Disclaimer: I don't own Shadow Hearts, or the characters, those belong to Nautilus; but I do own the different confrontation in Domremy. I shouldn't have to say this: no borrowing or "snippets" without my explicit permission.
Part 13
The Shrine was at the end of a grassy forest path and inside a cave. The cave mouth opened up wide, bright, and clean, and lead along a well-worn path to a natural grotto. A waterfall splashed down through a break in the cave roof sending a misty fog through the shrine and sunlight caught the water drops and cast rainbows within. The pool itself was clear and surprisingly dark, the rainbow of light not touching the surface. At the head of the pool stood a Japanese woman and Karin looked at her intensely from behind Yuri. She seems so familiar, she thought.
"I'm glad you all could make it. I'm Saki, leader of the Inugami," the woman said, pausing to look over the group at the edge of the pool. To Karin, looking her up and down, she seemed quite beautiful, almost ageless. From her purple hippari to her green hakama, she was the image of a perfectly modern Japanese woman. Yet her eyes, they're like Yuri's, she thought.
"This is the Fountain of Sukune," Saki continued and her voice, while feminine, was firm, commanding, and she had their undivided attention as she gestured at the pool. "Within its holy mirror you may see many mysterious things. It has always warned of evil omens, but days ago it began to warn of the greatest threat ever to be witnessed in this world. There is a great disturbance in the ley lines running through Japan." She paused to look again at the group assembled before her, holding for a moment on the three standing foremost: Kurando, Karin and Yuri. More softly she said: "It is not by chance that you come to Katsuragi at this time. Understand?"
Yuri, standing next to Karin, nodded once.
"Are you Yuri?" Saki asked, and her eyes were riveted onto the young fusionist.
"Yeah," he said.
"I see," Saki responded softly and Yuri suddenly blushed in confusion and embarrassment. Karin looked from Saki to Yuri and wondered, feeling a little pang of jealousy.
"It is now time to find the one you have all been searching for," Saki resumed and stepped back, her feet easily carrying her to the center of the fountain. Karin watched, caught the sudden blurring of the woman's eyes, the sudden pull of directed energy, and she gasped. This woman is like Lucia – only so much stronger, she thought.
Slowly, Saki began to move, a light mincing step, a fan in one hand moving gracefully, as if dancing to a melody only she could hear. The movements were ritual, directed at the four corners of the pool, and Karin felt a sudden thrill run through her as she heard clearly, distinctly, temple bells chiming. The mist moved out over the pool, until Saki finally stopped, pointing her fan at Yuri and, with a flick, the mists cleared. The dark pool became as clear as glass, stars shining in the crystal darkness and Karin felt herself falling into it, the pull of the vision bringing her to the edge of the well. The stars moved in the mirror, swirling around to reveal a planet, and then focused down further to a large volcanic mountain covered in clouds and snow.
"What's that mountain," she asked and Yuri, also standing at the well's edge replied: "Fujisan. Mount Fuji."
He stepped closer, the toes of his boots hanging over the edge of the well and the mirror began to gyrate, pulling them in closer and closer, through dark chasms and into the heart of the volcano. Rivers of magma suddenly glowed in the dark and Karin felt herself beginning to shiver, her nerves firing off distress signals. She thought she saw Masaji Kato in a lava-filled chamber, his strange escort with him, but then the image moved on, plunging deeper and deeper into the very heart of the fiery volcano, at last to settle on a man. Naked, curled up like an embryo, fists clenched as if in agony –
"Nicholai," she breathed and next to her, Yuri said:
"No, it's Astaroth." Suddenly her world was spinning. She moved away from the mirror, the images of light and dark, fire and rock, burning into her eyes. She felt the cold stone at her back and slid to the ground, the voices of Yuri, Saki and the others echoing in her ears, melding with the waterfall and the sounds of combat. But Karin no longer saw the waters of the shrine or the fires of Mount Fuji. Her eyes saw the dim lights of Domremy, flickering candles in their sconces, and a white-clad exorcist.
"Karin," the voice was soft and almost a whisper. "Karin."
On the floor of the church, her back to the wooden doors, Karin lay asleep. Her hair was loose, falling down around her shoulders and a strand was across her eyes, shielding them from the yellow-white light of the tapers.
"Karin," the voice said again and she blinked, opening silver-grey eyes to the dim church and looking around as she slowly sat up. Cat-like she stretched, slowly extending her legs, and climbing to her feet. She looked up toward the altar, the starlight in the rose window a mere glitter of magic. A sound behind her spun her around and there, in the dark by the front doors, stood Nicholai Conrad. He was tall and clean, and his clothing crisply pressed, and he didn't look at all like someone who had just survived a firefight.
