Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil, or Final Fantasy, Dumbo, Disney or Victoria's Secret in any way, shape, or form.

Luna: I know its been a slow update, and my apologizes! And yay, I beat Underbelly! WOOO! To Cyram: Thanks for the tip, I thought Yoko's charm was just meant to take up space. And I don't play online, heh; I'm too cheap…To deathbyhugs: Thanks for your constant reviews of my work! I can't wait for more of your fic! To everyone: Thanks for reviews!

Chapter 2: Dumbo gone wild!
" Hey Kevin," said David, " I'll take care of the combination lock. You should protect Cindy, our mute friend."
" What? Why?" asked Kevin, " Besides, I know-"

" I'm a plumber, leave it to me."

" What does being a plumber have to do with unlocking gates?"
Kevin shook his head. What an idiot…

" Look, it'll be faster if I do it." said Kevin.

Before David could go on about his plumbing skills, Kevin yanked the lock and turned it around. There was writing on the back of it. It said: I had pudding today.

" Your kidding, right?" asked Kevin, " Damn, what do we do now!"
" I'm a plumber, let me handle it…" said David.

Yoko returned to Kevin's side, wielding a scrub brush and said " What'll I do…?"
" Well…" I said, " Since Kevie here looks like Tidus, I'll help you. GO back to the Elephant Restaurant, and break down the doors until you get the bolt cutter behind the bar. Or you could just hop over the bar table…"

" Who are you!" asked Kevin, wondering if he needed medication.

I couldn't say I was his conscience…no…he wasn't stupid enough for that…

" I'm the spirit of Resident Evil!" I announced, " The disembodied voice of reason in the midst of chaos and survival horror!"
" Yeah, yeah," said Kevin, " Where are you?"
" Uh…around…" I said, " Well, I'm actually in my living room on the couch, and your on my T.V. I control you with a controller, and that urge to shoot/run/solve puzzles is all from the controller. Your in a game."

" Haha, very funny," said Kevin, rolling his eyes.

" Kevin, you okay?" asked David, " Talking to yourself, are we?"
" The infection spreads…" mumbled Yoko.

" No! I was talking to…no one." said Kevin, deciding I wasn't worth mentioning.

Ouch, that hurt.

Kevin entered the Elephant Restaurant and found a conviently placed iron pipe. He could've just jumped over the bar table to get the bolt cutter, but poor Kevin wasn't exactly a thinker. Instead, he consistently bashed in doors to get to it. While Yoko randomly grabbed stuff and then exchanged it out of her bag like a junkie. Don't worry, Yoko only takes important things. Like the stick. And the concrete piece. And ammo although she doesn't have a gun. Need I go on?
Kevin held up his prize, the bolt cutter; in triumph.

" Kevin, let's go!" said David, who appeared out of nowhere, " I'm gonna fight destiny."
"…I'm not gonna ask…" said Kevin.

Kevin returned to the locked gate, and used the bolt cutter. The gates opened and Kevin said, " We might as well have some fun while we're here."
" Fun? Like attacking the undead, being infected, and running for our lives?" asked Yoko.

" I was being sarcastic…" said Kevin.

They pressed onward to the East Concourse, or was it the west? Ah, whatever. That area you first enter. Suddenly, the whole placed began to shake, and an elephant jumped at them.

" The hell?" asked Kevin.

" I must run!" cried Yoko, as she ran and left Kevie for dead.

David was way ahead of all of them.

The elephant was indeed infected. And from its attitude, something had crawled up its ass and died.

" Oh my God!" cried Kevin, " It's a homicidal Dumbo!"

Kevin nearly tripped over Cindy in his attempt to run like a pansy from the 'homidal Dumbo'. I mean, come on! It's only a 2 ton, angry, rampaging elephant!

" Cindy!" cried Kevin.

He grabbed her wrist ,no pulse. He grabbed her wallet. It only had 3 dollars, a metro card and a Victoria's Secret card.

" NOOOOO!" screamed Kevin, either because Cindy was dead or because she only had 3 dollars in her wallet.

I'll go with the latter.

So he successfully pick-pocketed her and ran off, Dumbo on his heels. But not literally, cause…well, owwies.

Anyway, Kevin caught up with Yoko at a door way.

" Kevin!"
" Yoko!"
" Take this!"
She handed him a concrete piece.

" Gee, thanks. What about the ammo you picked up?"
" Sorry…"
" BUT YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A FREAKIN GUN!"

"…Sorry."
David, of course; was nowhere to be found. Where is he, you ask?
Meanwhile…

David regretted eating those refried beans and tacos at J's Bar before. Sure, it looked good at the time; but now…

Now nature was calling.

In the worst way.

At the worst possible time.

Luckily, when David left his 'comrades' for dead, he had found a toilet. Sure, it was gross, disorganized and probably infected; but when you gotta go, you gotta go.

Some time later, David dropped the kids at the pool; if you know what I mean. But now, the toilet was backed up.

He was about to leave, and cast a lasting glance at the abandon, backed up toilet.

" Damn." said David.

Being a plumber, David couldn't abandon a toilet in need. He opened his tool chest, and got ready to work.

Luna: Done! Review!