Men with Overactive Libidos

Tsunade, after finishing her third bottle, "You know, all of the guys you've named are better than who I had to deal with on my team, Jiraiya and Orochimaru!"

Anko, Kurenai, and Shizune all said, "Ugh!"

Tsunade, "Yeah, I got stuck with a pervert and a psycho!"

Kurenai, "That Orochimaru's so pale, it'd be like screwing a corpse. Definitely not into necrophilia!"

Anko, "But you know…snake techniques are interesting in bed, long tongue and other possibilities…"

Kurenai, "Eeew, wasn't he your sensei? Did you have those thoughts back then?"

Anko turned very very red. "No! Of course not!"

Tsunade, "Me thinketh thou doth protesteth too much…"

Anko, "Stop slurring your words, I can't understand you anymore!"

Tsunade, "Well, he's only interested in little boys anyway."

Shizune wrote Orochimaru's name in the gay column and gave him one check mark (for Anko).

Kurenai, "Well, Jiraiya isn't so bad looking for a guy his age. He's nice and tall and…big… probably…" She giggled. "He must have a lot of experience and know lots of interesting positions and techniques based on those books...not that I've read any of them of course...

Anko, "Yeah, Godaime, why don't you go for him now. Sure he's perverted, but what does that matter, it's probably a good thing at your age…"

Tsunade, "What is that suppose to mean?"

Anko, "We know you look young but…hey, haven't you gone through menopause?"

Tsunade, completely red, "Now that's totally off limits!!!" Her veins started to pop out of her forehead.

Shizune wrote Jiraiya in the perverted column. She paused and asked, "Umm, who wants to sleep with him?"

Kurenai shrugged. Anko shook her head out of loyalty to her ex-sensei. Tsunade shrugged. Shizune gave him two check marks for the shrugs.

Kurenai, "Hey, do you know who was really hot?"

Anko, "Who?"

Kurenai, "Yondaime! I remember him from when I was little…"
Anko, "Yeah, totally! What a player!"

Kurenai, "Tsunade-sama what was he like?"

Tsunade, "He was a total stud, but remember who his mentor was…"

Anko, "Jiraiya? You mean Yondaime was a perv too?

Tsunade nodded.

Anko sighed, "Too bad, but still I would've done him..."

Kurenai nodded, "Multiple times!"

Tsunade nodded as well.

Shizune wrote his name in the pervert column and gave him four check marks.

Kurenai, "Sigh, who else is there?"

Shizune, "I think we forgot Kakashi…"

Anko, "Kakashi! Who could forget Kakashi!"

Tsunade, "He's another weird one. But what do you expect, he hung out with Yondaime and Jiraiya."

Kurenai, "He's always reading those degrading books in public. I really want to write him up on charges of sexual harassment."

Anko, "Yeah! I'd like to cram that book right up his…"

Kurenai, "Yeah! And he has that cocky I'm so cool by not acting cool attitude!"

Shizune, "Have any of you seen him without his mask?"

Tsunade, "That's beyond weird. I mean, there are other shinobis who wear masks but he takes it to a whole different level."

Anko, "Yeah! 24/7!"

Kurenai, "And he's always late. That's beyond annoying! And I'm sure he does it on purpose just to be annoying!"

Anko, "And he's always making stupid jokes. Totally inappropriate, like he thinks he's so clever!"

Kurenai, "Yeah, Mr. Genius, Mr. Chuunin at 6, Mr. Man of a 1000 jutsus! Hah! Tell that to Itachi! See how far that got ya!"

Anko, "Still, I'd sleep with him…"

Kurenai nodded, "Me too, even if it's just to see what's under that mask."

Tsunade and Shizune nodded as well. Shizune wrote Kakashi under the pervert column and gave him four check marks.

Shizune, "You know…I'm starting to see a pattern here…"

The other three women gazed at her quizzically with bloodshot eyes. Anko and Kuenai picked up their fourth bottle

Shizune, "Look…Jiraiya, Yondaime, Kakashi, they're all perverts and each preceding one was the mentor of the successive one."

Anko, "So who was Jiraiya's mentor?"

Tsunade, "Sandaime! It's all his fault! It's all clear now! Ever since he resumed being Hokage after Yondaime's death, kunoichi enrollment has decreased every year except one! It must be his fault!" She slammed her half empty fourth bottle on her desk.

Kurenai, "That's right! He allowed all these men to perpetuate this environment of hostility against women!"

Anko, "Yeah! I've heard rumors of Sandaime and Jiraiya at the women's baths. It's sexual harassment I tell ya!"

Shizune, "What exactly is sexual harassment?"

The other three stared at her and shook their heads at her naivete.

Shizune, "Well, who's for Sandaime?" No one made any move so Shizune wrote his name under pervert and gave him one check mark out of pity. "Anyone else?" she asked.