Thanks to all who reviewed. I appreciate your comments. Again not sure if I'm going to tell you who it is that is touching Remus Lupin only that this time he does a little touching of his own. I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think.

Touching Remus Lupin

Encounter Four

I walked down the stairs and noticed that the library room light was on. So this is where he went, I thought as I paused at the door, unsure if I should go in or not. I took a deep breath and opened the door. A wave of cold air hit me and I gasped at both the air and the sight before me.

Remus Lupin stood next to an open window, hair blowing in the wind and his shirt unbuttoned to the middle of his chest. His face was pink from the air and he looked quite wild.

"Remus are you alright?" I paused at the door, taking in the scene, and trying to catch my breath.

Remus didn't look at me when he spoke. "I'm well, just restless. This house seems stifling tonight."

"Yes." I couldn't say anymore as I moved towards him. "Are you sure you're not ill. No fever?" I was level with him now and was about to stretch out my hand when he moved away from me. I was afraid of this. He'd been avoiding me since the night we'd fallen asleep in this room, my hands in his hair.

He didn't move far and began to button up his shirt. "I'm quite well. I promise."

I wanted to seize his hands to stop him and then run mine over the plains of his chest but I moved away from him instead.

"Why aren't you in bed?" He watched me as I walked past him to the closest bookcase and began fingering the book spines. I didn't feel like reading but I didn't want to leave, I didn't think I could.

My mind raced as I gazed at book titles that I wasn't reading. "I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd read." I lied. In truth, I'd heard him leave his room and not return. The temptation of being alone with him again was more than I could resist.

I could feel his eyes on me as I took a book and sat on the couch.

"I thought you were going back to bed." His voice sounded strange and I glanced at him in surprise.

I continued to pretend I was reading. "I think I'll stay down here for a bit." I tried my most innocent smile on him and he blinked. "You don't mind do you?"

"Isn't it a bit cold down here for you?" He leaned against the wall next to the window and gazed fixedly at me.

I motioned to the blanket that someone had placed on the back of the couch. "I'm fine right now, but if I get cold there's a blanket." I tried my innocent smile again and he was no more responsive. "Could I bother you to get me a drink? I'm parched."

"Certainly." He walked to the sideboard and poured a glass of water. He paused for a few moments with his back to me and then handed me my drink.

I glanced up at him as he loomed over me for a second too long. "Are you sure you're OK?"

"I'm just having a little trouble settling down." He walked to the chair and stood behind it rather than sitting. "That can happen close to the full moon."

I put my book down and turned my full attention on him. "Two days." He nodded mutely not looking away from me. "Are you afraid?"

"Not afraid." He paused looking down at the diamond pattern on the fabric and frowned. "It's not something I look forward to." He glanced at me again. "I'm just easily distracted lately."

I stood to refill my glass. I glanced at him and noticed that he'd moved around the chair and was watching me closely. I was constantly surprised how silently he could move. "By what?"

"What?" He walked towards me around the couch.

I faced him but didn't move. "What are you distracted by?" I watched as he shifted and noticed that he was clenching and unclenching his fists again. "Would you like a drink?"

"Yes I would." He didn't smile or move towards me only watched me as I poured a tumbler full of water and walked towards him. "Thank you." He clenched the glass like it was a lifeline.

I moved back towards the sideboard again draining my glass and refilling it. He looked as if he was rooted to the spot, of course that spot was considerably closer than he'd been when I'd turned away from him. "You were about to tell me what you were so distracted by." I prodded him.

He shifted again and looked at his glass as if he held the secrets of the world within its depths. "It's not important." He spoke so quietly I had to strain to hear him. "It's not me."

"What's not you?" I wasn't about to let him tune out on me.

He looked at me and I couldn't read the look but it sent shivers down my spine. "It's not me." I must have looked confused. "Sometimes." He paused as if unsure what to say next. "When the full moon is near I have impulses to do things that I shouldn't."

"What kind of impulses?" I didn't move. I wasn't sure if I could. His eyes seemed to be pinning me to the spot.

A little noise escaped from him. I wasn't sure but it sounded suspiciously like a growl. "It's nothing."

"Are they likely to hurt anyone?" I watched him. I could feel the heat radiating off his body and felt my pulse speed up.

He glanced up at me and I wondered if he could hear my heartbeat. "I don't know."
"Well knowing you it's not likely." I knew I sounded a little breathless but I couldn't seem to steady myself.

He frowned at his glass again. "As I said, these impulses aren't things I would normally do."

"I wonder." I inched toward him. "If you could pick just one of them to do." He glanced up at me again and I stopped dead, the look in his eyes seemed to set my body on fire. Either I felt a little fireproof or maybe it was the fact that I wasn't afraid of being burned. "One that wouldn't hurt anyone." I swallowed. "And go ahead and do it." I drained my water again and noticed my hand was shaking just slightly. "I wonder if it would make the other impulses manageable."

He swallowed hard and gazed at the floor. "I am managing them very well."
"Do you want to manage them all?" I wondered aloud.

I could almost hear his head snap as he looked up at me. I could hear the air humming again as he gazed at me, his expression full of question and intent. Then he was moving, and all the doubts I had raged through my brain but only for the briefest of moments. I heard his tumbler hit the floor with a crash and then I was pressed against the bookcase and his face was inches from my own. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." I barely spoke the words when he crushed my mouth beneath his. I gasped and he plunged his tongue between my lips, exploring every crevice of my mouth. All I could hear was humming and the sound of my own heart beating so hard I thought it would burst out of my chest. Remus tasted like cinnamon and black tea, just as I'd imagined he would. The kiss wasn't gentle, it was searing and I had never been more possessed by another human being as I was at that moment. I allowed my hands to creep around his waist and under the hem of his shirt. I could feel the muscles in his back moving as he ran his fingers through my hair. I ran my fingertips down his spine and he moaned, deepening the kiss, and I allowed myself to get lost in the sensations of his body against mine. He moved his lips to my neck and began to nibble softly. "Remus."

The word seemed to break the spell and he pushed away from me. "This shouldn't be happening." His breathing was ragged as he stepped away.

"Why?" I wanted to sob as I saw him trying to reassemble his control.

He looked at me for a moment and then closed his eyes as if what he saw broke him. "Because it's not right." He walked to the other side of the room and paused, his hand on the doorknob. " I shouldn't." His voice broke. "I should have made you leave."

"I wouldn't have gone." I spoke raggedly and wasn't sure my legs would hold me more than a few seconds more.

He opened the door. "I know."

I wanted to run after him as he closed the door and I heard the creak of the stairs as he ascended them but my feet wouldn't move. I allowed myself to slide down the bookcase and buried my head in my hands. I could still feel his body shifting against mine and knew he'd branded me.