Hey all. My first published fanfic. I don't feel in the mood for constructive criticism. ) Just tell me how you feel about it. My first chapter of Ancestral Magics, I'm working on the others.
Chapter 1: The Journey of Narcissus
Narcissus ran down the crowded streets, wondering why the guards had picked him over all of the shady characters in the bazaar. He hadn't even been stealing anything. He was tall with brown hair and was clean shaven. He wore white pants and no shirt and appeared rather scrawny.
"Get back here, you brat!" One of the guards shouted as Narcissus dashed around a corner. He quickly spun another, around the same building, and another, finding himself behind the guards. He turned right, the opposite direction of his pursuers.
Narcissus slowed once he could no longer hear the sound of guards. The streets were still crowded: it was only mid-afternoon. He began walking back to the bazaar before realizing that the guards would probably be searching for him all over the city. Soon, they'd end up here. I'll just have to leave the city, he thought.
As Narcissus neared the front gates, he saw a pair of guards conversing with a young teenager with blond hair. "Seriously, I can do magic. Come on, I can't just show it off to anyone, especially greedy guards." The guards seemed to be harassing him for some reason or other.
"Oy, why are you messing with that kid? He probably just wants to get into the city." Narcissus said, walking up behind the guards. They spun around to gape at him.
"It's none of your business, civilian." The shorter of the two guards said in a voice that didn't fit his stature, let alone his size.
The boy piped up, "They won't let me into the city because they won't let anyone without magic in, but I can do it."
"Trust the kid, guys. Be nice for a change. It's like they say, guards are only there to harass civilians. Now let him in." Narcissus said, seemingly getting taller as he spoke.
The taller of the two guards didn't seem to waver at all. "And why should we be taking orders from a simple civilian when we know the law better than anyone? And besides, we're only supposed to allow mages into the city ever since the guards lost sight of some thief in the bazaar."
Narcissus raised one eyebrow confused. "And yet people can leave? I don't understand your logic at all. Ah, well, whatever. Just let him in." And Narcissus side stepped the pair of guards and began walking down the path. Crap, they either have runners or mages stationed at each entrance, he thought as he continued down the road. He would have liked to help the boy, but it was out of his hands.
Narcissus walked down the road casually. There were many travelers, a few on horse, some with wagons, and some just walking around. It seemed to be a normal day, especially in the capital.
As Narcissus drew nearer to the limits of the city, where no more homesteads stood and the traffic was greatly thinned, it was nearing high noon. He looked around as he entered the woodlands, eyeing the trees with every sound that shot from the enveloping darkness. Narcissus wasn't afraid of the dark, but it was never the wrong time to be careful.
Narcissus sat on a rock after an hour or so of walking in the forest. You could never really tell time, what with the sun being hidden behind the canopy of deciduous leaves. He needed a little rest and had decided that a rock was a better place than hoping to find a creepy old inn somewhere deep within the confines of the forest. Narcissus took this moment to look around, checking out the foliage and wildlife surrounding him within the depths of the woods.
"Beware the one legged man. Aye, and running with scissors, or any other pointy object. It's all great fun, until somebody loses an eye!" A shrieking voice said from within the forest. It seemed to put a lot of tension on the word eye, as if waiting for dramatic effect to take place.
Narcissus looked around from fright and nervousness. "Who's there?" He asked the trees surrounding him. This forest had seemed a lot smaller from the outside. Now, it felt as if he was being enclosed, trapped within a box full of wood and birdsong. But then it all went dark.
Narcissus had had a sack pulled over his head and was now struggling to break loose from the iron grip that was a rope tying it shut. "Ah, this is the life." Said a tall man who was standing with the sack. He had flaxen hair and was muscular enough, but there seemed to be more to him the met the eye, especially when it came to the scar that seemed to cut vertically through his right eye, but he could see perfectly out of both.
"Let me go!" Shouted the muffled voice of Narcissus. "You do realize that you are messing with one of the greatest mages this side of the world! Who are you?"
The man laughed. "Mages may be fine and dandy, but we mutants are better. My name is Alex Summers, but you may call me Havok." Havok laughed maniacally before picking up the sack with the struggling Narcissus and carried it off, deeper into the woods than even Narcissus would have normally agreed to go on normal circumstances.
Havok had walked for maybe fifteen minutes when he arrived at what appeared to be a small caravan that hadn't moved in a while. There were about two wagons and loads of tents, as well as a fire pit. Out of one of the tents stepped someone that appeared human, and in fact fit the description quite well. He was short, about 5 feet tall. He had brown hair and wore a white shirt, black pants and a forest green cape along with brown boots. "Havok, you're back. Since when do deer talk like that?"
Havok looked down as he dropped Narcissus. "Volcan, this isn't a deer. This is a man who invaded our territory." He untied the sack and Narcissus quickly climbed out and looked around.
"You guys are evil little…" Narcissus began saying before he was cut off by a black twister. As quickly as it started, it had ended and a teenage girl stood in the center of the mini-tornado.
"Narcissus? What a pleasure. My name is Raven. I do believe we've met…" She wore a black cape but appeared to have nothing beneath, or at least nothing visible. Raven quickly began levitating and crossed her legs, meditating.
Volcan stepped forward. "I am Volcan Polkano, the fighting dog of Mazmatura!" Before Volcan could continue, however, Havok had hit him upside the head, quickly knocking the human out.
Narcissus glared up at Havok. This appeared to be a very unconventional trio: a gothic teen, an egotistical child, and a mutant of some kind. "Okay and I'm Narcissus. Now what do you want with me?"
Havok laughed and Raven lifted an eyebrow. "Havok, shut up. Tell him why you really grabbed him. He is, after all, the first person to even sit on that blasted rock in ages. That's how we all joined together. Shall we go down below now?"
Narcissus raised his eyebrows up at her before Havok began talking again. "Fine. Narcissus, that rock is curse for some reason by one of Raven's own ancestors. This means that whenever somebody sits on that rock, they get dragged into a parallel universe, usually an unfriendly one. Now you can understand how we all started to stick together, can't you? We want to make sure no one sits on any of the rocks because of the magic bleeding through the forest and soil and onto anything else." He took a breath as Raven stood again.
"In other words, we just saved your life." Raven said monotonously. Volcan had just regained himself as he stood and began talking again.
"Yeah, now you owe us big time! So now we're gonna go into the Ancestral Plane and go whoop some ass and go get ourselves a curse lifted, right, Raven?"
Raven looked at him. "Whatever you say, Volcan."
Volcan looked up at Havok, smiling menacingly. "See, Alex, this is how we should behave. We should all listen to the mighty master Polkano before he decides to make you into his latest supper."