Hey everyone, sorry for the long lapse, no motivation for writing I suppose (plus I couldn't think of anything to write) …and I've been downloading a lot of yaoi/shonen ai manga lately… hehe… oops.. hehe.
This chapter is really… weird. Its kind of cute and normal to start with then… Yugi gets weird… then the last part… whoa… you will see. Hehe. (Then again, when has this fic been really normal? Maybe to begin with…)
Thanks to: NaruCrawford (More JS! Hehe, no Duke, sorry!), Alpha Slave (THIS MAKES ME SO ANGRY! I WROTE A REALLY LONG REVIEW FOR ONE OF YOUR FICS AND FFN CUT IT OFF! I ALMOST SCREAMED! IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO WRITE IT TOO! GRARG! …anyway.. hehe, yes, bad Yami), Nina wyndia (hehe, thanks, interesting way to put it), Chrisoriented (well, first you get HIV, then in about 10 years it turns into AIDS… and then you die.. after you get sick.. sad really. Really really sad! Now I'm sad. Don't know what to do with your 3 F's… wow hehe), Felidae x 2 (You will see why Shadi is needed… BWHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH! coughs I'm so glad you like the pain, meheh), PeachyKay (I loved your review, it made me laugh really hard, hehehe, poor Ryou. Mehehe… now what will happen to Ryou in the future.. MWHAHAHAHAHAH! You shall like it greatly), QueenOfGames2 (what, you still don't like Tristan? Hehehe. Your review also made me laugh for a really long time. Hehehe thanks for it o Squeal piggy! Hehe. I have a.. fetish with cops and little boys… OMG I JUST ADMITTED IT!), Howling Fang (Aw thank you! ), Katie (hehe, you didn't think I would actually email you back, hehe well I did. Now you have to email me back! Hehe, I'm glad you friends like it so much, and that you like it so much too u yay! Hehe)
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR ALL YOUR REVIEWS! I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD GET SO MANY (dies) (screams) (faints)
Here's a quote: "In case of emergency, break glass, scream, bleed to death." By… someone funny I suppose! (I was crying earlier so I'm extra hyper now)
Hey everyone, this chapter is dedicated to the song: Flamboyant by Pet Shop Boys (why am I dedicating this to that? Probably cause I was listening to it over and over and over and over and over again… while I wrote this. Along with Miracles by them.)
Chapter XXX: What I Wish For…
OMG A LINE!1 OMG A LINE!1 OMG A LINE!1 OMG A LINE!1 OMG A LINE!1 OMG A LINE!1 OMG A LINE!1 OMG A LINE!1 OMG A LINE!1 OMG A LINE!1
"Whoa… Is that the house we're staying at?" Joey asked gawking out the helicopter window.
"No, we are staying in the woods behind the house, I hope you don't mind the outdoors." Joey glared. "What? You were asking for it? It was such an obvious answer, it is the only house we've seen for about an hour and we are headed straight towards it… Don't blame me for your stupidity."
"Ya'know Kaiba, I was just thinking that you were nice person but I'm not so sure anymore…"
"I never claimed to be a nice person."
"Yeah well if you said that to anyone they would lock you up for insanity or something." That produced a smirk on Kaiba's face. Joey smiled and prodded Kaiba in the side. "Now ya just got to work on that crazy smile of yours and you'd have it down."
Please remain seated while we land—
"Yay! We're here! So, what are we gonna do first? Huh huh huh?"
Kaiba closed his eyes and gave and exaggerated sigh. "For Pete's sake, calm down you mad dog. Its.. 6:34 am," he said checking his watch, "we could have breakfast.."
"I'm tiiiired! Let's go to sleeeep." Joey said giving Kaiba large brown puppy eyes. Joey grabbed Kaiba's arm and leaned in close to his ear. "Let's cuddle in bed."
Kaiba felt his face heat up a little bit. "Yeah, okay."
