! If you think I'm doing that, your out your (EXPLETIVE DELETED) MIND!" Yami shouted.
"But Yugi… we are interrupting their movie time… plus this was part of the agreement."
"OH SON OF A (EXPLETIVE DELETED)! FINE! I SWEAR THE (EXPLETIVE DELETED) THINGS I DO FOR THESE (EXPLETIVE DELETED) (EXPLETIVE DELETED) PEOPLE! THEY NEED TO GET UP FROM THAT (EXPLETIVE DELETED) COUCH AND GET A (EXPLETIVE DELETED) (EXPLETIVE DELETED) (EXPLETIVE DELETED) LIFE!" Yami angrily shouted as he put on a top hat and a tuxedo.
"You (EXPLETIVE DELETED) Ready!" Yami said. Soon, men dressed up as a cup of soda, a bag of popcorn, a hot dog, a candy bar, and a cup of nachos came on the camera.
"All together now!"
Yami and the men in the food costumes began doing a little walking dance, singing:
"Let's go out to the snack bar! Lets go out to the snack bar! Let's go out to the snack bar, and have ourselves a snack!"
They all stopped in front of a concession stand… a concession stand in the middle of a field. Yami turned and smiled at the cameras.
"The movies are always better with popcorn, a drink, and Sour Patch Kids! So don't forget to visit the concession stand before the movie starts for a wide selection of foods!
Yami continued smiling at the cameras for a minute, then stopped.
"Are we done? GOOD! (EXPLETIVE DELETED) (EXPLETIVE DELETED) promotional videos! I'm pretty sure those fat (EXPLETIVE DELETED) are gonna visit that damn concession stand!"
And soon, The movie started! Rather than being mad about Yami's foul mouth, the entire audience was laughing the whole time.
The Survivor producer sat at the back of the theater. "That whole thing took 150 takes… and THAT was the best one!"
Location : Destiny Island : 11:34am
Joey was having a huge fish breakfast, until he was interrupted by Jeff.
"Hey Joey! You're susposed to do a promotional commercial! Yugi already did his! Where's yours?" Jeff asked.
"Awww, get the dick out of ya ass, Probst! I didn't do a commercial. I did a music video." Joey responded.
"… Excuse me?" Jeff said.
"Yeah. My promotion is a music video!" Joey said.
"NO! I MEAN I DO NOT HAVE A DICK IN MY ASS!" Jeff shouted.
"Whateva." Joey said.
"Anyways, YOU did a music video… about Survivor?" Jeff said.
"Yes… and no… well… mostly no…" Joey responded.
"Oh son of a… do I DARE ask what you did?" Jeff moaned.
Joey pulled out a small TV, then turned it on.
"You're watching M.T.V.!" Came the voice on the T.V.
Jeff slapped his forehead. "JOEY, YOU DIDN'T!"
"SHHH!" Joey said.
"And now, the newest video from Kanye West… featuring Joey Wheeler!"
Jeff shook his head in disbelief.
The video came on the T.V. starting out with Joey. He bagan to sing:
She
take my money when I'm in need
Yea she's a trifflin friend
indeed
Oh she's a gold digga way over town
That dig's on me
The next scene showed Joey dancing next to Kanye West… now to make this funny, Imagine Joey Wheeler… dancing to hip hop music.
(The parts where Joey sings are in parenthesis… like these ( ), and the ones without is Kanye.)
(She
takes my money)
Now I aint sayin she a gold digger (When I'm
Need)
But she aint messin wit no broke (EXPLETIVE
DELETED)
(She takes my money)
Now I aint sayin
she a gold digger (When I'm need)
but she aint messin wit no broke
(EXPLETIVE DELETED)
get
down girl gone head get down (I gotta leave)
get down girl gone
head get down (I gotta leave)
get down girl gone head get down (I
gotta leave)
get down girl gone head
Jeff suddenly turned the T.V. off. "Wheeler, this time you've gone too far." He said.
"HEY TURN THAT SHIT BACK ON!" Joey shouted. "THIS VIDEO IS THE BOMB-DIZZY"
Jeff shook his head. "Just one more day of this shit, Jeff… just one more fuckin day…"
Location : Destiny Island : Beach : 3:00pm
Yami and Joey stood on the beach with Jeff. They all looked out into the ocean.
Jeff sighed. "Well guys… this is it… We've had some good times on this show… and some bad ones… most of them bad…"
Flashback…
Episode 1 : And So It Begins
Yami Yugi leans forward and turns to his team. "Does everybody remember the special Pootietang Strategy?" Each member of the Pootietang tribe nodded their heads with huge smirks on their faces. Yami Yugi then looked at Kaiba with his trademark clever smirk. Kaiba however just cocked his eyebrow. "Special Pootietang Strategy? I don't know what kind of lame ass strategy he came up with in that feeble little brain of his, but there's NO WAY it'll stand up to my Blue-Eyes White Dragon!"
"DUEL!"
Odion draws. "I SUMMON MYSTICAL BEAST SERKET!"
Marik draws. "I SUMMON THE WINGED DRAGON OF…"
Jeff runs up to Marik and slaps the God Card out of his hand. "Eygptian God Cards are strictly forbidden in this Challenge! Marik stamped his foot in the sand. "ARE YOU FUCKIN' KIDDIN' ME? WHAT THE HELL KIND OF GAY ASS DUEL IS THIS?" Jeff turned and walked away, completely ignoring Marik. "Continue the challenge!" Marik pulls out his Millennium Rod. "I should take control of your mind and have you cut your own friggin nuts off!" He put his rod away and draws his card. "I FUCKIN' SUMMON REVIVAL JAM!"
