8. Risk.
T: Apparently I've been being too nice by giving you hints on what's coming next so I'm stopping! Not mine, though I am evil enough and warnings remain the same…oh this is a Tenshi chapter for those skipping through!
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He awakes several hours before his usual time, something that he believes the trees fault until he attempts to reach for the thing and find it dormant..
How odd.
Every nerve in his body is tensed and his hunter's instinct is screaming 'danger' yet he is alone in his room and the magical wards about the windows and the doors have not been disrupted in any fashion.
How very odd.
He rolls from his bed silently and turns up the legs of his night trousers so that he can move silently with ease.
The set is black silk and tailored larger than his need so that he can easily slip in and out of it in haste.
There is a tiny part of him that had requested the set as such because his sister had always made his bed clothes just a little too big, both so that he might grow into them and to add to his 'cuteness'.
The living room remains untouched and there are no signs, large or small, to indicate that an intruder has passed by.
A faint cry tenses him again and he moves, slowly, towards the door of his spare bedroom.
He keeps the hinges on all of his doors well oiled at all times, aware that the smallest of sound might well make the difference between life and death.
Tenshi is curled as far down the bed as he can and at some point during the night he has kicked off the covers thus exposing a set of very familiar polka-dot pyjama's.
He no longer clings to the pain of his sister's memory, yet no matter how much he tries he can not seem to dislodge the need to remember her just a little.
Most of the objects linked to his past life had long since been disposed of, however, there were a few pieces, dotted still within the house, that he could not seem to part with.
…This set of pyjama's and two other pieces of her original tailoring, folded neatly in the bottom the spare room cupboard...
…A photo album hidden amongst the socks in his dresser…
…One of his sister's dolls, found in her bedroom after she had gone and sat on the top of his wardrobe…
…Finally a single set of their baby clothes, framed and lovingly signed by his sister in memory of the first day that had spent together in Tokyo, this hidden well in the shadows of one of the living room alcoves.
Silly sentimentalities, all of them, yet each time he attempted to throw them or dispose of them in another fashion something would always stop him.
Something that a tiny part of him believed to be his sister's spirit clinging to the desire to be recalled always in his mind.
Tenshi cries out and now that he is close to the boy he can hear that it is a name…no, not simply any name…his name.
He knows he can not let the child in any further to his heart, especially now when he is completely certain of what he wants from him…
Knows that to let the child recall his past would be creating so many complications…yet still he crouches to the child's side and placing a hand to his forehead says,
"I am here, Seishiro-san…I am here…"
There is a brief instant where he believes the act as futile and as silly as it had felt and then the boy stills and his eyes open wide to reveal the gaze of the man he had loved before he fell to the sakura.
"Subaru-kun, I did not expect you for a while yet…did your job finish early?"
There is something in the tone and the words themselves that tell him that the boy is not truly seeing him, that he has simply responded to his voice and enveloped him into whatever fantasy he had been dreaming of.
This thought jolts him a little back to rational thought and yet still he can not stop himself from replying,
"You fell asleep, Seishiro-san."
"Really? It must the summer heat getting to me…it is no matter! Shall we find Hokuto-chan and treat ourselves to muffins?"
The mention of his sister's name is the last push he needs and his mind again calm and rational he replies,
"No."
"Why?"
"Because this is not real…you are not real! Twice you have simply gone from my life, the first after the shattering of the illusion of the kind veterinarian and the second…
You let me kill you on the Rainbow Bridge so that I might live, so that I might continue this legacy.
I did as such because I thought it would bring you back…thought that if I clung to your memory you would never truly leave me…
Then your mark faded and I stopped seeing you in Fuuma's face and I thought…"
He pauses to gather his thoughts and notes that the boy has passed back into genuine sleep before he remarks,
"I thought that I was free at last to try and let go, yet my heart still clung to your memory…
Seishiro-san, why did you come back? Why could you not let me simply fold away into the complete numbness of the Sakurazukamori?"
He leans forwards, catching the boy's lips for a moment before he returns to his feet and enquires,
"Why do you love me still?" Before he leaves the child's side.
Dressed still in his night clothes he crosses out through the back gate of the garden and out into the quiet splendour of Ueno at night.
He walks a while without purpose or direction and then he turns and leaps for the sakura, his form recalling still the grace and ease of such a jump despite the time between this and his last.
Secure in the branches of the tree he lets his mind go and little by little the anxiety, the passion and the confusion of the situation is gone.
He has two weeks left before to finish his task, two weeks to do what has to be done and cover his tracks as he leaves.
Firstly he had to get rid of Usagi-san, something that he could achieve swiftly with Tenshi within his care.
Then he had to find a manner to dispose of Sara-san and Motasua-san without drawing further police attention.
This was something he would again prove simple, merely because with those two individuals he was assured that he could win them over with his charms.
There was a small risk in the close proximity that they worked together in and yet a small illusion would soon elevate that risk.
Finally there was Tenshi…
If he could kill Usagi-san without drawing the boys suspicion then he would tell the boy a lie and simply walk out of his life.
If the boy realised who he was then he would kill him, it was as simple as that.
Tenshi was not him and to believe otherwise was to create a loose end in the plan.
Was to create a risk.
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T: I Am retaining my silence! Just keep reading and review please! I like having feedback!