I always did admire you, even when you were just a general under our Lord Darigan. You rose in power and toke over the citadel. A very bold move, but you pulled it off and the people followed you. I can't say I'm surprised they did. Every time you spoke you had everyone's full attention including mine. You were still the general when I first tried to join your ranks though. A woman has no place in war I'm told, but that wasn't going to stop me from trying. I'll never forget the night you gave me a chance to prove myself. Naturally I was nervous and the crowd that had gathered was only making it worse. The hiss of your sword being drawn quickly drowned out the snickering and whispering. For a brief moment I started to doubt my choice to do this and barely had time to block the first strike…there was so much force behind it I had to step back to keep from falling. So that was your plan, finish me off quickly and get it over with, that's what I was thinking to myself as the fight continued. I wasn't doing so bad I thought…until it started to rain and that spelled my doom.

I slipped in the mud just as your sword came around for another vicious attack. It was too late; I couldn't block it. I bit back my cry of pain as the sharp edge of steel cut a deep gash in my arm. My sword fell to the ground as I dropped to my knees and clutched the bleeding wound with head hung low. I could see the crowd walking away and they're laughter rung in my ears. No, it wasn't over yet! With a growl I jumped back up, sword gripped tightly in both hands as I lunged at the smirking form in front of me. Each time I was forced back I grew angrier with myself and drove myself that much harder into the next attack. The third time I was forced to the ground with a boot planted firmly on my chest. I was too tired to struggle and knew it was pointless anyway; I had lost. Your smirk turned to a faint smile as you helped me up. You said I had spirit and determination. I was to meet you and Lord Darigan in the war room the next morning.

It was a good thing no one could tell when I blush that morning. The praise I got from our lord for lasting so long in the match against you was enough to make anyone blush. Seeing you smile when Lord Darigan said I would be serving under you made my heart stop. I had never really seen you smile till then. I had to have more training, not that I was complaining…specially considering most of the training you handled personally. It wasn't long before we were fighting side by side to protect our home and aid Meridell. Things started to slowly changing though. The darkness in your heart grew to the point you would scare me at times. When I was out on a scouting mission what I feared had finally happened. You had overthrown our lord. I hurried back to the citadel after I received the news, but it was too late. I don't remember your speeches too well…I think I was too busy trying to convince myself that everything was going to be alright, but the people's morale was always high and then you started talking about going to war with Meridell…

You questioned my loyalty one day in the war room when it was only you and I in there. I wasn't quite sure where I stood anymore. Everything had changed so quickly and was about to change even more.

"You doubt me, Kalista?"

"No…I doubt your actions. Your talk of war is madness…it scares me.."

Your eyes softened as you looked down at me and then turned to head down the hall to your chambers.

"Come with me."

I followed without question not sure what it was you wanted. The doors were pushed open and you motioned for me to go inside. I had only been inside the room once and that was only for a brief moment to deliver a message. I took a moment to look around before turning my attention back to you to see a smile slowly spread across your face. I had only seen that smile once before and it was a very welcoming sight at the moment. I think I nearly forgot to breathe as you pulled me to you and wrapped your arms around me. I'm no small kougra, but standing there like that with you I felt so small...and safe. As quickly as you unbuckled the small clasps holding on the light armor you had made for me I couldn't help but wonder how many times you had imagined doing this. Gods know I had lost count. I'm not sure when admiration turned to love, but I would have given anything for what was about to happen before. I'll have to admit I was a little scared. I hadn't been with anyone before…and no one after you…

I laid awake for the longest watching you sleep and wished for all the world that moment could last forever. Like all good things it had to come to an end. The following morning your plans were set in action and again we fought side by side. Our attacks were swift and brutal. We had the upper hand, but the sinking feeling in my heart only grew worse with each passing day. Only with our nights spent together did I forget everything else but you. I wanted the war to hurry and end where I could be with you without fearing the morning after. It was strange though, with me you were so gentle and as soon as business began again you were as cold and heartless as the devil himself.

The day I had feared more than anything was finally here. The war had come to its peak and this day would determine the victor. Before you left to lead your unit into battle you said something I had never heard before. You told me you loved me…I didn't get the chance to tell you the same, but I know you knew how I felt about you. Again we had the upper hand, but something happened we never suspected. Darigan returned and turned the battle in favor for Meridell. I watched in horror as you were struck down and did my best to get to you. Darigan had intended to spare your life, but one of the Meridell knights charged you and sent you over the edge of the cliff with that Meridell hero you and thrown to his death only moments ago. The shouts of the people were nothing more than a mumble as I ran over to the edge of the cliff and dove off after you. The gods had to have been against me that day cause I wasn't fast enough to reach you in time.

I can't explain the pain I felt as I dropped to my knees beside you and held you to me. My world was falling apart around me and there was nothing I could do to stop it. You gave me a weak smile as you closed your eyes and yours words barely loud enough for me to hear.

"I'm free…"

That was the last I heard as you slipped away from me. Now I sit here deep in the Meridell forest where no one dares to come. It's been a few weeks since your death, but I can't pull myself away from your grave. You meant everything to me, Kass…now without you life isn't worth living. I've come close to joining you more than once, but I will see you again one day….for now I live to keep your memory alive.

"I love you too…"