Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize is mine. Muller is mine. Ask before you borrow him; he's not a very nice person.

Author's notes: Thanks as always to Suzanne of Dragon's Breath for the beta, and also to those who took the time to review.

Gestapo Dossier: Colonel Robert E Hogan, USA
Observations of Lieutenant Karl Muller, Gestapo
Sent to Major Wolfgang Hochstetter, Hammelburg Gestapo Headquarters
Decoded message follows:

Day 20

I have no idea how such a smart man can do something so stupid.

I have seen what passes for an escape attempt here, and I must say I have never seen such a poorly conceived, ill planned, asinine venture, ever. Were I the kommandant, I would have them all shot for sheer stupidity, though that would be hypocritical on Klink's part. The way Klink handled the so-called escape almost rivals the attempt for idiocy.

The escaping prisoners—Hogan among them—decided to escape in the time-honored fashion of cutting through the wire and running. They didn't even make it to the tree line.

However, I do not believe they should have gotten as far as they did. They did nothing to draw the attention of guards away from them, and they were not exactly quiet when they cut the wire.

And their "punishment!" Klink gave them each three days in the cooler. Only three days! I'm surprised there are still prisoners in this camp. Klink did not even try to discover where they got the wire cutters. I'm surprised he remembered to confiscate them.

While I have as yet been unable to confirm the presence of an underground cell, I do have proof that the prisoners are not only adept at concealing things from that idiot Klink, but that they also have a means of smuggling things into camp.

They make wine.

I understand that most camps have some sort of bootlegging; this goes far beyond turning Red Cross package and mess hall leftovers into barely potable alcohol. This is taking grapes, pressing them, and bottling and ageing the juice. Hogan's cracks about digging wine cellars aside, this is not an easy process to hide.

The presence of grapes alone proves the prisoners have contacts outside the wire. Though grapes do grow wild in the area, they do not grow in the compound, and I believe even Klink would notice if "escaping" prisoners returned with bunches of grapes. The prisoners must either bribe a guard to pick the grapes for them—which means they could use that guard to obtain other contraband—or they have a way to exit and reenter the camp without Klink noticing.

This is defiantly an area I will investigate further. I may be a New York City native, but I'm sure I can invent a cousin who worked in a winery. Hopefully I'll be recruited.

I believe they are coming to trust me. They did offer me the wine, something they would not do for an obvious plant, as much because they would not to waste good alcohol on a German as for fear that a spy would draw the conclusions I have. This bodes well, and when they see no reprisals result from letting me in on this secret, they should hopefully let me in on their other covert activities.

Note: I don't know if grapes are actually native to Germany, but in one episode they were growing within sight of the fence, prompting the heroes to send Schultz out to pick some.