Bonz draws. "I SUMMON SNAKE HAIR!""
Weevil draws. "I SUMMON INSECT QUEEN!"
Rex draws. "I SUMMON TWO-HEADED KING REX!"
Pegasus draws. "I SUMMON BLUE-EYES TOON DRA—"
Kaiba interrupts him in mid-summon. "OH THE DAMN YOU ARE! YOU BETTER PUT THAT SHIT BACK BEFORE I SHOVE MY FOUR HUNDRED DOLLAR BOOT UP YOUR ASS!" Pegasus turns to Kabia. "You promise?" he said, smiling. Kaiba simply shook his head, giving him a cold stare. "Very well… you win Kaiba-boy. I SUMMON RELINQUISHED!" Rex shook his head. "You created this shit and THAT'S the best you can come up with?"
Mokuba draws. "I SUMMON THREE-HEADED GEEDO!"
Kaiba draws. "AND I SUMMON THE BLUE-EYES WHITE DRAGON!"
Jeff stared at the army of duel monsters. "WHAT AN ARMY? HOW WILL THE POOTIETANG TRIBE RETAILIATE!"
Mako draws. "I SUMMON LEGENDARY FISHERMAN!"
Mai draws. "I SUMMON HARPY'S PET DRAGON!"
Duke draws. "I SUMMON ORGOTH THE RELENTLESS!"
Bakura draws. "I SUMMON RIGHT LEG OF THE FORBIDDEN ONE!"
Tea draws. "I SUMMON RIGHT ARM OF THE FORBIDDEN ONE!"
Tristan draws. "I SUMMON LEFT LEG OF THE FORBIDDEN ONE!"
Joey draws. "I SUMMON LEFT ARM OF THE FORBIDDEN ONE!"
Yugi draws. "AND I SUMMON EXODIA… THE FORBIDDEN ONE!"
Kaiba's eyes widened. "NO WAY! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKIN KIDDING ME!" Yugi pointed towards the Gazonga Tribe.
"EXODIA… OBLITERATE!"
And with that, Exodia shot out a huge beam, completely destroying all the Gazonga Tribe's monsters and sending each member flying completely off camera. Jeff stared at the scene in total amazement.
"Uhh….. THE POOTIETANG TRIBE WINS THE IMMUNITY CHALLENGE!"
Each team member hooted and hollered as they celebrated their victory. Jeft was then seen hauling ass towards where the Gazonga Tribe landed. "Ok Gazongas, meet back at the campsite for a tribal meeting to decided who gets voted off." Kaiba got up, pissed off. "Yugi.. one of these days, I am going to fuck you up… just really FUCK YOU UP!" Odion was still face down in the dirt. "Medic…"
Scene shifts…
Episode 4 : Sabotage!
Jeff is interrogating Yugi. Jeff is pacing around the hut with Yugi sitting on a log with his legs crossed, cool as a cucumber.
Jeff: Ok Yugi! Be honest… did you and your tribe trash the Gazonga Mansion?
Yami Yugi: (a fake, innocent look on his face) Jeff! I would NEVER do a thing like that! Sure, me and Kaiba have had our differences, but I can assure you that me and my tribe had NOTHING to do with the whole spray paint and limo being keyed incident.
Jeff: Hmmm… that's odd… because I never mentioned the spray paint… the limo being keyed.
Yami Yugi: … shit… (quickly holds up the Millennium Puzzle) This bad boy gives me the ability to see what goes on around this island. So I know all about what happened to the Gazonga Mansion!
Jeff: funny… doesn't the Millennium Necklace gives the user that abili…
Yugi reaches into his back pocket and quickly whipped out the Millennium Necklace and flashed it in front of Jeff's face.
Jeff: ok… well that still doesn't explain the fact that "Pootietang Rules" was tagged on the side of the house.
An empty can of spray paint suddenly rolled out from under Yugi's bed, but he quickly shoved it back under with his foot.
Yami Yugi: … fuck this shit… I'm outta here!
The Millenium Puzzle flashed, and young Yugi was standing there.
Yugi: It was all Duke! He wanted to mess with Kaiba's head! He was the one who tripped the wire!
Jeff: ok, thank you Yugi. I knew your honesty would get the best of you.
As Jeff left the hut, Yami Yugi's transparent image appeared next to Yugi.
Yami Yugi: You know… you probably just fucked Duke over
Yugi: So? He shouldn't be such a stupid bitch.
Episode 6: Vital Idol
High in a tree, Kaiba was dressed in camaflauged clothing and wore the camaflauged face paint. He was holding a sniper rifle and was shooting at Yugi throughout his performance!
Kaiba: Fuckin bitch! Why don't you stay still?
Kaiba looked through the scope to see that Yugi was nowhere in sight.
Kaiba: Son of a motherless bitch! Where the fuck did he go this time!
He caught a glimpse of Noah in the scope. A HUGE, evil smile shot across his face.
Kaiba: SOMEBODY IS FUCKIN EATIN LEAD TONIGHT!
Back on the stage…
Jeff: Ladies, now its time for you to pick the winner! Give it up for… the Gazonga Tribe!
The fan girls go crazy with applauds and shouts
Jeff: and now, give it up for… The Pootietang tribe!
The fan girls go crazy with applauds and shouts once again. However, a huge bullet whizzed by and caught Noah right in the head! He feel down dead. Everyone gasped.
Joey: OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED NOAH!
Tristan: YOU BASTARDS!
Jeff: Only one person could have done this… KAIBA!
Kaiba hid in the tree.
Jeff: Sorry Gazongas, but because your team captain killed a member of the opposite team… THE POOTIETANG TRIBE WINS THE IMMUNITY!