"Nicholai," she said, and her voice quavered just a little.
"I have come for you, Karin," he said, and he stepped out into the church aisle, one arm raised, hand extended. "Please, come with me?" he asked.
"For me?" Karin asked, confused. She looked around the church quickly, not seeing anyone else.
Nicholai took another step forward, his hand still extended. "Please, come with me," he said again and she was more puzzled, wondering why he would be here, what he wanted with her. "Karin, please. If you continue with this foolishness, you and Yuri will end up being killed by Rasputin's assassins." Ah, the crux of it, she thought.
"Yuri will never lose," she said, her words a declaration.
Nicholai walked slowly up the aisle, passing her to stand looking at the altar.
"You believe in him?" he asked quietly.
"Yes," she said.
Nicholai turned to her, crooking one arm to rest his chin in his hand. He appeared to be thinking, but his eyes were on her, roving over her in a hungry fashion and Karin shivered. What is he doing here? she thought. And where is everyone?
"I can see you truly care for him," he said finally. "You are right. He won't lose. So, I guess you don't need me then, eh?"
Startled, Karin took a step back. Looking closely she could see he had a look of sad amusement in his eyes. Need him? Why would he ask that, unless…
"Wh-what do you mean?"
Nicholai moved slightly, lowering his arms and, with tilted head, looked at her intently. Behind him, light began to enter from the Rose window, streaming in, illumining Nicholai in a nimbus of white, while his face remained in shadow.
"I don't want to kill you. He'll force me to, and I don't wish it," he said softly, his voice a mere whisper in the church.
Karin blinked. What she hearing this right? "What exactly are you saying, Nicholai? Tell me."
He shook his head and the light turned his hair into gold.
"Don't you understand how important you are? That is what I'm trying to explain to you." He turned slightly and pointed back down the aisle where, in the shadows, Yuri lay sleeping. "What exactly has that boy done for you?" he asked and Karin looked down at Yuri. Curled in a fetal position, legs drawn close, his arms curled around and one pillowing his head, he looked like a child in sweet repose. Yes, a child. "No matter how much you may love him, his heart belongs to another woman," Nicholai said and his voice had dropped an octave.
At those hurtful words, Karin bit her lip. She turned back to see that he had also moved closer.
"What are you saying, Nicholai?" she asked and her voice low, soft and tremulous.
"Don't you see? He'll never be able to give you what you need." He stepped closer and pulled her into his embrace, slowly, gently. "Warmth, comfort, love. Karin, I can give you all the love you want and need."
His words were true and she wanted to deny them with all her heart; but his words were seductive as well, and his arms encircling her so carefully were strong and, when she looked up into his green eyes, she saw they glowed with an inner fire.
"Nicholai, please stop," she whispered. "I can't..."
He tightened his hold on her, bending slightly to put his mouth to hers, and at the first touch, she felt again the fire burning within her, the desire she'd felt that day in the rain. And, in spite of her feelings for Yuri, she let it burn.
His lips were cool as he kissed her, trailing a shiver of minty ice down her cheek and around to her ears. He held her close, his hands splayed across her back while his tongue tickled her earlobe, then thrust carefully within, sending shivers down her spine. Karin found her hands inside his coat and pulling at his buttons, the ping and pop of them pulling free of the cloth a satisfying sound when joined by the moan he made when her lips tasted his cool flesh. She found his nipple and sucked gently before she nipped him quickly, even as his hands moved up to slide beneath her halter, freeing her from its restraints. His bold hands were on her now, cupping her soft flesh, caressing the nipples with his thumbs. His kisses still burned her face like ice, and she opened her mouth, inviting him. He pursued her lips with nips and kisses before sliding his tongue inside, engaging in a small battle within before winning with a deep plunge, tasting her fully before pulling back. She shook her head, pulling on his shirt, wanting his clothing off and he smiled as he obliged, removing the coat quickly before pushing her down to the stone floor.
He loomed over her like a white angel, all light and sparkle as he moved her legs aside and naked, they came together, and she arched up to meet him, bringing him in closer, her hands grasping at him as he plunged in. His mouth met hers and she slaked her thirst on his cool skin, tasting him again and again, and she whimpered softly at the hardness which took her. Her fingers laced through his hair and she pulled him closer, each movement plunging him in and she felt herself burning, fire and ice melding together until with a deep shudder she cried out his name and could only ride the waves of her passion until he too cried out, her name echoing in the stone church.
