3/25/05: Thanks a bunch for the helpful reviews. I have changed some wording at the end of chapter 10 so that hopefully it's more consistent.

Tsuzuki whistled as they walked along through the basement of the Castle of Candles. The sound echoed off the unadorned steel plated walls and pipes of the hallway they were currently passing through. Hands folded behind his head, he looked up and could just make out the shapes of giant fans installed into openings in the wall, sitting motionless.

"Hey, do you mind?" Terazuma said as he walked ahead. "I can't hear myself think when you're doing that."

"Maybe that's a good thing," Wakaba said softly beside him. "I don't want to think about all the things that could be hiding down here. It gives me the willies."

The whistling stopped, replaced by the faint sound of "Night Ferryboat" coming again from some unseen speakers and the slow dripping of water, and the two turned and looked behind them.

Tsuzuki had stopped and was looking up. "Don't you find it strange," he said, "that nothing seems to be working down here?"

"Hakushaku did say he had to seal the first through fifth floors," Wakaba tried. "Maybe that meant shutting them down too."

"It just feels . . ." Tsuzuki searched for the word.

Instead of finishing, he bent down and was looking at something on the floor. Taking a handkerchief from his pocket, he picked up a masticated fish skeleton up by the tail. He sniffed the air slightly. "Just as I thought," he said.

"What?" said the others, coming up to him.

"Well, either Hakushaku's basement has a cat problem, which is entirely plausible, or Gollum lives, which is not, or there were kappa here. I'm betting it's the latter. I'd know that smell anywhere."

"Kappa?" said the other two, startled. "As in the water sprites that pull your insides out your bum?" Terazuma said.

"Why? Scared?"

"Don't be ridiculous." Terazuma looked around anyway. "I'm just concerned for Kannuki's sake. It's not like you'd have anything to worry about, Tsuzuki. They wouldn't want your liver."

Tsuzuki dropped the fish, shaking his head. "That's just an old wives' tale. They're not as dangerous as everyone thinks. Perverted, yes, but that's about it. King Enma's got a fondness for them, so he gets them work inside Meifu's infrastructure. As long as they stay out of Juuohcho's main office complex, they're allowed free reign. They keep to themselves and dark, damp areas, though, so you never see them around. They probably use these tunnels to get to and from Chijou."

"Say, how do you know so much about them?" Wakaba asked.

"Birds of a feather, eh, Tsuzuki?" Terazuma teased.

Tsuzuki shot him a mean look. "They helped me out on a case when I first started out," he said. "Long before you were born."

"Did they make you an honorary kappa?"

Tsuzuki ignored him. "In any case, I wonder where they all went. This place feels deserted. It's almost as if something drove them away."

Just then, they heard a high-pitched, scratchy scream like something in the throes of death from up ahead.

"What are the chances of that being cats?" Wakaba said. But, of course, the threesome knew, they couldn't be that lucky.

Gathering their courage, they took off in a run in the direction of the noise, turning corners through the dead pipes and steel and concrete corridors until they arrived at a big set of double doors. They pushed through those and came into a sterile-looking place with linoleum floors and planters here and there. They looked around, trying to find a source of the sound, but this place also looked deserted.

No. On second glance, there were shapes moving in the corners. Two roughly humanoid bodies looked up at the intrusion. One that was rattling a vending machine like a chimpanzee abruptly stopped. After a stunned silence, a sound arose like the grumbling of stomachs, but it was much louder and more sinister than any one person could produce. Slowly, zombies emerged from the shadows around the room, drawn by the heat off the shinigami's warm bodies.

"I, uh, think we hit the jackpot," Wakaba said nervously as the three bunched together. "I'll take your word on the kappa, Tsuzuki, but I don't think our livers are out of the woods just yet."

The dry gurgling increased as they drew nearer, and from their lip-less mouths in their heads hanging crooked on their shoulders came the unmistakable cry of: "Brains!"

"How original," Terazuma said around his cigarette and pumped his shotgun, ready for action.

