The Ranmayana

Chapter 1: Akane Goes Missing

Kasumi looked around at the table, neatly set for six. She smiled, thinking how much in the house depended on her, then padded to the door and shouted the traditional first coherent sentence of the morning.

"Father! Mr. Saotome! Nabiki! Akane! Ranma! Breakfast is ready!"

From upstairs came Nabiki and Soun Tendo, Nabiki ready for school, her father still half asleep. From down the hall came Ranma and Genma Saotome, Genma already in panda form and Ranma putting the finishing touches on his braid. The household sat down to eat.

It was Kasumi, predictably, who noticed that something was wrong.

"Where's Akane?" she asked.

Ranma gulped down a mouthful and answered. "Haven't seen her."

"Maybe she's still in the bathroom," Nabiki said pragmatically.

"Ranma, will you go check on her?" Kasumi asked, hands clasped in front of her chest.

Ranma stood up, grumbling, and left the room.

They're throwing us together, he thought. Whenever I sleep in, it's her they send, and when she sleeps in, they send me.

Akane was not in the bathroom. Ranma hopped up the stairs two at a time to check her room. He opened the door slowly, ready to slam it shut if his fiancee wasn't dressed. Nothing came flying out at him, so he opened it a little more. There on the bed was-- not Akane-- but a scantily clad girl with her hair in a long ponytail and a black rose in her teeth.

"Kodachi!" he asked. Kodachi was the younger sister of Tatewaki Kuno, the most annoying man alive. More importantly, she had no business being in Akane's room.

"Ranma, take me!" she said, arching her back dramatically.

"WHAT!" Ranma shouted, slamming the door shut. He all but ran back down the stairs.

"Akane's been turned into Kodachi!" he announced to the breakfast table.

"Don't be silly, Ranma," Nabiki admonished him. "Or sillier than usual, at least. People don't randomly turn into other people overnight, you know."

Ranma frowned at the veiled insult. "But I just checked her room and I found Kodachi in there."

A resounding "WHAT?" went up from around the table.

"My poor little girl!" Soun cried. "That Kuno girl must have killed her! Ranma, be a man and avenge your love!"

Genma sympathetically patted him on the back. "Now, now, she's probably just hiding somewhere, old friend. Your Akane's a very strong fighter, you know."

Kasumi, predictably, was the voice of reason. "But how could Kodachi have gotten into our house?" she asked. No one answered.

"Who cares?" said Nabiki, waving her hand dismissively. "After all, she got in, didn't she? Shouldn't we try to get her out?"

Four sets of eyes turned to Ranma.

"What are you looking at me for?" he asked.

---------------

After removing no less than ten packets of aphrodesiac powder from Kodachi's skin-tight leotard and wrestling her out the door, Ranma sadly gave up on breakfast and decided to search Akane's room for clues to her disappearance. Everything seemed to be in order, until he opened the closet. There lay Ryoga in his pig form, unconscious, trussed up like a-- well, like a pig-- with a note stuffed in his mouth. Ranma carefully removed the note and unfolded it.

The note read as follows:

To my unworthy student:
No doubt by now you have discovered your fiancee missing. Don't worry, she is safe-- I would never harm my dear, sweet Akane, unlike you, who seem to take a childish delight in torturing her. Don't plan on seeing her again, though. I have taken her far away into a particular village in the mountains where we shall be wed, and there is not a thing you can do about it. This foolish pig tried to stop me, and you can see what happened to him. Your fate would be even worse should you try to interfere with my plans.

The signature was impossible to read, but Ranma already knew who had written the note.

"Happosai," he growled, crumpling the note in his fist.

A/N: Sorry if it's kinda short, but it seemed like a good place to end it. The next one will be longer, I promise.