He lay atop her, elbows on either side and he looked down at her with eyes of deepest emerald. Karin was gulping deep breaths that brought her close to him and Nicholai bent down, putting his mouth on the offered softness, sucking on her breast, licking it with his cool tongue. Karin shuddered, her arms raised up and twined around his neck, wanting him to continue.
Nicholai's mouth moved over her breasts, kissing softly, licking his way up her throat, sending shivers down her spine to join the wanting shivers below. She felt her world tilting crazily, lying on the church floor, ravishing and being ravished and wanting more.
"Nicholai," she breathed just before he kissed her again, and with each kiss came a word, spoken between the soft caress of his lips.
"A woman needs love to be fulfilled, Karin," he said as his lips kissed her eyes, her lashes fluttering with the feathery gentleness of the kiss. "I can bring you such happiness, such joy. If you would but join me," he breathed and Karin found herself falling into his words and the thrill of his kisses, her pulse pounding madly at each feathery caress of his lips and at the press of his hands and the hardness of his body. She wanted him. She wanted him again and moved beneath him, inviting and he smiled as he kissed her.
"I can give you anything, you can achieve anything," his voice whispered to her as he entered her again, hard to her soft, ice to her fire and she felt again the trembling of her world as it tilted, spinning away on passion and flames. "Anything you desire," he whispered again. "Fame. Fortune. Your family..." the words trailed away into the echoes of the church and Karin shuddered, a sudden cold frisson stabbing at her center.
My family...
Karin felt the cold hardness of him as Nicholai took her and the fire that burned at her center, the flames of her passion, died. My family. My family. They're all dead. She looked up at his green jade eyes, saw the fires of passion and lust, and knew this was not right.
Suddenly she began to squirm, to wiggle and push, getting her legs between her and the man who had taken her to the heights of passion just moments before.
"No!" she cried. "No, no – stop this!" She pushed and kicked, freeing herself to roll away, her naked flesh chilled by the cold stones and she climbed to her feet, looking across to Nicholai. He was handsome, well shaped, and formed in erotic beauty and she wanted him all over again, her body feeling his hands, his strength caressing her, and her knees threatened to collapse.
"No, this isn't right," she said and trembled with reaction.
Nicholai had risen to his feet, his arms open and outstretched to welcome her, his male hardness an invitation.
"Karin, I love you," he said softly. "Yes, I love you," but Karin turned away. She heard him move closer and flinched when his hands touched her, resting on her shoulders, fingers firm, caressing, reaching around to cup her breasts, and she fought the tremors that threatened her insides as she felt his hardness between them, and the desire for him that was warring with her mind.
"I- I don't love you. I feel – I feel sorry for you," she said, saying the first words to come to her mind. The sound of them was an anchor against the desire for him that threatened to topple her over and she moved away, to stand nearer the sleeping fusionist yet lying in the corner. "You manipulate people's hearts, Nicholai," she said and felt stronger, her eyes gazing at Yuri.
Nicholai moved up behind her again, reaching out but not touching.
"Can you truly say you don't care for me at all, Karin? After what we have shared?" His voice was honey, and Karin shook her head, her arms wrapped around her.
"You're manipulating me, Nicholai. But what is it you really want?" He did not answer and she felt the fire in her dampen, falling back into her control. "You think you can hide your true self behind your smooth talk and your good looks." She turned to look at him, the sight of his handsome maleness threatening her resolve. He is handsome. And I do want him. But, he's using us, using me - all passion and lust. She shook herself, catching her thoughts and locking them firmly behind her resolve. "Is that how you've been able to get to where you are now, by manipulation?" she asked, and then stood taller, her shoulders back at attention, one hand quickly tugging at the short orange skirt. "Well it won't work. Not on me."
"Karin, think about this. I love you. I truly love you – I do," he said and Karin caught the almost desperate tone of his words. He was trying to win her but, she realized, he had already lost. He had lost to Astaroth, he had lost to Yuri and he had lost to her.
"Goodbye, Nicholai. You and I were never meant to be together."
Clothed in white, his eyes of emerald green, the exorcist stood before her with a look of shock before his features began to change, slowly. He reached out for her, his hands toward her throat, and Karin raised her head in pride and defiance. Do your worst. You're not Nicholai, she thought and the hands slipped around her neck, thumbs to her throat before a guttural scream filled the church.
"Karin!" Nicholai screamed voice cracking and desperate, and she opened her eyes to see him fade away. Turning away, she went to Yuri's side, kneeling and gently touching his hair, the echoes of Nicholai's cry dying as the light in the church faded away.
