Disclaimer: I own nothing, except an autographed picture of Scott Peterson. Please don't take it! I love it so much!
Summary: Lorelai's p.o.v on her father
Authors Note: let me know if you think I should do an actual discussion between the two, or leave it like this.
She knew that her life wasn't exactly average or normal. She lived in Stars Hallow remember? But Lorelai Gilmore knew that there was little in her life that others could claim as having the same as her. She knew from very early on that she wasn't exactly what her parents wanted from her. She wasn't interested in Buffy's new poodle, or the next party that the Stockwells were holding at the club. She was interested in rock n roll; she was interested in things that her parents couldn't even fathom. She didn't care what her mother thought of her, but secretly she wanted her dad to think of her in a good kind of way.
She always knew that her dad was different from her; she would have to be blind not to see that. She knew that his priorities usually started and ended in the things she abhorred the most. He wanted her to be one of those socialite girls with their big poofy dresses and not having an original thought amongst them all. He wanted her to curl her pinkie when sipping her tea from a precious antique tea cup that had flowers daintily painted all over it. She told her father once, that she didn't get why all of these girls drank tea, when coffee was so much better. She must have been eight at the time and Richard gave her a stern look and told her to hush up and go find the other girls.
After that point in time, she began to realize that her father was from a different planet from her. He looked at her so many times like she was some foreign thing, as opposed to be his flesh, his family, his only daughter. Maybe that's why she and Rory got along so well, she learnt from an early age what look meant disappointment, alienation and just pure disbelief.
If she could have done that day, when she ran into her fathers hospital room again she would have cried at how frail he looked, how small he looked for the first time in her life. He was always tall, powering and strong, like no other person she knew. He took care of her, her family, everyone that came in Richard Gilmore's path. She would have run up to him and told him that she was sorry she disappointed him so many times. That she didn't keep her word and didn't go to Yale. He had so many dreams for her, expectations and she shot down each one.
If she could do that night again, she would tell him that she loved him, and she just hopes he can one day be proud of her. Cheesy and predictable yes, but the truth none the less. If she could redo the day he spent in Stars Hallow after he retired, she would listen to his advice on business, because after all if there is one thing Richard Gilmore knows is business. If she could simply say 'ok dad, I'll try that.' She doesn't necessarily have to do it, but he doesn't need to know that.
So here they are after the last of the fights the respective Gilmore's will have. Emily, her supposed mother has gone too far, and conspired to get rid of the one thing in her life besides her daughter that makes perfect sense to her. One Lucas Danes, her coffee provider, her diner man, her flannel clad hunk of a man, and Emily tried to take that away. Her father had just stood there with a sad expression in his eyes, and she wish she could exempt him from her anger. She wished she could tell him that she wished it didn't have to get to this point. She knew that Emily was in charge of this painful event, but she had to stand her ground. She had to ignore Rory's pleas that she should forgive them again for it, and the pain of turning her back on her family, but she had to. Emily had made her lose Luke, and she didn't know if she could ever recover from that. Maybe one day, she would tell her father all of the things she wished she said.