When the first one leaped out at them hungry for their flesh, he fired a round and blew it apart like old firewood. Wakaba whipped out her MAC-10s and proceeded to pump the zombies full of lead, while Tsuzuki, borrowing her halberd, sliced them into pieces, covering his back every now and then with a fuda.

They managed to eliminate most of the first wave, but even more were gathering in the wings, lured by the sound of action. Their cat-in-heat screams and growls for brains echoed through their ranks.

"It's no use going on like this," said Tsuzuki; "we need a strategy," and Terazuma grunted his agreement.

"You're right." Wakaba had an idea. "Oh, Hajime-chan!" she chimed, and he freaked when he saw her coming toward him with arms wide open. He knew exactly what was going on in her head.

"No, Kannuki, don't!" he cried, panicking, trying to hold her off with the butt of the shotgun. "If you have an ounce of mercy—"

"Come on," she said, dejected, looking for a way to catch him off his guard. "Just let me hug you and it will all be over!"

"I told you no way! I don't care if it does work!"

Meanwhile, Tsuzuki had found a gap in the zombies' numbers and took advantage of it. "Follow me," he said, and the other two — much to Terazuma's relief — stopped and did as told. "I've got an idea," Tsuzuki explained as they ran.

"Please don't say it involves trying to blend in with them."

"No. If we can get to Fluffy, we can stop the zombies from coming through the portal or whatever he's using to bring them here. We'll have to clean up what's left anyway, but—"

"At least no more will be able to get into the Castle," Terazuma finished, nodding. "I like your plan."

They ran through a lobby-like area, past undead who were just arriving from other dark corridors that led who knows where. After a little while, down a short flight of stairs, their footsteps were cushioned by commercial-grade carpet, and the sound finally died behind them.

"I think we might have lost them," Tsuzuki said, panting for breath and clutching his irritated stomach as they slowed their pace.

But as they rounded the corner, a thousand decaying heads turned at the intrusion, a thousand pairs of glowing eyes turning in their lidless sockets right toward the threesome.

"Famous last words," Wakaba said, and together she and Tsuzuki turned on their heels and retreated, covering their ears as the zombies let out a blood-curdling scream all as one. "Look, elevators!" she pointed out with renewed hope. But then they realized they were missing one of their number.

They turned and looked behind them, and saw Terazuma just standing there facing the zombies. "Come on, Terazuma!" they called. "You've gotta get out of there!"

"I know!" he yelled back. "You think I'm standing here for my health? I can't move, geniuses!"

"Oh no," said Wakaba, "their screams must have affected his sensitive hearing in some way."

As they watched the zombies surrounded him, piling onto his legs and his shoulders and dry-humping him with their skeletal bodies.

"What are they doing! Get 'em off, get 'em off!" Terazuma yelled. One of them had attached itself to his head like an octopus and was trying to gnaw out his brains with toothless gums. "This is so humiliating!"

Tsuzuki moved to help him, hopeless though it seemed, but Wakaba grabbed his jacket sleeve. "Give him a minute," she said patiently as her partner was engulfed in a pile of molesting zombies.

The pile moved and bubbled outward, and then exploded sending the gyrating reanimated corpses hurling up into the air. Terazuma was gone, and from where he had been Kagan Kokushungei, the humongous fire-eyed black lion guardian god, rose up shaking his wild mane and long horns with a roar of outrage. Then he proceeded to tear up the place, tossing zombies about like they were paper dolls with careless kicking and stamping of his feet. In no time at all he had trampled their bodies to dust or flung them willy-nilly or set their corpses on fire so that nothing was left — except the god's inconsolable anger at being violated by a mob of living dead.

"Well, I guess it's time to bring him out of it," Wakaba said with a sigh, leafing through her collection of fuda. Finding the right one, she nimbly jumped up into the air and stuck it to the lion's forehead.

In an instant he stopped his tirade, stunned, and shrank down until only Terazuma was left, sitting on his rear and looking rather more disheveled then before. He rubbed his head and groaned. "Damn parasite . . ."