She heard birds chirping and felt the gentle touch of a breeze on her hot skin and Karin opened her eyes. She was in an upstairs bedroom, the window open to the garden beyond, a nearby tree shading the glass with laughing leaves that danced in the wind.
"A dream," she breathed.
"So you're finally awake," Lucia said from her place by the window. She was sitting in a window seat, a table placed at her knees and her cards laid out on it. "We were worried when you suddenly collapsed back there."
Karin nodded, sitting up on the bed.
"I thought I heard fighting," she said. "Is everyone all right?"
"Oh, yes," Lucia drawled. "They all died," she said with a smile and Karin laughed.
"Sorry I frightened you," she said and looked around the elegant room. It was a room with floor and furnishings of simple, unpainted but highly polished wood, and paper on the walls with spring flowers. A screen to one side offered privacy for dressing and a clothes press was against one wall. "Where are we?"
"This is Saki's home, on a hill above the shrine," Lucia said. Karin felt Lucia's eyes on her and turned to catch the wide-eyed look the dancer often held while seeing visions.
"Are you seeing things for me?" she asked, and when Lucia shook her head, "Well that's good. I've had enough of visions for a while."
"What happened, Karin?"
Karin shook her head, running her long fingers through her messy hair. Lucia rose and crossed the room, snatching up a comb from the dresser, and sitting next to Karin on the bed.
"Here, let me," she said and brushed Karin's hands away. Karin let Lucia comb through the tangles, and Lucia began to tell her what happened after she had fainted. When the last knot and snarl was carefully worked out, Karin turned on the bed to look at Lucia.
"You really are a friend, Lucy. But I don't want to tell you what happened. I – I had put it out of my mind until I saw Nicholai – no, Astaroth, in the mirror." She shuddered, and the Italian beauty gathered her into her warm embrace.
"I know, Karin. We both have nightmares. You've held me up, so now I'll hold you," Lucia said softly, and Karin leaned into her friend's embrace, tears beginning to splash down as she cried quietly.
After a little while, Karin pulled herself together, giving Lucia a brief hug as her thanks, and the dancer silently rose from the bed, stretching as she did so. She set the comb aside and then gathered up her cards.
"It turns out Saki is Kurando's mother," she said to the silent room and Karin looked up.
"Oh?"
Lucia shrugged as she put her cards in her pack. "And one more thing," she said when she turned to leave. "Saki is Yuri's aunt."
"His aunt?" Karin felt surprise and confusion all at once.
"Yup," Lucia smiled, not catching her giggles as she walked from the room.
"His aunt," Karin said.
Saki was in her upstairs bedroom when Karin came knocking. She was invited in, and found the older woman sitting on her bed, hands folded as if in prayer. "Am I disturbing you?" she asked and when the elegant Japanese lady shook her head, Karin entered. "Lucia told me what happened. Are you all right? Is there anything I can do?" Saki smiled at her, gesturing for Karin to take the window seat while she rose and brought over a chair.
"No, I am fine now. The demon in Fujisan tried to control me, to get to the others, but Yuri and Kurando took care of it," she said as she sat, carefully setting her hakama in order; her long black hair was secured in a loop with a small chain and she patted it, guiding a loose strand back into the loop.
"They didn't hurt you?" Karin asked, ready to pull a healing crest from her small belt pouch.
Saki shook her head. "No, not at all. In fact, Yuri was quite solicitous, which I found amusing. He's so like my brother, inside and out, yet he's such a brash young man."
Karin nodded. "Yes, he is - brash I mean." She looked down at her hands resting in her lap and let the sun from the window, which was breaking through the leaves outside in little slips of light, warm her. Saki, seated before her like a queen on a throne, was watching her and Karin could feel her eyes, those strange eyes so similar to Yuri's, as they seemed to pierce her soul.
"You care for him, don't you?" Saki asked.
Karin put a hand to her throat, hesitating to answer, yet wanting so much to confide in this woman who knew Yuri in the past, when he was a child, before he had met...
"Yes, I – I like him a lot," she finally said, finding her voice.
Saki nodded, a slight inclination of her head. Karin felt tremors running through her; she was more nervous now, here in the room with Saki, than she had ever been facing her troops or her commanding officer. This woman is Yuri's aunt, his family, she thought. How important she must be for him, or him to her. Would he be angry to find me talking about him with her? Or will she think I'm some demented, crazy woman?
