Ranma ½: Last Chance

Warnings and Disclaimers:

First I of course don't own the rights to Ranma ½, but I think most people already know that.

Second this will seem awfully dark, so if you can't stand that you shouldn't read it... Though I won't tell you how it ends there is a chance it won't end dark. If you want to find out read it.

Akane was worried. Ranma had disappeared leaving behind a note saying he was going to go train. This wouldn't be all that strange except he took off during the week, took no camping gear, took no clothes, and took no food. Besides her only Nodoka, and maybe Kasumi it was always so hard to tell, seemed to really care.

Maybe though we should back up a bit. Ranma and Akane where seniors in high school now as another year had passed since their first wedding attempt had failed. Most recently a second wedding attempt had failed as well under similar conditions as the first. Oh sure this time Ukyo may have actually been more help than hindrance as she didn't throw explosives or try to maim anyone, in fact she spent most of her time crying and ranting. Otherwise Kodachi turned up in yet another black wedding dress, Shampoo attacked Akane, Mousse attacked Ranma as did Ryoga. This time though probably more than last things had gotten out of hand. Ranma had put both Ryoga and Mousse in the hospital, in fact while the police had (yet again) been understanding they had nearly wanted to arrest him for assault and possibly attempted murder. While they were the most injured the ki blast that had hurt them had also destroyed wedding preparations and thrown people left and right.

Akane herself hadn't reacted very well, she'd shouted to Ranma that this was all his fault and had refused to speak to him the last two days. In fact only today had she decided she needed to apologize for what she'd said. Then she realized he'd left the night before for his 'training trip'. A trip he hadn't taken anything for, not his father who almost always went on such trips with him, not any supplies, nothing. So Akane was worried.

She had set out into the forest he usually trained in to see if she could find him. Internally she wasn't just worried though, she was shocked at the reactions of the rest of the family. Her dad and Ranma's dad didn't seem to care he was gone and just sat playing Shogi. Nibiki just said he'd be back when he got hungry like always. Even Shampoo who had stopped by as usual wanting to know if 'Airen' wanted a date had seemed to care. In fact she'd said "Is good Shampoo's Airen goes train and makes himself more worthy for her." Akane had just slammed the door on her at that.

Akane spies Ranma sitting by a river in a small clearing. In fact she briefly recognizes this place. It looks much like the glade where he had trained while Ryoga learned his first special move. If it wasn't that particular spot it was close enough you couldn't tell the difference. What really caught her attention though was how Ranma was sitting down on the ground. Then she noticed what he was holding in his hand. In fact what he was staring at.

Akane was shocked more than she had ever been shocked. She rushed to where he sat and blurted out "Ranma what are you doing?"

Ranma simply stares at the Tanto in his hand and replies "I'm just about to commit Seppuku, what does it look like?"

Akane's mind nearly stops working and her chest tightens. Finally she says "Come on Ranma stop joking, it's not funny."

Ranma stubbornly refuses to look up and replies "No it's not funny. It's not meant to be funny. You might want to go now." and he pulls the knife up from where he was holding it to be more in line with the strike he'd need to end it all, though the blade was still pointed to the side.

Akane just can't believe what she's seeing. What she's hearing. All of it. This wasn't the Ranma she knew. Where was the Ranma who would triumph over gods? Tears start down her checks unnoticed by her. She does however manage to crook out one word "Why?"

Ranma somewhat glances up at Akane and seeing her tears his mind decides he must have fallen asleep and this is a dream. Akane would never cry over him in real life after all. So this had to be a dream. She wouldn't have come looking for him anyways. So he replies as if it was a dream, letting him say hat he otherwise would never say. "I can't take it anymore. I've tried. I really have. I can't make anyone happy. Not myself, not you, not our parents, not my other fiancee's, not my rivals. No one. I just can't win!" the last is said in pure anguish and Akane feels as if it stabbed her through the heart.