The fan girls blow up as the sounds of cheering and shouting is heard throughout Destiny Island.
Rex: OH MY GOD! THAT'S BULLSHIT!
Mokuba: Yeah, you have no proof that my brother did this!
Jeff took out a pair of tongs, then turned Noah's dead body over, and pulled the bullet out of his head. He took out a rag and wiped the blood off the bullet to reveal a Kaiba Corp. Logo on the bullet.
Mokuba: (sighing) Never mind…
Scene shifts back to Jeff, Yami, and Joey.
"Yeah… those were some good times!" Joey laughed.
"It's a damn shame it has to end today." Yami said.
"Hallelujah day…" Jeff said.
"Oh shut up, Probst! Don't act like you didn't have fun with us!" Joey said.
Flashback…
Episode 13 : New Year's Rockin' Eve
The Pootiezongas and Jeff were hungover. They could barely stand up straight.
"Well… that was one hell of a New Years huh?" Jeff asked.
"Jeff… why cant you be cool like that all the time?" Joey asked.
"Because this wouldn't be Survivor, now would it?" Jeff said. "Now I know its early… but I'm so fuckin hungover its not even funny… so lets get this Tribal Council out the way to I can go back to bed…"
Rex held a gun to his head.
"Rex! What the hell are you doing!" Marik said.
"I fuckin made out with Bernadette… Ever since that damn ball dropped, AND the whole way home! I want to be put out of my fuckin misery…"
"But you finally had sex last night, man…!"
Rex lowered the gun. "Good point."
End
"Ok… so there were a FEW good times with you guys." Jeff said. "But dammit Yugi! You and Kaiba drove me up the wall!"
Yami looked away and up into the sky. "Whatever could you mean?" He said innocently.
Flashback…
Episode 5 : Rumble in the Jungle
Yami Yugi: That's a fuckin automobile!
At the EXACT moment Yami Yugi spoke, he whipped around and saw a camoflauge colored 2003 Safari Nissan Jeep tear out of the brush and was heading straight toward him! Yami Yugi dove out of the way just in the nick of time as the Jeep ALMOST clipped him! The person driving the Jeep was… guess! Come on, I think we all know who that is! Yep! It was Espa Roba! PSYCHE! It was Seto Kaiba! Kaiba looked in his rear view mirror to see Yami stagger to his feet.
Kaiba: Oh no the fuck your not! You aren't getting off the hook that easy you shit stain!
Kaiba pulled the parking brake and frantically turned the wheel, making the Jeep do 3 or 4 sets of donuts til it was facing Yami again. He released the brake and took off at Yami again with the speedometer going up at a fast rate.
Yami Yugi: (shaking his head) KAIBA! YOU BASTARD! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?
Again, Yami dove out of the way, just in the nick of time. Kaiba let out a battle cry the whole time as he tried to run Yami over. Each time he missed, he used his donut technique until he was perfectly aligned with Yami, then took off after him again. Kaiba rolled down his window on the 4th attempt.
Kaiba: I told you I was gonna kill your ass, didn't I Yugi! What do you think of my Destruction Derby of Doom!
Yami Yugi: YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU WANNA TAKE THIS SHIT UP A LEVEL?
Kaiba: YES I DO, ASS FACE!
Kaiba repeated his donut tactic, but instead of aligning himself with Yami, he kept driving, then flipped a bitch (that's a U-turn for those of you who don't know the lingo) and drove at Yamii. This time, he rolled down his window and pointed a gun at him and began firing like crazy! Yami ran as fast as he could, diving every other step to dodge bullets AND and a crazed Jeep. Yami, starting to get tired, jumped into the bushes for safety.
Kaiba: NO YOU DON'T BITCH! YOU ARENT GETTING AWAY THAT EASILY!
Kaiba turned on some special X-Ray headlights, which allowed him to look through the bushes and trees! He saw Yami, crotched behind a boulder.
Kaiba: Your mine you goat rapist!
The Jeep took off into the bushes, mowing shit down as it went through. Yami waited til Kaiba was good and close enough, then, when the time was right, nimbily climbed up a tree, then dived down on Kaiba's jeep, holding 2 giant tree branches with sharp pointed in the end. Yami landed hard on the hood of the jeep as he drove the sharp points of the tree brances into it. The hood started to smoke. Kaiba was turning the steering wheel like a mad man, trying to shake Yugi off.
Kaiba: Get your kamikaze ass off my car so I can run your bitch ass over!
Yami Yugi: (pointing his middle finger up at Kaiba)
Yami waited til the car was just about back in the middle of the dirt field, when he pulled out some dynamite (where he got dynamite from is beyond me), pulled out one of the tree branches, lit the dynamite fuse, and dropped it into the hole. Kaiba shook his head in disgust as he saw what Yami did.
Kaiba: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!
Kaiba took off his seatbelt, opened the car door, and jumped out and defensively rolled on the ground. Yami Yugi did the same as he let of of the remaining tree branch. Both Yami and Kaiba ran like their lives depended on it (which it DID) as the Jeep drove into the middle of the field made an explosion so big it damn there rocked Destiny Island!
Episode 15 : Win, Lose, or Drop!
In one of the trailors on at the CBS Campsite, Jeff tapped his fingers on the desk he was sitting at. He had a disgruntled look on his face as the explosion finally cleared the sky, followed by a burned helicopter dropping to the island.
"Two more days… just TWO MORE DAYS of this bullshit and I can go home!" he said. "What the fuck are they gonna do next, blow up half the island!"
