Ok I could not find a good song for this at all, which considering I have a little over 7000 songs so here is my fight scene. Maybe if I feel like it I will do another chappy about exactly why Integra decided to invert Alucard's manhood. insert evil laugh

So little to write and so much time...

Alucard started walking into the building. He was swamped by the maggot's ghouls. "Worthless little punk." Alucard's shadows moved out and the ghouls began turning to dust. Then to Alucard more female nose a scent came he would never had thought about till he was put in situation like this.

It was the scent of man, and not just any male a male happy to smell a female. Alucard for a brief second had some the most disgusting thoughts he had ever had.

"Oh littl' girl haf you come to play?" A sing song voice called. Oh how to use this, he could either play girl and lure the half, excuse quarter, wit to him or he could just blo... uh shot his head off. Maybe both?

Guess which one our sick twisted cruel evil homicidal manic vampire chose. "Oh I'm a little lost. Could you tell me where the Queen's guard office is?"

"Sure mah sweet." The vampire came out of hiding and Alucard nearly died again. He was staring at a slightly less insane Maxwell but something was different. The accent was all the paladin. Then Alucard remembered a joke he once used to try and get a rise out of his master.

"Sir Integra, what do think would happen if the Paladin and Maxwell had a child?"

"Alucard I neither care nor wish to ponder, it's scary enough with out the images."

"True but I believe it would have that face of Maxwell because it strong roots and the paladin's accent because we all know he would rise it."

"Alucard I forbid you from ever repeating that and go to your room. Thanks to you I will not be getting a peaceful night's sleep again."

"Oh thank you. I have been out wandering all night and these weird guys have been trying to hurt me." Alucard let his voice fall into the pattern only woman (and magically transsexual vampires) can pull off.

"It ba okah mah grilly." The odd man grinned, "You've got meh to worrie abot now."

"What?" Alucard began wondering if he could get an award for his act.

"I know its you Demon Alucard." The freak had blessed blades like Andersons in his hands.

Alucard stared. He wondered for a brief second if this was a joke then blades appeared in his stomach. Blood welled out of his mouth.

"Vampire you dah ta night." The freak pulled out a double ended stake and ran at Alucard screaming. "When tha ask who killed tha mighty Alucard, they will answer Paladin Alexander Maxwell the 2nd!"

Alucard feel down from his laughing fit. He wasn't sure if he was really dying and this was an illusion or if it was real but it was funny.

As he fell his leg went into the path of the running paladin. Effectively tripping him, as he fell he caught himself with the stake between his heart and the ground in a push up style. Alucard took his cue to stand and place a boot on Maxwell the revenge's back.

"Answer this question and I will let you live. Who are your parents?"

"Why Paladin Anderson and Bishop Maxwell of the Vatican. Why?" Alucard felt it try to push up from the bad position it was in.

"How is that possible. Aren't they both male?" Alucard hadn't realized he had spoken aloud.

"Modern medicine is an odd thing. My mother was once a ..."

Fearing the things answer Alucard pushed on to the stake.

"God. That is just wrong. I wonder what they did with his...?"

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Sorry my friends helped with this one and it just went all over. Transsexual vampires I could do easy but only my friends would do transsexual priests. Dammed for life they are. (goes in back and commits all 7 sins in 5 seconds "A NEW RECORD WOOT WOOT")

Yeah whatever

REVIEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW and I may tell you of the affairs of Enrico Maxwell (Former male) and Paladin Alexander Anderson. This week on Jerry Springer.

Ps I don't any thing even this computer it me dads cry for me for I am poor.