Okay, this story came around when I was watching tow the embryos, and I thought 'hmm...space cowboy huh? Now I'm sure that could result in a few cute memories!' So I decided that it was my duty to write this...now, I know Matt LeBlanc doesnt have a huge scar on his leg...well, I dont think he does...but anyway, lets just pretend that he does, shall we? Hehe, I have no idea when this is set, I would say between TOW the metophorical tunnel and TOW the embryos...so you choose! Please read and review!
I do not own friends/actors/characters, but I do own the song 'Space Cowboy' by NSYNC...dont know why that is relevant...
"Wow, Mr Sexy in his new shorts!"
Joey smiled at Rachel's comment, sitting down next to her.
"Yeah, half off too!" he said proudly.
"Good buy my man!" Chandler leaned forward in his chair, studying Joey's shorts intently. "Maybe I should go down and get me a pair."
"What, you and your scrawny legs?" Phoebe giggled, receiving and dirty look from Chandler.
"I do not have scrawny legs! And besides, I wear shorts all the time! In fact, I wear them more then Joey!"
"Yeah, and they show off your scrawny legs perfectly," Monica jumped in.
"Yeah, well what about your legs?"
"My legs are perfectly shaped for a woman…and so are yours."
"Yeah, they would look great in a dress Chandler…shave the hair off and put on some fishnet stockings, it'll be great!" Phoebe said excitedly.
"Are you trying to turn me into my father?"
"We don't have to try Chandler; you already are your father!"
"Hey Joe, what's that?" Rachel asked, stopping Chandler from retorting to Phoebe's comment.
"What's what?"
"That!" Rachel leaned over and ran her finger down the long scar on his leg. Joey flushed slightly.
"Oh that…it's a scar."
"I can see that Joey…how did you get it?"
"Yeah Joey, how did you get it?" Chandler asked, grinning like the Cheshire cat. "Please enlighten us on how it got there; I think it would be a great story!"
"I think you would be a great dead body," Joey shot back. Chandler smirked, leaning back in his chair.
"Wow, somebody is touchy about his scar," Ross remarked.
"I'm not touchy…I just don't remember how it got there!"
"Chandler's smirk says differently, now spill!" Monica exclaimed. Joey glared at Chandler, who just continued to smirk at him.
"I don't wanna."
"Come on Joe…just think of it this way. Either you tell it, or I will…and you know how much I like to embellish stories…actually, no, don't tell it, I have a great idea!"
"Okay, okay!" Joey interrupted Chandler before he could get any further. "Okay, I'll tell you."
"Oh, but now I want to hear Chandler's version," Phoebe whined.
"I'll tell you after Pheebs," Chandler promised.
"Yeah, well you better."
"Okay Joey, tell us your story, come on!" Rachel urged, sitting forward in her chair. Joey rolled his eyes.
"Fine…I was around 8 I guess…"
"Joey!"
"Yeah ma?" 8 year old Joey yelled.
"Come on sweetie, time to come inside! Its time for my favourite son to go to bed!"
Joey rolled his eyes, trudging inside.
"Ma, I'm your only son," he whined. Joey's ma smiled down at him, ruffling his hair affectionately.
"I know, that's why you're my favourite…now off you go! Go and brush your teeth and don't forget to say goodnight to the girls!"
"Okay…what about Maurice?"
Joey's ma let out a sigh.
"Cookie, I've told you time and time again that Maurice is not real," she said sternly. Joey pouted.
"But ma-"
"No buts! Now off to bed!"
Joey trudged up the stairs and into the bathroom, muttering to himself. He picked up his toothbrush, and started to apply paste to it.
"Jooo-eeey."
Joey let out a gasp, then whirled around with a delighted look on his face.
"Maurice!" he exclaimed happily. Maurice tipped his hat, grinning down at little Joey.
"Joey! How is my favourite kid then? Still dreaming to reach for the stars? You know I can help you with that! I am, after all, a space cowboy!" he lifted his foot up and tapped on his spurs. "See? Cowboy! Add that to the fact I fly into space and you got yourself a space cowboy, boy howdy!"
"Maurice…my ma says you're not real," Joey said sadly. Maurice gasped, taking a step back in horror.
"Not real? Not real? My dear boy, how can I not be real? I'm standing right in front of you, in full cowboy gear-"
"Ma says that there is no such thing as a space cowboy…that only astonots go into space…not cowboys."
"That's astronauts Joey, and your ma is wrong! There are hundreds of space cowboys in the business! I run into them all the time! Your ma is only jealous, because she doesn't have her own hat and can't fly into space."
"R-Really?"
"Really really! I'm real Joey, and I'm going to help you fly…you still want to fly don't ya?" Joey hesitated, thinking it over. His ma had said that Maurice wasn't real…but how could he not be real? Ma was just jealous, just like Maurice had said. And he really did want to fly.
"Yeah! I wanna be a space cowboy, just like you!"
"That's the spirit sonny! Well, the sooner we do this, the sooner you can be just like me! You wanna be just like me, don't ya?"
"I do! I really do!" Maurice grinned.
"Well, alrighty! Here's what we gotta do…we gotta get up on the roof-"
"The roof? But Maurice, I'm not allowed up there!"
"We have to go up there! It's the only way you'll be able to fly!" Maurice insisted. Joey bit his lip, then nodded.
"We can climb up there from out this window!"
"Fantastic! Lead the way kiddo!" Joey nodded excitedly, his toothbrush forgotten as he rushed over to the window.