Suddenly, a stagehand busted into Jeff's trailor. "Mr. Probst! Were not sure how it happened, but there's a a giant chunk of the island missing!"
Jeff slapped his forehead. "Just… get…out!"
END
"… Hey, he started it." Yami said.
"Well anyways… that's enough for our trip down memory lane. Now it's time for your final Immunity Challenge! This one will decide who the King of Survivor is!" Jeff announced.
"Yeah! The King of Games, BIATCH!" Yami said.
"Dream on!" Joey said.
"And now, your final challenge!" Jeff said. A pick-up truck backed onto the beach and dropped off two large model kits. Then it drove back into the jungle.
"Inside those boxes are two model kits for real life speed boats! Your challenge… put those boats together, then drive the millions of miles BACK to Domino Pier…"
The scene suddenly shifts to Domino Pier, where tons of people where standing and cheering. There was a huge banner that was hung that read, "Survivor! Duelist Style!" and among those people were all the Duelists that were voted off the island. Rex was deparately looking for the REAL Bernadette. The whole area looked like the finish line of a big boat race.
"… Where the winner will be crowned the ultimate survivor! And you will also get that treasure trove of rare cards, AND the 3 million dollars!" Jeff announced. He then turned to the cameras. "Where the audience at the pier is watching live via satellite! These model kits are brought to us by the Kame Game Store… for your entertainment needs, who better to satisfy your urges than Grandpa Muto!" Jeff then turned away from the cameras. "That just sounds SO WRONG!"
Yami and Joey looked at each other, then nodded. Jeff pulled out a hand gun and pointed it into the sky.
"SURVIVORS READY?" he shouted.
Yami and Joey crotched down on one knee with their hands in the sand, as if they were about to run a 100 Yard Dash.
Jeff fired the gun. "GO!"
Yami and Joey took off running towards the large boxes. They tore it open and dumped out all the parts and immediately went to work.
"This is MY time to shine, Pharaoh! Remember, I used to put these together all the time before I put the Millennium Puzzle together!" little Yugi said.
"OOHH yeah… I forgot how big of a nerd you used to be before I came along. Now look at all the damn friends you got."
"YOU KNOW WHAT! FUCK YOU! PUT THAT DAMN KIT TOGETHER YOURSELF!" Yugi shouted from the puzzle.
"Come on, don't be like that. You KNOW I was just playin'!" Yami said.
"FUCK YOU!"
"Fine! I don't need you anyawys! I can put this shit together myself!" Yami said. 10 minutes past, and Yami has gotten nowhere, he furiously tossed the pieces around.
"GOD DAMMIT! HOW DO YOU PUT THIS SHIT TOGETHER!" Yami shouted. Little Yugi's transparent image appeared next to him, with a huge grin on his face. Yami gave him an angered look. "Oh you are just LOVING this, aren't you!" he said.
"Damn straight!" Yugi responded.
Joey, however, was close to finishing. "Sweet! Now all I have to do is put the engine in and I'm off this bitch! See you at the finish line, Yuge!" Joey dragged his speed boat towards a wagon. His boat was blue with a picture of the Flame Swordsman on the front. The back was a little decal of a hand flipping the bird.
"DAMMIT!" Yami shouted. "Joey's gonna beat us! I haven't even gotten a piece put together!" He then turned to Little Yugi.
"I am SO sorry! If it makes you feel any better, if it weren't for you, I would still be stuck in that puzzle." Yami said.
"Say it. You know what I wanna hear." Yugi responded.
"Oh fuck no."
"Then enjoy second place!"
"… I hate you…" Yami said in a mono tone. "Yugi… I'm nothing without you. You're Michael Jackson, I'm Tito…"
Yugi began to bust up laughing! "OK! OK! YOU'VE SUFFERED ENOUGH! HAHAHAHA!"
"…Monkey bitch…" Yami muttered as the Millennium Puzzle flashed. Little Yugi went straight to work as he quickly assembled his speed boat. His boat was red with a picture of the Dark Magician on the front, and the back had a licence plate that said, "PIMP JUICE".
"Quickly! NOW WE HAVE TO GET THIS TO THE WATER, THEN PUT THE ENGINE INSIDE!" Yami shouted from the puzzle.
"NO REALLY! YA THINK!" Yugi said back. Yami slapped Yugi upside his head, then they both put their speed boat onto their wagon and quickly wheeled it out to the ocean, where their engine and Joey was waiting.
"See you at the finish line, bitches!" Joey shouted as he sped off into the ocean.
"FUCK!" Yami said. "PUT THAT SHIT IN THERE! HURRY!" Yugi tried to get the engine, but was too weak to get it.
"Um… little help?" Yugi asked.
Yami shook his head. "Weak ass bitch…"
The two duelists grabbed the engine and walked it over to the speed boat, where Yami quickly opened the top and the dropped it inside. Yugi hooked up all the necessary parts. Yami started the boat.
"It worked! Get your little ass back in the puzzle!" Yami shouted.
"WHAT? NO! I WANNA DRIVE!" Yugi said.
Yami snapped. He jumped out the boat and grabbed Yugi by his collar. "NOW LISTEN TO ME YOU LITTLE FUCK… I'VE PUT UP WITH YOUR BITCHING… YOUR DEMANDS… AND I'M FUCKIN' SICK OF IT! I AM TRYING TO WIN THIS SHIT, AND JOEY HAS A BIG ASS LEAD OVER US ALL THANKS TO YOUR DAMN IMMATURITY! NOW YOU GET YOUR ASS BACK IN THAT PUZZLE, AND IF I HEAR SO MUCH AS A PEEP OUT OF YOU, I'M GOING TO SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS, THE WATER IN MY KNEE WILL QUINCH YOUR THRIST!"