Joey licked his tongue along the outside of Kaiba's ear. "Sweet."
XVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV(the new line cause it keeps getting deleted! damnit!)VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVX
Kaiba flipped back the fluffy white comforter of the bed and crawled in. This reminded him of his old girlfriend, the way they would cuddle under the blankets on cold stormy nights, shaking together sharing warmth. But she was no more. He willed himself not to remember her, she was a conniving bitch.
Joey slipped in next to him, wrapping his arms around Kaiba's shoulders. Kaiba nestled his head under Joey's chin and sighed.
"Are you happy Kaiba?"
Kaiba ran his hand along the hairs on Joey's arm. "I think so."
"I am. I love being this way with you."
"Yeah..me too..."
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It was just a little past ten when Joey woke up again. He stretched carefully as to not wake Kaiba but he found sharp blue eyes staring at him. "Oh, you're awake."
Kaiba said nothing, he just stared.
"What?" Joey asked rubbing his nose against Kaiba's hair. "What's the matter."
Kaiba wriggled his head away.
"Kaiba, what's wrong? What did I do?"
Kaiba pulled his face back. He looked at Joey. "Nothing," He pressed his lips against Joey's slowly letting his tongue touch playfully against the blonde's lower lip. "I just wanted to kiss you."
Joey kissed Kaiba this time. "You surprise me.." He kissed him again, this time on the neck running his tongue up towards his jaw. Kaiba dug his fingers into Joey's hair.
"Joey.."
"…mmm Kaiba…you taste so good.."
"Joey… call me.. Seto.. right now.."
Joey kissed Kaiba hard. "Seto.. how's this feel?" Joey rode his palm up and down Kaiba's abs. Kaiba pushed his stomach up to feel Joey's hand.
"Good. I like.. it.."
"Can I take your shirt off?"
"Yeah.."
XVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVX
"Ryou, I'm home," Dylan said setting paper bags down on the kitchen counter.
Ryou stirred on the couch. He sat up. "Welcome back, get me my food?"
"Of course, its right here," Dylan said holding it over Ryou's head. He snatched it away just as Ryou reached up to grab it. He lowered it to Ryou's eye level then snatched it away as Ryou made another attempt.
"I take it you were an only child," Ryou said calmly, "deprived at that."
"Yup. Enough teasing though, here you go." He held it out for Ryou.
Ryou looked at him warily before reaching out for it. His fingers touched the bag, he started to take hold of it, then it was snatched away again. "Hey!"
"Just kidding, here you go kiddo." Dylan tossed the bag onto Ryou's lap and plopped down next to him tiredly.
"Long day?" Ryou asked as he started to rummage through the bag.
"Yeah, very dull, not many things going on at the office today."
"No patrolling?"
"Office day. Had to file some papers. Quite a few of them actually." Dylan let out a long yawn. "So, will you cook for me?" He asked giving Ryou large puppy eyes.
Ryou pretended to examine his nails. "I suppose I could think about it…"
Dylan whimpered. "How can you be so mean to an old man like me?" He wrapped his arms around Ryou. "Don't you care about me?"
Ryou pushed him away. "An old perverted man is more like it. Now if I cook for you, what will you do in return?"
Dylan looked at Ryou for a moment. "I will read to you from a storybook."
"..What?"
"Well, I'm sure all those little children in Third-World Countries don't get stories read to them after a long days work."
Ryou was silent for a moment in thought. "..Hey!" He smacked Dylan on the shoulder. "I'm not a kid! I'm 17 years old!"
Neither said anything. Somehow saying it out loud turned it into reality, reminded them that it was illegal.
Ryou got up and headed for the kitchen. Dylan said and did nothing but lay back on the couch. It remained quiet all the way through dinner as well, dinner under a flickering light bulb surrounded by towers of cardboard boxes and recycling.
"Thank you, that was delicious," Dylan uttered pushing his plate back, "very good."
