'Damn nightmares.' Was the only thing Jordan could think as she, warily, made her way into the clinic. A hot cup of black coffee was tightly gripped in her hands and it was already half empty. She felt like shit. Her head was pounding and the four Advil she had taken before leaving the house wasn't helping at all. Eve had been up all night, again, with nightmares and Jordan had stayed up with her until she fell asleep. After that, she couldn't go back to sleep so here she was, running on a total of three hours of sleep and doing her hardest to put on a happy face. A sigh of relief escaped from her lips as she surveyed the waiting room. It was practically empty and a scan of the days roster confirmed that it was going to stay that way. "Morning, Ann." She said, feeling slightly better.
"Good morning, Doctor Kincade." Ann, the nurse on duty greeted her, cheerfully. Ann was well into her fifties but refused to retire. She loved working with kids. "How was your weekend?"
Jordan snorted as she finished her coffee and threw the cup into the garbage. "Eve is having nightmares again." She stated as she put her purse down inside the breakroom. She returned a few moments later with her ID card attached to her coat pocket. Her white doctors coat wasn't buttoned so the neon colors of the scrub shirt underneath could be seen. She scanned over the roster once again.
"Nightmares? Oh dear." Ann was the mother of three, grandmother of seven and great-grandmother of two so she knew how bad nightmares could be. "Is she ok?" She knew Jordan for almost two months now and she liked the young doctor. She was so full of life and her love of kids equaled her own. A motherly smile formed on her lips. "You didn't get that much sleep, did you?"
"That's an understatement. I just got home from working a shift down at the hospital. Someone called off in the pediatric ward and they needed me to fill in. Three hours of sleep later, Eve was sobbing and screaming at the top of her lungs for her father." Jordan shook her head. "This is the third time this week. I don't know what's causing it. But I finally got her to sleep then I couldn't go back to sleep so I've been up ever since. She's fine. I dropped her off at daycare on my way here." She moved away from the reception desk and down the hall towards her first patient.
Ann just watched as Jordan walked away. She couldn't help but feel sorry for the younger woman. Losing a husband was hard but to have him taken away so suddenly must be harder. Not to mention the fact that she was a single mother now, working full time. She turned back to the files and paper work in front of her.
Jordan smiled at the short, African American nurse when she passed her in the hall. "Anything I should know about this patient?" She waited patiently for an answer.
Tony's smile grew at seeing who she was working with. "Well, Doctor Kincade. How you've been, baby?" She was a pleasant woman. She was Jordan's age and a single mother of two. She was also one of Jordan's close friends. "No. His temp is a hundred and his blood pressure is normal. Watch out for the father, he's not in a very good mood." She mumbled as she walked down the hall and disappeared into the breakroom.
Jordan blinked. "Great." She mumbled. Fathers were a pain in the butt when it came to their kids being sick. And Tony never mentioned moods unless it was bad. Putting on her best face, she turned the knob and entered the room. "Hi, I'm Doctor Kincade and I'll be your doctor for this visit." She closed the door, only then realizing who she was treating. A soft groan exited her mouth before she stopped it. No wonder Tony noticed his bad mood. This was her job and her territory so this time she was in control of the situation. "Garrett, what seems to be the problem?"
Garrett was grumpy and he knew he had been rude to the nurse but he couldn't help it. Spencer had been sick, on and off, for almost two weeks now. He was hardly sleeping and the better part of his day was spent, holding the sick boy. Even at nine, Spencer was clingy. More so now that he had met his mother. On several occasions the boy had even asked for his mother. Begged for her until he'd drop off into an uneasy sleep. He was getting behind at work and Spencer was lagging behind in school. He just wanted the boy better so he didn't have to suffer anymore. When he heard the door knob turn, he twisted his mouth into a frown, ready to tear into the doctor that greeted him. Only the words died on his lips when he saw who it was. He had been expecting Doctor Conners or Doctor Sampson. Those were the ones that Spender usually saw. Instead he was face to face with the very woman that haunted his dreams ever since he found out she was back in Boston. "Jordan?" He seemed shocked. He knew that she hadn't applied for her old job back but figured she got one in a nearby city. This was...a surprise. "He's sick." He said, lamely.
"Really? Sick you say? I wouldn't have guessed that. This being a doctors office and all." She rolled her eyes and turned her attention to the patient. Spencer didn't look well. He was pale and his sandy brown hair was stuck to his forehead from sweat. He was visibly shaking and his brown eyes were dull and unfocused. She took a shaky breath and laid her hand on the boys forehead. It was hot but not extremely. She sat down on her high backed stool and glanced over the chart she had grabbed out of the door slot when she came in. She scanned over his files. He didn't have a history of illness and was never hospitalized. The only records in his chart were for colds and one or two cases of the flu. She moved her eyes from the chart to the boy. "How long has he been sick?" She kept her voice professional, like this was just another kid.