A tear rolled down Yugi's cheek. "You… YOU YELLED AT ME!"
"DAMMIT!"
Yami grabbed the Millennium Puzzle, where it somehow sucked Yugi back inside. He quickly jumped into the boat and took off into the ocean. He hydroplaned furiously, trying to catch up to Joey.
"OF ALL THE HIKARIS IN THIS DAMN WORLD, I GET STUCK WITH THIS MOTHER FUCKER!"
Meanwhile, up ahead, Joey, thinking he had a huge lead, decided to stop for a snack. He ate all the left over snacks that the CBS executives didn't eat.
"You know… this scenery is nice." He said. "Reminds me of when I went to Duelist Kingdom… You know, maybe I…"
Yami finally caught up to him. He stopped right next to Joey, flipped him off, then stepped on the gas and speed ahead, splashing Joey with the water from the sudden take off.
"SON OF AN ASS!" Joey shouted!
Joey quickly started his speed boat up and shot off ahead. He quickly caught up to Yami, then stood up and grabbed his crotch.
"SUCK IT BITCH!"
Then Joey hit the nitros on his boat and shot off ahead again. Yami pounded the dashboard of his boat.
"JOEY YOU FUCKIN' WHORE!" he shouted.
Yami did the same, and soon, the two were neck in neck in a fierce battle back to Domino Pier. They were ramming each other, cussing at each other the whole way. Joey actually succeeded in reaching over and slapping Yami in the face. Yami, however, returned the favor by hocking a loogie at Joey's face. That really heated the race up. The audience at Domino Pier were on their feet from the race, cheering like crazy. The special guests that helped the Duelists rid them of their Pokemon problem were even seen cheering! Yugi and Joey chants were heard far and wide. It truly was a heated race… until a dark shadow loomed over the horizon. Yami stopped his boat. Joey stopped, then backed up.
"Hey Yugi! What the hell, man!" Joey said.
"… Trouble!" Yami said in all seriousness.
The shadow got bigger, and bigger. Yami and Joey watched as something came into view. In the sky, a large airship appeared over the horizon. It was huge, made of metal, and had weapons all over it. On the side of the ship, the words "BATTLESHIP DEATHSTRIKE" was embedded on the sides. There were also a couple of loud speakers around the ship as well.
"MWA HA HA HA HAHA HAHA!" came a laugh from the speakers
Yami's eyes lit up. "KAIBA!"
Joey quickly looked at Yami. "THAT'S RICH BOY UP THERE!"
"Yugi! THIS IS IT YOU BASTARD! YOU DIE TODAY!" Kaiba said from the speakers.
Inside the ship, Kaiba sat at the main control panel, along with his military intelligence and Mokuba were running around keeping the ship in tact.
"This is it…" Kaiba said. "Everything that's ever happened in my life has lead to THIS moment! And this time… there is NO way Yugi is gonna luck his way out of this one! I spared NO expense to my airship of revenge!" Kaiba then turned to the monitor.
"THAT'S RIGHT YUGI! I HOPE YOUR READY FOR YOUR DEMISE, YOU SON OF A BITCH! BECAUSE TODAY IS THE DAY YOU DIE! HAHAHAHAHAAHA!"
Mokuba shook his head as he watched Kaiba. "Uh… bro… the microphone…"
Kaiba quickly looked at Mokuba. "Shut up! I'm still figuring this shit out!" He then grabbed the microphone and tapped on the top.
"Is this thing on?" he said. "Testing… testing… 1… 2… 3…" He cleared his throat. "Yugi! I've put every weapon I can think of on this bad boy! Theres NO WAY You can escape your death now!"
Yami flipped off the large battleship.
"GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE, KAIBA! YOU KNOW YOU CANT BEAT YUGI, YOU THIRD PLACE BITCH!" Joey shouted.
"Third? Who's first and second?" Yami asked.
"Simple! You're second… I'm first!" Joey said.
"YOU KNOW WHAT?" Kaiba shouted. "WHY DON'T I DEMONSTRATE THE POWER OF THIS BITCH… ON YOU, WHEELER!"
"Huh?" Joey said.
Suddenly, the bottom of the airship opened, and a large bomb appeared. On this bomb were the words, "BIG F'CKIN' NUKE".
A female voice was heard over the loud speakers. "Dropping BIG FUCKIN' NUKE IN T MINUS 5... 4… 3… 2… 1… "
The nuke dropped and began its 350 foot drop towards the ocean. Yami quickly started his boat and rammed Joey. The impact sent the two of them careening in different directions. The nuke hit the water and exploded, sending Joey flying completely off camera.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, JOEY WILL RETUUUUUUUUUUUUURN!"
"Damn…" Kaiba said. He quickly ran to his computer. "SCAN FOR THE ASSHOLE!" he said to it.
"Scanning: Yugi Muto… target found… coordinates 10-444-30"
"That's right over there, bro!" Mokuba said.
The battleship turned around and flew a couple feet, til it was right by Yami, who was panting from the impact. He quickly looked up at Kaiba.
"KAIBA! YOU JACKASS! IF YOU HAVE A BEEF WITH ME, YOU KEEP IT WITH ME! YOU LEAVE MY FRIENDS OUT OF THIS!" Yami shouted.
"OH PLEASE!" Kaiba said over the loud speaker. "I DID YOU A FAVOR GETTING RID OF THAT DUMBASS! AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME!"
Yami held up the Millennium Puzzle. "TIME TO BRING YOUR BITCH ASS DOWN! MILLENNIUM BLAZE!"