"Dang, you did well!" Wakaba said. She put her hands on her hips as she looked around. "Not a standing zombie in sight. See? Kuro-chan took care of everything for us, just like I told you he would."

She smiled to reassure him, but Terazuma glared.

"How do you feel?" Tsuzuki asked, giving him a hand up.

"Like a need a shower. —And a cigarette." He blushed slightly as he picked up his shotgun. "You know, I'd appreciate it if we never mentioned this again."

—

"Maybe this will cheer you up," Wakaba told him, pointing into the darkness. "Look. An elevator. We can take that straight down to the next floor, without having to look around for a staircase and, in the meantime, possibly run into any more zombies. Or worse."

"I'm all for that," Terazuma said with a grunt.

The three got into the shiny little car when it arrived and pressed the B5 button on the button panel. It glided smoothly down its shaft and in no time at all — unlike the antique contraption Watson had brought them down — it opened on a floor clearly marked B5. They breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, they had made it.

They hadn't really known what to expect. Basement level five ended in a humongous set of thick, steel doors. There were no other corridors branching off, and no way they could see to get past the doors' security system. The key pad guarded its secrets, charms yielded nothing, and the camera no doubt leading back to that little three-headed pug some floors above them just swiveled in their direction.

"No way to go but down," Tsuzuki said as they piled back in the elevator. He pushed the button for B6. "There has to be another way up from there."

When the doors opened again, though, their hearts sank a little bit. The outer doors refused to open. Instead they displayed a sloppily-written OUT OF ORDER sign across their inside. So much for the floor that could not be corrupted. Disappointed, they pressed the last marked button, B7, and the doors slid shut again.

There was no real floor to speak of on B7, nor any walls. Just stalactites hanging down from a rough limestone ceiling, mineral deposits sparkling here and there in various colors, and some pools of water glistening phosphorescently in the rock before their feet. It was a beautiful sight, but none of them was in the mood to appreciate it. "I guess . . . this is it?" said Wakaba uncertainly, and her voice was swallowed up by the dank darkness.

With nowhere else to go, the three went in the direction their feet were pointing, following the trickling sound of water down into the depths. It was slower going, what with all sort of formations lying in their path in the dark to trip them up, so that after a little while Tsuzuki couldn't help but ask, "How are we supposed to know which way to go?"

"Let me check." Wakaba got out the GPS, but it couldn't connect to the satellite — or whatever the Earl's brand used. "That's funny," she said. "The GPS can't find a signal."

"You mean we have to find our own way around down here?" moaned Tsuzuki. "That could take forever."

"But the cave does seem to be moving in a particular direction."

"At least it's a little warmer down here. I can't complain about that."

"Yeah, and that pesky song's stopped, too," said Terazuma, surveying the landscape carefully. The sound of a stream and the eerie glow returned. Then Tsuzuki started.

"Oh, yeah. That reminds me. . . ." He dug around in his pockets for the little cell phone the secretary had given him earlier. "Tatsumi wanted me to call and inform him of our progress. I guess it's been a few hours. . . ."

As he said that, he dialed the appropriate number, then pushed the "call" button.

But instead of a ring tone, all he heard was static and garbled, unintelligible sounds that might have been a voice speaking in some alien language, or even just the aftertaste of the Big Bang floating through space. He pulled the phone away and looked at the screen. It read "connecting," but what it was trying to connect to was another matter entirely. He hung up, saying, "I can't get reception down here," but when he had done so the phone showed a strong signal.

Terazuma's gaze fixed on something in a distant corner, and he said to the others, "Follow me. My detective's intuition is telling me we should go this way."

"Detective intuition? . . ." The two exchanged glances. "Where was that an hour or two ago?"

"You're forgetting the monkey on my back lets me see things you guys can't," he bragged. "I'm like a cat down here. For example, see those stairs cut into the rock over there?"

Tsuzuki squinted. "What stairs?"