"A woman like me..." dare I ask her? She'll think I'm crazy, I know she will... "Do you think he could ever love me?" What kind of idiotic question is that? Ah Meine Gott, I'm a fool!
"Love you?" Saki asked and Karin caught the surprise in the question. She looked up, catching Saki's blood-dark eyes staring at her, and felt her world beginning to spin, crazily.
She's his aunt for Gott's sake! What are you doing? "I mean, you'd know... as his aunt." Karin's fingers were twined tightly around themselves and she felt the tiny snap as one fingernail broke beneath the pressure of her thumb. But, in the next moment, Saki laughed, a throaty amusement that told her so many things about this woman, and relieved her stress.
"Oh come now; don't be silly, of course he could love you," and Karin smiled at the words, the laughter, and Saki's warm, familiar smile. "He is a man after all, and men do fall in love."
Karin sighed, sitting back in the window seat, looking out to the garden below. In one corner, a gardener was kneeling, bent back hunched in effort to weed a small patch and Karin felt oddly at peace. She doesn't think me mad, Karin thought, but still felt those odd eyes on her, and when she glanced at the Inugami woman, she saw those same strange eyes blurring a little and Saki wiped away a tear before Karin could comment.
"Are you all right?" she asked softly. "I don't mean to disturb you. If it's too much after your ordeal…?" Saki shook her head slightly, the jingle of a small ornament in her long hair tinkling with the movement.
"Just a thought; how you reminded me of someone. I noticed it before but…" she shrugged. "I'll have to look for that," she said oddly then turned a smile onto Karin. "But, Karin, what is it exactly, that is worrying you? You can tell me."
Karin caught herself. Of course, she would want to know... Karin brought her mind back to the puzzle at hand – Yuri, and her feelings for him.
"I haven't told him how I feel," she said slowly, then "it's just that I know he doesn't feel the same way."
Saki looked at Karin with a mother's eyes. "Are you're sure?"
Karin nodded. "He's still in love with Alice." And when Saki tilted her head, Karin rushed on. "His lover. She died protecting him." She rose abruptly and paced the room, energy filling her, and a desire to escape. Where would you run to, you silly woman? She's not going to bite – no, that's not it. You aren't running away – you're running toward… toward what? She tugged her short shirt down before turning around and facing Saki from a few feet away, her fists now clenched at her sides. "But I love him too, more than anything. Only I don't – I don't think he knows how I feel."
"I see," she said and looked down at her hands. "But you plan to fight for him, don't you?"
Karin nodded. "Yes." Fight for him… win him… protect him…
Saki nodded once and sighed. She rose and glanced out the window, sniffing the warm air.
"It gets so hot here in summer," she said. "Jin was used to it of course, but his wife complained about it." She turned back to Karin. "I believe Yuri and Kurando are in the village. Perhaps you'll find him there."
Karin nodded, a small frown creasing her brow. She felt more puzzled now than before she had walked in; what is it with Inugamis? she wondered. Kurando is just as bad.
She left the quiet house and searched the village but found no sign of Kurando or Yuri. She stopped at the drying barn and spoke with the old grandmother; she smiled toothlessly up at Karin and asked her if she had seen her grandson anywhere. After a few minutes of useless banter, she moved on. When she returned to the Inugami house she spotted the brightly painted caravan wagon of the brothers Mazymell. Pierre showed her his latest fashions and, when she asked after Yuri, Gerard informed her he had bought supplies and headed into the woods.
"Alone?" she asked, worried.
"Ah no," Pierre replied, putting the adorable blue and white sailor's outfit back in its box. "He was with a very handsome swordsman... and a young girl."
Then he's with Kurando, she thought. And Anastasia. She had heard from the locals already how dangerous the forest had become lately, with monsters and other creatures suddenly appearing, and she had no desire to traipse through those woods alone. Instead, she turned up the path toward the Fountain of Sukune, taking shelter in its rainbow-covered coolness. She sat at the water's edge letting the fingers of one hand trail in the cold water, the mist of the falls and the rainbow of light blurring the edges of her vision and she looked down into the water.
I could look for him, she thought. I may not be as good as Lucia, and certainly nothing like Saki, but I could look for him. He's there; in there, and she refused to mention, even in her mind, the place that disturbed her so. I love him. I love Yuri. I have to tell him. I should have told him long ago, in Russia. After ApoinaTower – I should have told him how I felt. But it never seemed the right time. This isn't the right time either; we're going to Fuji, to fight Nicholai.
"Nicholai," she said softly and her voice reverberated off the rocks and the chamber roof, bouncing back to her like a whisper. Nicholai.