An energy beam shout of the center of the Millennium Puzzle and hit the battleship dead on, but nothing happened.
"WHAT!" Yami gasped.
"DID I MENTION THIS BATTLESHIP IS MADE OUT OF KITCHIM… THE HARDEST METAL IN THE UNIVERSE!" Kaiba laughed.
"TCH!" Yugi hissed.
"NOW WHATCHA GONNA DO, BITCH!" Kaiba laughed. "WELL… IVE SEEN YOU SQUIRM LONG ENOUGH… NOW ITS TIME TO PUT YOU OUT OF YOUR MISERY! IT'S TIME TO KILL YOU!"
"You may be able to shield yourself from my attacks, but you'll never hurt me with your weaponry!" Yami shouted. A gold shield surrounded him.
"FIRE!" Kaiba shouted.
A dozen guns suddenly pointed downwards at Yami, then took fire. The bullets pierced through the shield, but luckily for Yami, every last one of them missed.
Yami's eyes widened. "WHAT! HOW DID THEY PENETRATE MY SHIELD!"
"OH SHIT! I ALSO FORGOT TO TELL YOU THAT THOSE BULLETS ARE MADE FROM ORICHALCOS STONES! I COULD HAVE HIT YOU DEAD ON, BUT I WANTED YOU TO SHIT YOURSELF FIRST!" Kaiba laughed.
"Oh no…" Yami said.
"FIRE! FIRE EVERY FUCKIN WEAPON!" Kaiba shouted. And with that, every single weapon that was on Battleship Deathstrike fired. Nukes dropped. Bullets shot. Lasers fired. And they all hit, resulting in a HUGE explosion! When the smoke cleared, the only thing that remained were a few pieces of Yami's speedboat and shards of his blue jacket.
Kaiba watched the scene with tears in his eyes. "Computer… Run a quick scan for Yugi…"
"Scanning… scan complete. Target obliterated."
Kaiba stood up, then dropped to his knees. "I did it… I did it… I FUCKIN' DID IT! YES! FUCK YES! I FINALLY KILLED YUGI!"
Suddenly, confetti dropped from out of nowhere as Kaiba, Mokuba, and his military advisors began to celebrate. Mokuba popped a bottle of champagne and began spraying it all over Kaiba and a few men.
Kaiba began clapping to get everyone's attention. "I just wanted to say… you know what? You plan and plan and plan for this day for SO LONG! Then when it finally comes… you have no idea what to say! I LOVE YOU GUYS!" And with that, the celebration continued. As the party continued, a small vibration was felt.
"Hey bro! did you feel something?" Mokuba asked. Kaiba was busy chugging down a bottle of champagne. "Huh? Nah, its probably because the men are being too rowdy. HEY! YOU GUYS COOL IT A LITTLE! AWWW WHAT THE FUCK! BE AS CRAZY AS YOU WANT! NOT LIKE WE CAN GET SHOT DOWN! MWA HAHAHAHAHA!"
More and More little vibrations were felt, some of them bigger than the last.
"DANGER! DANGER! INTRUDER LOCATED IN THE VICINITY! DESTROYING MAIN COMPARTMENTS!"
Kaiba suddenly spit champagne all over Roland.
"WHAT THE HELL! WHAT THE DAMN! WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE PISS!" he shouted. "COMPUTER! BRING THAT INTRUDER UP ON THE MONITOR! RIGHT NOW!" He held tightly onto his bottle of champagne. "I swear to god if that's Yugi I'm gonna open up the BIGGEST can of whoop ass!"
A monitor dropped down and began to show an image. Sure enough, it was Yami Yugi destroying EVERYTHING in his path, along with all his Duel Monsters that were brought to life with his shadow powers. Kaiba quickly ran to grab the microphone.
"YUGI YOU BASTARD! I'M WATCHING YOU! KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF! YOU'RE GONNA KILL US ALL!"
Yami looked at the nearest surveillance camera, flipped it off, then grabbed a bat and took a swing at it. There was nothing but snow on the camera.
"SHIT!" Kaiba shouted as he threw down the microphone.
"IF THIS THING EXPLODES, IT'LL EXPLODE FROM THE INSIDE! WE'LL ALL BE REDUCED TO NOTHING!" one of the advisors shouted.
"ABANDON SHIP!" Mokuba shouted.
All the advisors, lead by Mokuba, began to run towards the doors, grabbed a parachute backpack, and jumped out. A dozen men, and Mokuba, could be seen safely floating down from the airship. A KaibaCorp rescue boat suddenly appeared, caught every last one of them, then drove away.
"PUSSIES! YOU PUSSIES!" Kaiba shouted.
"Warning! Self destruct sequence activated. Will explode in 20 seconds."
Kaiba quickly ran to a ladder, on the top of the Battleship. Once at the top, Kaiba found that Yami was already out there.
Nothing was said. They both just stared each other down. The explosion finally occurred, dropping the battleship all the way down to the ocean. Since the airship was made from the hardest metal in the galaxy and was melded so tightly together, the ship didn't fall apart. It finally hit the ocean and resulted in a large large wave.
(This scene, imagine the theme to Mortal Kombat is playing. You know, the techno mix from the first movie)
Yami took off his Millennium Puzzle and his Duel Disk and sit it down next to him. Kaiba took off his long white jacket and his Duel Disk and sit it down next to him as well. Once the song said, "FIGHT!", Yami and Kaiba charged at each other! They began exchanging punch and kicks for like 10 minutes. They both stopped, panting. Yami held his side, while Kaiba rubbed his cheek. Both of them still staring at each other. Without warning, they began going at it again, still fighting, with no one to stop them!