Ryou nodded mutely not looking up. This was a relationship, not sex. It was illegal all the same but only this really affected him. He knew this bothered Dylan, not that Dylan was that much older than him. He'd already had sex with a lot of older men than Dylan, so that wasn't so bad. But it was bad to Dylan, because Dylan could get arrested, not that those other men couldn't. Only Dylan would get caught though, because he would be the only one around for seconds.
Some reason this made Ryou smile. For once he wanted one of these men to get caught touching a little boy. It was a cruel thought but a part of him wanted to see Dylan's face on the front page of the newspaper. Arrested for his "Illegal Sexual Relationship with a Minor", arrested for "Raping a Child".
He was a child, raped of all innocence and purity. His smile faded, all he wanted to do was cry. Cry for what was lost long ago.
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Yugi sat on the floor of his room in silence putting together a puzzle. Normally this wouldn't have taken him so long but he couldn't concentrate. He could barely think. Yami left a few hours ago with nothing more than a grunt and Grandpa was off on some weird store related business trip.
He felt so alone. It was so quiet, he hated the quiet, he could always hear his thoughts.
'They left me again..'
'Not hard to figure out why.'
'I wish I didn't have to be alone all the time..'
'Only losers like yourself get left alone, you only have yourself to blame.'
'I try really hard to be nice.. to be likeable..'
'You cant change the way people think about you. You will always be the skimpy little high school kid with no friends, no one will ever really like you.'
'That's.. not.. true..'
'No, it is. You've always known it, they only feel sorry for you. They pity you that's why they hang out with you.. They know that you will always suck as a person, they just have too big of hearts.'
'But.. sometimes.. they seem so..'
'So real? They are good liars.. or… maybe its because you want to believe them.'
'Of course I want to believe them, they.. I want them to like me..'
'They don't. They never will. Nobody will ever like you, you are just as fake as them. You pretend to be so happy, but they will never know otherwise, because depressed people are annoying. No one wants to care about anyone else.. its because humans are selfish and stupid. Stupid creatures.'
'…you're right… I don't want to care about anyone.. I never did.. sometimes I just want everyone to disappear… I don't want to have to care anymore!'
'You don't have to.'
'I cant help it though! A part of me will always care about them!'
'Them? Those people who will never care about you?'
'..is it that terrible?'
'You tell me.'
'….yes… its lonely… so cold and lonely..'
'Living is cold and lonely… living is a pain..'
'But.. I cant change that..'
'Yes you can. You don't have to be alive.'
'But..'
'Living is just pain. As long as you are still alive, you will always be in pain. You will always be alone.'
'But I.. I don't want to die!'
'It doesn't hurt… it feels like being born again.. being set free. Dying is fun..'
'..who… who are you?'
Yugi clutched the pieces of the puzzle to his chest tightly. He curled into a ball on the floor, tears streaming down his cheeks.
'Who are you!'
A sob escaped his lips.
"Who.. who are you…?"
XVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVX
If I had one wish… what would I do with it?
I'd be a princess… a beautiful princess living in a castle in a far away land. Everyday I would dress in my best gowns and brush my long dark hair. I would be tall and skinny and my breasts would be just right. Everyone would love me because I am so beautiful. Inside and out. Every morning the people would say hello to me and offer me a rose. I would sing my good morning back and take all the roses and make them a crown. My prince would meet me and take me on his high stallion. We would ride for hours and never get tired. He would take me to his castle and make me a very happy woman. He would kiss me and caress me and run his fingers through my hair. He would carefully remove my dress and kiss my breasts and tell me he loves me. I would moan for him and show my appreciation. I would kiss him and taste his sweetness. Together we would make love until we couldn't anymore. Then we would sleep, wrapped together in each other's arms.
If I had one wish, I would trade this ugly child-like body of mine for that of a woman's. I would trade my penis for a vagina, trade this ugly chest for a pair of breasts.
