Thanks to everyone who wrote reviews. I'm planning a story with these as the bones, I promise in the next encounter you'll find out who it is.
Touching Remus Lupin
Encounter Five
I woke to a splitting headache. I listened to what was going on around me before I opened my eyes. There was someone else in the room but I wasn't sure whom. I shifted slightly and opened my eyes.
Had I know what wonderful sight awaited me I would have opened my eyes much sooner. Remus Lupin stood at the foot of my bed looking worriedly at me.
"You're awake." He stated quite plainly but his eyes seemed filled with doubt and concern. His entire body was still as if he was a tightly coiled spring on the verge of exploding.
I smiled. I wasn't sure I could use my voice, I had no idea how long it'd been since I had used it. Without a sound Remus handed me a glass of water. His movements were stiff and I wondered if he had been hurt. I took a huge gulp of water and almost choked as my parched throat tried to swallow. "Are you hurt?" The words were out before I could stop them.
"Am I?" Remus began with a horrible kind of laughter. "Do you know?" He started again before running his hair though his hair with an odd sort of violence. "I can't." He turned and walked away from me towards the window and looked into the gathering evening. I had the impression he was holding a silent conversation with himself, not by anything so obvious as mumbling, but he had his head turned as if listening to something I could not hear. His eyes came open and when he spoke he sounded much calmer. "How much do you remember?"
I closed my eyes and tried to remember. The images that flew to my mind's eye weren't ones I wanted to remember Remus on the ground, Bella standing over him with her wand in her hand. Remus was still, so very still I thought he was already dead. Bella hadn't seen me, or if she had my identity didn't register with her, because she moved a bit too slow. I had sent her flying with a well-placed "Expelliarmus." I wasn't even aware someone could fly that far without being on a broom. I had been kneeling over Remus when I heard a noise behind me and turned just a moment too late. When I opened my eyes Remus was looming over me, watching me intently. "I thought you were dead."
"I would have been." He spoke as if his own death meant nothing to him. "What were you doing there?"
I couldn't speak. There was a part of me that wanted to tell him the truth, that I had followed him there, that somehow I knew tonight's meeting was a trap, but I couldn't. Another part of me wanted to tell him that I had been sent to help him, but a few questions would expose that as a lie. Neither part of me could decide what to tell him and what was worse my brain seemed to have temporarily shut down at the sight of his worried, slightly irritated look as he watched me. I shrugged.
"You could have been killed." Remus took a slightly ragged breath. "I thought you had been." He glanced at me. "Had Kingsley not been there as my backup." He practically fell into his chair and passed his hands over his face.
I felt sadness overwhelm me for a moment and was horrified at the thought that I would break down and cry. I looked away from him for a moment but all I could see was him, lying on the ground and it felt as if my heart was breaking. "I thought you were dead." I whispered. I heard him shift in the chair. "You were lying on the ground, so still, it looked as if you were never going to move again." I cursed my voice as it cracked. I felt something running down my cheeks and realized that although I could hold back the sobs the tears had a mind of their own. I closed my eyes in a vain attempt to keep them in. I didn't open them when I felt a weight settle on the edge of my bed or when I felt strong hands on my shoulders. I didn't open my eyes as the man I loved gathered me into his arms and held me as I cried for the first time in as long as I could recall. He didn't rock me or try and soothe me with words, he just held me against his chest. I could feel the erratic rhythm of his heart as it beat against my palm.
"I'm not dead." He held me away from him after I had stopped crying. "I'm here." He wiped a stray tear off my cheek and the surprise on his face made it seem as if his hand had moved of it's own volition. He laid me back gently onto the pillows and smiled at me. "You should be sleeping." He stood and made to leave.
I grabbed his hand. "Please." He looked down at our joined hands as if I was burning him. "Don't."
He didn't speak, only seated himself in the chair again. I realized as he sat that I hadn't released his hand and I didn't think I could now. His closeness was like a lifeline to me. I wondered if he realized that he had begun to move his thumb in circles over the top of my hand. I was only barely awake when he ran his hand over my head and still think I was dreaming when he placed the softest of kisses on my forehead and whispered, "I'll always be here."