The audience at Domino Pier were alive with rants and raves and cheers as Yugi and Kaiba continued their death match. Kaiba kneed Yami in the stomach. Yami quickly retailiated by punching Kaiba in the face. The fight continued, getting brutal by the minute. Both Duelist were turning black and blue with bruises and blood starting to flow.
Suddenly, the coast guard could be scene speeding towards the fallen battleship.
"SHIT!" Yugi said. He waited for his moment, then once Kaiba went to throw a punch, Yami grabbed his fist and threw Kaiba into the ocean.
"WE'LL FINISH THIS LATER, BITCH! I'M NOT TRYIN TO GO TO JAIL OVER YOUR ASS!" Yami shouted.
He jumped into the water, found an emergency lifeboat that was tossed out after the battleship went down, and it was a coincidence that it was a motor boat. Yami then jetted away before the coast guard can see them.
(End of the song by the way)
The Coast Guards began to look the battleship over. "Looks like we have to report this…" said one of them.
"Yeah… damn, and I was hoping we could watch some movies and save bitches… now it looks like we actually have to WORK today!" said another one.
As soon as the Coast Guards drove away, Kaiba's head emerged from the water. He stared down the area in which Yami drove off in. No cold threats. No vows for revenge. He kept staring.
Suddenly, Joey sped up, then stopped, slapped Kaiba upside his head, flipped him off, then shot off after Yami.
"I TOLD YOU JOEY WOULD RETURN, BIATCH!"
Kaiba was now SEETHING mad! "Just you wait Yugi… one day… some day… you will pay… with your life… AND YOU TOO, WHEELER! ILL BURY BOTH YOU BITCHES IN THE SAME FUCKIN' GRAVE! MWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA!" He then got on his cell phone. "MOKUBA! COME PICK ME UP!"
(If you were expecting some huge unexpected plotline like Duel Monster Frontier… I am SO sorry I let you down!)
Yami's boat hauled ass across the finish line, with Joey in hot pursuit. Domino Pier came into view as Yami could see the finish line becoming more and more clear.
"THIS IS IT, PHAROAH! WE"RE GONNA WIN! WE'RE GONNA WIN!" Yugi cheered from the puzzle.
"Of course! Did you ever have any doubt! I mean, this is OUR show, remember?" Yami said with a huge shit-eating grin. "HEY WAIT, DIDN'T I TELL YOUR ASS NOT TO TALK!"
Joey was desparately trying to catch up to his best friend, but to no avail. "NO! I'VE GOTTA WIN THIS!" he said, as passionate as ever. It was no use. No matter how hard Joey tried, he couldn't pass Yugi!
"AND HERE THEY COME!" Jeff said at the pier, holding a microphone! "Yugi, now in a boat he stole from Kaiba, is coming closer and closer to the finish line! I don't think Joey can pass him now! IT LOOKS LIKE YUGI IS GOING TO WIN SURVIVOR!"
Suddenly, high in the air, a Kaiba Corp. Helicopter flew above Yami. Kaiba poked his head out the window. "MERRY CHRISTMAS, YOU BITCH-MADE BASTARD!" He pressed a button on a tiny remote control. There was a tiny explosion from Yami's boat. It started to smoke like crazy, then came to a complete stop.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!" Yugi shouted from the puzzle.
"I DON'T FUCKIN' KNOW! STUPID PIECE OF KAIBA CORP SHIT!" Yami shouted as he started to pound the boat. Yami stopped just INCHES from the finish line. Suddenly, Joey came out of nowhere!
"NO YOU DON'T!" Yami shouted. He aimed his Millennium Puzzle, and the moment Joey sped past him, he shot the Millennium Blaze attack and blew up Joey's engine, stopping him short of the finish line! Joey flipped Yami off, then dove into the ocean and began swimming for dear life to the finish line.
The crowd was on their feet, cheering!
"NO!" Yami shouted. "I'M YUGI, GOD DAMMIT! DO YOU FUCKIN' HEAR ME!" He unfastened his seat belt, making an attempt to try to dive in the water after Joey, but Kaiba once again intervened.
"I DON'T THINK SO YOU WHORE!" Kaiba shouted from the air.
Suddenly, the seatbelts wrapped around Yami, trapping him inside the boat! "NO! FUCK YOU KAIBA YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKER! FUCK YOU AND YOUR SLUTTY MOM!"
Joey continued to swim! He swam as if his life depended on it! He swam, and swam, and swam! Til finally, Jeff stood over him.
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE A WINNER! JOEY WHEELER HAS WON SURVIVOR! JOEY WHEELER HAS WON SURVIVOR!
The crowd helped Joey out of the water, then held him up as confetti mysteriously dropped out of the sky. Joey held his fists up into the air. "I DID IT! I WON! I'M DA BOMB!" he shouted.
"I cannot believe that fool actually won…" Tristan said.
"… Me too…" Tea said.
"Pegasus cant believe it either!" Tristan said as he held up Pegasus' head.
"EEWWWW! WHY THE FUCK DO YOU STILL HAVE THAT NASTY ASS THING!" Tea shouted as she kicked the head into the water.
Yami, however, was uber pissed. He looked up at Kaiba's helicopter. "Kaiba… you fuckin' bitch… how dare you screw ME out of what was rightfully mine…"
Kaiba's voice came over the loudspeaker. "YEAH! HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES, BITCH! I GOT YOU BACK FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER DONE TO ME! SABOTAGING MY FUCKIN' PROPERTY! THAT YUGI'S BITCH T-SHIRT… TOUCHING MY FUCKIN' DECK… SHOOTING A BOTTLE ROCKET OFF IN MY ROOM! EVERYTHING! NOW YOU HAVE TO LIVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE KNOWING YOU GOT FUCKIN' BEAT BY WHEELER OF ALL PEOPLE… AND SCREWED BY ME! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! I TOLD YOU I WOULD GET YOUR MONKEY ASS BACK!"