I sit here naked, cold tiles beneath my butt. I run the razor against my leg, taking away the dark hairs. Sometimes the razor slides on its side, nicking my skin. My blood makes the white foam pink. In a way its pretty. Unconsciously I do it again. This time the flow is thicker. The pain is biting me but there's a sick sort of pleasure in it.
I wipe my legs off with a white wash cloth, the red making a brilliant rose. Sickly beautiful.
I throw it to the side and lie on my back staring at the light. My hand creeps down across my stomach, brushing against my skin. The light makes my vision white, blank. I feel my fingers wrapping around my penis, touching slowly, giving light tugs. I cant close my eyes, I cant look away. I'm blindly masturbating and for a moment I wonder what it would feel like to have a vagina. What it would feel like for me to touch myself there.
I'm a girl, withering under the man I love. I'm a girl, withering under a man I don't know. I'm a girl, he's raping me…
My fingers are going faster, they are tugging harder.
Every boy I know… every man… Erik… Yugi… Joey… Tristan… my teacher… Matt… even Gozoburo… all fucking my senseless…
Seto… Seto is fucking me… I'm ashamed for a moment, but I cant think. Everything is white and Seto is fucking me. He's pushing into me harder and deeper. He is grunting, I am moaning. I am screaming his name.
"Seto… fuck me… Seto… Seto…" The words are pushing past my lips, forcing their way out of my mouth. I am panting but they are still coming out of me. "Seto..Seto… Seto… fuck!"
Everything is black as my eyes roll back. I am cumming to my brother and I could never have felt better. His hard penis in my vagina, his tongue down my throat, I'm screaming as he rapes me…
It's cold here on the floor and the light is hurting my eyes. I wipe my hand against my leg. I see blood and panic, but its only my leg. My leg is still bleeding.
I don't want to move, what would I do anyway? Masturbating is the only thing to do on a long boring weekend.
For now I will sleep, and dream. I will dream that one day I will be a woman with a woman's body and a vagina and breasts. I will be beautiful and men will fuck me and I will be happy.
To be continued…
Okay…. That last part was really really weird (I hope I didn't scare you guys away with that last part) … you know what.. that last part is probably my favorite part of this whole story (writing wise) It came out the way I wanted it to… and its in first person POV instead of third like usual.
Well, I have nothing else to say really… I hope to update again REALLY SOON (but you all know how frequently I say these things)
You live in a world of excess
where more is more
and less is much less
A day without fame
is a waste
and a question of need
is a question of taste
You're so flamboyant
the way you look
It gets you so much attention
Your sole employment
is getting more
You want police intervention
You're so flamboyant
the way you live
You really care that they stare
And the press deployment
is always there
It's what you do for enjoyment
You live in a time of decay
when the worth of a man
is how much he can play
Every day
all the public must know
where you are, what you do
'cause your life is a show and
You're so flamboyant
the way you live
and it's not even demeaning
You're so flamboyant
It's like a drug
you use to give your life meaning
You're so flamboyant
The way you look
It gets you so much attention
Your sole employment
Is getting more
You want police intervention
Every actor needs
an audience
Every action is
a performance
It all takes courage
You know it
Just crossing the street
well, it's almost heroic
You're so flamboyant
There you are
at another preview
In a pose
the artist and you
To look so loud
may be considered tacky
You're so flamboyant
the way you look
It gets you so much attention
Your sole employment
is getting more
You want police intervention
You're so flamboyant
The way you live
You really care that they stare
And the press deployment
is always there
It's what you do for enjoyment
You're so flamboyant
You're so flamboyant
Flamboyant by Pet Shop Boys… hmm, this song seems to apply to some of the characters. What a coincidence. (sorry the lyrics made it look like a really long update. I will write more next time.)
PS: ...ffn is pissing me off as always... they always delete my lines! MY BEAUTIFUL LINES I WORK SO HARD TO PUT IN!