"Two weeks, on and off." Garrett's voice was soft. "It came on suddenly and when it seems like he's getting better...he just gets sick again."
Jordan raised an eyebrow. "Two weeks? My God Garrett. Have you taken him to a doctor before this?" Seeing him shake his head no only made her sigh in disgust. She stood and removed a swab from the cupboard above her head. She then swabbed the inside of Spenders mouth and put it in a sealed baggy. She moved to the door, opened it up and disappeared. When she returned, she looked livid. "Do you always gamble with your sons health?" She asked as she jotted down several things in the file.
"Gamble? What are you talking about? He usually gets better. I didn't think it would last this long or I would have taken him to the doctor. He isn't one to get sick. He never has." Garrett was getting over his shock at seeing Jordan as a doctor.
"That doesn't mean anything. Children are breeding grounds for germs and viruses. Especially little boys. They're more physical in their playing than girls so they're more at risk for illness. Even colds should be looked at by a doctor so it doesn't turn into something worse." She was in full doctor lecture mode. She laid the chart down on the edge of the table where Spencer was laying and pulled out her prescription pad from her pocket. She jotted down something, signed her name and handed it to him. "This is for an antibiotic. He appears to have an infection. I'll know more when the mouth swab comes back from the lab. Make sure he finishes all the pills as prescribed and the next time he gets sick, take him to the doctor. Don't wait around to see if he'll get better or if it will kill him!" She was about to leave but a soft voice stopped her.
"Mommy? Mommy will you hold me?" Spencer asked. He knew the voice from the other night. He knew that this was his mother and he wanted her to hold him. Hold him like she had done when he was little and he got sick. "Please?" He felt so weak and tired. It was taking all his energy just to keep his eyes open.
Jordan froze at hearing his words. She knew that she should walk out that door but something inside of her wouldn't let her move. She was froze in front of the table. Closing her eyes, she fought back the tears. When he was little, he had been sick once or twice and she would hold him until he'd fall asleep. He'd cry if Garrett tried to hold him so it was up to her in the end. Could she bare to let go this time? Would she want to let go? She moved over to the little boy and gathered him into her arms, cradling his fevered body to hers. He seemed to relax in her arms and soon he was asleep. Sniffling, she placed a kiss on his warm brow. "Where is your car?"
Garrett had also froze at his sons words then held his breath to see how Jordan would react. It was obviously that she wanted to leave but instead she gathered her son into her arms and held him. The moment was broken when he heard her speak. "My car? Out front. Why?"
"I'll carry him out for you. This is probably the most relaxed sleep he's gotten in two weeks. I don't want to wake him." Gathering her courage to face her co-workers, she marked out of the small exam room and down the hallway. She nodded to Ann when she passed and carried the boy outside. She waited until Garrett lead the way to his car where she then deposited the boy in the backseat. She was holding back tears now. It felt so right to hold him and the dull ache of seven years ago had returned. Instead of waiting for Garrett to say anything, she turned on her heels and entered the clinic once again. By the time she got inside, she was perfectly calm. Any trace of tears were gone. So continued with her examinations until closing time where she then picked up Eve from daycare and drove home. She listened to her daughter chatter away at how her day at been filled with finger painting and book reading. She made a quick supper then put Eve to bed. Only when she was sure that her daughter was asleep, did she let the tears fall. She collapsed on her cream colored sofa and sobbed. Finally, after seven years, she was able to mourn her loss. She was able to mourn the loss of her son and her marriage. She was able to let it all go. She fell asleep on the sofa and no nightmares woke her or Eve up. It was quiet in the Kincade household.
And somewhere from up above the sound of a sigh relief could, vaguely, be heard. Mark Kincade just hoped that his wife could now move on with her life. He had watched her, constantly since his death. He could tell that she hurt and it hurt him that he wasn't able to comfort her. He watched with a sense of helplessness as his daughter woke up screaming for him at night. He watched with despair as Jordan continued to sink into depression, hiding it from everyone around her like an old pro. He watched as his family finally confronted his death, head on. And what he observed wasn't good. Jordan was slowly falling apart and Eve could tell. He just hoped now, that she confronted her past, that she'd slowly begin to heal. If not...he could only dread what the future would bring for his wife and daughter.