Akane starts to sob "That's not true... You can do anything... You always have..."

Ranma laughs a nearly hysterical maniacal laugh that scares Akane in a way nothing else ever has. Then he slowly says "I've tried for almost three years now and has anything changed? What do you see when you look at the future? I know I can't picture anything worth living for... Not anymore." He turns the blade toward himself at that point getting tired with the idea of arguing with himself when it wears Akane's face in this dream.

Akane sobs again and starts pulling herself over to him (not being able to stand) continuing to cry "Please... Please Ranma... Don't... Don't do this... Not this..." she slowly cups her hands over his, her hands shaking.

Ranma says defiantly "Why not? Why not end the pain and suffering? Why not let it all go away?" staring at her.

Akane manages to say "Because I need you, you big jerk that's why!"

To her surprise Ranma just laughs and says "The real Akane doesn't need me. The real Akane has made it quite clear to me time and time again. Most of all the real Akane doesn't love me." These words hurt her in ways she's never quite hurt before, in fact her entire body flinches as he finishes saying this.

"Ranma I do need you! I've always needed you!" she practically begs him to listen as she tries to pull the knife away from his hands.

Ranma almost laughing again says "Do do what rescue you? The only times your ever nice to me is when I save you... And even then just as often you end up being mad at me. I can't take it when your mad at me!" The last is nearly a sob at the pain he feels inside trying to come out. But as always pop's words echo in his head "Men don't cry!"

Akane cringes and looks at him pleadingly "Ranma please... It's not just when you save me, it's not just any one thing..." and in a much smaller voice she says "And I do love you. It hurts, but I do love you."

Ranma just can't even wrap his mind around those quiet words, to him now they don't seem to make any sense. "What do you mean you love me? Akane can't love me, I'm a perverted freak of nature... How could anyone really love me? I know Shampoo thinks she loves me, but she just wants to use me. I know Ukyo wants to love me, but that's because we were... maybe are friends... But Akane...?"

Akane looks up at him with tear filled eyes and says "But I do Ranma... I do love you... In some ways I don't want to love you and I'm always to scared and frightened to admit it to you... But I do..."

Ranma shakes his head "No I can't believe that. While I've loved Akane so much it hurts... In fact it always hurts..." He closes his eyes and says "I just want it to end" and starts to move the knife trying to move it out of her hands so he can do a clean strike.

Akane can't believe what he just said. Ranma loved her? Loved her in fact so much that it hurt? "Ranma why if you love me do you make fun of me, why do you push me away?"

Ranma tears now streaming down his face as the feelings just can't be kept inside anymore "Because this isn't real! I tease her because that's the only way I can act around someone I like! Anything else isn't 'manly'!" He tries one again to move her hands from his.

Akane cries again to herself and moves her hands over the blade, a thin trickle of blood falls off the blade where the edge cuts her palm. "No Ranma, No. It's not unmanly to show you care. Please... Don't do this. I need you." The last is accented by the raw emotion she feels.

Ranma shakes his head "What are you doing? I have to do this."

Akane looks into his eyes that are pleading with her to let him go and her heart just hurts. "If you go I go to. I can't imagine life without you. My life is in your hands what will you do? If you love me you want want us to die." She reaches up with one hand and caresses his cheek. Whether symbolic or not it's the hand that was cut on the blade and therefore leaves a trail of her blood on his cheek. Not that either really noticed.

Ranma shakes his head "No I don't want you to die. But I need to end this, I can't go on this way. I can't take Ryoga sneaking into your room to sleep with you. I can't take Mousse attacking me because the girl he loves insists she loves me. I can't take take the hurt I see in Ukyo when I try to let her know that while I care for her, it's not in the way she wants. I can't take getting hit for trying to help. I just can't."

Akane stares at him and says "What? I've never slept with Ryoga..."

