Disclaimer: You know the drill; I don't own Hogan's Heroes.

Author's note: Yes, I know it's short. The next one will be longer, I promise. Also, I'll entertain suggestions about what Muller sees/doesn't see. I have some ideas in mind, but I welcome suggestions.

Thanks as always to Suzanne of Dragon's Breath and everyone who reviewed.

Gestapo Dossier: Colonel Robert E Hogan, USA
Observations of Lieutenant Karl Muller, Gestapo
Sent to Major Wolfgang Hochstetter, Hammelburg Gestapo Headquarters
Decoded message follows:

Day 10:

If nothing else, my experience earlier today proves that something odd is going on at Stalag 13.

I was included in a work detail that repaired a bomb-pitted road not far from camp. I figure that this is a fairly common assignment, and that I was chosen because I am too new to know how to avoid the back-breaking labor it entails. This is seen as a duty that should be avoided at all costs, yet Hogan and his staff were among the prisoners on the detail.

Hogan's inclusion is not unreasonable. He spent most of the day supervising the other prisoners and chatting with the sergeant of the guard. However, there was no reason for his staff to join him. They, of all people, should be able to avoid the duty. The only legitimate reason for them to come I can think of is to raise the morale of the other prisoners, as well as to encourage them to participate. This does not seem accurate. I have a hard time imagining that Hogan could keep men on his staff long if the only reward is only hard labor, though this theory could explain why these particular men are on hiss staff.

I find it strange that, in the several hours we were outside the perimeter of the camp, there was not one of the more than thirty prisoners attempted to escape. We were away from the camp's security, there were minimal guards, the road itself wound through rather thick vegetation; it was an escaping prisoner's ideal setting. I thought he was even more of an idiot (if that is even possible) for courting an escape this way, yet his confidence was justified. This fact alone shows that the prisoners must want to remain so for some reason.

It is certainly not fear of the guards that is keeping the prisoners here. I came in close contact with the sergeant of the guard, one Hans Schultz, today, and think he can be ruled out as the de facto commander of Stalag 13. I did not think it was possible to be more inept than Klink, but somehow Schultz manages. I don't think he can see more than two feet in front of his face, he almost fell asleep while guarding us (and he was standing up!), and I once saw him hand his rifle to a prisoner. He frequently says he knows nothing, and I must say I agree. He has yet to prove to my satisfaction that he even knows his own name.

There was one other odd event today. We were working on the road, so it was effectively closed. This, however, did not prevent a staff car from trying to use it not long after we began, and the car was delayed for several minutes while we worked to clear the road. Unfortunately, I was around a bend at that time, so I was unable to observe Hogan and Schultz's reactions to it, but I find the car's presence suspect.

Now I am off to take a cold shower—the closest this cesspit comes to a hot bath. For that reason alone I think the prisoners would try to escape.