And with that, the helicopter turned around and took off, dropping something down. It landed perfectly in front of Yami. The words, "KAIBA'S BITCH" were printed on a dark pink tshirt. Yami shook his head. "Kaiba… this time… YOURE THE ONE WHO'S GONNA FUCKIN DIE! YOU HEAR ME! YOURE DEAD YOU ASSHOLE!"
Location : Domino Pier : 10: 48pm
A huge awards ceremony was going on at the pier, as all the Duelists, sans Pegasus, Kaiba and Mokuba, were gathered around to honor Joey's win. Jeff stepped forward.
"Well Joey, the tribe has spoken! You are the survivor!" Jeff said. Joey began to raise the roof as the audience cheered and the Duelists clapped. Yami, however, was still pissed off.
"Yugi, fuckin' take over before I kill someone other than Kaiba!" he said.
"SURE!" Yugi shouted. The Millennium Puzzle flashed and Little Yugi stood there with the group. He patted Joey on the back as a sign of a good race.
"And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for! Your THREE MILLION DOLLARS!" Jeff said. The CBS crew carried a huge check for Three Million Dollars out towards the cameras.
"OH MY GOD!" Joey shouted with stars in his eyes and drool flowing down his mouth. He quickly ran over to his check and began posing with it as numerous pictures were taken.
Next, the crew brought out a giant treasure chest. Jeff walked over and handed Joey a key. "And now, your treasure chest full of rare cards!"
Joey took the key and ran over to his chest. He then turned to the other Duelists. "AFTER I OPEN THIS BAD BOY UP, I CHALLENGE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU BITCHES TO A DUEL!" he shouted.
Joey inserted the key into the keyhole and turned it, then propped open the chest. Joey's face suddenly went pail as he saw what was inside. He felt like someone punched him in the stomach. Finally, anger filled his body as he turned towards the cameras.
"PROBST! GET YOUR FAGGOT ASS OVER HERE! NOW!" He shouted angrily.
Jeff ran over towards him. "What seems to be the problem, Joe—" Joey quickly grabbed Jeff by his neck and threw him towards the chest.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT!" he shouted.
All the Duelists ran over to see what the commotion was about.
"Whats wrong, Joey?" Mai asked.
"LOOK AT THIS SHIT!" Joey shouted.
The other Duelists looked inside the chest and shook there heads in disbelief. Some even as pissed as Joey.
"IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF A FUCKIN' JOKE!" Marik shouted.
"THESE ARE FUCKIN' BASEBALL CARDS!" Odion shouted.
"SOME OF THESE ARE FUCKIN' POKEMON CARDS TOO!" Tristan said.
"HEY! THESE ARE MAGIC CARDS… AND NOT OUR MAGIC CARD! I MEAN MAGIC THE FUCKIN' GATHERING!"
"Look… Dragon Ball Z cards!" Bonz said.
"WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT! EXPLAIN!" Yami Bakura shouted.
"Hey… we said there were a treasure chest full of RARE cards… we didn't say NOTHIN about a treasure chest full of Duel Monster Cards…" Jeff said.
The Duelists all looked at Jeff with anger and fire in their eyes.
"So let me get this straight…" Duke Devlin said "We went through all that bullshit… got kidnapped by Pokemon trainers… and nearly killed ourselves… FOR A CHEST FULL OF CRAP CARDS!"
"HEY! THESE ARE RARE CARDS!" Jeff said, starting to back away.
"Probst… you have gone TOO far this time…" Mai said as she pulled out her twin desert eagles.
"I know you hate us, but fuckin' with us was the LAST thing you should have done!" Weevil said.
Rex ran up with a baseball bat full of nails. "LETS FUCK THESE CBS BITCH UP!" he shouted. "SHINANAGANS UP IN THIS BITCH!"
And with that, all the duelists pulled random weapons and began to chase down all the CBS executives! Jeff tripped in the process and was literally maimed by all the duelists.
Yugi and Joey stood there watching the carnage.
"Wow… do you think Jeff is dead, Joey?" Yugi asked.
"I really don't know, Yuge. But ill say this, if he's not, there's NO WAY he's gonna be walking the same again." Joey responded.
Mai pointed her desert eagles at Jeff's knee caps, then fired.
"Correction… he'll never WALK again." Joey said. They both began to laugh. "But you know something… Jeff was right. These cards are worth a lot of money! Lets go trade them in, then I'll give you half!"
"REALLY JOEY?"
"Sure! I mean, besides being a little pussy, you ARE my best friend! And besides, if it weren't for Kaiba, well… who knows who would have won!"
"Yeah, you're right! Lets go!"
And with that, Yugi and Joey walked away into the moonlight. They both dragged the chest full of cards, and Joey had his large million dollar check folded up under his arms. Behind them, The Duelists were all brutally beating the CBS network workers, with fire everywhere. It was like something out of that story, "The Crucible". And my friends… we close with a happy ending. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for supporting this story, because it was the first one I've ever written, and the first one I've ever finished!
THE END!
(NOTE: Joey blows ALL his money a week later on food!)
And that's the end. I hope you enjoyed Survivor! Duelist Style! Be on the look out for my follow up story to this one!
COMING SOON: Survivor! Duelist Style GX! (Starring the cast from the new show Yu-Gi-Oh! GX!) NOT the follow up story, but a spin off.