"Exactly," Terazuma said as he held a fresh cigarette between his lips and fished out a lighter. "Just keep close and follow the light of my butt."

They treaded down the twists and turns of the rough-hewn staircase as it delved further into the cave, seeming to follow a trailing underground stream where blind cave fish and strange molds glowed occasionally. Then the stairs turned steeply uphill and before long the other two were falling behind.

"Come on, ladies, buck up. We're almost there," Terazuma told them like some sort of gym teacher.

The other two shot him icy glares and complained of hunger and stomach aches, and having to walk through his exhaust the whole way. But they made it to the crest of the hill anyway and through the stalagmites they caught a glimpse of a large rectangular opening in the limestone rock face that the stairs led right into. For all intents and purposes, it looked like the mouth of a corridor.

"What did I tell you?" Terazuma said out of the corner of his mouth and gazed up at the structure. "Like shooting monkeys in a barrel."

Tsuzuki raised an eyebrow. "Not a bad bit of navigation."

A big smile lit up Terazuma's face. "Is that a compliment, Tsuzuki? Wow. Hold on a minute and let me savor this rare moment. Let me put it under glass and preserve it for posterity."

"Then again, we would have found it eventually," Tsuzuki tried with a shrug, but Terazuma just grinned.

Wakaba went in for a better look. "This tunnel looks artificial," she said. "Someone made it, so it must lead somewhere."

She turned around to see the two looking at her like she had to be joking.

"What? It must."

—

"Now, we don't know what to expect in here," said Terazuma, "so try not to make any loud noises and keep an eye out for booty traps."

"Don't you mean—" said Wakaba started to correct him from behind, then realized the futility. "Never mind."

Meanwhile, Tsuzuki who was trailing behind again was looking up at the walls of the corridor. The surface was vaguely shiny and multifaceted like it radiated its own light. "Look at the way the light reflects here," he said, not watching where he was going. "Like it has some kind of ore—"

He didn't get to finish as he tripped and fell flat on his face with an awkward "oof."

"A booty trap!" Terazuma said, spinning. "Kannuki!" He reached out instinctively to pull her down just in case Tsuzuki's fall prompted any poison darts to shoot out of the walls or giant balls to be released. The two landed on the stone hard.

"It's okay," Tsuzuki reassured them, pulling himself up. He picked up what had tripped him which scraped the floor with a metallic sound. "It looks like it was just some old armor someone left—"

He stared at the two: Terazuma with his arm around Wakaba. "There's something wrong with this picture."

Stunned, Terazuma sat up and ran his hands over his body to make sure he was really there. "I didn't transform!" he murmured. "That's a first."

"Maybe because you only had my safety in mind," Wakaba tried, "it didn't count."

"Maybe," he said, "or maybe it's just another reason to find a way off this level as fast as possible. Hey, Tsuzuki, let me see some of that armor you found. We might be able to use it."

He put out his hands as though ready to catch it, so Tsuzuki tossed the helmet to him. However, maybe that wasn't his intent, or maybe it was a really bad throw, because the chucked helmet went right past Terazuma to clank loudly against the floor in the dark behind him several times, echoing off the strange walls like a ricochet until it finally rolled to a stop. The three stood still on baited breath.

"What are you doing, Tsuzuki, you idiot?" Terazuma hissed after a moment. "Trying to alert everyone to our position?"

"Me? What about your brilliant catch?" Tsuzuki shot back. "I thought you could see in the dark. Like a cat! Lightning reflexes—"

"I didn't say I wanted you to throw it to me!"

"Then you really should learn to watch the signals you're sending, buddy."

Meanwhile Wakaba was trying to make something out over their bickering. "Would you two shut up!" she said. "Shh! Listen."

The two finally fell silent, and when they did they heard something that sounded like the low rumbling hum of heavy machinery reverberating through the chamber. However, as it grew nearer and louder they were able to discern it wasn't that at all but the gurgling of thousands of collected bodies moving through the corridors like fish spawning, as fast as their lumbering gaits would carry them.

—
brains . . .