Ranma sighs "Since this is all just a dream, I guess I'll just say it... This happens often enough in my dreams anyways... I'm not sure if Ryoga's ever slept with you as a guy, but I know he has in his cursed form."

Akane just continues to stare "What? Ryoga has a curse? A Jusenkyo curse?"

Ranma nods "Sure good 'ol bacon breathe turns into a little black piglet."

Akane can't even think for a second until she ends up yelling "Ryoga is P-Chan? Why didn't you ever tell me?" her battle aura coming quite active.

Ranma sighs "You know why since this is a dream, but I'll go along with it... Ryoga made me promise on my honor not to tell anyone, to never tell anyone... Before he became your pet, before I knew the lengths he would go to just to ruin my life. Still I did accidentally help knock him in and pop did end up trying to eat him... But honor is honor, I could hint all day and all night... But I couldn't tell anyone..."

He looks up at Akane again pleadingly "Can I finish now? You know my dark secret, we've discussed my inner pain, I think it's time it was over."

Akane loses all her anger and her battle aura sniffs out as she drops to her knees next to Ranma and then reaches out to encircle him with her arms. Lying her head on his chest she says "Oh Ranma, please I need you to live. To live with me. I can't stand to see you die." she looks up to stare into his eyes pleading to the gods that her pain and her love for him show up as clearly in her eyes as his anguish and sorrow do for her in his.

Ranma closes his eyes and says "But living hurts and this is just a dream... Nothing will change... Nothing ever changes..."

Akane heart in her hands reaches up to his face and pulls his head toward hers and does something she never thought she could do... Or would do... After all that had happened... "Ranma this is not a dream and I don't want you to go. This can, No, this will work out. For both of us." and she kisses him, slowly at first just brushing her lips over his and then with more passion in her desire to show him why he should stay. Stay with her forever. Ever so slowly still finding it hard to believe that it all isn't just yet another dream he kisses her back. Now unnoticed the tanto drops to the ground.

Author's Notes:

Well everyone had their opinion on how they eventually end up together, which is what is hinted at but we never see in the manga. This is my view on it after watching the anime (again) and having read the manga (before). By the end of the series I just see them in so much pain I don't think any normal circumstance could cause them to admit their feelings to each other. To long in denial. To long abusing each other because of that denial. A lot of others agree to, I know I've read dozens of fanfics where they have to hit that breaking point or they can't get together.

Ranma isn't exactly in character as I took away his normal speech patterns... I just found it to hard to write when he talks that way... Though I did make him a bit older, so let's just say he finally gets around to unlearning his speech patterns into something more normal. I also think he wasn't quite ready to give up after just one wedding, so I had to add a second in anyways. He also just thinks it's a dream giving him one last chance to not do what at that point he wants to do. Some may also think Akane isn't in character, but anyone who has ever watched the anime or read the manga should realize when push comes to shove she does indeed try to express her feelings to Ranma. It just normally doesn't work out the way either of them really wants it to.

I will also say that the feelings expressed above by Ranma are pretty classic feelings for everyone who has ever been in that state. Including myself. The feeling that your some sort of freak of nature no one could love doesn't require a curse, in fact it's a very common feeling that most people only feel a little bit. It's standard fare for depression. Suicide on the other hand is linked to what is normally called 'clinical depression' and it's where you go beyond just feeling like your a freak who no one should or can love, to feeling that the world would be better without you in it because of how much of a freak you are. I've suffered from clinical depression without anyone noticing really for over a decade, unfortunately for me when it got to the lonely point that Ranma is at within the story I didn't have an Akane to stop me. Though I also didn't use a knife. Later I came to after what could pretty well be described as a 'near death' experience, but unlike most I didn't see any bright lights or ghastly hells as such. I saw complete and utter emptiness, an abyss if you will, a place even more empty than life had been. It scared me utterly and is the reason I could never try again. Why am I sawing all of this? Well maybe someone who needs to read this part will, before they get to this point. Before they feel like I do. And maybe they can do something differently...