"It's shut…I dunno if I can open it…you'll have to do it."
"Joey, I don't open things, it's not part of the space cowboy physiology!" Maurice exclaimed.
"What's that mean?"
"It means that you'll have to open it yourself!" Joey glanced from Maurice to the window, then back to Maurice.
"Okay!"
Struggling slightly, he managed to open the window, then grinned triumphantly at Maurice.
"Good job kiddo! That's gonna earn you a few gold stars! Now climb up!"
"Don't you want to go first?"
"Nah, you go first!"
Joey nodded, then quickly but carefully made his way up to the roof.
"Good job Joey!"
Joey let out a small cry, and nearly fell off the roof.
"Maurice! How did you get up here so quickly!"
"Well that Joey…that is part of the space cowboy physiology!" Joey stared at his friend for a moment, confused.
"O-Okay…now what do I do?"
"Well Joey….there really is only one way to become a space cowboy, and it starts right up here! This is how I became one, this is how my father became one, and my grandfather!"
"Wow! They were space cowboys too?"
"Of course! Every male in the family is destined to become a space cowboy!"
"My dad says that I'm gonna go into the pipe business," Joey said glumly. "Like he does, and like his dad did."
"Well, that isn't going to happen! Tell ya what, seeing I don't have a son, you can be my son for the moment and take after me! To hell with that pipe fitting business!" Joey gasped, covering his mouth to stop the giggles.
"You said a naughty word!"
"You're damn right I did! Look, I did it again! That's what we do in this family Joey, and seeing you are part of the family now, you can do it too! Give it a go!
"Okay," Joey took a deep breath, preparing himself. "You big old hunk of…crap weasel!"
"There we go!"
"That was fun!"
"I know it was kiddo, but it is no where near as much fun as being a space cowboy! So listen in closely, and I'll tell you what to do!" Joey stepped closer to Maurice, shivering slightly in the cold night air. "Alright…to qualify and become a space cowboy, all you have to do is…jump off the roof!"
"What? That's stupid!"
"No, seriously, it's great! You just have to get past your fears…because space cowboys can know no fear…and then you just jump…but you don't fall! If you have gotten past your fears and are truly worthy of becoming a space cowboy, you will fly!"
"Wow! But…but what if I'm not…"
"Worthy? Oh Joey, even if you weren't – which I know you are – I put in a good word for you with the boss…told them to look after this kid, cause he is a good kid! And if you don't, I will come in there and whoop your ass!"
"Wow! You really said that to your boss?" Joey exclaimed.
"I said a lot more Joey, but I don't think you are ready to hear that kind of filth just yet…but trust me, my boss ain't a stupid man…he's gonna let you pass!"
"You…you sure?"
"Course I'm sure! Are you sure?" Maurice peered down at Joey from underneath the rim of his hat. Joey shifted uncomfortably.
"I…I think so…"
"Joey, either you are or you ain't…now which one is it?" when Joey hesitated, Maurice let out a sigh. "Joey…you want to become just like me, don't ya? You want to become a space cowboy extraordinaire, just like me, don't ya?"
"Of course!"
"Well…I jumped off my roof…it's the only way!"
Joey took a deep breath, staring out into the darkening sky.
"Okay!"
"Okay?"
"Okay! I'm gonna do it! I wanna be a space cowboy, I'm gonna do it!"
"That's the spirit son! Now go, before you lose your nerve!"
"Okay!" Joey stepped up to the edge of the roof, then glanced at Maurice nervously. The space cowboy nodded reassuringly, and Joey nodded back. "Okay! I'm gonna be a space cowboy! Here I go!"
He leapt off the rooftop without a second thought and was surprised when he started to fall. The ground rushed towards him quickly and-
"And that's the story of how I got the scar on my leg," Joey finished. The group stared at him, barely concealed amusement covering their faces. Chandler, on the other hand, was not hiding his amusement at all.
"His leg was broken in three places! He had to wear a cast for months!" Joey glared at his best friend, who raised his hands in defence. "Hey, don't listen to me, you were the one who took advice from the imaginary space cowboy!"
"Oh, Joey, that's too bad that you didn't fly," Phoebe said sympathetically.
"Thankyou Pheebs…I really wanted to become a space cowboy." Joey pouted slightly.
"Aww, honey…well maybe one day you can play a space cowboy in a movie?" Rachel suggested. Joey nodded.
"Yeah…yeah! Maybe I will!" Ross snorted.
"Space cowboy…I can't believe it."
"Coming from the guy who used to dress up as a woman," Monica retorted. Chandler leaned forward in his seat, a look of amusement on his face.
"A woman? Really?"
"No…of course not!" Ross glared at Monica, who smirked at him.
"Yes you did…and there was a song!"
"A…a song?" Rachel raised her eyebrows in surprise.
"No…"
"I am Bea, I drink tea, won't you dance around with me?" Monica sang, causing the group to burst into laughter, with the exception of Ross, who turned bright red.
"Least I didn't jump off the roof at the insistence of an imaginary space cowboy!"
"Dude, whatever…space cowboys are cool. Dressing up as a woman, not so much," Joey said grinning. Chandler raised his eyebrow.
"Well, I know a story about a certain brother who used to dress up in his 7 sister's clothes," he singsonged.
"Du-ude!" Joey exclaimed. Ross let out a laugh.
"Now who's the cool one!"
"Least I still get sex with dozen of women!" Joey shot back. Chandler smirked.
"He's got a point there Bea. Now sing us a song!"